(A/N Just a little harmless fun… They aren't really in order of importance, except the last one.)
Disclaimer: Don't own them… no matter how much I try. Oh, if wishing made it so… sighs
Twenty Things I Learned From Pirates of the Caribbean
20. Rum is FUN!!!
19. You can be an unhygienic drunken pirate with implied gay tendencies and STILL get all the fangirls you could possibly want.
18. When you look better caked in mud, just having slept with pigs in a drunken stupor than you do when you're all dressed up in your work clothes, it is time to find a different job. (Yes, I mean you, NORRINGTON! GET RID OF THE WIG!)
17. Risking everything for a ship, including your life and the lives around you, is worth it. Totally worth it.
16. Dressing up in ridiculous hats and pirate costumes isn't DORKY, it's the just the "in" thing to do right now… (shifty eyes)
15. When uncertain about something, or faced with a situation you can't handle, just drink rum until you pass out.
14. APPARENTLY, being a really awesome, cute blacksmith won't get you any girls anymore. (I can't believe Elizabeth kissed Jack! grumbles under breathe NOBODY deserves both Orlando Bloom AND Johnny Depp…)
13. If your mad or frustrated, just shoot at the nearest moving object. (Preferably an undead monkey.)
12.You can pillage, plunder, kill and steal to your heart's content and still somehow end up on the "good" guys' side.
11. See number seventeen. Only this time, replace the word "ship" with "hat."
10. If you're in power, you can hang all of your enemies.
9. Brandishing around a sharp, pointy object and then trying to stab people with it is a good escape plan.
8. Speaking of escape plans, a cape and a large hat with a giant plume that makes you look like one of the Three Musketeers is very inconspicuous and PERFECT for trying to save a man that is LITERALLY facing the gallows at that very moment, and being guarded by about a hundred soldiers of the Royal Navy.
7. Soldiers in the Royal Navy have the worst aim ever and couldn't hit the blind side of a barn, much less Captain Jack Sparrow. (Even if he does run like an idiot.)
6. Saying things like "savvy" and calling people "love" is totally acceptable, and will not cause people to look at you like your insane at all.
5. If you watch POTC too much, you will start to suddenly develop a British accent.
4. The best thing to do in victory is flaunt it in your opponents' faces in a sing-song voice. (I've got a jar of dirt! I've got a jar of dirt! And guess what's inside it?)
3. If you are ever attacked by cursed, undead pirates that can't feel anything, be sure to hit them with something really hot, because it will be sure to…burn…them?
2. Raisins are really just humiliated grapes. (And the French invented mayonnaise!)
And the number one thing I learned from Pirates of the Caribbean?
1. I HATE CLIFFHANGER ENDINGS!!!
(A/N R&R, please! Hope you liked it!)