Vengeance is Sweet

Author: El Queso de Malicioso

Series: Teen Titans(Animated Series)

Genres: Humor/Parody

Rated: T; just for the hell of it.

Pairings: BB/Rae bits

Summary: Slade kicks the Titan's asses in a fight and Robin decides that it was BB's fault. Long story short; vengeance is sweet…

Disclaimer: All relation to existing proper nouns, fictional or otherwise, are entirely coincidental… unless they aren't. In which case, I don't own them.


"Beast Boy!"

"What'd I do this time?"

"How could you let him win?"

Beast Boy stared at his virtually frothing leader with a plainly dumbfounded expression on his face. "You're kidding right?" he asked when he'd regained control of his bodily functions.

"Answer the question!"

"I didn't let him win!" Beast Boy shouted, taking a step back from his psychotic leader.

"So," Robin began, his eyes narrowing dangerously. "Are you trying to say I let him win?"

"What the hell!"

"That's it you little bastard!" Robin shouted, spewing saliva from his mouth with every word. "You're on parole!"

With those final words, Robin stomped out of the room. Raven, Terra and Cyborg followed the teen out with their eyes before looking directly at Beast Boy; assumedly awaiting a reaction. Starfire, on the other hand, was just staring dreamily out the large windows.

Beast Boy, for his part, just waved the incident off before making his way out of the room. What the others failed to notice was the scheming grimace plastered over his face.

He was gonna get back at the wonderbread; and while he's at it, he might as well have some fun with their arch nemesis…

After the boy left, the others simply shrugged and began to go about their own business. Raven left; presumably to meditate or read. Terra sat on the couch and began to watch some quality porn. Cyborg, on the other hand, approached Starfire from behind. When he was within hearing range, he asked "Star? Whatcha' up to?"

"Oh, it is nothing friend" Starfire began. Cyborg gave her a look which clearly displayed his disbelief of her statement. As if having seen his look; which she actually had through the reflections on the window, Starfire decided that it would be best to tell him what was on her mind. "Oh, I was only thinking about Tony; where he is; what he is doing; who he is with; what he is thinking about; whether he is thinking of me; and whether or not he will ever return to me again someday…"

Cyborg nodded simpathetically before joining Terra on the couch for previously mentioned quality porn.


Later that same day, Beast Boy and Terra were sitting on the couch watching "The Dog Whisperer" on Animal Planet when the sound of glass shattering could be heard. Both couch dwellers turned around sharply to see Slade standing, silhouetted in the sunlight streaming in through the now broken windows behind him.

"What the f—" was all Terra could get out before Beast Boy gave her a look which clearly said 'shut your face!'

"Who reprogrammed my bots to break dance whenever I give them a command?" Slade shouted at the top of his lungs.

At this exact moment, Robin decided to make his appearance through the main doors. Beast Boy wasted no time pointing straight at the walking traffic light and shouting "He did it!"

Without a second's hesitation, Slade leapt at the teen and began to pummel him. By this point, Raven, Starfire and Cyborg had joined the others in the room. All were watching in grim fascination as their leader got the shit beat out of him.

"Should we not help him?" Starfire asked Raven, having leaned over to whisper in her ear.

"He can handle it" Raven replied flatly, walking over to the couch and setting herself down a few feet from Beast Boy.

Through all of this, Beast Boy was grinning manically. Raven noticed this shortly after sitting and said, some slight shock evident in her tone "Beast Boy? Did you—"

"What if I did?" Beast Boy asked her, grin never faltering.

"Absolutely nothing" Raven replied, relaxing for the show to come. "My only question is; how?"

"Yeah, BB" Terra broke in. "How'd you know how to—"

"Night class" Beast Boy replied simply.

Both Terra and Raven nodded in brief understanding.

It was approximately at this point that Terra noticed the far-off look in Cyborg's one organic eye. Moving deliberately, she cleared her throat, breaking the metal teen from his train of thought. "What's up Cy?"

He sighed slightly before replying. "Oh, I was only thinking about Tony; where he is; what he is doing; who he is with; what he is thinking about; whether he is thinking of me; and whether or not he will ever return to me again someday…"


A half hour's time left the team in a relative state of disarray. After; and only after Robin's miserable failure against Slade, Cyborg had taken him to the infirmary to give him a quick patch job. Raven had decided to stay with Beast Boy and Terra on the couch, deciding that due to the vaguely educational status of Animal Planet, she could allow herself to watch some television. Starfire was also there; but she doesn't really need an excuse.

At one point, Beast Boy had left briefly. The girls simply assumed that he'd gone to the bathroom or something. When he returned, however, he was just barely concealing the expression of sadistic triumph upon his face.

The trio of girls all gave him poignant glares, only eliciting a short "What?" from the scheming changeling. The three just shrugged before returning to "Animal Cops; Miami." A short while passed in complete silence before Terra sighed.

Beast Boy gave her a look, asking "What's up?"

"It's nothing" Terra replied almost too quickly. Beast Boy gave her a quick disbelieving look before turning back to the television himself.

Just as the officers on the program were slapping the cuffs on some neglectful drunkard, the large windows burst inward, revealing the dramatic silhouette of Slade with aknewed rage apparent in his stance.

All those present in the room spun about to face the vengeful arch villain. In a booming voice which would have sent a shudder down the back of Slade himself—had it not been himself from which the tone had originated—he declared his purpose for attacking.

"Who snuck into my lair and changed the combinations on my mechanical door locks?"

At this exact moment, Robin; cast on the left leg and sling on the right arm included; entered the room.

"He did it!"

Exactly as before, Robin was tackled and received the pummeling of his lifetime.

"I must say" Raven said, shifting her glance towards Beast Boy. "You're not as stupid as you look."

"Due to the fact that I can't tell whether that was a compliment or not," Beast Boy began to reply, not taking his eyes from the massacre before him. "I'll just ignore you."

"And beginner-level sarcasm to boot" Raven quipped, almost smiling—ALMOST!

"Now, that was definitely a compliment."

This particular attack was far shorter than the first as Slade had already exhausted himself once and had yet to fully recover. As such, it wasn't even five minutes before Slade had had enough and left.

At about this time, Cyborg entered the room and took a look about at the destruction. With a sigh, he said "Why doesn't anybody ever invite me to their parties?"

As he began to drag the long unconscious team leader from the room, Starfire noticed a pensive look upon Beast Boy's face. "What is wrong friend?" she asked innocently. "Was it not your plan to have Robin struck down in the most humiliating fashion possible?"

"Oh, that's not it Star" Beast Boy said, shaking his head. "Oh, I was only thinking about Tony; where he is; what he is doing; who he is with; what he is thinking about; whether he is thinking of me; and whether or not he will ever return to me again someday…"


An hour later had Beast Boy swooping in through a small window and joining a vaguely startled Terra in the hallway.

"What'd you do this time?" Terra asked, honestly curious.

"Wouldn't you like to know?" Beast Boy replied with a smirk. "So, what's up with you?"

Terra contemplated answering then began to glance about as to make certain of their solitude. Then, with a deep breath, she spoke. "I'm hot."

This statement was followed by a long period of silence; during which Beast Boy had entered a ruminating stance. Finally, he dropped it and gave Terra a sympathetic look. "I'm sorry; I just don't see it." Terra glared at him and he chuckled, saying "You know I'm just playin'!"

"Sure" Terra replied noncommittally. "Anyways, I've been thinking and think I need a booty call." She suddenly looked excited. "Oh my god! You wanna—"

"No way!" Beast Boy shouted. "That's just wrong!"

"As wrong as calling that Jillian chick every other week to see how she and her boyfriend are doing?"

"Hey! She told me to keep in touch; that's exactly what I'm doing!"

"Right" Terra replied, smirking vaguely. "So?"

With a sigh, Beast Boy said "Fine; but not with you." Terra gave him a vaguely hurt look. "We've already had our moment in the spotlight; nobody ever gets a second chance on shows like this."

A tentative agreement having been reached, the two made their way back to the common room. As if on queue, the window burst in upon their arrival.

"Who the hell keeps fixin' that window?" Cyborg shouted, completely forgetting about the sandwich in his hands.

"Who set my monitors on the Sun Dance channel?" Slade nearly screamed, panting in rage. "I'm not gay!"

Having heard the commotion, Robin lifted his head from its position within the fridge to see an enraged Slade and a silver gloved finger pointing directly at him as a slightly cracking voice shouted "He did it!"

Robin tried to hobble away with his crutch, but quickly gave up and simply dropped to the ground and curled into a small ball in an attempt to protect his major organs.

Amongst the sounds of screams of rage and pain, Beast Boy began to think over Terra's idea. 'Who should I go for?' he asked himself in his head. 'It can't be Star; she'd read too much into it. Not Bee—I don't wanna find out how much like her mascot she actually is. It definitely can't be Argent or Pantha—their accents would get annoying.'

Then, he decided exactly who it should be. He made his way over to Raven but quickly noticed the vaguely upset look on her face. "Wazzup' Rae?"

She peered over at him with a look which made him think she wasn't going to answer, but soon sighed and told him everything. "Oh, I was only thinking about Tony; where he is; what he is doing; who he is with; what he is thinking about; whether he is thinking of me; and whether or not he will ever return to me again someday…"


"Raven?" Terra nearly shouted, staring at Beast Boy as if his skin had turned… peach or some other completely natural hue.

"Hey!" Beast Boy shouted. "You're the one who thought up this whole 'booty call' thing!"


Beast Boy sighed deeply while rubbing the bridge of his nose. "Listen Ter; if you really want me to break things off with her, just say the word."

"I really want you to break things off with her!" Terra said, sounding vaguely desperate; as if, should Beast Boy remain with Raven, her entire sense of reality would simply implode upon itself; which was quite possible in retrospect.

"Oh hell" Beast Boy muttered.

"What is it?" Terra asked, not liking the sound of his voice.

"You just made her forbidden fruit!" he shouted, throwing his arms into the air. "I must have her!" He began to look about frantically before shouting "Rae!"

"Just let me finish this paragraph" Raven said, from her nearly invisible perch in the notably impossible shadows near the common room's windows. Less than thirty seconds later, she stood up and made her way for the door. "My room or yours?"

"As fun as a bunk bed sounds—" Beast Boy began just to be interrupted by Raven.

"My room it is!" With that, the pair made their way swiftly through the common room doors.

"What the—" was all Terra could get out as the window burst in.

"Who pinned this picture of Beast Boy's ass on my forehead, signing it 'from Beast Boy' in Beast Boy's handwriting?"

All those present in the room just stared. They didn't get much time to do so, however, as a silver gloved hand appeared through the common room doors and pointed straight at a wheelchair, shouting "He did it!"

Slade ran for the wheelchair's user and gave them a quick roundhouse kick to the head before leaping back out the window.

Terra just rolled her eyes and decided that she'd help the masked leader; entirely out of spite for Beast Boy. As she approached him, he sat up and gave her a vaguely thankful look before seeming to space out.

"What's wrong?" Terra asked, completely ignoring the obvious things.

"Oh," Robin began, letting out a deep breath. "I was only thinking about Tony; where he is; what he is doing; who he is with—"

Terra nodded sympathetically. "What he is thinking about; whether he is thinking of you; and whether or not he will ever return to you again someday…"

"Yeah," Robin answered with a sigh. "How 'bout you?"

Terra let out a sigh of her own before replying. "Oh, I was only thinking about Tony; where he is; what he is doing; who he is with; what he is thinking about; whether he is thinking of me; and whether or not he will ever return to me again someday…"


Slade sat back in his mechanical rotating chair and sighed with contentment. "Now, maybe I can scheme in peace."

He was just about to start examining a video when he heard a slightly squeaky voice shouting "Good morning Mr. Wiiiiiiiilsooooooon!"

He spun about in his chair just in time to be pegged in the forehead by a small rock. He brushed off the minor pain and ran in the direction of his attacker to find nothing but a child's sling shot.

Slade's butler, Wintergreen entered the room to see his master staring off into space, his one eye glazed over from deep thought. "What is the matter sir?"

Slade shook his head briefly before replying "Oh, I was only thinking about Tony…"


A/N: Okay, that was the biggest load of insanity I think I've ever produced. But, I can't help but think that it was up there with some of my best pieces of work. I hope you all enjoy it and will tell me what you thought.

P.S. Consider this to be a continuation to my apology for always keeping you all waiting.


The Cheese!