Straw Hat Guy!

By Technomaru

Chapter 8: "HOLY CRAP it's Garp!!

Note: You know the drill! I do not own any of these characters!

Sorry for the long long delay but I was having too much fun with Grim Eds and it's spin-off!.

I'm currently busy in my new job so I won't be updating as much...I just said "assmunch"!

WARNING: SOME JOKES CAN BE OFFENSIVE AND OBSCURE! SO I AM NOT TO BLAME IF YOU GET PISSED! And if you complain, I will break your legs... and give you $100! Or I will send you to the hospital... in your very own Camero!

Did I mention Haley Smith is the new Nico Robin?

I also dedicate this fanfic to my very close friend Emma Iveli, give her a hand everyone! *clap clap* I also apologize for some stuff in the early chapters and if you don't like it... just use the "ret-cannon" to erase some stuff.

And I also dedicate the story to the guys in the Peter Griffin and giant chicken cosplay, they inspired me to continue this story for a while.


Garp looks at Peter and Peter looks at Garp, Peter then says, "Wow, this is just as awkward as the time Quacula discovered he has a illeginimate son from his fling in Britan."

(Cutaway Begins)

In a spooky old castle, a egg shaped coffin opens and Quacula rises from it saying, "Now that it's night, I shall scare the daylights out of innocent victims, quack quack double quack quack!" But before he can fly out of the castle he is stopped by a female vampire duck. Quacula then says, "C..C...Cassandra Patoson? What brings you here? quack quack!" Then the female vampire duck then says, "Quacula, remember that time we met when you had a vacation in Britian?' Quacula then says, "Oh yes, It was funny when I made Ringo Starr pee himself when I frightened him quack quack!" Then Cassandra says, "Well you forgot a souvenier!" Then a green vampire duck appears and he is eating a broccoli sandwich and he says in a British accent, "H'llo dad! The name's Duckula, Count Duckula!"

Quacula is shocked and says, "Oh no! First I find out that I have a son in Britian and now I discover he's a vegetarian! (notices a sunrise) Oh good! Salvation! quack quack!" Then Quacula runs outside and after being exposed to sunlight he turns to dust. Then the two british vampire ducks run to Castle Duckula before it transports back to Transylvania.

(cutaway ends)

Lois then sees Garp and upon further inspection, Lois then says, "D..D..Daddy? Is that you?" Garp then says, "No it is not, I already arrested Daddy the Father for letting "Long nose" over there escape and I will arrest this fat bastard... he's my grandson Griffin D. Peter. Peter then looks at Lois and says, "Umm honey I never had a affair with this man, I have never seen him in my life!" Lois then says to Peter, "Umm Peter you have it all wrong it... oh you know what I'm confused, this world confuses me.

Peter then says, "If you think that's confusing, I actually saw Hotel Rwanda thinking it was a comedy about black people owning a hotel just like how they own a airline business in "Soul Plane" (Everyone gives him a scornful look) But then it turns out to be just as depressing as "A Dry White Season"."

Chris then sees a alien and a teenage boy and says to the boy, "I know you... you're Coby and that's Helmeppo!" "Coby" then says, "No I'm Steve and that's my friend Roger... I see the effects of this world are getting to you too... although I have a weird memory of playing "popcorn" with Chef Herbert and you back on the Baratie" Roger then says, "I have no idea why I'm here as well!"

Garp/Carter then says, "To hell with you all! Let's get them!"

Then the Straw Hat Griffins then ran from the Marines, Mr. 3/Farkas uses his wax wax fruit powers to give them the slip and and make a brave stunt in escaping.

However they are caught by Garp/Carter and the Marines and then Carter says, "Well despite that brave stunt I managed to catch you... now show yourselves!" The Straw Hat Griffins turned around and Carter couldn't believe what he is seeing and apparently the women of the crew are men and Ms. Goldenweek/ Janet is a cigar smoking midget.

Carter then angerly shouts, "You idiots! These are not them! You've captured their stunt doubles!"

The real Straw Hat Griffins managed to get to the Thousand Sunny and then Ms. Valentine runs to the ship and says, "Hey wait, I want to join, I do have a name back inthe real world... it's Beth!" Peter then says, "Umm... sorry Beth but your kilo-kilo fruit power kinda grossed us out and attracted perverted chubby chasers so no admittance!"

Ms. Valentine just gives up chasing the ship and she sees a candy store that says, "HELP WANTED" and she smiles with glee and goes inside and gets hired.

Peter then says, "Boy that vacation spot wasn't very fun, even in this world Carter is a douche!" Quagmire then says, "Yeah, that's just as shocking as the next cutaway gag and the horrible joke I'm about to tell..."

(Cutaway begins)

Quagmire is in New York City and the Mayor says to him, "That's amazing Mr. Quagmire... but just tell me... how did you know the Statue of Liberty was INDEED a black woman?" Quagmire replies as he smokes a cigarette, "Elementary Mayor Bloomberg... I found her badunkadunk and therefore she is INDEED modeled after a black woman and boy... just look at that badunkadunk.... giggity giggity!"

(Cutaway ends)

Quagmire then asks, "Ok Peter here's a joke... what's the difference between a black guy and a car tire?" Peter then says, "I don't like where this is going..." Quagmire then says, "Ok, the tire doesn't sing when you put it in chains... HAHAHA I told you it would be shocking!" Peter then says, "Quagmire even I have a limit with that joke... (kicks Quagmire in the back) MY GREAT GRANDPA NATE GRIFFIN WAS BLACK YOU BASTARD!" Quagmire then says, "Ok... I deserved that... anyone for dog jokes?"

Brian then says, "Oh no... leave me out of this! I mean just 2 weeks ago I have seen hell!

(Cutaway Begins)

Brian is tied to a chair and is in a little girl's house. To Brian's horror it's Elmyra Duff! Elmyra then says, "Oooh! Look at the fuzzy head I love dogs, I love doggies, squeeze 'em into itty-bitties! I'll love them, and hug them and hold them forever!" She does this while hugging Brian half to death.

Brian then shouts, "Hey what the hell are you doing you crazy bitch!" Elmyra then pulls out a bar of soap and sticks it into Brian's mouth and says, "Bad dog! I don't like your "naughty waughty potty talk!"

Then Brian notices two former Lab mice, the one with the big head says, "The obvious nature of this pondering belittles us all.... Pinky, are you pondering what I'm pondering?" The other lab mouse says, "I think so Brain but where do we get the hair gel the "Z warriors" from "Dragon Ball Z" use? NARF!

(Cutaway Ends)

Lois then asks Peter, "Ok "Captain, what's our next stop and how are we ever going to find out why we're here and how do we escape?" Peter then says, "I have no idea... I mean we should be glad the author continued this crappy fanfic to get us out of Little Garden before Carter would arrest us and send us to Impel Down... so until the author can figure out what our next adventure would be... I just don't know..."

Haley then says, "Umm Mr. Griffin what should we do to prevent our patient readers from getting mad at us?" Peter then looks at the audience and says, "Ladies and Gentlemen... Mr. Conway Twitty!"

But before anything happens, Chris and Meg manage to catch a fish and it turns out to be Brian's gay cousin Jasper dressed as a ballerina. Peter shouts, "Holy Crap it's Richard Simmon's best friend Richard Simmons!" Jasper then says, "Thanks for saving me sweeties but anyway I heard you're in a slump on how to leave our readers wanting a new chapter I have one..."

Jasper then sings as he spins around, "Un...Deux...Troi!

I am the strongest... OKAMA WAY! OKAMA WAY! OKAMA WAY!"

Jasper then touches his face with his right hand and transforms into Chris Crocker and shouts, "LEAVE BRITNEY ALONE!"

The Strawhat Griffins are just freaked out but this as Peter then tells the author, "JUST END THE DAMN CHAPTER ALREADY!"

NEXT TIME: The author can't think of what adventure should they have next!

by the way I apologize once again for the racist humor but then again... every episode of Family Guy and most shows on Comedy Central have at least one racist joke in it so I'm going with the flow!