New story, yeah! I've been toying with this idea for ages. What if the Host Club was in Hogwarts? Chaos, randomness, and plenty of other crack is needed in times when everyone is angst-ing.

This will be AU, set in the sixth year, and the Host Club are magic-users. Just to let you know, there is NO PLOT. Just scenes of what it'll be like with the Host Club in Hogwarts, all of them silly. You know, them taking classes, a typical day on the job, individual scenes of the members being hounded by admirers or haters...


Kyouya wished that they didn't need to use such a public form of transportation (there were commoners in here), but there was a very strict rule that all students had to arrive at Hogwarts via the Hogwarts Express.

Even with all the special arrangements he managed to do beforehand, he wasn't able to do anything about this one, unfortunately.

On the plus side, he had his laptop upgraded so that it wouldn't be affected the excess magic in the air. He didn't know if he could survive without it.

Ouran Academy, in fact, had classes for instructing magic to those who had potential. Not everyone in the academy had magic, of course, but those who did were taught without the knowledge of the non-magical students. Because the Host Club members all had the highest grades, were known to be extremely capable students, and were all wizards (well, there's a witch in the group too, but no one knew that), they were chosen for a transfer program to Hogwarts.

The Host club had to have magical powers. Where'd you think the swirling roses constantly came from? Strange the muggle customers never figured it out…

In one of the train's apartments, Kyouya was typing on his laptop, Honey had purchased half of the sweets from the food trolley (he would've bought the whole thing but the lady insisted that others needed to eat, although she nearly caved in to Honey's unmatched adorableness) and was eating a Pumpkin Pastry under Mori's watchful eye, and the twins were flirting with Haruhi, causing Tamaki to wail out as loudly as he could.

"Oh yes, Tamaki. I know that you have plans to set the Host Club at Hogwarts, yes?" Kyouya said, looking up from his computer.

Tamaki stopped screaming about his daughter being defiled and immediately flashed a smile. "In such dark times as these, we must spread joy! Bringing the Host Club to Hogwarts is a must!"

"Yes, but don't forget, not everyone in Hogwarts can afford our prices. However, with the house elves providing cakes for Honey-senpai, we will save a lot of money and lowering the prices will not be such a big problem," Kyouya said, adjusting his glasses with a slender finger. "And Haruhi, I fixed the papers so that you will be going as a male student. Any confirmation that you are indeed a girl will cause your debt to triple, and I'll figure out a way for you to pay us back even if you're no longer a Host."

Haruhi sighed as she smoothed out her robes. One problem was that the Hogwarts uniform was the same for both girls and boys, and more than ever there would be confusion regarding her gender.

"But the dormitories are separated by gender, Kyouya-senpai," Haruhi pointed out. "My house will know that I'm a girl."

"Don't worry. I'll handle everything," Kyouya said, giving his infamous smile that everyone knew foreboded something evil and/or dangerous. Everyone pitied whatever house Haruhi was put in. They really did.


Next, the sorting!