A/N: I couldn't help myself! This fic just screamed out to me. Oh well. Multi-chapter Saiyuki story that's all humor with a touch of angst and a pinch of drama added for good measure. Don't worry – Sanzo's still an asshole – he's just a cool one.

Wee! I'm a useless disclaimer!


The redhead sat at the bar, his friends next to him were already hammered beyond being able to recognize him. Whistling and howling at woman over the music, they carried on like 18 year olds on their first bar bender. Gojyo huffed and head-desked the bar when on of his friends made a grab for a rather busty brunette's butt. 300 years gave a person a lot of time to mature. He smirked and leaned back so his hair brushed the same brunette's arm as she stomped past. He smirked and she smirked back, silently taking a seat next to him.

It also gave a person a lot of time to perfect their technique.

''

300 years was a long time to wait for someone, but on a stone plateau in the mountains of china, a young man gazed out over the land. Seeing all, but seeing nothing at the same time, he paid no attention to the rain that pelted his body. Golden eyes darted back and forth, and every few hours he would turn at 90 degrees before becoming perfectly still once more. He was looking. And Goku always would.

Always looking,

Until he wouldn't have to look anymore.

However, he was given a sign.

A small speck of light over the horizon gave him hope.

''

Green eyes closed as he rubbed the bridge of his nose. Through a very distant link, he could feel someone tug. His chi did that to him a lot – if Goku had found something that might even remotely lead to his light, or Gojyo had found a woman to bed. However, Hakkai noticed that this tug was different. It wasn't subtle or gently, it was demanding and deserved respect. The demon sighed walked over to the window in his moderately small apartment.

"I didn't expect you. If I had, I would've cleaned."

"Oh, don't on my account;" the Bodhivista said behind him, "I just came to tell you something."

"I'm listening," Hakkai said with a small smile.

The Merciful goddess smiled, crossing hir legs while sitting on his kitchen counter, "My nephew was getting rather restless up in heaven. Caused a few deities to burst a vein or two. So, we've sent him down here so he won't cause such a problem. I must admit though, I will miss the company," se sighed.

The green-eyed man turned to face hir, hope and longing written all over his face; "How long?" he asked.

"How long what?"

"How long has he been here?"

"Oh…22 years, give or take a few."

"And you didn't tell us why?"

"Because you would've looked like stalkers if he was any younger," se stated.

"True."

"Now, I've got to go appear in a vision in South China. I'll be back in a few years to check up on you. Almost forgot!" se said, clicking her fingers together, "You'll need these," se added on, throwing him a set of keys.

"What are these?"

"2087 June Street, Finland."

"Finland?"

"Parking lot under the Lou Megaplex in Sweden."

"Sweden?"

"And 42 Amide Street, Stockholm."

"S-Stockholm?"

"I also pictured my nephew being European…" se said, head cocked in a thinking position and a small smile on hir face.

"Wait!" Hakkai begged, "How do we find him?"

"Simple," se said, jumping off the kitchen counter and taking an apple with hir, "Look. He's not that hard to miss. Oh, and you might want to pick up Goku on the way. Last I saw of him he was on Ngari Mountain. That boy is such a hassle."

"But-"

"You may also want to get to him before they do."

"They? What-"

"Good-bye Cho Hakkai."

In the blink of an eye se vanished into nothing. Hakkai stared a few moments and with a small 'thud' fell back against the wall. Revelations were a bitch to deal with, he decided as he wiped his slim frame glasses with his shirt. He would have to quit his stable job, fetch Gojyo and find Goku – all of which would be difficult. However, no matter how grim his thoughts, he still smiled.

''

"Hey, hey Kai'," Gojyo greeted his best friend with a hug.

"Good to see you again Gojyo," he said, returning the hug, "How have you been?"

The redhead whistled and pulled away from him, but still kept an arm around his neck, "There was this absolutely scrumptious brunette last night – Maggie – who was an absolute bomb in the bed. I never new it was possible to-"

"That's…enough Gojyo," Hakkai said trying not to laugh.

Gojyo sighed and began walking at a steady pace next to Hakkai (who was being pulled along). With a smile, Gojyo smirked at anything with a skirt as they walked. "It's been too long, Kai'. We should meet up more often."

"But I just saw you last week."

"As I said, too long."

"You're rather clingy when it comes to me, aren't you?" Hakkai asked, amused.

"Duh."

Both fell into a comfortable silence. Gojyo still, after many years, walked with one arm around his shoulders and a goofy grin. Some people they walked past in the local park would stop and give them a second glance, but Gojyo's reputation in the area killed any rumors that would've started. Hakkai guessed, if he had to, that Gojyo hadn't had to spend a night alone for at least the past six months. There was a week where Gojyo's was so incredibly sick he had to stay with Hakkai, but even then Gojyo was at it. His phone bill was proof enough. However, Hakkai needed to tell him about Sanzo but didn't know how to do it. So he'd decided to be straight forward about it.

"Sanzo's back."

"That nice- what!?"

Gojyo had stopped and a few people stopped and stared at Gojyo as he screamed. Hakkai cringed out how loud he was (being next to his ear), "Gojyo, keep your voice down."

"How could I not! I mean, we're just walking and then all of a sudden you say 'Hey, our friend who's been dead for 300 years is back'! Hakkai!"

"Gojyo…I'm sorry. I should've been more subtle…"

"Sorry? Sorry?! What's to be sorry about! The monkey's going to go nuts! And that bastard still owes me a lighter!" Gojyo yelled furiously.

"Gojyo?"

"Sanzo is going to pay!"

"Gojyo?"

"Sanzo also owes me at least three packs of cigarettes! Maybe a cigar!"

"Gojyo?"

"He left the monkey too! Bastard!"

"Gojyo!"

"What?"

"It's nice to see you glad he's alive…but…did it occur to you that his name might not be Sanzo? Or he may not even be a monk?"

"But…Sanzo's a monk…"

"Yes, but what the Merciful Goddess told-"

"Se told you?"

"Yes…is that a problem?"

"No problems…continue."

"As I was saying…he lives in Sweden, so he may not be called 'Sanzo' or be a monk either."

"But…that's just not right. So you saying he could be called something like Rune or something Swedish?"

"Achoo!"

"Bless you."

"Thanks, bitch."

"Don't call me a bitch, you cu-"

"Why Rune?"

"Don't know…"

"That's not the only thing…She also gave us these," Hakkai said, holding up a set of multicoloured keys, "I don't know what they're for, but she just left addresses. She didn't tell me anything other than that," he concluded, throwing the keys to Gojyo who was just staring at them.

"No way!" He screamed so loudly this time, that Hakkai jumped nearly a foot into the air. "These are for a freaking Porsche! And this is a house key!" He said, holding up a gold key. Hakkai stuck a finger in his ear and moved it around just to make sure he wasn't deaf. "This is too good."

"A Porsche? Interesting…"

"You still remember how to drive, right Hakkai?"

"Well, yes but-"

"C'mon then!"

"What?"

"Let's go! It's about time! If I had to wait another 300 years for another journey I would've gone absolutely nuts!"

"Gojyo."

"Yes, Hakkai?"

"We have to go get Goku."

"And?"

"Do you know where he is?"

"No. You?"

"Yes, but…"

"What?"

"Have you still got your hiking things?"

"…"

"…"

"I don't…like the sound of that."

For most of his life, Rune Sanyo had been stalked by one person or another. When he was smaller, he was stalked by criminals trying to kidnap and hold him for ransom because his parents were rich and important. As he got older, girls started stalking him. In school, countless love letters were left in his locker and desk. Everywhere he walked; girls in groups would giggle and point. And as his sister pointed out, he wondered why such traumatizing things hadn't made him gay. However, it had quite the opposite effect much to his younger sister's chagrin. He harnessed his good looks that he'd gotten from his late father, and used them to his advantage.

Women would drop like flies when he smiled at them.

And that was when he was 17.

With years of experience under his belt, Rune Sanyo could make even the most feminist of women drop to their knees begging for a taste of his lips. His sister said it was disgusting how he did it, and without his good looks, he wouldn't have the title of President. Even he admitted it – he had a foul temper and even worse attitude behind the façade of gentle looking violet eyes, and soft blonde hair. He looked like he couldn't hurt a fly, but in reality, he was the person that pinned it to a piece of PDF and pulled its' wings off with tweezers while not-laughing. He constantly got into fights (which he won due to his self-defense training as a child), and would always be a smartarse to the wrong person at the wrong time. However, when he needed to, he could smooth talk his way out of it. He'd met his best friend, Kou, that way. He was only 15 and the man could've been no older than 23, but they still understood each other like no one else could.

However, the one thing he didn't know how to deal with was crazies with gold eyes that wouldn't stop staring at him. He was supposed to be meeting Kou for a much deserved break and maybe getting some tail, when the teen showed up right in front of him – an uncomfortable 4 inches in front of him.

"Look kid, I don't have what you want, so get lost," he spat out at him.

"No."

"What?"

"I've been waiting…waiting for so long…I'm not leaving now, Sanzo."

"What the fuck? My name's not Sanzo. It's Sanyo, idiot. And how do you know that anyway?"

"No…your name's Sanzo.

"Fuck off, kid-"

"Hey Rune, what-"

Rune turned around to face his best friend only to find that the redhead had stopped in his tracks with wide eyes. He arched an eyebrow, and in the briefest moment of distraction, the teen who'd been following him around for the past week gathered him into a crushing embrace. Rune noticed that his arms were pinned to his sides, and wondered whether the kid did it on purpose.

"Holy shit!" Rune choked out, "This kid's strong! For fuck sake, help me Kou!"

He got no reply.

"Kou! For the love of – Ow! Fucking stop that!" He screamed at the boy who was squeezing even harder. "Kou!"

However, instead of the usually 'punch and go' attitude that his friend normally used, Rune was shocked to see that rather than a blow to the face, Kou merely put a calm hand on the boy's shoulder, and coolly told the boy to let go. When that didn't work and he only squeezed harder (making Rune choke), Kou asked the boy to look at him. The blonde could feel the boy turn his head and watched, fascinated, as the boy's gold eyes went wide and a small, "Kougaji?" tumble from his lips.

"Hey Goku."

"Mind telling me what the fuck is going on?!"


A/N2: So, how was that? The plot will thicken next chapter and it won't be so runny. I know nobody reads the end notes, and I could say anything I wanted to here. Ah well. Doesn't matter. Oh, also, I'm looking for a Beta-Beta. Someone who's better then me (don't worry, be as snobby as you want about it) at english, and can mark my work.

Next Chapter: Who I Was, What He Is