Disclaimer: Zelda belongs to Nintendo

Jolt: Wow… this is honestly the most random idea I've ever had…

Link: Oh THIS will be fun…

Jolt: You bet your tights it will… for me…

Link: Dude… leave the tights out of this…


A digital alarm blared out in a small room. In the bed next to the dresser that the alarm sat on a large mound twitched. Several curses came from under the covers as a hand reached out and felt around until it found the off switch on the alarm.

About a minute latter a blonde haired teenaged boy dragged himself out of bed and stretched. "I hate mornings!" He yawned. He walked over to the dresser, scratching his balls on the way, and pulled out some clothes. These clothes where grey baggy pants and a loose fitting green T-shirt.

After a final yawn and stretch he walked out of his room and down into the kitchen where he smelt his grandmothers cooking. His sister was already eating some of their grandmother's special pancakes with a huge grin on her face. They both loved these pancakes and couldn't understand why everyone else turned their noses up. What was so weird about pancakes with pickles in them?

The teen sat down and grabbed himself a few pan cakes and greeted his relatives, "G'mornin' Gran, mornin' Aryll…" He then proceeded to shove pancakes into his mouth.

The teen's grandmother smiled at him and replied, "Why good morning Link, awoken from the dead have we?" Aryll laughed heartily at her brother who shot his grandmother an 'Oi!' look.

As the two siblings finished their breakfast the thanked their grandmother and raced back up stairs to gather their school gear and ran back out of the house so they wouldn't miss their bus.

They ran to the bus stop with time to spare. The two sat down to catch their breath. The view from this bus stop was the most beautiful in the city. Link smiled out over the wondrous sight of their city, Hyrule City.

As far as they could see stretched massive buildings and layers of hover vehicle lanes. This was the capitol city of the nation of the same name.

They had just moved here and they where getting nervous. They didn't know anyone or anything. They just hoped everything would be ok on their first days at school.

They didn't have to wait long for the hover bus to arrive. The driver wore a white hat with a black rim with an anchor on it. He had brown hair and tended to scratch his armpits a lot. "Howdy kids! You must be the new comers! Take a seat! This is a free service." He said with a grin.

Link and Aryll smiled and thanked him and quickly took their seats in the middle of the bus. Aryll took the window seat and Link took the outer seat. Link smiled as Aryll looked in awe as they shot passed the building in the city in her youthful innocence.

The bus came to another stop about 5 minutes later and a very attractive young girl got on. She wore a tight green top, a green mini skirt and had green hair. She took the seat right behind Link and smiled at him, "Hi." She greeted, "I haven't seen you around before! What's your name hottie?"

Link blushed, a lot. This girl hadn't even been on the bus one minute and was already hitting on him. He suddenly realized his sister was talking.

"I'm Aryll and my big brother is Link, what's your name miss?" Aryll answered and asked politely.

"Well, my name is Saria, it's nice to meet you Aryll! And you too Link!" She replied, winking at Link causing him to blush more, which in turn caused Saria to giggle a little.

Link looked away and blocked out Aryll and Saria's conversation, instead concentrating on when it would be Aryll's stop. It took about twenty more minutes for Aryll's stop to arrive and Link waved his sister goodbye from the bus. He didn't have to worry since there where teachers there to watch the Elementary School students get to class.

He was surprised however when yet another girl sat near him, this time taking the place he had been sitting before Aryll got off, since he had taken the window seat. This new girl had dazzling blue hair and blue eyes that matched Links. Her skin looked smooth and soft and her figure made Link feel a blush creep onto his cheeks and himself get a little aroused. Her most unique feature was the massive butterfly wings on her back. A fairy!

"HOLY MOTHER OF DIN!!" Link boggled, "You're a real fairy!" He gasped in shock.

She blushed, "Yes… we can change our size at will… my ancestor is said to have aided the Hero of Time in his journey… my name is Navi in her honour…" She replied her cheeks a deep crimson.

"Oh wow! That's so weird! My ancestor was said to be the Sage of Forest, Saria, who I am named after." The green haired girl chirped.

Saria suddenly looked at Link and blinked, "No way… your not…?"

"Said to be the Heroes descendent? Uh… well… yeah I am…" Link groaned.

Both girls squealed. "WHEEE!! THIS IS SO COOL!!" They both started muttering a squealing to each other about what only the Goddesses would know but, alas, Link had no idea about. What little he could work out involved "reunion" "Ancestors" and "Hottie" pretty soon he just blocked it all out and tried to take a nap.

After a short while the bus came to a stop outside of Hyrule City High School and everyone that had gotten on the bus began to file out. Link scratched his head as he hopped out with his bag on his back. There was only one way he could describe it, huge. You could line 10 suburban homes length wise in front of the school and have room to spare and it was well over 10 stories tall. The logo, as ever, was the Triforce.

"Someone splurged…" The teen commented as he looked about. He was about to start walking towards the school when he felt a collection of arms grab him from behind causing his eyes to bug out.

Saria and Navi both had a hand on one of his but cheeks causing the now quite terrified teen to blush furiously. In unison they grinned and proclaimed, "We'll escort you to the principle to get your schedule… ok?" Link nodded dumbly as he was escorted to the school while attracting many curious looks.

After a few awkward minutes Link was standing in front of a very curious principle. He wore a very old fashioned but still very smart suit, had a long white beard and massive eyebrows that hid his eyes. One massive eyebrow rose as he looked at Link with a grinning Saria and Navi clinging to one arm each and asked, "First day here and school hasn't even started yet and yet you already have girls hanging off you? Tell me young Link… what's your secret?"

Link just gaped at the principle in shock causing the old man to giggle girlishly causing the three to sweat drop. "Not to worry… Here you are Link I suggest you get to homeroom now… I do believe you're in the same homeroom as your girlfriends." The old man grinned as he handed Link the schedule while the teen paled.

He had every right to again when he walked into his homeroom.

When he did he took one glance around and saw no males what so ever. He looked over to his homeroom teacher hoping for an act of mercy but he had no such luck. His homeroom teacher was a heavily tanned, scantly clad BABE. She looked at Link with yellow/orange eyes and winked suggestively.

Suddenly a red head leaped out of her chair, "LINK!" The blonde boy now found a third girl clinging to him.

The blonde looked down and moaned, "Malon…?"

"YEPPERS!!" Malon chirped, "Long time no see!"

Link groaned as Saria and Navi looked between Link and the Malon and asked, "What in the world?"

Link looked at the other two girls and explained, "Malon is one of my longest friends. We have known each other since we where five…" He tried in vein to pry the girls off and sighed in defeat.

Saria and Navi grinned evilly and began prattling with Malon about Link. Again they went into Girl-Speak™ meaning poor Link understood none of it despite them still using plain English. He sighed and looked up at his homeroom teacher, "Hi I'm new here."

Brilliant…

"I see you must be Link…" The teacher looked him up and down licking her full lips before wrapping one arm under her chest making it more obvious. Poor Link blushed furious as he realized she was quite well endowed there. "I'm your homeroom teacher, Nabooru…" She walked over to the now scared boy bending down so her got a mighty view of her cleavage, "If you behave you'll find me to be a… pleasurable… teacher…" She licked her lips again suggestively as Link's eyes nearly leaped out of his head.

The other girls where slowly creeping closer towards Link when the bell rang out much to the green clad ones relief. He looked at his schedule it noted his first class was cooking. With a shrugged Link looked at the map on the back and followed its directions to the Home Economics department. The girls would have shown him the way but they had to go the other way…

Link silently thanked the Goddesses for their mercy…

He cursed them as soon as he entered his class…

He found he had been placed between the daughters of the two most influential men in Hyrule. On his left was the blonde daughter of the King of Hyrule himself and on his right the daughter of the King of the Zora's, the Hyrule's closest allies. Link wondered what he had done to be stuck between the most famous pervert in the world and a walking talking fish?

Zelda was nice enough to look at and quite well behaved when her father was around. But Link could see behind the innocent mask on those eyes. He saw the drooling sex crazed pervert behind them looking straight at his crotch that was still excited from the view of Nabooru's cleavage.

Ruto was just as nice on the eyes, and being a fish, the only thing she had to wear was an apron for this class leaving nearly nothing to the teen's imagination. However she made no moves to hide her lustfulness unlike Zelda. The perverseness and lustfulness was plain for the world to see in her large eyes.

Their large cooking teacher, a known lesbian, walked out and Link gaped. "That is the biggest lady I have ever seen!" He said a bit louder then he intended.

The large teacher walked over to Link and looked him over between looking between the girls. She smiled nicely and politely asked, "Biggest in what way, dear?"

"Height and muscle size! Your arms are bigger then Dad's…" Link stopped for a second and went quiet before mumbling, "Where…"

The cooking teacher heard all of it and nodded smiling more, "I see! Well you must be the new boy, Link?" Link nodded and she continued, "Well your comment has made me happy! It may not interest me but it's still nice when a male says a nice thing about me… See me after class I'd like to chat."

Link blinked confused but nodded. Zelda and Ruto looked between each other and Link and decided not to go through with their usual shenanigans as they did with other boys. Link's sudden change after mentioning his father startled them and even they know when it wasn't the time.

That didn't stop Ruto from being disruptive just a minute later when the teacher announced, "Today class we will be preparing sushi!" The teacher cast a glance at Link and he sprung up with a cry of "Sushi?"

Ruto on the other hand looked horrified, "SUSHI!!" she screamed and ran over to where all the fish where and screamed, "TIMMY!!" She held a fish to her chest and started crying, "YOU MURDERED MY TIMMY-WILLY!!"

Everyone either ignored her or stayed the hell away from her. Link really didn't know why she called it Timmy-willy. A glance at Zelda's face confirmed it. Zelda was a mix of disappointment at the fish's death, disgust, and a blush.

Whoever Timmy had been he had been one happy fish in life. Link decided once and for all that these girls where crazy.


Jolt: I have more ideas but I'm just going to get this up and continue in another chapter.

Link: Yeah… two years after your started writing this…

Jolt: Shut the hell up.

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