Disclaimer: I don't own Supernatural or the characters.
YOU & ME
The door slammed shut. It was one of those old doors that almost shook the entire room. Dean locked it immediately. His head was filled with all the instructions his dad had trusted him with like so many times before. Stepping to the window he saw his dad driving away, after giving him a nod.
It was already dark. His gaze turned to the clock on the wall, it was half pat six. Dean turned around when he saw the brown mop of unruly hair, belonging to his brother.
"Hey there, Sammy." He looked at his seven year old brother, ruffling his hair affectionately. "You excited about tomorrow?"
Sam nodded. Dean looked into his eyes, not seeing them light up as they usually did.
"What is it, buddy?"
Sam regarded Dean and seemed to hesitate.
"Hey...come on." Dean touched Sam's arm gently.
"What if they won't like me?" Sam looked up at Dean, his brown eyes shining slightly.
At first Dean didn't know what he meant, but then he remembered. Tomorrow was the first day of their new school. He clearly remembered that Sam had really liked the last school they had gone to, maybe because they had actually stayed in that town for quite a while. In the end though, something had come up, and here they were. New town, new school.
For a seven-year-old though, things weren't always so easy Dean realized, looking at his little brother who seemed desperate for reassurance.
"Sammy, Sam..." he tried to get those brown eyes to look into his. "Everyone liked you before, didn't they? Huh?"
Dean knew that Sam had liked the other kids back in Ohio, that was one of the reason they had decided to stay. Sam had been happy there. For Dean that had been enough. He always made sure Sam was safe, well-fed and happy.
"Yeah, they did," Sam said, almost thoughtfully.
"Well there you go, nothing to worry about. Okay?" Dean smiled at him, receiving a warm smile in return.
"Okay," Sam answered. He then fell against Dean, wrapping his arms tightly around the older boy's waist. Dean smiled to himself, brushing his hand through his little brother's curly hair.
Dean got up early next morning, he tried waking Sam but he just pulled the covers over his head. He decided he could get ten extra minutes, but that was it. They really couldn't afford to be late the first day.
The day it was decided that they were going to stay, was also the day when they had gone to the school to get registered. It was a small town and Dean knew why their dad always picked small towns, it was easier with the schools. It was also easy to actually get to school which was an advantage he supposed. The school building where Sam and Dean were going to today was really close, it didn't take long to walk there. But with the way Sam was acting this morning, he figured it was good to get up as early as possible.
"Sam! Up!" He looked at his brother who was clutching his pillow tightly. Dean sighed, it couldn't be helped, he took the covers away from his brother.
"Dean, five more minutes!" Sam mumbled trying to reach for the covers.
"No Sam. Come on, you don't want to be late do you?" Dean raised his eyebrows at him.
"Then come on." Dean watched his brother reluctantly get out of bed, but he knew how Sam felt about being late. Usually he was the one dragging Dean along, and not the other way around.
While Sam was eating his Lucky Charms, Dean packed the rest of Sam's stuff which lay scattered on the floor.
He kept a watchful eye on the clock, he really didn't want to loose track of time.
Dean saw Sam finishing his breakfast, rubbing his eyes, a bit too tiredly for Dean's liking.
'That was definitely the last time you stayed up that late, kiddo,' Dean thought darkly to himself. The night before Sam had really begged him to play the new game they had recently purchased. It had ended with Sam falling asleep on the floor, and Dean had carried him to his own bed.
"Dean?" Sam stood before him apparently ready to go.
"Yeah, kiddo. You good to go?"
"Yup," he nodded happily.
"Are you sure?" Dean looked at him doubtfully. Sam was normally fast, but never this fast.
"I was super-fast, right Dean?" He looked up at him obviously satisfied with himself.
Dean cracked a smile. "You sure were, kid." He then helped Sam with his jacket, and then the Superman backpack.
Sam was starting to reach for the door handle, he still wasn't tall enough to be able to reach the locker above though.
"Whoa, there, Tiger." Dean turned Sam around, looking at his mitten-clad hands. In his haste to get going he had put them on carelessly, on the wrong hands.
Sam watched patiently while Dean sorted them out. "See Sammy, this is the right one," he held up Sam's right little hand playfully, "and this is the left one." He held up Sam's left hand.
Sam looked at him as if he was really offended. "Dean, I know what right and left is! I'm not stupid." Dean almost laughed at Sam's serious face. He'd heard somewhere that you shouldn't laugh too much at children's way of looking at things, because to them it was only logical. But sometimes when Sam was really adorable explaining life through his eyes it was hard not to.
He couldn't quite bite back the grin, looking at his little brother now though. "I know you're not stupid, Sammy." He opened the door pushing Sam lightly outside, locked it and turned back to his brother.
Dean started walking holding out his hand, and Sam hurried to catch up with him and grabbed it in his.
His annoyance with Dean forgotten, he began looking at all the houses they passed. "See Dean, that house looks like it's hat's too big." The 'hat' meaning the roof. Dean had to admit that it made sense, but then again he had grown used to Sammy-speak a long time ago.
Dean walked Sam to his classroom, he was relieved that they were more than ten minutes early. It was a good thing because Dean wanted to make sure Sam was alright before he left him with strangers he had never met before, well except for his teacher and she had seemed alright. That didn't stop his big brother instincts from kicking into action though.
Dean thought Sam was starting to look a little nervous if the grip on his hand was any indication.
"Hey Sammy, you gonna be alright now?"
Sam looked up at him with a small smile, and nodded yes.
"I'll come pick you up when you finish, okay kid?"
"Okay, Dean." Sam was looking at something on the other side of the hall, but he seemed to be focus on just one point. On the other side there were pictures from all kinds of fairy tales, it was very well painted. Sam didn't seem to notice.
"Hey," Dean placed his hand on the side of Sam's face, making him look up into his eyes. "There's nothing to be nervous about, okay?
"I know, Dean." Sam leaned into his brother.
"Okay, kiddo." Dean smiled down at him, ruffling his hair. "Later you can tell me all about the things you did."
Sam looked happy at this. "Yeah!"
Dean could see Ms. Huntington approaching the classroom door. She was a nice lady and she seemed to have taken to Sam when they had met her for the first time.
"He's adorable," Ms Huntington told John.
Sam was holding Dean's hand tightly almost hiding behind Dean. He always got shy whenever they would meet people he had never seen before, which Dean was aware of.
"He can get a bit shy around strangers, he follows his brother everywhere though," John said looking at his sons.
"Hey there Sam, I'm going to be your teacher. I bet we'll have loads of fun, won't we?" Ms. Huntington smiled at Sam.
"Sammy, say hello to your teacher," John said roughly.
Dean glared at his father but didn't say anything. He just touched Sam's hair lightly and whispered something in his ear.
"Hi Ms. Huntington," Sam said, shyly. "I'm Sam," he said unnecessarily. Sam looked up at her with a shy smile and Dean could see how the teacher seemed to melt. Oh yeah, it was definitly those eyes of his.
"I like stories. Dean tells them to me, right Dean?" Sam looked up at him.
"That's right, Sammy," Dean laughed lightly.
"Well Sam, I'm sure you are going to be happy here."
Dean smiled at the memory. When Ms. Huntington came up to them he put his arm protectively around Sam.
"Hello Sam." Catherine Huntington smiled at Dean. "Hello Dean."
Dean nodded to her. "I just came to drop off Sam, it's out first day here."
She wasn't completely oblivious to the fierce protection that shone in his eyes while he looked at his little brother. "Sam's in good hands here," she said kindly. Catherine opened the door to the classroom while Sam said goodbye to his big brother, he then walked inside with his new teacher.
Sam wanted to suck in everything Ms. Huntington was saying. She had showed them a big chart of all the planets in space. For Sam it was the first time he got to learn about all the planets and the universe. Ms. Huntington had said that they were going to do a little project. Everyone were going to do a book about how the earth was created – The BIG BANG – stars and planets. It would be just like a real book, they would do a front cover – black for how the world was before BIG BANG. The contents would consist of things they were going to write themselves. About the planets, star and how suddenly there was the earth.
Ms. Huntington showed them the room where the book was made. In the end it would look all shiny in plast with spirals. It was going to be their little assignment for this week. Sam couldn't wait to get started and eventually show it to Dean.
Sam had been a little afraid that since he was new he was going to be a bit behind, and then the other kids would thing that he was weird. He was happy that everyone was starting the new assignment today, that meant that he knew as much as everyone else. The only time he had felt nervous was when some of the other kids had looked at him funny but he tried to concentrate on what his teacher was saying instead.
Today had just been an introduction but when they had looked at the pictures with so many stars Sam couldn't help thinking about how cool it would be like to actually have his own star.
The subject was math, and the teacher's voice couldn't be more boring. For an hour he had been going on about the same thing, it was enough for Dean to get a headache, and he could feel himself turning off. Staring at the girl in front of him served a better purpose at this very moment. Seriously, what was the point of learning math anyway? He would only forget it later, and it wasn't exactly as if he was going to need it for hunting either.
What a waste of time.
Dean's mind wondered over to Sam, he wondered if he was alright in this school. He hadn't been completely sure when he had leave Sam. It wasn't so much that he didn't trust Ms. Huntington, but he knew Sam. He knew Sam better than himself, and when he wasn't with Dean he could get extremely shy. Dean didn't want anyone taking advantage of that.
He snapped back to reality when he realized Mr. Jones was wrapping it up. "Keep up with the exercises people, I'm telling you this for your own good..." Dean didn't need to hear what he was about to tell the class, as far he was concerned exercises wasn't something he was planning on doing. Not now, and not later. He slipped away unnoticed avoiding the big crowd. Dean didn't feel like making any kind of small-talk right now.
It was almost three o'clock. One thing he had noticed was that his and Sam's schedule seemed to match. Sure they never had recess together, and they were almost at opposite ends of the building but they seemed to finish at the same time. And if they didn't there was the after school recreation center where he noticed younger kids seemed to hang. Dean didn't really fancy Sam staying at that center though, he silently thanked whoever that had put together their schedules. Maybe their dad had something to do with it, or someone else. It didn't really matter, but it sure was neat right now.
Dean almost crashed into the little blur that turned out to be his little brother, running to him.
"Dean!!" Sam jumped at his brother hugging him, overjoyed when Dean caught him and spinned him around.
"Missed me that much, huh, Sammy?" Dean cuffed his younger brother lightly around the neck, smirking. Truth be told, he had missed the little guy.
"Uh-huh," Sam said. "Guess what, Dean?" Sam was almost bouncing, slipping his hand into Dean's.
"What?" Dean turned to look into Sam's hazel eyes, shining with excitement.
"We are gonna do a project, Dean. About space! And the universe, and...and stars and planets!" Sam smiled up at Dean, looking as if this was the best news in a year.
"Wow, sounds like some project alright, kid." Dean almost laughed at Sam's euphoric state of happiness. If he wasn't mistaken, and when it came to Sam he seldom was, this was Sam's first real project. He could only guess what this week's topic would be about. But if it kept Sam happy he wasn't about to complain.
"Yeah!" Sam nodded vigorously. "We are gonna make a book about it. Ms. Huntington showed us. And then we are gonna plasiceze it..." Sam looked thoughtful.
"You mean plasticize?"
Sam nodded again. "It's gonna have spirals too, Dean."
Dean laughed. "That's great, Sammy."
They had reached one of the bigger intersections, Dean had to pull Sam back by his jacket to keep him from walking into the traffic. He could feel his heart starting to beat a little faster at the though of what could have happened.
"Sam, you have to stop at an intersection, you have got to watch out for the cars. You got me?"
"But...you're watching out for the cars, Dean." Sam regarded Dean with confusion, looking a bit taken aback.
"Yeah I am, but that doesn't mean that it's ok for you to be careless," Dean said reprovingly.
"I'm sorry, Dean," Sam said quietly. He sounded somewhat hurt which wasn't Dean's intention at all. He just didn't want Sam to get hurt. Ever.
"Sammy, I just want you to pay attention while we cross the road okay? Dean said. "Because some people drive like assholes."
"Okay, Dean," Sam answered without meeting his eyes, concentrating on the road instead.
"Hey..." Dean took Sam by the chin so he could look directly into his eyes. "I'm not mad, sometimes you just have to be careful. That's all."
Dean smirked. "If you say that one more time, you're going to get stuck on that, you know?"
Sam laughed lightly. "I know you have to stop at the intersection, I just...didn't see the cars." Sam looked ahead as if lost in thoughts.
"I know, you were just excited about your space project. It's okay." Dean smiled reassuringly at Sam.
"Yeah, it was fun to see so many stars. I like stars."
"You do, huh?" Dean put an arm around Sam as they approached the door to the apartment.
"Yup, they are pretty. And sparkly." Sam looked up at Dean with a little smile. He just knew something was coming now, something Sam wanted. He was looking at him with those big brown eyes, lips slightly pouting. Honestly, he'd like to find a person that could resist those puppy-dog eyes. It just wasn't possible.
"Dean..." Sam started. "I want to watch the stars tonight. Ms. Huntington said that if we watch careful maybe we can see a star shooting."
They walked inside, Dean locking the door before turning to Sam.
"A shooting star, Sammy?" Dean ruffled Sam's hair teasingly. Sam just wrinkled his nose, trying to get away. Dean laughed at Sam's face.
"Yeah, shooting star, that's what I said! Maybe we could go outside?" He looked at Dean hopefully.
"Tell you what, after dinner we'll see. But we're not going outside, kid." Dean looked at Sam with a warning look, leaving no room for arguments.
"Why not?" Sam looked at Dean questioningly.
"Because it's not safe, that's why. I'm not taking any chances with you. There's a big window in the tv-room, Sammy. We'll use that one."
Sam just looked doubtfully at Dean.
"If we turn out the lights it will be just like we are outside. You'll see," Dean said convincingly.
"But what if we don't see any stars!?" Sam stared at Dean worriedly.
"Don't worry, kiddo. We will." Dean looked at Sam's hopeful face, he seemed to have invested all his energy and interest into the stars. Dean didn't really know why Sam liked them so much but he still wanted to give this to Sam. Even if he didn't know whether they would see a falling star.
With no homework on the first day of school, Sam busied himself by looking through the book they had gotten. It was mostly just pictures, but Sam thought they looked pretty amazing. He had barely started reading when he heard Dean's voice.
"Sam! Dinner's ready."
Sam really wanted to read, but his hunger got the better of him so he went into the kitchen. After a moment he felt he had to ask Dean about dad. "Is dad gonna call tonight?" Sam hoped Dean would say that he would. He missed dad, even though he knew that what their dad was doing was something he had to do. That's what Dean had said anyway.
"I don't know, Sammy. Probably, but he might be very busy." Dean wanted to tell Sam that dad would call, that he was sure of it, but he didn't want Sam to get his hopes up just to be let down.
"I hope he will."
After dinner was finished, Sam waited a while before asking Dean when they would be able to look at the dark sky. He decided to go over to the couch to first have a look for himself to make sure they were there.
The black sky was veiled with so many stars, Sam never expected to see so many stars. It didn't even look anything like the stars in the picture, it was better. Much better. But there were still so many stars that it was impossible to count them. Sam tried at first but gave up when it seemed impossible. Instead he went over to Dean, he wanted Dean to see the stars too.
"Dean, are we gonna look at them now? Please, I wanna do it now!" Sam looked pleadingly at Dean.
"Okay, kiddo. We can watch the stars now," Dean told Sam, noting how his face split up in a big smile. He smiled at his little brother.
"Yes!" Sam did a victorious shout. "Come on, Dean. We have to do it now before they go to sleep."
That made Dean laugh. "They are going to be up all night, Sammy."
"We can't be sure," Sam said seriously. He then grabbed Dean's arm and pulled him to the window.
Dean turned out all the lights so that the tv-room bathed in almost total darkness. Sam climbed onto the couch standing on it, so he could get a better view. Dean settled down on his knees, with one arm around Sam's waist.
Sam was silently watching the full moon, taking in the big white ball wondering what was really up there. "Do you think dad can see the moon too? Sam turned to Dean, trying to see his eyes through the dark room.
"Yeah he might." Dean followed his younger brother's gaze and looked up at the moon. Of course Dean knew their dad would probably be too busy to look up at the moon or the stars. But Sam didn't know that and he seemed to be so happy just looking up at the sky.
"Do you think something's out there right now?" Sam suddenly asked. His eyes seemed to be glued to the window.
"Things. Evil things...that hurt people." Sam seemed to shiver slightly.
Dean wondered what exactly Sam was seeing out there in the dark, or if it was just a fear of darkness.
"Well..." Dean didn't want to lie to Sam. "There might be, but nothing is gonna get you," Dean assured him. "Nothing will happen to you while I'm here." He flashed him a confident smile and held onto Sam a little tighter.
"You promise?" Sam looked at him, big brown eyes turning to his. Even in the darkness Dean could detect the deep trust that seemed to shine through.
"I promise, Sammy."
Dean remembered when his dad told him about shooting stars. How he had known about them had amazed him, but when he'd learned that the knowledge had come from his mother he decided that he'd remember it forever. If nothing else he would share it with his little brother.
He never believed he'd see it tonight with Sam, even though a part of him hoped they would, if just for Sam. But there it was. Shooting stars. It wasn't really shooting stars though, those amazing streaks of light up in the black night sky. It was meteor showers, and it was caused by tiny bits of rocks and dust falling into the atmosphere and burning up.
"Sammy," he said. "Look at that, there's your shooting star." Dean looked at Sam.
"Wow," Sam said wide-eyed. It was all he seemed to be able to say, his mouth shaped like an 'o'.
It looked like fireworks, ripping into the serenity in the otherwise black sky.
"Do you think if it hit ground we could save it and put it in a fishy bowl or use it like a flashlight?!"
That thought had never even entered Dean's mind, but it did when he looked at Sam and into his innocent eyes. Was this why he wanted to see the stars so badly? Because he wanted one of his own.
It wasn't crazy, it was just Sam, and he wanted to catch a star. Now he had to break that dream Sam obviously had. His little brother was an adorable little thing, that he knew for sure. Dean felt the urge to protect the little guy from everything evil out there, to whatever was a threat but how do you protect someone from fantasies or dreams being shattered? True, it wasn't that big of a dream. But it was Sam's dream, and that made it all the difference in the world.
"Don't you think that would be cool, Dean? I wanna save it!"
"Well Sammy..." Dean really would give a lot to not have to tell his brother the truth this time. But he knew he'd just find out anyway. "The thing is, shooting stars aren't really shooting stars." He paused trying to detect a reaction from Sam. "They are just rocks that enter the atmosphere billion of years ago, they explode, and the light we see is just reaching us now."
Sam was quiet looking as if he was thinking really hard. "So... w-we can't c-catch them?" Sam looked at Dean as if he was about to cry. Those hazel eyes were shimmering threateningly.
"Sammy..." Dean tried to put his arms around him, but he had already run to their bedroom and slammed the door shut.
Dean carefully opened the door to their shared bedroom. He could see that books had been thrown all around Sam's bed and now they were scattered on the floor.
Sam was lying on his stomach, his head buried into his pillow. He was hugging it tightly. Dean sat down gingerly on the edge of Sam's bed, one hand rubbing his back carefully.
"Sam, Sammy...come on." Dean could feel Sam tensing under his touch. "Will you at least look at me?"
"Go away. I wanna be alone," Sam mumbled into the pillow. His voice was so quiet, but Dean could still hear him. He'd hear Sam's voice anywhere.
"Nuh-uh, princess. I'm not going anywhere until you tell me what's going on." Dean knew that Sam wanted to tell him about all the things he was thinking about, or maybe just bomb him with questions. But he also knew that sometimes Sam was too damn stubborn for his own good. It wasn't that surprising though. Being stubborn was definitely a Winchester streak, that much he knew.
Sam finally turned around, staring accusingly at Dean. "You should have told me."
Dean looked into Sam's eyes, sparkling from tears. "Told you what?"
"That stars are just stupid rocks." Sam looked away.
Dean would have laughed if Sam hadn't been so upset." Don't you think it's kind of cool that they are like small explosions?"
"No. They are stupid." Dean could see one lone tear made its way down Sam's cheek, he wiped it away with his thumb. "Sammy, what did you think that they were?"
Sam sighed heavily before speaking in almost a whisper. "I thought that...that when Ms. Huntington said that they were gonna fall we could...we c-could c-catch them."
Dean decided that he didn't like Catherine Huntington that much anymore. He hugged Sam close, so he rested his head against his chest.
"They were pretty. I wanted one so that...there would always be light in the dark. But they are just stupid rocks..."
Dean carefully chose his next words. "Sam, stars aren't just rocks..."
"But you said..." Sam interrupted.
"Let me finish. Mom was like a star, she was brave and she was beautiful..."
Sam looked at his brother with confusion written on his face. "But mommy wasn't a rock, Dean."
Dean smiled quietly. "No, but Sammy, all stars aren't rocks. Mom was a star because she was the best at something, that's also a star."
"So," Sam said, looking at Dean with a happy smile. "She was like a hero?"
Dean didn't know how to answer that but looking at Sam he felt like he had to, since he seemed to really value his answer.
"I think she was, Sammy."
"I think so too," Sam said, leaning against Dean, who had by now crawled into Sam's bed. "Was mommy pretty like a star too?"
Dean just smiled into Sam's hair. "She was like the Sirius one."
"What's Sirius?" Sam tried to look up into Dean's eyes, searching for an answer in them.
"It's the brightest star in the sky," Dean answered.
"Wow," was all Sam could say. His eyes were alight with that excitement again, and Dean was glad that Sam was happy again.
Darkness was covering everything like a heavy blanket. Deep shadows fell over the misty place, but there was nothing but silence.
Sam didn't know where he was. How did he even get here? A sound of shuffling broke the silence, coming closer, it was too close. Sam could feel himself shiver. Where was everybody? "Dean?" he whispered.
Starting to look around, he tried to see in the darkness. Dark shapes seemed to be looming around. Or was that trees he could see? Sam didn't know, he didn't want to know.
"DEAN!!" Sam screamed, unable to hide the fear in his voice. If he could find Dean it would be okay, he would make it okay again just like he always did. But there was no answer, just a deep silence. It was almost worse than the penetrating darkness. When Sam started to look around, taking in the surroundings, he was sure he could see the dark green colour of a forest. But that didn't make any sense, why was he in a forest in the middle of the night?
Something was definitely shifting, shifting to get closer to whatever its goal was.
Carefully, Sam tried to feel with his hands in front of him, deciding hiding was the best alternative right now. He stepped behind what seemed to be a great bush. It was a very large bush as far as he could tell, the branches were covering a vast amount of space. Sam let out a sigh. As long as he stayed hidden it would be okay. At least for now.
Then, without a warning there was a piercing scream rattling the silence. It sounded as if someone was really in a lot of pain. Sam couldn't help the creeping feeling of dread that was slowly filling him. If he had been brave like Dean or his daddy he would have helped the woman. But he couldn't. He could barely move from where he was crouched behind the bush, shielding him. Trying to peer through the murky branches, Sam could see something pinning the woman down. It looked like something made of metal, it looked like a metal bar. But that couldn't be right, could it? Her screams had died out, and now all that could be heard was her sorrowful sobs.
Sam made up his mind. If there was no one else around, he had to help her. Even if it left him shaking like a leaf, with a fear he'd never known before. He couldn't see anything from where he was standing so he moved forwards, through the darkened forest and to its very heart. When Sam approached the woman the first thing that crossed his mind was that she was beautiful.
Her eyes locked on his the moment she could see him.
Sam tried to reach for the metal that was stuck inside of her, trying to pull it out. On the second attempt he succeeded, looking at her more carefully than before.
"Sam..." she whispered, touching his cheek. Her eyes looked so green, he wanted to look into them forever. Just as he began to realize why she seemed so familiar he noticed something.
There wasn't any blood where the metal had been. There wasn't even a trace of a wound.
When Sam looked up from her eyes he noticed that it was colder, much colder. A man stepped in front of him, towering over him with a snarl. And then, the woman he had spent so many nights trying to memorize, looking at all the pictures of his mom, stood up. But when he turned he suddenly felt like his head was on fire, burning. Mary looked devastated trying to reach for her son, but the man standing before them stared at her with cold gaze. Dark-green clouds were forming in her eyes, as she stood in front of her son.
Cold laughter filled the now cold night, and Mary started to fade. Sam wanted to scream, but he couldn't see through the pain. Through his tears of pain he could see the man's eyes. They were as yellow as the fire, burning like the pain in his head.
could feel himself falling. The echoes of darkness went on and on and
on, capturing him in a place of anguish, horror and complete
darkness. He wanted it to end, he didn't want to be there.
"Nooo!" Sam gasped, sitting up straight. Breathing heavily he tried to remember where he was. In the darkness he could see those yellow eyes, burning like the most terrible fire Sam had ever seen. He could see his mother clearly, how she was screaming for him but then fading away to nothing. He'd wanted her to stay.
The one thing that could sometimes make him jealous was the memories Dean and his dad had of her. Sam wanted to have memories like that too. Even if Dean would tell him stories about her it just wasn't the same. He had wanted to hold on to the dream even if it was painful, just so he could get close to his mom. Sam knew she was up there somewhere, watching over them. He wanted to believe she was their guard.
A memory suddenly came back to him, Sam remembered when they had stayed with Pastor Jim. It had only been a year ago, or maybe it had been two years ago. Sam couldn't remember.
His dad had been talking to Pastor Jim for over an hour and Sam wanted to see what they were talking about. Only when he and Dean had entered they stopped talking.
"Pastor Jim? Can you tell me something?" Sam asked seriously. He knew this wasn't a joking matter. Pastor Jim was apparently the best at this.
"Depends on what it is." He winked at him, and Sam didn't feel the need to hold onto Dean so tightly anymore.
"Um...what's God? Sam had heard the people on the television mention "God", but he didn't know what it was. Here was his chance to really find out. His dad looked at him, surprised. But he didn't say anything.
"Well..." Jim started. "God is sort of like the biggest angel there is. He lives in a place up there in the sky," he pointed his finger in an "up-sign", "called heaven."
"But...can he do anything?
"He watches over us, His job is making sure that we are all okay." Pastor Jim gave Sam a smile.
"So..." Sam said thoughtfully. "He's like Dean."
Pastor Jim seemed to think that was amusing, which Sam couldn't quite understand. This was serious. People said it was and he was sure they were right.
"Dean do all that, he takes care of me too." He looked at Dean who was wearing a funny expression.
"I'm sure he does. But God takes care of the whole world."
"Oh..." Sam though he finally understood it now. "So God is like...a big brother to everyone?"
"Sammy..." Dean ruffled his hair, looking as if he wanted to hug him. Sam wondered why.
"Something like that," Pastor Jim said sharing a look with his dad.
Sam didn't care what they said, he knew for sure that Dean was his guard - and was the only thing he needed to know.
his mom was their guard up in the sky, Dean was his guard only on
earth, but if Sam really thought about it Dean was more like a hero.
That made more sense. More importantly Dean was Sam's hero. He
could make everything un-scary and Sam was pretty sure that God
couldn't do that.
When he looked beside him he could hear his brother's steady breathing, he was fast asleep. Sam had tried to close his eyes and go to sleep, but he couldn't get all those pictures out of his head. Yellow eyes seemed to chase him everytime he closed his eyes. Opening them, he could sense the thick darkness, more than seeing it. It was almost like a big black cloud that was sleeping with them. The monsters seemed to like it, but Sam felt like he was suffocating when he saw them next to his bed. They looked like creatures, vile animals sneering at him. Sam didn't want them to be there, he wanted them to go away.
Casting a glance at his brother's bed, he got up. The creature by the door regarded him evilly. Sam just wanted to scream. The monsters would attack him if he didn't get to Dean any time soon. In every shadow there was something lurking, he was sure of it.
"Dean..." he whispered, so no one would hear him except his brother.
When he didn't get a reply he tried to speak a little louder. "Dean, please wake up!!"
"Uh," Dean grunted, rubbing the sleep out of his eyes with one hand. When he was somewhat awake he took in Sam's frightened appearance, eyes darting around the room fearfully. Dean touched Sam's arm gently. "Sammy, what is it?"
Sam looked down fingering at something on his pyjama, not lifting his gaze. Dean had to take hold of his chin to make him look up at him, and into his eyes. He was surprised to find the sparkle of tears in them.
"Dean..." he started.
"Yeah, buddy." Dean waited patiently for Sam to tell him what the problem was. He suspected it was a bad dream, but no dream had affected him like this. At least not since a long time ago.
Sam seemed to take a deep breath before starting. "I had a n-nightmare. I saw m-mom Dean and then there was a b-bad man and he had yellow eyes and he made my head hurt," Sam said in such a rush, that Dean almost had trouble to keep up. Almost. "And...now there are monsters by my bed. They won't go away, Dean." Sam shivered slightly, looking at Dean with brown liquid eyes. He couldn't ignore those eyes, reaching for him.
"Sammy, take it easy kiddo," Dean said soothingly. He made room for Sam in his bed, lifting the covers. "C'mere." Sam didn't need another invitation, he climbed in, snuggling against Dean using his shoulder as a pillow. Dean wrapped his arm around his little brother, his body heat chasing away the chill from the little boy's body.
Face buried in his brother's shirt, Sam's hand reached for Dean's shirt, holding on tightly. His shoulders were shaking dangerously, and Dean knew he was crying. It sounded like the sobs were so full of anguish and pain, that Dean felt his heart ache for his baby brother.
Shhh, it's okay Sammy." He pushed one hand through Sam's soft hair, trying to calm him down. Sam only curled himself into a tight ball in his arms. "Hey," Dean said. "It's alright. You're okay, Sam. Nothing's gonna get you."
"I'm scared..." Sam whispered, so quietly Dean barely heard him.
"What are you scared of?"
"The monsters are gonna get me, I know it." Sam sounded devastated at the thought.
"They won't. You're safe with me," Dean promised.
"I won't let anything happen to you, kiddo. And no monsters are gonna get you on my watch. Alright?" Dean needed to make sure that Sam knew that he would never let anything come near his brother. He flashed a confident smile when Sam looked up at him.
"Uh-huh," Sam said, relaxing slightly. He fell silent, still thinking about the dream.
"I saved mommy in my dream, Dean," Sam said suddenly.
"You did?" Dean brushed Sam's hair away from his forehead so he could see his eyes.
"Yeah, even though I was afraid," Sam whispered, a little bit of pride shining through. "But that bad man hurt my head..."
"I know, but you were really brave...and it was just a dream." Dean pressed his lips against Sam's hair. "You're safe now."
Dean found it weird that Sam dreamed about their mom, and then a man with yellow eyes. He knew it could very well be a nightmare, just like those monsters were triggered by Sam's fear. But a part of him couldn't help wondering if this was more than a nightmare. He silently made a promise to himself that he wouldn't let Sam out of his sight. His dad always let him know that it was better to be safe than sorry.
"Hey Dean..." Sam said. When there was no reply he started whispering. "Are you asleep?"
Dean smiled. "No, Sammy. What is it?"
"Do you think, I mean, could you...?" Sam didn't know how to say it. What if Dean wouldn't wanna do it? What if he...
"Sam, just spit it out. You're killing me here." Dean's voice broke through his train of thoughts.
"Can you help me with my space project?" Sam whispered it so fast, Dean had to think for a minute. Then he almost laughed. "Of course I will. Now go to sleep, Sammy. It's late."
Silence filled the room. Sam contemplated if he should go to sleep or tell Dean what he had been thinking of ever since he woke up from that terrible nightmare.
"What?" Dean tried to be patient for Sam, now that he had finally calmed down.
"You wanna know a secret..." Sam asked quietly. He started tugging on Dean's shirt unconsciously.
"Sure, buddy." Dean smiled, tightening his hold around Sam to show it was okay to tell him what he obviously wanted to say.
"You said mom was a star. But..."
"But what?" Dean asked gently.
"You're my star," Sam whispered into Dean's shirt.
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