Unrequited Love
By Hoogiman

Chapter Six
Roy and Samus

Samus, full of rage and anger, violently clipped her fingernails, lashing the nails metres away as she pulled them off. Still full of rage, she crushed several oranges with her bare fists, posted some angry messages on the 'Falco Fan Club' message board, crushed several cats with her bare hands and then hired professional hackers to vandalise Falco's homepage.

Roy, being the gentleman he was elegantly walked into Samus's room and sat down next to her. In an overly sweet 'as if he were talking to a child' voice, he said, "Aww… is Samus angry? I can cheer you up!"

"Can't you see… this is not the time?" said Samus angrily, pointing to the siren going off on the 'Samus Anger Meter' on her wall.

"Well I wrote a lovely Altean poem for you, if that will cheer you up," said Roy, grinning. "And it has an accompanying song!"

Roy picked up a guitar, strummed a 'G' and hummed along with it in his sweet voice.

"Not the time!" said Samus, hiring professional hackers to hack the 'Roy Fan Club Website'.

"Aww… why is the Samus sad?" said Roy, still teasing, "Is he…"

"She!" said Samus angrily.

"Sometimes I forget that," said Roy, stroking the part of Samus's suit at the biceps. "You're so strong! And cute too!"

Samus punched Roy in the face, "Am I cute now?"

"Y- yees," said Roy, passing out.

Samus walked over to Falco's room and invited herself in.

"H- Hi Falco!" said Samus.

"Hi," said Falco angrily, posting angry messages on the 'Link Fan Forums'.

"I'm angry at someone too!" said Samus angrily, "And that's you!"

"Why's that?" said Falco.

"I… I can't think of a way to say this…" said Samus, "It's really… really hard to kind of talk about… it's a bit uncomfortable saying this…"

Falco walked out of the room.

"But I just need to tell you the right words…" said Samus, "What I've really trying to tell you, and I'm not sure if you knew this before or not but…"

Roy walked in, and sat on the chair.

"I love you so much! I really do! You are the love of my life!" said Samus, finally blurting it out.

"Really?" said Roy, whose eyes were literally turning into love hearts.

"No!" said Samus, punching Roy in the face, still surprised that Roy answered.

Samus walked out, and angrily stormed into Link's room.

"I just wanted to say…" said Falco, trying to think of the right words, "I really think we have something and…"

Samus poured a bucket of fish over Falco's head.

"Well Falco," said Link, "I was going to say I loved you too, but I can't now that you have all of that fish all over your head! So I guess I don't love you then!"

Falco broke into tears.

"It's going to be alright!" said Samus, stroking Falco's abs.

"You ruined my chances of true love!" said Falco, sobbing.

"Well Falco, I've actually been meaning to tell you something…" said Samus, "It's a bit hard to say… but… I- I love you!"

"But I don't love you!" said Falco.

"Well… I'm going to have to hurt you then!" said Samus angrily. "Until… you love me!"

"I'm not going to!" said Falco angrily.

"Well, if you breathe, you love me!" said Samus, acting like an angry eight year old.

Falco did not breathe.

"Oh yeah? Well if I can see you in three seconds, you love me!" said Samus, sticking her tongue out.

Bowser fell through the ceiling of the third floor, collecting Falco, breaking the second storey floor and landing on the ground.

"I hate this game," said Samus.

The End

Disclaimer: The Super Smash Brothers characters are the property of Nintendo.