The morning, Eddy approached Double D. He was forced to put Bowser's plan in motion. "Uh, hey, Double D. I heard the lagoon is really nice right now...

"Let me guess. You want to set up a scam there?"

"No," said Eddy, "I just wanted to take a walk with you and Nazz."

Double D was surprised. "Nazz? Well, alright. My, this is unexpected."

Eddy was about to tell Double D that the whole lagoon thing was really a plot set up by Bowser. But as he started, he noticed Jr and Wario watching him from a hiding place outside. Eddy wisely stopped.

Soon he, Double D, and Nazz started walking. "The lagoon is gonna be awesome!" cheered Nazz.

Ezra watched them from the camp. "Stupid shipping. It's all, 'they're so cute together, I wanna see them get married! Blah, blah, blah.'"

"Hey," Phineas argued, "they ARE cute."

"Shut up." Ezra flew over to the others. "Kids! Let's do something fun! Like a panty raid!"

Jason backed up. "Uh...we have a deck of cards."

"Good enough!" they went outside and Ezra began throwing off rules rapidly. "Okay, here's the rules. You draw an odd number, you have to take off a clothing item of someone next to you, you draw an even and you have to take off the clothes of someone across from you. You draw a face card, you have to take off the clothes of a random person walking by. You draw an ace and you take off your own clothes."

"What kind of game is that?!" exclaimed Hobbes.

"An excuse to get naked," said Gus.

Calvin scooted away. "I'm not sitting by you."

"Ed, you draw first," said Ezra.

Ed drew a card. "It is a man with an axe!"

"Ooh, face card," smiled Phineas. "Who should know...?"

Ezra lit up and pointed to across the street. "There's a hot chick walking down there, twentysometing, pretty good. Go for it, Ed."

Eagerly, Ed bounded across the street towards the woman. Suddenly, the sky turned dark red. Out of the ground in front of the group of friends rose Bowser!

"Bowser?!" gasped Marcus.

"Please don't invite him to play," said Hobbes. "The last thing I need to see is a Koopa without its shell."

"Miss me?!" roared Bowser.

"No," said Jason.

"That was rectorial!"

A scream was heard. From across the street, Ed was slapped by the lady. He flew over and hit Bowser. Angrily, the Koopa threw the boy off of him. "Well, there goes the dramatic entrance!" He zapped Ed, who disappeared.

"Ed!" cried Hobbes.

"You'll see him soon," sneered Bowser.

Ezra and the two other ghosts flew at Bowser. "Stand back, kids! We'll take care of this fat tub of..."

Bowser simply blasted them against the camp building.

"Maybe we should have stayed genies..." whispered a smokey Phineas.

"Music, please," Bowser grinned as the world suddenly went dark. A lone spotlight shone on him as he began a monologue he obviously planned. "You've made it to the last level of the last world of the game. A pair of huge doors stands before you. You know the final boss is behind them. There's no save block, you're low on health, and you've got no power-ups. It's your last life and you know that you're going to get a game over. No turning back now. For you, this is where the system gets turned off...forever."

(To the tune of "Second Rate")

Bowser: I must admit

You're good for comic relief, boys

But after that, there's not much that you can do

'Cause the end of the game

Is getting quite near

It's the final stage

And in that

You will all face my rage

I've got a fire breath that packs a punch

Though you try and stop me, I'll have you for lunch

It's too easy for me

It wouldn't be a loss

You'll never beat this boss

You're just a bunch of kids

Or else you're kids at heart

That isn't gonna save you

Though you've got the smarts

If you were to vanish, it's quite sad, of course

You'll never beat the boss

My paws have super claws

My feet could squash you

My scales will not flail

From your attacks

But if you're not convinced

That I'm invincible

Cross my fortress maze

Isn't it obvious that I am crazed?

Go ahead and use all your fancy cheat codes

You'll still be a dead thing sticking to the road

It's like pigeons fighting an albatross

You'll never beat this boss

You know, it's funny that you try this hard

If I poke you, you fall apart like glass shards

So I will say again when our paths do cross

You'll never beat this boss

You know the last level's always the worst

Though it's obvious that my song was rehearsed

You are soft as moss and you'll lose at all costs

I'll spread you all across potato chips like sauce

You're about as useless as a piece of floss

You'll never beat this boss!

Throughout the song, Bowser tormented the kids in various ways. Fireballs flew through the air. Spikes rose out of the ground. Thwomps tumbled out of nowhere. Cages formed out of thin air. Chain Chomps chased everyone. When it ended, the dazed kids found themselves sitting in a dungeon-like room, chained to the wall. The Hitchhiking Ghosts sat nearby, trapped in a transparent sphere.

Ed had appeared there as well. "My friends! We are reunited and doomed together! Awesome!"

"Ya know," growled Ezra, "there's not a lot of LEG ROOM in here!"

"Guess where my hand is..." Gus said softly with a disturbingly huge smile.

"Where are we?" asked Calvin.

Using his powers, Bowser changed the lighting of the room to neon and made fog rise from the ground. He bellowed in a deep voice: "The Mysterious Doomed Pit of Mystery and Doom!"

"We're in a room under the camp," said Wario.

Bowser glared at him and made the neon colors and fog disappear. "Why does everyone ruin my moments?!"

"Just saying," shrugged Wario.

"What did I miss?" asked Ed.

"A villain song," replied Calvin.

Ed's eyes grew wide. "You sang without me?"

"I'll do a reprise later," promised Bowser. He called Jr. "Status report, Jr!"

Jr zipped up to him with a little clipboard. "We've managed to round up almost everyone at camp. Double D and Nazz are at the lagoon right now."

"Great!" Bowser turned to the captive kids. "You guys are gonna love this." The Koopa made a movie screen appear that showed Double D, Nazz, and Eddy walking to the lagoon...


"This place is beautiful," said Nazz when they arrived.

Double D nodded. "It was certainly a good idea to come here, Eddy."

"Oh," Eddy tried to look away. "Uh, thanks..."

"Yes," said Double D, "what a day!"


Back in the dungeon, Bowser was dancing for Ed. "You'll never beat this boss!"

"Yay!" clapped Ed.

The others rolled their eyes and continued watching the screen.


Nazz pointed to the water. "Look, ducks!"

"No, Nazz," corrected Double D. "Those are geese, and they're not the friendliest of all birds."

Suddenly, several shadows fell across the sky. From out of nowhere swept the seven other Koopalings riding on mini-clown copters.

"What are those?!" cried Nazz.

Double D had to think of a lie fast. "Um, angry geese?"

Nazz ducked as Wendy swooped down and blasted at them with her wand, leaving a large crater. "You weren't kidding!"

Double D scanned the lagoon for Eddy, but he had vanished. Obviously, thought Double D, he was captured by the Koopas. For the moment, however, he had to worry about himself.

The seven Koopalings swarmed around Double D, each one trying to grab him. The poor boy found himself in a mess of Koopa claws, being crushed between the clown copters.

Wendy Koopa noticed Nazz running for it. "You idiots! One of them's getting away!"

"I'll get her!" volunteered Morton, taking off after her,

Nazz ran across a stone bridge, being chased by Morton in the air. The talkative Koopaling was babbling, like always. "Don't try to evade, elude, escape! I'll capture, grab, kidnap you with ease!"

Double D managed to slip through the grasps of the Koopalings and ran for Nazz while the reptiles tried to regroup. He didn't know where Eddy was supposedly being held, but he could at least save her! He managed to grab hold of the copter Morton was in. Climbing up, he and Morton began to shove each other around for the controls. The Koopaling reached for a fire flower, but lost balance and fell out. Double D couldn't stop the copter in time, crashing into Nazz. The two kids toppled into the lagoon.

With evil grins, the Koopalings all stood on the edge of the lagoon. That was it. They just stood there. Double D and Nazz looked at each other in confusion. Something under them rumbled. Out rose a submarine driven by Ludwig Von Koopa. It all made sense now. A claw reached out and grabbed Nazz.

"Climb aboard, everyone!" announced Ludwig, followed by a long laugh. Cackling along with him, the other Koopalings swarmed onto the sub, covering up Double D.

Double D pushed through the Koopa hoards, expecting to be caught. Instead, they all climbed into their sub and shut the hatch behind them. Confused, Double D sat on the submarine as it slowly submerged again. Then, he found himself standing on the lagoon's shallow floor. Where did the sub go? he wondered.

Perhaps it was magic. Perhaps not. Still confused, Double D walked out of the lagoon, which turned to a run. He had to get back to camp! But it would take him twenty minutes to get there, at the least.


Bowser laughed at the screen, watching Double D. "Go ahead and run! It won't do you any good! You'll just meet your doom!"

"I don't get it," said Jason. "Why didn't you get Double D?"

"BECAUSE HE'S THE ONE WHO PUT ME IN THIS LAMP IN THE FIRST PLACE!" roared Bowser. "I want my revenge to be BIG!"

Wario raised his hand. "Can I change the channel on this thing? I wanna see what Waluigi is doing right now."

On the screen, Waluigi was walking down the street when Hooktail flew out of the sky. "AAAAAHHHHHH! HOOKTAIL!"

"Heh, heh," laughed Wario. "Funny."

Bowser turned to Edyd, who was walking in. "And here's the kid of the hour! Or minute. Or something. Eddy!"

"As payment for luring the kids, here's a coin," said Jr, who then laughed. "Too bad you won't have anyone to scam after we're done!"

Eddy just sighed.

"Eddy?!" gasped Marcus.

"How are you surprised?!" shouted Ezra. "He's been the villain, like, ten times already!"

Bowser zapped the orb. The Hitchhikers kept talking, but no sound came out. The Koopa just smiled. "Mute magic. Being a genie has its perks."

"Can you do the standard villain thing and tell us your plot?" asked Calvin.

Bowser headed out the door. "You'll all find out in a second..."

"I'm thrilled with anticipation," grumbled Hobbes.