Understandably, anyone who knew them well would have said that the first Titans team was the most incestuous. Someone who knew the members well would have known that Donna had dated all the boys on the team at one time, including Dick and Garth, not just Roy and Wally, and they would have known that Dick and Roy had a thing, and so had Dick and Garth – well, more like a one night stand in the last case.
Anyone who knew them well would have argued that the second Titans team was only so incestuous because all the members of the original team were there. Everyone in the superhero community knew about Dick and Kory's relationship, if not their aborted wedding. Very few people knew about Dick's fling with Joey while Kory was married to Karras, or that Roy and Kory had slept together a few times between relationships. Almost no one knew about the few dates that Wally and Raven had gone on. A few more people knew that Donna had dated Kory while they were both working in the fashion industry, but Kory and Raven's relationship had been kept close to the vest, at the latter's request.
Gar and Vic were a pretty open secret, at least after Gar and Terra's relationship had ended. Only people who knew them well would have known that, after the first year, it was actually Gar, Vic and Raven.
Incestuous was almost not a strong enough word to describe the original Titans. But the third Titans team…well, Robin the third had reason to know that they were, in fact, the most incestuous.
Well, 'they' meaning the third Titans' team, the younger Batclan heroes, and the female former members of Young Justice. While the original Titans' intermixing of relationships had happened often, one relationship had always ended before another began. In the new team's case…they liked to share.
It was the only way to keep up with their overactive libidos.
It had all started in Young Justice, with Cassie's crush on Kon. And Kon's crush on Tim, which was returned, before Kon started feeling the same way about Cassie. Then Kon and Tim had their fight on Apokalips, and that was when Kon and Cassie really got together.
Of course, that had taken months, and Cassie was understandably frustrated. Not just sexually, but that was a large part of it. Also, she was upset that her best friend had it easier than her, and told Cissie so.
Cissie had had sort of a thing with Anita since they'd met, and while they weren't really together, they weren't really not. It was just that Cassie was Cissie's best friend, and there was still lingering tension – not sexual – between her and Anita.
Anita was a pragmatic girl. "I don't mind sharing, mon – as long as I can get in on the Amazonian action."
Cissie was a little shocked, but more by Anita's leer than her words. Cassie was too upset to be shocked, and just upset enough to agree. Later, she was extremely glad she had.
Understandably, Kon and Tim were both put out that they were left to contend with Bart, who hadn't quite hit puberty. "I don't understand why everyone is spending so much time making out!" he proclaimed. They escaped to Gotham, where Robin ran into Spoiler and discovered that since she'd been feeling ignored whenever she flirted with Tim lately, she'd hooked up with Batgirl.
Tim had been understandably…befuddled. Kon had been the one to use his brain, and pointed out, "Well, Cass isn't currently here, so would ya like to share?"
Steph pulled off her cowl, grinned, and agreed.
Things had heated up so quickly that later, Tim would reflect that he actually had lost his virginity, since he couldn't remember if his first time – of many – was with Kon or Steph. He finally decided that it didn't matter, since he could barely keep track of who he'd had sex with, let alone in what order, or how many times. Compared to him, Dick had it easy.
Anita seemed to make it her personal mission to become a part of as many threesomes as possible. After she'd had Cissie and Cassie, she convinced Cassie to share Kon. Then she convinced Tim to do the same, though unfortunately, she didn't get a chance to get a complete set of YJ threesomes (well, near-complete; no one wanted to contemplate sex with Slobo) under her belt before their mission to Zandia.
Things had sort of tapered off once Young Justice disbanded. Cassie and Cissie roomed together at Elias, with Greta down the hall. While Cassie pined for Kon, Cissie got together with Greta. When Cassie got frustrated enough that she was crunching ice all day long (which, folk tales aside, didn't actually help with sexual frustration), Cissie convinced her to fly them all down to Anita's for a slumber party, on a night when Agent Maad was watching her parents.
The party, somewhat predictably, turned into a mini-orgy. Thankfully Traya wasn't there.
Cassie was still upset over Kon, but was no longer pining. Greta proved to be a lewd minx in bed, and Cassie was a bit tweaked that she seemed to know Cissie's body better than she did, and so when the Titans recruited her, she was understandably…still tense.
Kon was a great tension reliever. Tim had been extremely glad to find him still amenable to helping him out, because Steph and Cass were back together, and his hormones were raging.
After he became Kid Flash, so were Bart's. That was something Tim was pleasantly surprised to find out one weekend when Cassie was monopolizing Kon's time. Kon, however, demanded his share, and though Cassie huffed, she only said, "Next weekend, I'm bringing Cissie by."
She did, along with Greta. Kon had an hour with Bart before Cassie hauled him off. Tim got to know Cissie better. Bart had proved to be a more than quick study in bed, and when he and Greta found themselves at loose ends…well, no one else in the Tower saw them for the rest of the weekend.
Despite the fact that the rather sticky evidence proved that Bart and Greta been in every room at least once. The sticky evidence, and a whole bunch of marked pages in the Tower Library's copy of the Kama Sutra. Cissie almost gave herself a hernia from laughing when Greta winced the entire flight home; she could barely walk from Cassie and Cissie's room to her own. Greta was extremely peeved when she woke up Monday morning to find out it was actually Tuesday; she'd missed her trigonometry test.
Cassie felt a little better about Greta having more tricks in bed than her, since she had Amazonian stamina. Cissie, however, was peeved she hadn't gotten a chance at Bart.
"I could bring you back next weekend," Cassie offered. Cissie had a better idea, and invited Bart over Wednesday after school. Needless to say, Cassie was unable to stay away. Greta managed to restrain herself to just having sex with the girls, however.
Meanwhile, Tim was enjoying the same thing in Gotham. Cass had finally decided she wanted to know what all the fuss about cocks was; patrols had kept getting cut short the entire week, because she wanted to 'raise' the fuss on her own.
Steph teasingly demanded her turn, and the two tussled over him every night that week. Tim started to wonder if he should order Viagra. If he didn't…well, at least he'd die a happy man.
Kon wasn't happy, however. "I haven't gotten any since last weekend," he complained at the next Titans' gathering. Bart immediately offered him a quickie, which put him in a better mood for a few hours. Seeing the new tightness between Cassie and Cissie, though, made him nostalgic for the days when Cassie had eyes only – well, mostly – for him.
Tim had sighed, kept quiet over the fact that actually, Cissie had been with Bart, and he'd been keeping Cassie occupied, and tugged Kon into a broom closet for a quick grope. After giving him a blowjob, he pointed out that Anita couldn't exactly make it down to the Tower on her own. Kon brightened up – he'd only gotten a chance to sleep with Anita once – and then, a sly look on his face, said, "Neither can Spoiler and Batgirl, Wonder Boy."
Tim conceded the point.
Which is how they ended up where they were. April 6th, with Steph, Cass, Cissie, Greta and Anita all having a girls' night in Cassie's room, and Tim, Kon and Bart left to fend for themselves. Coincidentally, they decided to fend for themselves in the security room, well-stocked with chips, soda and live feeds to every Titans' room.
"I say we do a panty raid," was Kon's suggestion. He wiggled his eyebrows in a parody of the horizontal mambo. "We don't give the girls their undies back until they…you know…pay for 'em."
"That sounds too much like blackmail for me," Tim argued, even though he was sure, what with there being six of them, even though only two of them had powers, that the girls could kick their asses if they didn't like the idea. The idea didn't sit well with him, however.
"Or prostitution," Bart added. He buzzed back and forth from the security room to the door every five seconds, checking to make sure none of the older Titans found them out. "And I'm pretty sure that while Wally would yell at me for being promiscuous, despite having safe sex, if he found out that I let the girls pay me to have sex with them, he'd stroke out."
Boggled by the fact that Bart hadn't meant that the girls would be the pseudo prostitutes, Tim said, "I would have thought you'd like that."
Bart frowned at his oft-times lover. "I don't like Wally, but the world needs the Flash. And I'm not ready to take on the mantle."
"I'd like to taken on her mantle," Kon said, leering at Cissie's barely-covered breasts. She was wearing what used to be a T-shirt – before she'd shrunk it in the wash, cut off the sleeves and collar, and removed the bottom until it barely came down to the bottom curve of her breasts. She was also leaning forward to talk to Stephanie, and her cleavage was displayed prominently on the monitor.
"We could just knock on the door and ask to join the party," was Tim's suggestion.
Bart paused for a whole half-second in one of his 'security runs.' "I like that idea. But, uh, what if all of them being together means that they'll…I don't know…decide it's weird." At their blank looks, he elaborated, "You know, basically having an orgy."
Tim coughed. Kon wheezed.
Bart sighed, and put his hand son his hips. "Well, it would be, wouldn't it? I mean, I don't think there's every been more than three of us together before, but this would make nine of us, and I don't think it counts as partner-swapping when none of us are technically in committed pairs."
Kon blinked. Somehow, he'd missed noticing the number was so high. Before he could say anything, though, Tim made a strangled noise. They'd turned to find him staring transfixedly at the screen. Both Kon and Bart almost missed his words for the luscious lesbian action taking place before them in HDTV full color surround sound.
"I don't think they'd find it weird," Tim said, mouth dry, and it was an understatement of the highest caliber.
Bart didn't even wait for Tim to finish his sentence before he caught them both up, swung by his room for his extremely large supply of condoms and lubricant, and them zoomed off to deposit them all on Cassie's doorstep.
Kon managed to beat him to knocking, however. Understandably, it took a few minutes before it was answered.
"Who is it?" Cassie asked through the closed door, and none of the boys were surprised to hear that she was slightly out of breath.
"It's us," Tim said, almost dropping the bag of prophylactics in his arms. "May we…er…join you ladies?" Despite how Anita kept trying to teach him how to talk dirty (Bart, strangely enough, was her best pupil in that area), he just couldn't manage it without blushing.
The door was almost immediately yanked open, and Anita and Cass stood there in their nude glory, skin sheened lightly with sweat, predatory looks on their faces. They both latched onto one of Kon's arms and pulled him inside. Bart got similar treatment from Cassie and Cissie.
Tim was left staring in blushing befuddlement at a disheveled Steph, panting like when she came down from an orgasm, and Greta, who was using some sort of buzzing, silver phallic-shaped thing between her legs and crooning pleasurably with each stroke.
Shutting the door, Tim hung the bag on the doorknob, unclasped his cape and started disarming his suit. Even if Greta wouldn't prefer the real thing between her legs, Steph wouldn't take long to be ready for her second round.
Understandably, no one was up on time for breakfast the next morning. Or lunch.
They almost missed dinner, too.