Chapter 2: Need
Summary: When beings stray from those closest to them, it is only natural that they seek another to fill the growing emptiness. It is just that, it almost never works out.
Warning: This contains semi-graphic homosexual content. Do not read this story if such content will offend you. Oh and really sorry about it, but this is not KuroFai so tread carefully… ;)
Disclaimer: I do not own any of the Tsubasa Reservoir Chronicle characters. They belong to CLAMP.
Sigh, KuroFai is everywhere… and reviews remind me of this fact. Oh well, those things fueled me to continue this story. Go KuroSyao… or not.
He did not want to hear it. He simply did not want to put up with it; that pathetic voice lecturing away as if he was slow, as if he had no understanding of the current situation. Of course he was no fool; of course he understood what had just occurred for he had been anticipating the dreaded consequences day after day. It was not as if he was unaware, it was not as if he didn't take the time to be a man and actually think. He did think, he did understand, he did know what was happening so why? Why couldn't that bloody voice, floating heavily in thick air just go away?!
"Hey magician," he growled, his voice filled with utmost hate, falling to a deadly whisper, "Could you just shut the fuck up?"
A chuckle was the simple reply, for the slender man with a single blue eye was not afraid. He was not afraid of the samurai who had killed hundreds because with a solemn glance, he could see that the brave warrior was no more than a trembling human being. The only thing that could cause the magician any fright was the fact that he would actually be able to witness the warrior cling to the now emotional wreckage that remained; the wreckage that remained from carelessness and sin.
"Should I allow you to enjoy the peace of silence?" mused Fai, leaning back against the wall that his taller companion lay slumped upon, "I mean you broke a young girl's heart and played with the emotions of a boy who knew nothing more than the need for solace from his empty being." The crystal blue eye shifted just in time to catch the man with crimson eyes beside him twitch in discomfort.
The taller man with raven locks clenched his fists, teeth grinding and made a sudden movement. Fai moved away quickly, dodging the heavy fist that collided beside his cheek. He silently watched with boredom as the poorly made plaster wall crumbled around the large hand that had battered it. His eye was then directed to the crimson eyes before him, and the hot breath of an angered beast, ready to pounce. "I did not play with him. I did not play with his feelings!" shouted the raven-haired man, sweat forming on his face.
Fai sighed, brushing the white dust from the broken wall off of his shoulder. He could sense the growing irritation from the man and stared sharply back into the crimson eyes. One of his eyes was no longer there, covered by a black band, but his single eye would be enough to match the fire directed at him. Fai would not let himself lose to such an emotional wreck that could not even be called a man. Kurogane was truly pitiable at this point.
In the little space that Kurogane had left between them, Fai managed to cross his arms, posing rather indifferently. He let out a mocking laugh and lifted his chin ever so slightly to glare at the taller man, "Kuro-pii, if you didn't play with his mind then you surely played with his body." The magician grinned widely, allowing sarcasm and venom to drip from his every word. "How did it feel, having such a lithe body twitch beneath your fingers, arch from your rough or perhaps gentle touches? Or even better, how did it sound? Must have been wonderful to hear his soft moans and urging pleas; all for the sake of relieving your hormones."
Kurogane's eyes widened, crimson orbs displaying a mix of surprise and fury. A rough hand grabbed the collar of the white robe the magician wore, pulling the man forward so that his toes were barely touching the floor. Kurogane glared down at Fai, opening his mouth and managing to stutter out, "I am not some sort of b-beast you fool! I did not use the boy! I-"
A pale hand reached out, grasping the rough one tightly. The sapphire eye glowed fiercely and Fai, the man who had somehow always managed to smile did not. He scowled instead, cheeks flushing red with rage. The calm magician had snapped, and Fai broke his soft voice, opting for a harsh tone; one that would force the raven-haired man before him to face reality. "You what?!" Fai exclaimed angrily, "You were merely giving him experience or just showing him how to be an adult? Hardly!" Fai took a breath, his voice cracking and shoulders relaxing. "No, you love him."
Instantly the blonde-haired mage was placed on the ground again as Kurogane turned away in shame and with the slight chance of embarrassment. Fai sighed, straightening his now wrinkled robe. He looked to the glassy floor and smiled as softly as he could. Sometimes things like this felt so ridiculous.
"So have you told him?" Dead silence, as Fai expected from the taller man. That obviously meant no. Fai shrugged, walking back towards the humiliated warrior and patted him firmly on the shoulder. He spoke quietly, no longer using a taunting tone for now Kurogane had gotten his reality shock and simply needed frank advice. "If you aren't going to tell him, you should at least tell her." Fai motioned his thumb towards a long hallway, the place where the young princess had run down.
"Why should I-?" "Isn't she the one who misunderstands the situation the most?" Fai looked down the dark hall, a melancholy smile touching his lips. "She deserves an explanation." The blonde magician smiled foolishly, bending his arms upward to support his head. A childish glitter made its way to his blue eye and Fai turned to Kurogane, tilting his head slightly from within his arms. "You don't deceive a lady Kuro-chan, plus she is your love rival so you should declare war face to face right?" Fai winked and laughed quietly, his calm and kind demeanor returning.
Kurogane on the other hand had the same angry expression plastered on his face. He shook his head and walked forward, letting his scarlet eyes look back to the damned mage. "You are full of crap I hope you know." With that said Kurogane turned away and headed down the hallway, the hallway which had felt the small pattering steps of a broken hearted girl.
Fai shook his head and chuckled to himself, raising a finger to his lips. "You tell me that I hide too much beneath my smile and yet look at how much you tried to hide." The magician paused, rising to watch the large figure of the swordsman disappear around a corner. A sad smile graced his face as a cold wind brushed against his flushed cheeks.
He was not sure where he should even begin. Crimson eyes peered out from behind a wall to notice a young woman. The young princess was sitting on a marble bench, her black dress contrasting with the glowing whiteness of smooth marble beneath her. Her melancholy emerald eyes stared out to the stars, an expression of sadness tracing her delicate features. By looking at the gloved hands clenched in her lap, it was easy for one to tell that she was deep in contemplation. However, that moment of thought soon ended as she smiled, closing her eyes, obviously coming to some sort of conclusion.
"Kurogane-san." The black-haired warrior twitched in his hiding position as the feminine voice spoke. "There is no need for you to hide yourself you know."
Embarrassed at his cowardly presence being found, the dark-haired warrior headed out to stand beside the young woman, his rather large figure contrasting her petite one. He snuck a quick nervous glance at her, into which she responded with a sweet smile. They stayed like that for many passing moments, Kurogane standing off to side, avoiding the princess's eyes, and Sakura just looking to the floor with downcast eyes. As expected, it was the young princess who broke the silence.
"I remember," began Sakura, her voice nearly dying out in the thin cold air, "I remember that time in the library where he cried for you." Kurogane stiffened, the memory that she spoke of clear in his mind. "Syaoran-kun has always been kind; there is no doubt of that. Surely he would feel for you after seeing your past but…" The girl blinked her emerald eyes and took a breath, to continue on with her steady yet shaking voice. "But I never expected to see him cry. On our journeys, Syaoran-kun has always held his own. Its not like I did not notice, I knew he was keeping his feelings bottled up inside."
"There was always something wrong, but whenever I inquired, he would turn away or sometimes…" The young woman's voice drifted off sadly. "Sometimes, I couldn't even hear what he was saying. I would phase out, unable to hear a word or remember what happened. The look on his face after those moments… I knew he felt devastated, and it hurt that even when I tried my hardest, I couldn't do a thing for him, not one thing."
The young woman with emerald eyes turned to the man with crimson eyes and held his large hands in her smaller ones. "That was when he turned to you wasn't it?"
Kurogane flinched; the princess had known all along, even when it began.
Sakura smiled, sensing the larger man's hesitance. "Kurogane-san, I would never blame you for the current situation. Syaoran-kun needed someone, and you reached out to him. I'm thankful for all you have done for him; after all, I can't comfort him." Tears suddenly sprung forward, droplets streaming down pale cheeks. The auburn-haired girl laughed, a little shocked at herself, and wiped away the unexpected tears. "I don't know why, even when I reason it all out, it still hurts."
The man with raven hair was silent with respect; respect for the young woman who had endured so much to the point that it was tearing her insides out. Kurogane took a moment, lifting his hand to place in on her head, stroking her trembling form. He did not know what he could do other than offer some comfort to the princess, yet there was still one thing that bothered him, and he voiced it out loud.
"So, what do we do now?"
That was when her tears stopped, a melancholy smile tracing her thin lips. Sakura stood up, eyes cast in shadows. She managed to take a deep breath and once again raised her hands to hold his larger ones. Bravely, the young princess looked up to the tall warrior, an expression of complete sincerity in her shining eyes. Her voice was confident, unwavering and strong, giving her final decision.
"I want you to take care of him."
Kurogane's eyes widened slightly at the proposal given to him. She could not mean it for the boy belonged to her; there was no doubt of that. It also shamed his mind to no end. Had he been the cause, to break such a youthful love, the one to snap the frail strings that had survived through so much? He could not accept what he had done, surely the princess was not thinking. She was too young to make a forced decision such as this. Kurogane opened his mouth to protest.
"Kurogane-san!" A young man's voice broke through the silence.
Sakura smiled softly and took one last moment to gently squeeze the warrior's hands. "See? He is looking for you right now."
The moment was quick as Kurogane's attention was taken by the approaching voice, only left to realize that the young damsel had taken that chance to escape. Not a trace of her had been left. What was left behind was an intimate setting, two people standing upon the clean white surface of marble, surrounded only by the eternity that was the night sky. The nerves alone would cause the raven-haired man to feel his palms dampen with sweat. It was an experience he had long forgotten, the feeling of anticipation and fear.
Syaoran stepped towards his mentor, his heavy boots echoing along the surface of the polished floor. It was evident in his eyes, he was confused, concerned and slightly hesitant, but as always, the young man was not one to run away. Instead standing mere inches from the taller man, Syaoran reached out with a trembling hand and grasped Kurogane's arm. His head was held low but soon rose to meet crimson eyes and with a flash of surprise and slight guilt Syaoran noticed, the warrior was feeling the same as he was.
"Kurogane-san." The name drifted from his cold lips. "I need to apologize. I must apologize, for doing something so selfish and wrong." Syaoran felt his breath hitch and shut his eyes for a moment. Clenching his free hand into a fist, he winced at the pressure, bringing him back to the reality he was facing. "When… when the princess saw us, it was something you should not be blamed for. It was my selfishness and carelessness that were at fault."
Scarlet eyes widened, and Kurogane could not believe what he was hearing. It was illogical, for the boy before him to stare so courageously yet tremble in fear for a crime he was not guilty of. However, it was that bravery that left Kurogane in awe, unable to protest as the false words sounded themselves.
"I used you to fulfill my needs. I know that now." The young man paused, giving a chance for his frustrations to cool. "When the… the other me had let go of those memories to Yuuko-san, I should have been prepared for it to be this way. I should have been happy enough to obtain my goal of receiving a tangible means to travel through worlds to get the princess's feathers back. Instead, I was a child at heart, and used you to fill the emptiness I felt. I'm sorry."
Kurogane stiffened. He disliked where this apology was heading.
"When you extended your hand to me, I truly appreciated it. It made me forget my problems, even if for only a moment. However it was wrongful of me. I dragged you into a problem of my own and now I must use this chance to end it. The only thing I should have focused on from the very beginning is the princess's need to obtain her feathers, not my irrelevant troubles. Kurogane, I promise you this will never happen again and I am thankful for what you have done-"
The younger man froze, as both of his arms were taken in rough hands and the head of the taller warrior hung low above his shoulder. The two stood in that position for what seemed an eternity as the older man's breaths came out in angry bursts, and the younger man's, deathly silent.
"Would you reject me…"
Syaoran blinked, uncertain of what the raven-haired man was speaking of.
"Would you reject me if I told you; the princess is not the only one who needed you." Kurogane's face darkened as the words growled past his lips. "If I told you that you were not the selfish one; that I was the one who needed you."
"I don't under-"
Amber eyes widened, and the breath of the young warrior was pulled from his throat as he was dragged towards the taller man, hearing the quiet hiss of words that brushed his ear. However, Syaoran would not be even given a second to digest those words as he was swept up by strong arms into a bruising kiss; one that crushed cold lips together and invited the violent clash of moist tongues. Syaoran's head could only lull under the confusion as he reacted, whining softly into the older man's mouth.
Before he could catch any grip on what was happening, the young man was released, knees buckling causing him to fall to the floor. Syaoran watched helplessly as the taller man stalked off, simply dressed in a dark cotton shirt causing him to disappear into the night sky. It was then that Syaoran let his fingers touch his swollen lips, dropping them, only to bring his hands back up over his ears in disbelief. Soon amber eyes closed upon themselves and the chestnut-haired man's brows furrowed in bewilderment. Those words, those rushed hissing words repeated over and over in his head, not showing any signs of stopping.
I love you.
Author's Note: Maybe I will write the chapter with the smex part, next year too… I just noticed I hadn't updated this fic in so long!! I am such a bad person. Aaaahhhh, sorry I am so lazy. Btw yeah I gave in; I tried to put a very very slight hint of KuroFai. SIGH Oh and I fixed the eye mistake too, total mess up in Chapter 1.