The Five Potions


Chapter 3: Pimp My Soul


Disclaimer: I own just as much as I did in chapter 1





"I choose the second one," Sasuke said.

He didn't really want to choose any of them, but since he had to, he just chose one at random. Plus, the orange one was probably made by the blonde; not a good choice.

Naruto picked up the liquid and drained it into the Uchiha's mouth, then put more tape over the trapped boy's mouth. After swallowing, the blond ripped off the tape, receiving a stream of curses. It wasn't that the potion was foul. In fact, it had a sweet and tangy flavor; quite good. But his face hurt so much at the moment, it wasn't even funny…

After several minutes and nothing strange happening to Sasuke, his friends weren't satisfied. The Uchiha sighed in relief, glad that there was no ill-effect on him.

"Nothing happened!" Naruto exclaimed, "Why didn't your potion do anything Kakashi-sensei?"

The jonin shrugged.

"I doubt any of them work anyway…" Kiba stated.

"Can you guys get me down from here?" Sasuke asked.

But, still wanting revenge, his friends just left, wherever they had taped him to the wall. Sasuke scowled, but mentally cried; he had to use the bathroom.


Time had gone by and he was still taped to the wall…

"This totally sucks…" he sighed, trying to meditate his immense anger away.

"You think this is bad?"

Sasuke's eyes snapped open and saw, dare he say it, a very good looking boy about his age. Oh, wait, of course it was; it was his clone…

"Hey, I don't have a clone!"

The duplicate's eyes lit up in amusement at the original's frustration.

"No, stupid, I'm not a clone. I'm you; but if you can't accept that, you can call me Omoi (emotion)."

"Why are you here then?" Sasuke asked.

"That potion released me, your alter ego and long suppressed emotions; basically, I'm your opposite. I was repressed in the deep sub-conscious of your mind for over half your miserable life. Now that I'm free though…"

A devious smile grew on his face. Sasuke was nervous.

"You wouldn't dare…"

"I'll leave you here, and I can walk around on my own. Finally, after watching you reject those two gorgeous babes Ino and Sakura… You could've gone out with them both and they'd still love us you know."

Sasuke shuddered at the thought, plus the fact that this weirdo referred to them both as 'us'.

"Why do you use the term 'us'?"

"Because, my hard-assed other self, we are the same person. It just so happens that I have looks AND personality…" he grinned, "And for locking me away, I'm going to go through town and live it up a bit. I have accepted that we are one, although you are a bastard, and you should too."


"Have it your way. I'll be off now, see you!"

Omoi left out the window, leaving his other self behind.

After thought, Sasuke burst, "OMOI? My reputation is ruined…"

A head popped in the window and Omoi returned.

"I almost forgot… I need to tape your mouth so you won't scream and ruin this; thanks for reminding me!"


Omoi had stealthily left Konoha without anyone noticing. He had the same skill level as Sasuke, so this was no problem. He had also decided to change clothes and wore his hitai-ate on his left arm. Much to his relief, Omoi was bale to change into something that DID NOT have the Uchiha fan on it. He hated having to wear that every single day, symbolizing that he would avenge his clan. Seriously, killing Itachi wouldn't do anything for him except turn him into a psychopath who'd do anything for power. Sasuke's good side also fixed his hair so it didn't look like a bird's ass. Most of his raven hair now hung to his shoulders while he also kept a 'bed-head' look to. There was no way he'd look like his alter ego. No freaking chance…

The plan was that he would appear to have come from training, if they recognized him at all and blend in. This was his time to have some fun.


The first people he saw were his teammates. Sakura was currently sitting next to Naruto as he inhaled even more ramen at Ichiraku. But Omoi was focusing more on the female of Team 7. He painfully remembered all the times the pink-haired beauty tried to seduce and/or ask them on a date, only to be rejected each time. The perverted Uchiha blushed thinking of what he could get away with doing with the girl.

"Damn, she may not be well endowed, but she sure is hot!" Omoi said under his breath, trying to stop blood from dripping from his nose.

Gaining composure, Omoi let a small smile drift on his face as he approached his team. What he was about to do next was what he'd been itching to do. He walked behind Sakura and wrapped his arms around her in a warm, loving embrace, placing his chin in the crook of her neck.

"Hey!" she began, "Who do you think you- Sasuke-kun?"

Her emerald eyes widened in realization and a deep blush developed on her face. Naruto looked over and saw the scene, letting his chopsticks clatter to the counter, ramen hanging from his mouth.

"This is nice," Sasuke whispered, "I'm sorry we didn't do this sooner."

Sakura was speechless, but the blond was quite the opposite.

"What the Hell do you think you're doing teme?!" he exploded.

Omoi kept his eyes closed and just took a deep breath before answering.

"Don't ruin the moment…" he sighed.

"How did you get free?" Naruto questioned.

Omoi sighed again before straightening.

"Mood killer…" he muttered, "I'm a shinobi; guess."

He was internally scowling. Figures that the blond would interfere, having a crush on Sakura; but why couldn't he give him a moment or two? But it was lost and he couldn't do anything about it, so he might as well make due and order something to eat.

"Hey, Naruto, what's the best kind of ramen here?"

Naruto just blinked in surprise; major mood swing much? Plus, Sasuke hated ramen…

"Uh… miso…"

"Alright, five of that please!" Omoi called, "So…"

The dark-haired boy looked over to his teammates. At a quick glance, it would be hard to recognize him as he looked completely different. It was mostly because of the hair, and a t-shirt instead of that navy freaky-collared one with a fan on the back. Oh, and his personality too.

"Sasuke, are you feeling alright?" Naruto asked.

Sakura was still too dazed to do anything at the moment.

"Yeah, why?" Omoi asked, slurping up his first bowl of ramen almost as fast as the blond would have.

"You seem different…"

"It was that potion," he explained, "And it pulled out that stick that's been shoved up my ass all this time. I blame Itachi… And revenge… And, emo-ness!"

Omoi was getting dramatic; so much that he had pumped his fist in the air, fire burning in his eyes. The rest of Team7 sweatdropped.

"So, do you guys forgive me for being an asshole for so long?"

It pained Omoi to say this as, he felt, it wasn't his fault. He was the alter ego, and surprisingly had very little control over he and Sasuke's combined physical form.

By now, Sakura had snapped out of her trance.

"Of course Sasuke-kun!" she exclaimed.

"That's great, now that that's settled I have to find Kakashi-sensei," Sasuke said.

The blond sighed.

"Training, training, training! Think of something else for once!"

"Shouldn't I say the same to you?" he asked jokingly, "And no, I don't want to train. I need to thank him; it because of him that I'm free, err…"

"What do you mean teme?" Naruto asked.

"Well…" Omoi laughed, "Hey! We should go gambling against Tsunade-sama tonight; I've never played cards but I think it'd be fun and we could win big time… Or it could be a party; parties are fun… I'm going to host it I guess and invite anyone you want!"

"Um, ok…" Naruto began, "Are you sure you're not sick?"

"Naruto," Omoi began, "There's going to be ramen… if you can get enough people… Plus, think of all the money we could win."

A foxy grin appeared on the blonde's face; he was in.

"Sakura," Omoi began, "You want to come?"

It was her chance to actually follow Sasuke and go to his house WITHOUT being considered a stalker! She gladly accepted.


"Hey Sensei," Omoi lazily said, approaching Kakashi in the woods.

The copy-nin looked up from his porn and sighed.

"You got free already, huh? Well, I'm not going to train you today book stealer."

"No, Sensei, I don't want to train… And the books were… burned."

The silver-haired man began to ferociously glare at his student.

"I tried to tell him not to!" he defended, "But he didn't listen to me! I'm just not important enough for his huge ego, that bastard…"

"Who are you talking about?"

"My alter-ego."

Omoi immediately slapped a hand over his mouth.

"Damn it! Why can't I keep my mouth closed?" he exclaimed.

"Are you feeling alright Sasuke?" Kakashi asked, "If so, I'm going to beat you up for burning my precious books."

"I'm ok, I guess," Omoi said, "But if those books were to be burned, I could've at least been allowed to read them first…"

Kakashi could barely hold back a laugh.

"Sasuke, are you saying you're a pervert?"

"Yeah, well, you're no better yourself Sensei," he admitted, "But I came here for a reason. First, thank you for making that potion which separated my alter-ego from me, and two, you want to come to this huge poker game/ party I'm throwing In the Uchiha District tonight? I'm getting Naruto to invite lots of people."

The jonin was trying to take all this information in at once, but decided to just ignore it for now so he could get back to reading his book.

"Sure, I guess I'll go."


It was getting dark out and Sasuke was getting pissed off. And he had to piss; badly. But back to the plot. He was nervous about what Omoi was doing as him. It was almost frightening how his whole reputation could be ruined by the emotional clone. It was then, when he looked out the window of the deserted building he was in, did he see that a large crowd of people were heading towards the Uchiha district. Was it a mob? Sasuke groaned, not liking where this was going.


"Naruto, you got almost ALL of the ninja of Konoha to come?" Omoi asked, astounded.

"Yeah, you said anyone I wanted, besides," Naruto began, "I told them to bring something so you don't have to worry about supplies and stuff."

"You… are a genius in your own way Naruto," Omoi complimented, "And the more the merrier! Besides, this district is HUGE; we can hold them all. Now, we have to set up before they come."

"Kage bunshin no jutsu!"

Twenty Naruto clones appeared to help setup. Omoi, who had copied the technique with his sharingan, made ten clones.

"You stole my jutsu!" Naruto accused.

"For the record, it's really cool and I could only make half of what you did. Plus, we need all the help we can get…"

"Well teme, let's go!"


Sakura walked up to the Uchiha district early, wanting to get to Sasuke first in case her rival Ino decided to come. When she got there, there were several Narutos and Sasukes running around, doing several things last minute. One of the clones stopped and looked at her before motioning for her to come in.

"Um, where's the real Sasuke and Naruto?" she asked.

"I dunno," the blond stated, "I'm supposed to deliver these chips over to the stand where people can cash in and stuff; go ask him."

She then went over to a Sasuke clone that was just standing by the gates of the district, doing guard duty.

"So you know where the real Sasuke and Naruto are?" she asked.

"Naruto should be inside with Omoi-sama," he said, pointing to a building close by.


The clone sweatdropped.

"Uh, did I say that? My mistake."

Sakura found it strange that he would make such a mistake, but shrugged it off as she needed to find her beloved Sasuke-kun.


"So Naruto," Omoi began as they both finished setting up the poker tables with chairs and cards, "You really like Sakura that much, eh?"

The blond nodded.

"Well, you're my best friend, and as such, I will help you win her heart."

"But earlier, weren't you-"

"Hey, as you said yourself, she's pretty. I blame puberty… Here she comes; act natural."

The pink-haired kunoichi of Team 7 waved to the two boys.

"Sasuke-kun, I was wondering if you'd go out with me tomorrow night."

"Sorry; I can't," he explained, "I'll probably have to clean up the entire district."

"There's always another time."

"Look, Sakura," Omoi began, "I don't like you that way, alright? What I did earlier was only because I made a deal with Naruto."

'What the Hell is he doing?!' Naruto frantically thought.

Omoi continued his lie, "You see it's actually him who loves you. We made a deal, and he asked me to do that because he wants you to be happy since you seem to really like me…"

Naruto turned beat red in embarrassment. Why was he lying, for HIM? But more importantly, his more-than-crush was revealed.

"I, uh, have to go lock up some of the extra houses," Naruto mumbled, trying not to stutter.

"No, no, let me do it," Omoi offered, "You two have some talking to do anyway."

Omoi mentally snickered as he left the two alone in the room. Unfortunately, he really did have to lock up houses so people wouldn't make too much of a mess of the district. Sadly for Omoi, there were many houses… The keys couldn't be copied, so this was a loner task. He then summoned five more bunshin though, to man the gates when the guests arrived. That way he could keep annoying people, and party crashers out.


"Naruto, you really…"

Sakura paused. When the Uchiha had left, everything had become awkward. And with Naruto not saying anything for once, the silence made things worse.

"I mean, I know you have a crush on me but…"

"I'd do just anything for you Sakura-chan."

It was true; the blond would go to the end of the world for her.

Both of them blushed. The distance between them was closing, but before that, the doors opened, Omoi in the doorway, a smirk on his face.

"I was going to say that people were here now, but I guess I'll just leave you two alone now… Even if a whole bunch of people are going to come in here…"

"Um, we're coming Sasuke…"

Omoi mentally smiled in satisfaction at how she dropped the suffix to his name.

As the blond passed by out the door, Omoi whispered, "Payback is a bitch."

And with that, one of the best 'private' parties to ever be held in Konoha began.


Sasuke smiled in satisfaction as he looked at the bare wall and shreds of duct tape on the ground. It had taken hours, but with motivation of a possible mob, he had gotten free. And with that in mind, he set off full speed to the Uchiha compound.


Omoi was having the time of his life. Much to his delight, many of the older shinobi had brought saké, which he was currently sipping straight from the bottle. To top it all off, he had an arm around the waist of the blonde beauty Ino. It was then that he got a mental alert about an intruder. He wasn't very skilled at making kage bunshin yet, so he could only make out a few words, but he had an idea of who it was.

"Hey Ino-chan," he whispered to the blond, "Can you hold onto my drink for a while? I've got an intruder I have to take care of."

"Of course Sasuke-kun," she cooed, "But be back."

A charming grin spread across his face.

"As if you need to tell me that…"


Sasuke twitched in anger as he saw that his double had thrown a party with every shinobi who wasn't currently on a mission. But it was in the Uchiha compound which meant that NO ONE could go there for informal events; it just was… a rule!

As soon as he passed through the gates though, several people tackled him to the ground; namely Omoi's clones. Sasuke tried to shove them off, but they were him and could easier predict his actions.

"Sasuke you bastard…" a voice hissed, "What made you think that coming here would be a good idea?"

"I want you to go away. This is screaming trouble," Sasuke retorted.

Omoi clasped a hand over his mouth and took the Uchiha away from the party over the rooftops.

"I will NOT let you to continue to ruin my life bastard!" Omoi scolded, "Just let me have some fun."

"Is that… alcohol on your breath?"

"That babe Anko sure knows how to bring a party to life… Now, I'm going to tie you up so I can go play a few rounds of poker and win some cash."

To his dismay, Sasuke was powerless to stop Omoi form tying him up.


"Two pairs of fours!" Omoi exclaimed, "I win again!"

The conscious people at the table groaned in defeat. By now it was 3 in the morning and anyone who wasn't already passed out was heavily intoxicated and on the verge of passing out. Luckily for Omoi, he hadn't had his fair share of saké, thus he was the most sober. It made it possible to cheat in poker and win everything on the table. And at that time at night, it included more than just money.

"I guess that's the last game for me," he said, going to cash in.

"How do you keep winning?" a groggy jonin asked.

"I'm not fully stoned, so I can think."

"Oh," he replied before his head collided with the table.


Omoi awoke to the sun filled afternoon with a nasty hangover. He quickly got changed into clean clothes before making sure that everyone who came to the party left. He found that the majority of people were awake and leaving, dragging passed out friends behind with them. Anyone he didn't know still asleep was dragged out of the compound by Omoi and his clones. He surveyed the compound to find that the collateral damage was actually quite low, considering all the alcohol that had been present (Plus the fact that Lee had gotten ahold of some of it. Boy was that funny…).

A sleepy, disheveled blond slowly walk towards him, carrying Sakura bridal style as best as he could.

"Some party last night, eh Naruto?"

The blonde gave his trademark foxy grin.

"Do you have any food?"

"Yeah, I think so… I hid some just in case there isn't any though."

The two made their way back to the house and went to the kitchen. Omoi, once there, lifted a floor board and pulled out a few cans of instant ramen and uncooked rice.

"It's all I got it seems," he said.

Naruto shrugged before laying Sakura down on a couch in the other room.

"So…" Omoi began, "I didn't see you two all night… Tell me what happened."

Naruto turned a slight shade of red.

"Sakura-chan… kissed me. And when I asked her out, she said yes for once."

"Now isn't that exciting?" Omoi tiredly asked, "What did I tell you? Girls like guys who'll do anything for them; it's like a goal in life."

"What about you?" Naruto asked, slurping up his now cooked ramen.

Before he could answer, a call of 'Sasuke-kun!' was heard. Both heads turned to see Ino walking into the kitchen with Sasuke's clothing (meaning it had the stupid fan on it).

"You look beautiful today Ino-chan; sleep well?" he asked, taking her by the waist.

"MmHm, thanks for leaving clothes out for me. But my head hurts…"

She looked over form Omoi to see Naruto giving her a funny look.

"Why's he here?"

"Because Ino-chan, both of us set up this party and he's my best friend."

Sakura woke up groggily from the sofa. She rubbed her eyes and yawned.

"So, Billboard-Brow is here too?" Ino asked.

"Ino-pig!" Sakura called.

"Ladies, ladies, I have a hangover here, so if you could keep it down, it would be most appreciated," Omoi said.

But sadly for Omoi, that was the least of his troubles. He was suddenly tackled to the ground by a dark-haired figure.

"You think you can get the best of me?" the intruder taunted, "I'll show you."

"Hard-ass! Give me an F-ing break!"

"Sasuke-kun!" Ino called.

"What?" both figures asked.

The three genin stared at the scene. Could there be two Uchiha Sasukes?

"Which one of you is the REAL Sasuke?" Naruto asked.

"We both are," Omoi stated, "You see, that potion whipped up by sensei set me, your 'original's' emotion which he locked away. Thus we split up into two physical forms."

"So… there are two of you now?"

"Unfortunately," Sasuke stated.

"We have to assemble everyone to solve this problem," Sakura said.

'And to think… I was having a good time,' Omoi mentally sighed.


Both Omoi and Sasuke were sitting in chairs facing the rest of the rookie 9 and Kakashi. They had tried to reverse the potion, but nothing worked. But by the way they acted… Konoha wouldn't be able to handle two of them. Thus, they had to choose one to stay in Konoha, and the other to leave. It was probably because of their dazed states that prohibited them from thinking of any other solution.

"Ok, state why you should be the true Uchiha Sasuke," Kakashi said.

"I'm the original that you all know," Sasuke began, "And I'm the more powerful of the two and would be the best choice to help Konoha. Although I… my not be as friendly as… I still care about my friends."

"Ok, where do I begin?" Omoi began, "I threw that awesome party last night that you all attended. I'm not a dirt-bag, and I actually show what I feel instead of being emo. My life goal isn't killing someone, but to have a fulfilled, pleasant life. And I don't treat my friends like ass unless I'm totally pissed off, except I never actually get to DO any of these things... I think that's enough for now."

After a brief moment of silence, Naruto said, "Ok, time to vote!"


A dark haired Uchiha left Konoha, a scowl on his face. It wasn't fair that he had to leave, why would his friends betray him? He looked back at the blond he thought was his best friend. It was for the best though. He could still fulfill his life's goal by leaving, heck, he was probably going to get there faster. Without a glance back, he left. He'd probably go to Otogakure…



Amei: I FINALLY got this out! It took me long enough… Anyway, I hope this chapter wasn't too bad. It seems similar to the last one, but not quite… I'm in an angsty mood so, it's not too funny (Unless my partner here changes it) but tell me what you think. Oh, and kudos to who can guess who left: Sasuke or Omoi. Hopefully I revealed enough clues.

Jetaime321: WTF!! I want Hinata to be with Naruto