A/N: They still aren't mine. This is it for this story. I hope you enjoyed it. I definitely enjoy both reviews and constructive criticism so feel free to leave either/or.
We fell asleep around six in the morning. Then we woke up and made love again around nine. I should say… Bobby woke me up and we made love again. My guess is it's noon now, but I haven't opened my eyes yet so I haven't seen the clock.
It's because I can feel the absence of a body in the bed next to me. I'm scared to death that he ran again and I know that no matter how much I love him I don't have the energy to try and pull him back if that's what he's done. At that point, the only thing more impossible than me asking him to leave would be me asking him to stay.
The sudden noise of something sizzling on the stove startles me out of my reverie, and it takes me a second but it eventually clicks somewhere deep in my mind that he has not left. He's just making breakfast. Or lunch. Or whatever meal fits with whatever time of day it may be.
Opening my eyes I see it is almost one in the afternoon. The last time I stayed in bed this late it was raining and there was nothing I had to be doing. That was a few years ago. Maybe there is hope for this guy yet, if his intentions are to keep me in bed all day. And cooking is included. Although, god only knows where he got food to cook with because I know there isn't anything he would consider edible here.
I close my eyes and am debating whether to let him come find me with the food, or if I should go to him. When I hear the sizzling on the stove stop my mind is made up to stay in bed and let him come to me.
He doesn't let me down. Entering the room with two plates of pancakes and sausage, and wearing no shirt to boot, makes me smile and the look I can feel passing over my face I'm sure gives away what I feel right now. Contentment.
Placing the plates on the bedside table he sits down next to me, brushes my hair out of my face, and kisses me softly on the lips. "Hey, sleepyhead."
"Don't make fun of my proclivity for sleeping. You're the one that tired me out." At this he grins and wraps his arm around me, pulling me into a seated position. Then he uses his other arm to prop my pillows up behind me.
Breakfast in bed. A girl could get used to this. He even slathered the syrup on my pancakes, knowing how I love my many-times-daily sugar fix. I dive right in to a bite of sausage, and then he picks up the other plate and does the same.
We eat in total silence, something both of us can appreciate, and when I'm so full I feel I'm about to bust at the seams I put my plate back on the bedside table. It's now that I take full notice of the fact that he hasn't made himself truly comfortable and that he is still sitting on the edge of the bed, his back to my body, glancing sideways at me from time to time.
He stacks his plate on top of mine and begins to play nervously with his hands. I can read his body language to a letter, after all these years together, and it's apparent that he wants to get up and pace but isn't.
"Alex…" He says my name so softly I almost miss it. There is a sinking feeling in the pit of my stomach that he was buttering me up with food only to now let me down.
"Bobby… before you say anything…" I start in.
"Willyoucomewithmetoseemymomtoday?" It comes out in a gasped breath. And I've never heard anything sweeter.
I can tell by the way he won't look at me that he's nervous, and that what comes out of my mouth next is very important to him. I have to choose my words wisely.
I pull myself up and lean my head against his back, feeling my bare skin against his, wrapping my arms around his midsection. Turning slightly, I press a kiss against his right shoulder-blade.
"Bobby…" I start slowly. I'm incredibly overwhelmed with emotion at what he is asking of me. He's never held me so close to the rest of his life.
"Bobby I don't have much to offer you. But one thing I know for sure I can provide is a shoulder to lean on. And not just now. For the rest of our lives together. Of course I will go with you to see your mom. I would go to the end of the earth with you if you asked me to."
I stop myself. I don't want to overwhelm him when I'm conscious of the fact that he is making himself emotionally vulnerable to me.
He turns to the side and wraps his arm around me, pulling me against his chest and laying us back on the bed.
"I haven't done anything."
"You've been here. In your quiet way, you've been here. Even when I tried so hard to push you away…"
"Bobby, as your friend I could never abandon you. Not like that. Even if we stopped…" I trail off a little bit, not sure how to say what it is I want to say. "I would never turn away from you if you needed me emotionally. It just hurts when you don't let me in. It's hard, I get it. It's personal, and I get that too." I close my eyes and draw on the strength I know I have buried inside of myself.
"When Joe died I wouldn't let anyone in. But then, I didn't have anyone close enough to let in. I had my family, but it wasn't the same as having 'that person' to confide in. You're that person for me now, and you have been for quite a while. I want to be that person for you. I'm not saying you have to let me in on everything. I would like that, but I know it's asking a lot. I just don't want you to push me away."
"This is hard, Alex. There is so much going on in my life right now and I tried to push you out of it because I was trying to get something off my plate. I couldn't push my mom away, for obvious reasons, I need my job to pay my rent and you… I'm not sure I realized how much I actually needed you until now."
I look up at him and see genuine sincerity in his eyes. "I always knew I needed you… I just didn't know how much." He's reiterating his point, making sure I understand. "It's nice to touch something solid I can cling to."
I feel like there has been a weight on my chest that suddenly is being lifted. Bobby is my touchstone in life, and he pretty much just told me that I'm his. I feel like he's ready to let me in once and for all.
I pull myself even tighter up against Bobby's body. If I could live inside his skin, in this moment, I would.
"I want to give you so much, Alex. I really do. It's just going to take time for the craziness in my life to sort itself out."
"I know. I'm just glad you're finally going to let me help you muddle through this messy hand that life has dealt."
We lie in silence for a little while. Bobby is tracing circles with thick, calloused fingers along my back. In turn, I am running my nails along his bicep. Time is passing, too quickly for a Saturday afternoon together.
"What time do you want to go?" I query softly, not wanting to overstep my bounds. While he is inviting me in to this area of his life, I am still expecting him to set the pace at which we will walk this road together.
"Maybe around four. That way we'll be there around four-thirty and then we can sit with her for a while and when she has dinner, usually around six. I called. The nurses say she is having a good day."
He pauses there, as if in deep thought.
"We could go to dinner on our way back," I suggest.
"Maybe." He's indecisive. Or, at least, he's acting like he's indecisive. "Maybe we could just come back her and be together."
It's one of those things that I love about Bobby. One of those secrets I've been privileged enough to be let in on. That Robert Goren actually does, on occasion, like to do absolutely nothing.
I know that the times when we will be able to "just be together" without having chaos surrounding us will be few and far between. That's just how life is. It's for this reason that I know it's impossible to deny this man his wish for the evening. I'm just going to be grateful for the fact that things are relatively quiet at the moment, and that I can spend this time with a person, no the person, who incites such a passionate flame within me.