Diary of a Space Marine from the 2nd company of the Chapter known as the Lore Guard. 13th Founding (Black Founding).

Descended from unknown Gene-stock. Possibly Space Wolves, possibly Raven Guard.

Distinguishing physical features: Pronounced fang like teeth caused by mutated Betcher's Gland, heightened sense of smell caused by mutation to the Omophagea organ, brilliant night vision (as good as the Raven Guard and Night Lords) is a result of a slight mutation to the Occulobe implant, very slow maturation of new gene-seed.

Non-codex: In damn near everything, especially tactics and strategies.

Heraldry: None.

Battle Cry: None.

Homeworld: Entire Kargotha System. 5 Terra sized rock worlds with 6 moons between them, 2 small and 4 large (large being the size of Lunar) and 5 gass giants with a toatal of 24 reasonably large moons and about 30 small moons. 1 quite pleasent habitable world called Kargotha.

Other Notes: pursuit of knowledge is seen as there third highest priority. Second is training in arms. First is self-sacrifice for the sake of endangered innocents.

Day 1 of the year 428 of M40

Was my 1200 birthday today. Got blindingly drunk along with the rest of the squad.

Apocrathy Dvis says I am probably oldest scout in the galaxy. Yey, I broke a record.

Got a new helmet from Librarian Gvon. Better fit than the old one. Wont have to use bits of tissue paper to pad out the inside.

Brother Scout Benedict gave me a new diary. This one in fact.

Day 2

Chapter Master Sternist found out about yesterdays party. Crap. Had to polish the Dreadnaughts.

Sarge says not to interrupt the Dreads in their perpetual card game.

Day 3

Finished polishing the Dreads. Left bumper stickers on. V. Funny "I was in the Heresy and all I got was this Adamantine shell" I found very amusing. So was "If you can read this I just walked all over you"

Received news that the Cadian Gate is under attack again.

Painted all the bike's red and wrote on them in permanent ink "Red ones go faster"

Everyone has started calling me Grandpa. Librarian Gvon told everyone that I'm the oldest member of the chapter. Turns out I am. I feel old. Going to look at photo album to feel less depressed.

Day 4

Ship landed to take us to Cadia. The bikers have just found out that their bikes are all red. V. Angry. Hope no one finds out it was me.

Ship is dull. Really dull.

Ultramarines on the same ship. Really, Really dull.

Our Dread's accused theirs of cheating at cards. Inter-Chapter fight broke out. Had to use sniper rifle as a club. Must remember to get it fixed.

Day 5

Bloody Cog Heads won't give me back my bloody weapon. Says the machine spirit is depressed and needs to be cheered up. Am now V.Angry.

Ultra-smurfs Chaplin say we are a disgrace to the Adeptus Astrates. Chaplin Cassius will be arriving at Cadia with a broken nose because I punched him in the face.

Another inter-Chapter fight started. Relieved some of the boredom.

Day 6

Landed on Cadia this morning. Planet's a crap hole. Beers rubbish. Just like last time we were here.

Have been told Scouts will not be needed on this mission. We know EXACTLY where they are. Not very stealthy these Khronists.

Got stuck guarding an orphanage that is liable to come under attack. Very sturdy building. Think it was once a bomb shelter. Everyone in trying to gain shelter in here.

V. Board. Had lots of card games with the children. Got beaten by children. Repeatedly.

Can hear weapons fire coming closer. I hope my battle brothers are winning.

Day 7

Khrone cultist broke into orphanage. Emptied a plasma weapon into me. Really crapy weapon. Made my light scout armour glow red-hot. Took armour of and threw it at him, hard.

Am in a lot of agony. Feel like I have been set on fire. Run out of opium. Run out of booze.

Another Khrone cultist broke in threw the back door. Gunned down 12 children 5 woman and 4 men with an antique Automatic Weapon. Used my body as a meat shield. Ripped Khrone cultists head clean of. Am losing a LOT of blood. Enhanced biology my ass. There is only so much a body can take.

So sleepy. Mustn't sleep. Need sleep. Just for a short while. Hope I wake up.

Day 8

Day 9

Day 10

Day 11

Feel like I've been eaten by a polar bear.

Got given a medal of Chapter Master Sternist. Hooray, another one. Going to stick it on my wall with all the other ones.

Brother Scout Benedict visited me. Says I look like I've been mauled by a large carnivores animal.

Librarian Gvon visited today. Gave me a bottle of home brewed Lynch (one drop and your dead and its very illegal). Very good stuff. Going to save it for a special occasion.

Apocrathy Dvis says I will be aloud out tomorrow morning. And that we will be going back home.

Day12

Found out we lost 9 of our Chapter. I mourn. Dron Julf, Heldud Novis, Flut "flat nose" Boggus, Kelg Vut, Peter Left, Grdust X'Net, Self Cew, Warren Devil, Igrol Rock. Upon our return we shall place their bodies (what's left of them) in the catacombs beneath the Fort. Their deeds shall never be forgotten.

One of the Ultra-wancker's Chaplains started to preach how our losses were our own fault for not following the Codex Astrates to the letter and that we deserved it. Despite my injuries I did manage to beat him into insensibility along with two other Smurfs that came after him.

I swear if I have to spend another minute in the presence of these book obsessed morons the walls will be dripping blood, hope the ship gets here soon.

Day 13

We are on the same ship as the Moron-Marines. Have to go and have surgery in the sick-bay. Yesterdays riot (that I caused) did something to my second heart.

Turns out Apocrathy Dvis had left one of the bullets in. Told him to go over it with a magnet and see what comes out. Found another 3.

Decided to join in with the Dread's in their card game. Damn their good. Won one game lost 112. Thank goodness they don't play for keeps.

Day14

Discovered the reason why hardly anyone plays cards with the Dreads. It's freaky. The cold sad voice, the discussions about friends who have been dead for more than a thousand years, talking about how they themselves died. Still its beater than looking at the ultra-idiots.

Turns out its not just me that hates the Dunce-marines. One walked into the Dread room on the ship today. One of the Dread's told him "Get out or I'll tear your bloody arms of!"

Hooray, we got of that idiot-infested ship. Landed just after nightfall. Feels good to be home.

Wasted no time in putting the Honoured Fallen in the Catacombs. May they Dream their way to Heaven.

Day 15

Got my sniper rifle back. About bloody time. Went down to the Marksman's range just past the orchard on the southern face of the Fortress for some practice.

Looked in a mirror for the first time today in I don't know how long. Almost all of my skin is made out of scar tissue. Look like a patchwork person.

Brother Sergeant N'kret (Sarge) has had the brilliant idea that tattooing yourself green and brown makes you camouflage. In all fairness it works quite well. If you don't wear any armour and the local plant life is green and brown.

Sarge painted his armour and equipment green and brown. He now all but disappears if he stands next to a tree.

Day 16

At breakfast today Chapter Master Sternist saw what Sarge had done and decided that it was a stroke of genius. All equipment, vehicles, weapons and armour are now to be painted green and brown. Tattoos are not mandatory, thank goodness.

Spent entire day painting Dreads. They seemed to like it. Must be like a new fashion change to them. Seems that I am the one who gets stuck with the Dreads now since they found out how old I am.

Went to the nearest paint shops today to buy LOTS of green and brown paint.

The bikes aren't red any more. Damn.

Sarge found Brother Sniper Drell's collection of indecent photos. He had to pay for the paint. Poor sod.

Day 17

Started advertising for 9 new recruits. Poster looks good. Has a picture of a big mean looking Marine and the words 'Imperiums Finest. Have You Got What It Take's?' and another one with a picture of some happy normal people and a space marine standing in front of them pointing at the reader with the words 'The People Need You!'

Already receiving letters from applicants. They seem to believe being a Space Marine is a fun life. That will end when they see the recruitment Video. If its still the same one they had when I joined then we might get one or two new recruits (taking into account genetic compatibility and everything)

Day 18

Sorting thought the letters is less than fun. Seems everyone in the system between 14 and 140 has decided they want to join.

Why does this always happen? Every time we try and recruit we end up having to throw away 20 of them because they are written by woman. No woman in the last 10,000 years has been genetically compatible with the gene-seed. Perhaps we should have written it on the poster.

Thank goodness we can go for weeks without sleep. It's the only way I can see us getting through all this stuff. Even the Dreads are helping.

Day 19

Suggested employing some of the people from the local communities in sorting the applications. Got told to shut the hell up.

Tempted to eat some of the letters just for fun.

Day 20

Parts of my body are starting to go numb from sitting here for what seems like eternity sorting bloody letters.

No new applications are coming in. Progress is being made.

The heap of letters touches the roof of the great hall. Damn that's a lot of letters.

Heap does not seem to be reducing in size.

Day 21

Has that pile just got bigger?

Day 22

I think that this is the real reason marines turn to Chaos. They aren't known for having lots of paper work.

Day23

Turns out there are fewer letters than we thought. Some idiot buried a Dread. It's the only time they can be stealthy.

Think we are starting to have an effect on the heap of letters.

Day24

Nearly there

Day25

It's nearly midnight and we are finished. Going to drink that bottle of lynch now. Don't care if it kills me.

432 applicants were found to be acceptable and have the correct characteristics and qualifications.

They should be approaching the fortress soon. Most of them wont like what is on the video. What's left will then have to go through the genetic compatibility test

Brother Fult of the seventh company Devastators started a pool today as to how many new recruits we are going to get. The favourite seems to be 4 or 5.

Day 26

Apocrathy sorting through the first batch of marines. Found one with useable genetics. Poor sod will curse his genes and enthusiasm before the year is out. A new neophyte in the first batch. Good omen.

Went to the lake today to exercise the third lung with some underwater combat with the rest of the squad. Its still early spring. Water is very cold.

Started raining. Hard to tell where lake ends and air begins.

Got to look on the bright side. Won't have to have a bath for a while now.

Day 27

The Inquisition turned up today for a supposedly random check. We had 4 of these last year. Think they may be trying to declare us excommunicate traitor for not following the Codex Astrates.

Inquisitor is a pillock. Arrogant, pompous, foolish and a total knobhead. Henchmen think they are untouchable.

They have demanded to see the surgery and the gene-seed storage vats. It was a struggle to get the Apocrathy's to open the door. It takes nearly 50 years to grow a new Gene-seed. Reluctant to let anyone near then as I am sure you can understand.

Day 28

Now they are searching through the hall of records and the great library. The public one and the private one.

He has declared Brother Sinost Baal of the fourth company sniper's of being a heretic just for his infamous Golden Toilet joke. Trial begins at sundown tomorrow.

Poor Brother Sinost was carted away to the lodgings of the Big-I. Chapter Master Sternist was livid.

All are being questioned by the henchmen. Fights have broken out at their bitchy attitude.

Day 30

Brother Simonium Fisk the first company Tech-marine suffered the same fate as brother Sinost Baal for the 'crime' of techno-heresy. Have bad feeling about today's trial.

For dinner was beef. Real beef, not the protein synthesised crud. And some sort of poisonous seaweed. The Big-I demanded to sit at the Head Table. Very hard as we don't have a head table. We all threw beef bones at him and his cronies.

After dinner the squad went to the sparing room to practice fighting with power claws. Got beaten repeatedly by my fellow scouts. Don't care that we don't age, I still sometimes feel old.

Trial declared the two Marines guilty and sentenced to execution. Immediately. Just as the standard issue execution rifle was brought forth to the Inquisitor the Chapter Master spoke up. Can't remember exactly what he said but it went something like this:

"Don't you dare touch my lads Inquisitor."

"You wouldn't dare commit the ultimate heresy by trying to stop me."

"There's something you should know 'Inquisitor', we here look after our own. And I know these two. They may be unorthodox and prone to excessive bouts of inappropriate humour, but they are good men of the Imperium and if you so much as look at them threateningly again you will die."

"You would not dare and strike a servant of His highest order."

It was about this time that the Chapter Master broke the Inquisitors right arm.

"You are a long way from sympathetic ears 'Inquisitor', and if you do not leave now things will go very bad for you."

"Men Attack!" possibly the last thing you should shout in a room full of Adepts of the Astrates.

We buried the inquisitor and his henchmen in the orchard. We will say that he never arrived. The warp can be very treacherous at times.

Day 31

Another 5 recruits already have passed the genetic screening test.

That would be all of them.

6 in total the winners of the pool received and shared equally the prize money. No doubt it will go on some more copper tubing for the still next to the big apple tree. You can get some really good cider from them apples if it's been a good apple year.

Received word that there is another attack on Cadia. Am thinking that maybe we should just move the fortress over there.

Day 32

Turns out that the Black Tempelers have answered this call. If there is one thing worse than an ultra smurf it's one of those irritating, worthless, self-righteous hypocrites. Really hate them.

Some idiot of the tenth company tried to trip over the terminators of the first this morning to see them do the turtle impression. Now I'm not saying that it's not funny to trip over a terminator and I've done it enough times myself, but the idea is you have to do it without being caught. Just sticking your leg out as they walk past is just cursing for a bruising.

Stuck a sigh on the back of one of the terminators of the eighth company just after dinner. It said "I love chaos". Tried and tested

Got another message today saying some backwater mining colony in the galactic east is under attack by the Tyrannids. Really hate cockroaches. Ship arrives in three days time, warp permitting.

Day 33

Librarian Gvon had to go to the Apocrathy today. Tried polishing a plasma gun and it went off in his hands. There's probably a bad joke in there somewhere, but the Librarian is a psyker and I don't even want to think that sort of thing around him.

Have discovered a new stupid song today; 'how much violence can a Sister of Silence silence, if a Sister of Silence could silence violence' invented by brother Keel of the ninth company. Don't think he's onto a winner on that one.

Just heard that my company (the 2nd) will be meeting up with two black Tempelers company's. Why does the universe hate me?

Just heard that the planet in question is held by the Ultimar sub-empire. So there is a chance of the ultra-smurfs may make an appearance. Just keeps getting better and better.