By: Asura Mori
I walked across the beach of Destiny Island, letting the waves brush gently across my feet. I had abandoned my shoes and rolled up my pant legs, wanting to feel the sand beneath my feet. The water was cold against my skin, raising goosebumps along my arms, but I ignored it, wanting to just not think about anything.
But of course, my wants were ignored.
A figure appeared in front of me, hovering over the water. His outline was hazy, like a dream that is slowly fading away. But his features were prominent and clear. Golden eyes stared me down as I came to a stop in the water.
Ansem smiled, showing his teeth. "And what now, Riku? You have defeated your enemies... but for what? This last journey... It hasn't answered any of your questions, any of yours fears and doubts. The darkness – it still looms like a great wave inside of you, threatening to overtake you at any time..."
I looked up at him, then turned my head and stared at the ground. He was right, of course. He lived within my heart, still, and knew what it was that I was trying to avoid thinking about. My journies hadn't done anything to relieve me, to give me hope that I could continue to fight the darkness. If anything, it only showed that the darkness still had a great hold on me.
"You're right, Ansem. This journey hasn't answered my questions, has in fact created more questions. But, right now, the way I am... I don't hate it. It's like the King said. Everything is composed of both light AND darkness. I just have a little more darkness inside of me than others do."
I turned so that I was again looking at Ansem, who was now frowning. His golden eyes bored into my own aquamarine orbs. "And you're happy with this result?" He finally asked, after several seconds of silence.
"... I am. Though it scares me, I can control the darkness inside of me. I will never be another person's pawn again. Who I am, what I do... those things are decided by me and me alone. I know that I'm weak and that I need others to guide me sometimes... But, I'm more sure of who Riku is now than I was two years ago."
"Ansem... I know now that I can never truly be rid of you. You personify the darkness inside of me... and that is something I will have to come to accept. I will have to learn to balance my light and darkness, learn to control both. There may come a day when the darkness will take a hold of me again... However, I think I'll be more ready to face it next time."
Ansem stared at me for several minutes, his face betraying nothing of his thoughts. Finally, he spoke. "The darkness is not so easily controlled, my dear. You have succumbed twice already... What makes you think you won't succumb a third time? At the end there, you wanted to tell Xemnas 'yes,' did you not?"
I turned away from him, showing him my back. "... I did. Part of me wanted what he was saying to be true, while the other half thought it knew the truth. Nobodies... can't feel. Sora said it perfectly. But if that were true, then..."
"Then why did he act like he loved you?" Ansem chimed in, chuckling. "My dear boy, you have learned nothing. Emotions are easily feigned, even by normal people. They can lie to your face and you would never know, they are so good at their art. Xemnas could have loved you, then again, he could have just been one hell of an actor. Since none of us have ever been a Nobody, we will never know the truth..."
"And you will forever wonder what would have happened if you had succumbed and said 'yes.'"
I turned to deny these words, but Ansem had already gone. Frustrated and heavy-hearted, I angrily kicked at the wet sand beneath my feet. My frustration came from the fact that all of his words had been true. I did wonder what would have happened. Would I have fought against Sora again, betrayed him once more? I don't know...
I just don't know...
Could Nobodies feel? The question haunted me, was driving me insane. Had Xemnas done all of those things to me just because he could? Or had he done it for some other purpose... Had he felt for me what I felt for him?
"I love you."
But if that were true, then why? Irritated, I walked away from the beach and over to where my shoes rested. I started to put them back on, then stopped and closed my eyes. I opened them again, staring out at the ocean.
So many questions, many of them unanswered. Even if Nobodies could feel... Would that have changed anything? In the end, the choice was taken from me. Xemnas and the rest of the Nobodies were gone... And I would never know the truth. Could I live with that?
... Yes, yes I could.
I didn't need an answer. The past was the past. Now, I needed to look to the future. What role would I play now, in these future battles? Would I stand at Sora's side, his friend and companion? Or would I be ensnared once again by the darkness, and become his enemy? Right now, the future was uncertain, but sitting there, looking at the waves, I thought to myself that maybe, just maybe, I would find the answers I was looking for...
And this time, it would be with Sora by my side.
I could fight the darkness, balance both the light and the darkness inside of me. And my friends would help me. They wouldn't let me go this time. In that belief, I could be secure. Sora... he was the light that could counter my darkness.
And maybe, just maybe... I'll do it the right way this time.
Darkness claimed me,
Light made me,
But now I'm lost
And my heart is torn.
I found my personal hell.
Let it wrap me in its dark embrace.
Felt my heart shatter,
Only to be fixed in one fluid thought.
Hell is all about repetition,
I was about to find out just how much is repeats.
I had allowed myself to fall in love with the devil...
I wrote the lines,
I took the dare,
My devil found me
I hid the words building up inside,
Afraid of what I might say.
And I played the game,
But darkness found me
And put even my devil
I played the fool,
A role that suited me quite well.
So oblivious to the world outside,
I let the devil play with my heart.
Is love just a game?
My heart a playing to be broken
And thrown away?
The devil truly does love
How easy it is,
To let the devil inside.
He knows me well,
Has been me.
How stupid I was,
To have let him break my heart.
My beloved devil with golden eyes,
Tempt me no more,
And return to me my heart.
How fun it is,
To win over the devil himself.
How good it felt,
To finally have control.
I bound him with chains of gold,
To match his pretty eyes.
Don't beg me,
My deceiving devil,
For I will not release you.
A love filled with hate,
A devil's embrace.
Is love really just a game?
I hope not,
For others sake.
It's no fun,
When you have to bind your love,
Just to make him stay.
But that's how it is for me,
This game called love,
Because I... am a blue-eyed brat.
Asura: And that is truly the end of Blue Eyed Brat. Hope you all enjoyed it. Read and review please! :D