Disclaimer: Hmmmmm...Let me think. Nope.

A/N: Wow, I wrote another chapter. I didn't think I would. How many years has it been? Suggestions one through seven is for my lovely reviewers from like forever ago. You know who you are (I hope), if you are reading this.

Ways to Get Rid of Kavanaugh: Part 5

1. Bring his mother to Atlantis.

2. Start acting like a mother hen. (Mental sanity alert.)

3. Start a petition.

4. Get him to remind John of 'that' lovely bug incident.

5. Steal John's hair gel. Points at Kavanaugh.

6. Paint the Daedalus pink, then tell Caldwell Kavanaugh did it.

7. Constantly tell him that his opinions and ideas are inferior to McKay's. Then, shower McKay with affection so he gets even more jealous.

8. Trips down a flight of stairs. (No one noticed the banana peal hiding in a nearby corner.)

9. Push him into an oncoming wormhole.

10. Drop him down a mine shaft, well, etc. (Many long bottomless pits available on many worlds.)

11. Introduce him to Asgard of the Pegasus Galaxy.

12. Sell him into slavery.

13. Todd's feeling hungry.

14. Meets the deadly power of the spork. (No weapon is deadlier in the hands of a chef.)

15. Tell Ronon Kavanaugh was questioning his manhood.

16. Drop a building on him.

17. An unfortunate encounter with a toy car. (It was an accident really.)

18. Tell Ronon or Rodney Kavanaugh looked at Jennifer.

19. Direct him toward a pregnant Teyla.

20. Induce a coma.

21. Shrink him. (Squish...)

22. Go back and time and kill his grandfather.

23. Rodney needs a test subject for his new invention: Atlantian Light Sabers.

24. Two words: Mad Ronon

25. Implant a new personality. (Let's name him Fred.)

26. Scare him to death. (Now possible with identity within crystal. Buy now at your local dark and gloomy planet.)

27. It's a bird. It's a plane. No wait. It's Kavanaugh.

A/N: Well, am I still funny?