Disclaimer: Inuyasha is not mine, I haven't consumed any kind of drugs in my lifetime, so I don't have a single shot at coming up with something like Inuyasha. Seriously, you don't just wake up one morning and decide to make a cartoon about demonic dogs. That takes years of heroin.
AS OF DECEMBER 21st, 2010 THIS FANFIC IS BEING REVISED AND TAKEN OUT OF SCRIPT FORMAT.
One day, Inuyasha and his band of jolly murderers were taking a drink from a big, blue, piss-filled oasis. And the only reason that it was piss filled is because Kagome really needed to go. So, needless to say, this whole piss water situation was all Inuyasha's fault. Yes, he's seriously hurt her this time, ladies and gentlemen.
"This is all your fault, Inuyasha!" Kagome bitched as the others nodded in agreement.
"How?" Inuyasha asked mono-tonally, by now way too used to this bullshit.
"If you wouldn't have stepped on that ladybug on May 14th while eating ramen pizza in your feudal thong during a bi-annual orgy of blue feathered birds, none of this would have ever happened you baka bastard!"
"Yeah, Inuyasha, you should be ashamed of yourself," Miroku said calmly. "I'm going to take Kagome's side and bitch at you for two episodes until you feel guilty enough to apologize."
"Yeah," Shippo agreed, hopping on Miroku's shoulder like a fucking parrot, "and I'm going to tag along with you when you need to be alone and make your life a living hell until you go talk to Miroku, who will proceed to bitch at you for two episodes until you feel guilty enough to apologize!"
"What the hell am I even doing here?" Sango wondered out loud to herself "Oh, right, I'm Miroku's love interest. Ugh, groddy."
"Fine!" Inuyasha huffed, starting to walk away.
Inuyasha fell to the ground. Repeat this forty times. Before it could be repeated another forty times, Sesshomaru walked really, really slowly over to Inuyasha, with Jaken and Rin tagging along with him.
"AHH!" Kagome screamed. "It's Sesshomaru! Save me, Inuyasha! Before he cuts me up and we won't be able to have any adventures together anymore! Think of all the sits you'll miss!"
Inuyasha and Sesshomaru proceeded to have an old style western stand off. "Inuyasha," growled Sesshomaru.
"Sesshomaru," Inuyasha growled back.
"Okay, we get it, now both of you stop doing that." Miroku said, stepping between the brothers. "Sesshomaru, if you didn't come here to fight Inuyasha, what is this all about?" asked a certain annoying loud-mouthed pervert "man of reason" who should be castrated with a razor blade before he can force some 14 year old girl in Shart Jort village to bear his children.
"Inuyasha," began Sesshomaru, "I'm afraid that I must be the one to tell you that… our… OLDER SISTER… is coming to see us, Inuyasha."
"No… NOOOOOOOOO!" Inuyasha fell to his knees and screamed dramatically.
"What?" asked a confused Kagome "What is it? What's wrong with your sister? I'm sure, since it's all your fault, if you would just reason with her-"
Sesshomaru interrupted. "She's an annoying, dumb bitch who often comes on to us and tries to overshadow us in every possible way."
Inuyasha stood up. "She's a pest that always tortured us whenever we lived with dad! Her nickname is 'Daddy's Leaf Broke, Goddamnit.'"
Kagome folded her arms and gave the demon brothers the old stank eye. "Well, you two must have done something very horrible to her to cause her to act this way! NO FAIR! I demand that you go and apologize to her RIGHT THIS INSTANT, Inuyasha!"
"She isn't even here yet!" protested Inuyasha as Sesshomaru fought back a laugh at his whipped little brother.
"Then I'll SIT-" BOOM! "you until she gets here, serves you right for talking back to me, you big, stupid jerk! SIT SIT SIT SIT!"
The sitting continued until, just when Inuyasha was about to attempt to kill himself, who should come out of the blue but-
"Crap. It's our sister Inuyasha. It's O.C."
"HAY GUYZ" the cheerful demon-girl sang out from just behind Sesshomaru.
Inuyasha pulled himself out of the giant crater shaped just like him. "You're repugnant. Rot in hell."
"Oh, Inuyasha," she said, petting his head, "some things never change, do they?"
"We deeply hate you," Sesshomaru growled. "If you weren't our sister and if you weren't as powerful as a Greek god, we would have killed and skull raped you already. Please leave."
"Oh, be nice to her, you two!" whined Kagome.
"Oh, you guys always are just silly! It makes me laugh!" She then proceeded to laugh and pull both of the demons' ears. "Hey, how about we go for a skinny dip in a very small hot water pool I found on the way here? It's very uncomfortable and there's just enough height so that you and everyone else can see what great dog-demon boobs I have!"
"Augh, no damn way..." the two brothers said at the same time.
"Great, then, let's go!"
"We are not going," Sesshomaru said decisively.
"Yeah, and by the way, you look like Kate Moss naked," smirked Inuyasha.
"THEN I WILL CAUSE THE AIR AROUND YOUR HEADS TO BECOME WOOD WITH MY PSYCHIC POWER!" roared O.C., scaring the absolute dog shit out of the dog bros. "NOW LET'S GO!"
"Fine… we're going."
TO BE CONTINUED BEFORE ALL YOU FANGIRLS WET YOURSELVES TOO SOON
I PROMISE THIS IS THE LAST FANGIRL JOKE I'LL MAKE FOR A WHILE