Disclaimer: Own nothing at all.
Sirius decides to fill in his answers to those annoying, boredom-killing surveys that are flying around everywhere, with the bonus of the other Marauder's responses(will or wont be identified).

Rated just for some references and language. The fic is titled so because of a running question which will reappear... slight Sirius/Remus, slight James/Lily.

If The Cookie Jar Is Empty

1. Do you like cheese?
Oh yes! Cheese is delicious and only freaks don't like cheese. Ahem, James.

"This question is so overrated. And I do, too, like cheese!"
"I wasn't implying you don't like cheese. I was simply expressing my opinion that you are a freak… Oops, that's not an opinion, that's a fact."

2. How far can you spit a watermelon seed?
My record is 11 and a half feet if I can recall. I'm proud.

"Haha! Loser. Mine's 15 feet."
"Prongs, you lying cheater, you THREW it. It's not called watermelon seed spitting contest for nothing."

3. Have you ever gotten fanmail?
Of course! I get about 30 a day. Why? Because I'm Sirius Black!

"What was that, Prongs?"

4. Have you ever been pushed into a pool?
Well, I've been pushed into the lake because Prongs was pissed off at me, so I suppose he was trying to get back at me. But I actually had fun swimming with the Giant Squid.

"The Giant Squid only swam with you because it felt sorry that no one in this castle will sleep with you."
"WHAT?! That is the BIGGEST lie I've ever heard! I have proof! MOONY!"

5. Have you ever eaten sushi?
Sushi is utterly disgusting. I do not find the joy that other people do in consuming seaweed, raw fish, squid, shrimp or other various aquatic organisms.

"Says the man who dropped a bowl of oatmeal in a pile of what looked like owl droppings, scooped it back up and ATE it…"
"Those were NOT owl droppings, they were chocolate chips… weren't they…?"

6. What do you think of hot dogs?
Why thank you, I AM a hot dog! And Moony thinks so, too.

"…Of course I do."

7. What do you prefer to drink in the morning?
Here's a normal question and it comes with a normal answer. Pumpkin juice mixed with some coffee, a teaspoon of lemon juice and just a dash of mint. Oh, and salt.

"Normal? Who the hell drinks THAT?"
"Shut up, Potter."

8. Can you do push ups?
Sirius Black is wonderful at push ups. I can do 318 push ups in one minute, which is 318 more than James Potter can do.

"Hey! That's not true!"
"Then do some in three, two- NOW!"
"…Whoops, gotta go, bye!"

9. Favorite class in school?
Hmm… it's hard to say really. I hate all of them, but I excel at them all! I'll say Divination though, because in that class, you can make up a load of shit and no one will know.

"But it's Divination, won't the teacher KNOW, by some paranormal force, that you're lying?"
"Peter, shut up, you suck at EVERY class."

10. If the cookie jar is empty, who do you blame?
WHAT? My cookie jar is never emp- Holy shit! The cookies are gone! What do I do?!

"Calm down, Sirius, they're only coo-"
"Don't tell me they're ONLY cookies, Moony! You don't know ANYTHING! We had a BOND!"

A/N : hmm okay :U i think chapters/ questions/answers should be better as they progress. If you have suggestions for questions(general ones NOT relating to the potterverse, EX: how many times do you sneak out each week?), throw em at me and if I use something, I will credit you. (: