A/N: Haven't got much to say about this one except that it was loosely inspired by "You've Got Mail". You know, the bit where they're stuck in the elevator and each one says what they would do if they ever manage to get out. So, yeah...
Kurogane had never met another magician before Fai. He decided however that if other magicians were anything like the one he knew that he hated them all. If Fai was anything to go on, their mentalities, their very natures were completely infuriating. Tricks, lies, secrecy… the essence of the magician's being was entirely contrary to everything that Kurogane stood for. When Fai would turn his lazy sapphire eyes on the ninja, he seemed to be concealing something that he so longed to divulge but simply could not bring himself to. It drove Kurogane insane.
So when the swordsman noticed Fai looking over the top of a steaming cup of tea, watching him with those loathsome blue eyes of his, he felt his stomach clench because he knew that the wizard was going to say something and he knew that he was going to hate it. He swirled his own tea in his cup, watching it lap up against the sides of the white mug so he wouldn't have to look at that stupid face.
"I really envy you, Kurokuro," he said softly, a slight smile lingering on his lips. "Ever since the first time I met you, I've envied you…"
Kurogane looked up at him, frowning. That wasn't the kind thing he had been expecting him to say. "What the hell for?"
Fai watched him for another moment in silence before continuing. "…I don't think…I've ever known what I wanted. I mean…I have a vague idea, but…"
His expression was distant and thoughtful; an expression Kurogane realized that he rarely saw him wear, and when he did see it, it was only fleeting. He wished Fai would wear it more often. It suited him far better than that hideous fake smile. Kurogane felt a squeeze of disappointment in his gut when Fai seemingly noticed, just as he always did, that he was in danger of letting his mask slip and quickly looked up at the warrior, that stupid smile resurfacing.
"But Kurosama knows exactly what he wants, right?" Fai said lightly. He rested his elbows on the counter right across from where Kurogane was sitting, leaning forward slightly so that he could look him right in the eye. "I could tell from the minute you told your wish to Yuuko san."
"What about you?" the ninja growled. "You didn't seem to have any trouble deciding what to tell the witch that you wanted."
"True… but your wish had a clear purpose. You wanted to return home so that you could protect Tomoyo chan," Fai pointed out. "All I said was that I wanted to avoid going back home. That's considerably less clear cut, wouldn't you say?"
The two of them stared at one another, each searching the other's eyes for some hint as to what the other was really thinking. As he scanned those eyes, Kurogane found that the heavy, aching feeling he experienced towards Fai was not hate. In fact, it was just the opposite. If he had truly hated Fai, then his constant elusiveness wouldn't have bothered him as deeply as it did. It was because he longed for the sorcerer to be able to trust him that everything about him frustrated him so. The hand that he had thought was itching to strangle to blond actually just wanted to pull him close, feel his warmth, comfort him.
Kurogane, feeling slightly sick after this revelation, began swirling his tea again, watching it so that he wouldn't have to look at the blond as he muttered "But it's just as bad knowing what you want sometimes… if you can't make yourself reach out and take it."
Fai's face regained that thoughtful look, knowing that Kurogane was referring to some desire other than the one he had expressed to Yuuko. His smile became sardonic.
"But Kurotan has never been afraid to take what he wants." Fai's gaze grew distant again. "Whatever this thing is that Kuromin wants but is afraid to take…must be something very unusual."
"Tch. Whoever said that I was afraid?" Kurogane demanded.
"What else could possibly keep you from taking something that you really wanted?"
The ninja was silent as he mulled the accusation over. Oh god, he concluded eventually, I really am afraid…
"I must admit, though," Fai said suddenly, interrupting Kurogane's thoughts, "after spending so much time with Kurowanko… and Syaoran kun and Sakura chan who are all so sure about their wishes, I think I'm finally getting a clearer idea for myself. I think I might know what I want…"
He lifted his gaze once more and looked into the other man's eyes. Kurogane noticed that Fai's hand, which had slowly been inching towards his, had paused uncertainly and then clenched itself into a fist.
"But I'm in a bit of a pinch again because, like Kurochii said, I'm afraid to reach out and take it…"
He felt his stomach tighten with bitter disappointment once more. Fai sighed, straightening up and taking a drink of tea.
"It would be extremely selfish of me to take it… If I did, I would probably only end up destroying it. Perhaps it's better for me not to even try… to continue living in this illusion that I could have it if I only had the courage to take it."
Kurogane looked up at him, his intense scarlet eyes full of something that might have been pain. "…Why?"
Fai was silent and Kurogane could see that look of his again; the one where he seemed to be concealing something that he so longed to divulge but simply could not bring him self to. When he noticed that the swordsman was watching him intently, he quickly smiled again, though this smile looked distinctly sorrowful.
"I'm sorry, Kuropin," Fai replied. "A magician never reveals his secrets."