Disclaimer: I do not own Final Fantasy, Squall, or Seifer; I merely had an idea for a story.
Warnings: Angst, Lemons in later chapters, Yaoi, some OOC
Rain Chapter Four, The Walk
Squall had stepped in only to discover Seifer thrashing in his sleep, bathed in a cold sweat.
He immediately went to his side and shook him awake, as the rain pounded on the open balcony. He jumped back slightly as bright blue eyes shot open. Seifer looked stunned for a moment, before scrambling backwards off the bed. He stood and looked at Squall, fear evident in his eyes.
"Seifer?" Squall asked, moving a few steps closer to the wary blonde. It took him a moment to realise the blonde was looking at him, but not seeing him, he must have been seeing something else, something he remembered.
Seifer took a step back, his heart pounding much faster than in should be. There was Squall. Just like in his dream. Bleeding, broken, and looking at him with betrayal evident in sad eyes.
"I can't... I can't do this again!" He screamed, his head pounding, and his heart speeding to painful degrees. He eyed the open balcony and ran for it, seeking to end the pain.
Shit. Was Squall's only thought as he saw Seifer bolt. Glad that he was faster, he still barely managed to tackle Seifer to the ground before he reached the railing. The blonde fought his hold, and he grunted when a solid blow landed in his stomach, courtesy of Seifer's elbow. Finally, he managed to drag him into a headlock, before using his weight to pull him down to the ground against the wall.
He continued to struggle, fear and depression easily readable in his face. "Seifer, calm yourself, it isn't real, listen to my voice and come back to me. Come back to the real world."
Seifer slumped in Squall's hold, hearing the deep voice had brought him out of the illusion. The rain pelted his face, mixing with the tears that had gathered there. He didn't know why he was crying, he didn't know why he hurt like this. Breathing to stay alive burned his lungs and throat making him wanted to bury himself in the ground to escape it all.
He began to shake, not from cold, but from the sheer pain of his existence, his heart felt clamped in his chest, and his eyes were open, but not looking at anything.
He couldn't find words to speak, his voice carried with the wind and the rain into the earth below.
He felt the arm around his neck loosen its hold, before both arms wrapped around him and pulled him in a tight embrace. He could feel Squall; he could feel the warm, rain-soaked skin against his own, holding his body in place, holding him to reality.
Slowly, one muscle at a time, Seifer felt himself relax. He still shivered lightly, and tears still came to his eyes, but the pain in his chest had quieted to a dull ache.
He turned his head, leaning it against the strong chest behind him. He listened to Squall's heartbeat, the steady rhythm that told the world that the brunette was alive, the beat that Seifer could never get, but maybe if he listened for longer, he could pretend it was his own.
Squall didn't know what compelled him to hold Seifer, but he was glad he did when the panting slowed, and the shaking slowed to the occasional shiver. He arranged himself a bit better so he was leaning more on the wall behind him.
He felt, rather than heard, when Seifer spoke. "Sorry Seifer, I didn't catch that."
The blonde pulled back a bit so that his voice wouldn't be muffled in Squall's chest. The brunette looked into the bloodshot-blue eyes before Seifer broke his gaze and looked down at his hands.
"How can you do this..." He said, barely a whisper.
"Do what?" Squall asked, slightly confused.
"Sit here with me! Stay with me even after the horrible things I've done. Things I've done to your friends! What I've done to you! But, you're here, and you've been here for me forever, but why? How can you look my in the eyes and not want to kill me?! Why can't you hate me?!" Seifer closed his eyes tightly.
Squall blinked in surprise, before choosing his next words. This had to be done right if he didn't want his feelings to be known, and he still had a viable answer.
"I did, for a time. When you left us, I wouldn't have hesitated killing you on first site, it wouldn't even matter the circumstance. However, I soon came to realise that it was for me to determine who deserved second chances. I'm still trying to forgive you for leaving, and betraying us, but I do understand that whatever reasons you had in your mind, were valid for you. That I shouldn't judge based on what someone did in their lifetime, but rather, what they will do with the time that they have. In answer to your question, no, I do not hate you, and you would be hard pressed now to give me a reason too."
Seifer froze completely, "I wouldn't have blamed you for killing me, or judging me. You should have done both. You are more of a friend than I should ever deserve."
Squall looked at him curiously, "Seifer...what...what did you see when you slept?" He had to know what had brought this on, he knew it would be hard for him to hear, but in order to help Seifer, he wanted to know what he was afraid of.
Seifer broke from Squall and stood. Squall immediately stood up too, fearing he had said the wrong thing.
"Do you remember... the desert prison?" Seifer said slowly.
Squall turned away. He remembered. Of course he remembered. The tears, the pain, the begging, the malice, the blade that left a permanent scar on his left arm. He remembered. He felt tears begin to fall from his eyes, at the memory of the emotional betrayal he felt, heartbroken. His fists clenched and his shoulders began to shake lightly.
"Squall? I'm sorry I-"
"No, it's okay. I'm sure remembering it for you, is as bad as it is for me." Squall turned back, a sad smile still on his face as his eyes locked onto Seifer's.
"Is it too late to apologize?"
"It won't be until I'm dead."
"I'm so sorry."
Squall couldn't hold back his tears now; they cascaded down his face, even as he tried to brush them away with the back of his hand. His eyes widened as he felt his face pressed to a muscled chest and arms wrap around him tightly.
"I'm so very sorry..."
"Apology accepted." Squall answered, his own arms wrapped tightly around Seifer's back.
"Squall, I need a friend tonight, I can't go back in there alone, and I can't see that again..." Squall could hear the worry in Seifer's voice that he was going to be abandoned.
"Idiot, I'm not going to make you go alone, you deserve better than being isolated with your demons."
He walked forward, pulling Seifer with him. Soon they were both in the bed, in dry clothing. Seifer hadn't let go of Squall at all if he could help it, but sometimes it was required.
When they finally got into bed, Seifer practically crushed Squall in his arms.
Squall didn't care, there was a time that he would've done anything to be where he was now, and he wasn't about to let the opportunity pass. He snuggled in slowly, resting his head under Seifer's chest, before following him into sleep.
I don't know what is happening at all in this story. Worrying I know. I have a certain point that I want to get across, and a I have two events that I really want to happen, but it'll take some wind-up, so I hope your here for the long haul.