Many stories have been written about Ron stepping up, improving himself. This story is about Kimbo's reaction to that improvement. As the tale progresses, the title will make sense. Enjoy.
The lithesome redhead bounced at the window until her friend's hand halted her. "He's here, Monique, that's his plane." She announced nervously.
"Chill and still, girlfriend, you can't get any closer jumping up and down. He'll be here in a minute." Her grin broke out in spite of her best efforts.
"But...but...what if he's changed his mind, Mo?" Kim's exuberance left her, her shoulders slumped. "I mean, he's been gone almost as long as we've been BFGF. What if he..." Kim's eyes flared, "And...and that...that Yori! She was there the whole time! What if she...and then he...I...I..."
Monique stopped the rapidly escalating flow by the simple expedient of placing her hand firmly over her friend's mouth. "OK, Kim, CDAT. This is Ron we're talking about, right? Just nod, don't talk." Kim's head moved up and down. "The boy has been yours for what, fourteen years now? I really don't think a five week absence is going to change that. Besides, you've talked to him every week, right?"
"But just once a week," Kim mumbled from behind Monique's hand. "We're used to talking every day, every night, what if he..."
"Kim, you talked to him last night before his plane left." Monique sighed, "Did he sound any different?"
"Well, no, but..."
"No buts, just have a little patience. He'll be here laying a huge smacker on you in just a few minutes."
Kim nodded, eyes wide.
"Maybe that'll calm you down, or at least get your juices running for a different reason." Mo muttered.
Mo's glance sharpened as she stared past Kim's shoulder. "Never mind me, I do believe our wandering boy is...Whoa, mama!" Her eyes opened wide as her jaw dropped.
"What?" Kim whirled to look out from the promenade to the disembarking area; immediately focusing on one person. "Yep, that's my guy. Same messy hair, same cute ears, same...same..." Her expression matched Monique's. "What happened to him?"
"I don't know, but I have got to get me a BF and then send him wherever Ron's been." Monique whispered.
"Got that right." Kim agreed as she stared down at her returning boyfriend. Same sloppy sneakers, same baggy cargo pants, but the usual red jersey was missing. Ron was wearing only his mock turtle neck undershirt. A black shirt that seemed to her to be painted onto a rock hard ab and toned shoulders. "What..." Before she could continue, a man in a pilots uniform ran out and stopped Ron. "Oh no, what trouble has he gotten into now?" She moaned.
"I don't think it's trouble." Monique answered unnecessarily.
The pilot turned Ron to face the exiting passengers, like a receiving line. As the others left, some shook Ron's hand, some patted his shoulder, one woman with a baby reached up and kissed his cheek.
"I have got to find out the story behind that." Monique exclaimed. "C'mon girlfriend, we can meet him at the baggage carousel." Dragging Kim behind her, she headed for the exit.
"There he is." Kim pointed, and began to edge through the crowd to her BF. Before she could greet him, a petite woman in a stewardess' uniform ran up, wrapped her arms around his neck, and pulled him into a passionate kiss. Ron's arms flapped like flags before descending onto her waist, whether to pull the woman close or push her away, Kim hadn't decided, when the woman pulled back. "Now, sugah, don't ya'll be a stranger, y'heah? Ya'll just come by any ole time and pick up your things, I'll be waitin'." With a final peck on the nose, and a soft giggle, the stewardess turned and sashayed off.
Ron stood, hands to his sides, mouth gaping, eyes wide when he heard a breathy voice in his ear, "And who was that?"
"That was Chantilly Lace, and that's what she wears, too." Ron said dreamily.
"And how do you know that?" The voice went from breathy to glacial in six small words.
"I know that voice, somewhere I know...that..." "KP!" Ron whirled, reaching to hug his girlfriend, only to be met by a strong stiff arm in the chest.
"Hold on there, buster, what do you think you're doing?"
"Uhhh...trying to hug my BFGF?"
"It looks like your GF just left!" Ron could swear there were emerald sparks spitting from the eyes glaring up into his.
"Ah...about that...yeah, see that wasn't at all what you might have thought you saw when you really didn't see it."
"What?" Kim growled.
Ron rubbed his neck, "See, KP, the only reason I know what kind of panties she wears is because I got a glimpse when I tossed her skirt up and took her stockings off."
Ron rewound what he had just said. His face paled, "Ah... I'm just shutting up now."
Kim advanced menacingly. Ron retreated until his calves bumped the baggage carousel.
"You are not shutting up, Ronald David Stoppable! You are gong to..."
"Whoa, whoa, time out." Monique stepped up to the two. "What say we grab Ron's bags and head for Bueno Nacho? We can get this all straightened out there."
Kim whirled on her friend. "If you think I'm leaving until..."
"Kim," Monique interrupted the beginning tirade, "the FAA frowns on blood and destruction in it's airports. BN is used to you two. Now come on."
Kim's mouth opened and closed, then she stomped towards the exit. Ron grabbed his single bag, and followed. Mouthing a silent "Thank you, thank you, thank you, thank you." to Monique.
Sitting in their usual booth, Kim glared across the table at her boyfriend. Beside her, Monique tried semi-hard to stifle her snickers. Ron's eyes looked everywhere but at her, then settled with a gleam on the pile of nacos Ned had just placed in front of him. He reached for his first bite of heaven, only to have the tray jerked away.
"Talk!" Kim demanded.
"Ah, KP, they'll get cold, and you know how cold nacos are." Ron whined.
"As fast as you scarf them down, I doubt you've ever had to eat one cold before." Kim snipped, "It'll be a new taste for you. Now talk."
Ron stared wistfully at his cooling snack, then glared at his encroaching little buddy, "Rufus, if I have to wait, you have to wait."
"Rufus isn't the one talking here." Kim snapped. "Here, Rufy, dig in." She cooed softly, placing the order of double cheese nachos in front of the hairless rodent.
"minc, my pal" Rufus grinned, giving Ron a loud raspberry before diving head first into the plate.
Ron gave Rufus one last betrayed glare before reaching one hand back to rub his neck. "See, KP, there was this leak on the plane, and everybody was panicking, and I remembered.." He paused, "as a matter of fact, this is all your fault."
"MY FAULT?" Kim glowered, "and how is miss southern peach lip smacking MY BF my fault?"
"See, remember when we were going undercover at that swank hotel and the plane sprung a hydraulic leak and you patched it with a gum wrapper and a spare pair of pantyhose and it worked and everybody thought it was great and we still got the mission done and then we...huh..uh...uh"
Kim placed her fingers on Ron's mouth, silencing him. "Remember to breath, Ron." She chided, "Ok, so I remember the mission, what has that got to do with this?"
"Wellll, one of the hoses on the plane sprung a leak, and it was squirting everywhere. I remembered what you did, and I just did the same thing." Ron looked at Kim and Monique happily, sure that they would understand. "Now can I eat?" He reached for one paper wrapped goodie.
Monique was shaking her head as Kim reached to slap Ron's hand away. "That's it?"
"Well, yeah," Ron massaged his hand, "what else is there?"
Kim felt slightly gob smacked but knowing her BF, persisted. "How about how you know what kind of lace that...that..." she drew a deep breath, "What kind of panties she was wearing?"
Ron looked at Kim as if she had asked him whether or not he liked nacos, "But, Kim, I don't wear pantyhose."
"I know you don't, Ron," Kim managed with her rapidly declining patience, "But what does that have to do with anything?"
"I didn't have a spare pair in my backpack." Ron explained.
"Of course you didn't, so where did you get...you didn't?" Kim gasped.
Monique began choking, "You mean you knocked that girl down and stole her pantyhose?"
Kim's eyes began to fire up, "You mean she just let you take them off?"
"Of course not, Monique, I asked her for her pantyhose." Ron said rightously, inching his hand toward the nacos.
"Ron," Kim managed, "You said you tossed her skirt up, now how did that happen?"
"She wouldn't give them to me, just looked at me like I was weird or something and said she wasn't wearing any."
"Well, I knew that wasn't true, 'cause I could see her legs."
"Ron, what did you do?" Kim said from quivering lips.
"I needed a pair of pantyhose," Ron said indignantly, "I didn't know why she was lying to me, when I could see them on her legs, so I tripped her and threw her skirt up to get them."
Ron's surreptitious fingers had managed to unwrap one naco without being stopped. "And she wasn't lying to me, she wasn't wearing pantyhose." He began to ease the treat out of its wrapping.
"Hey, she wasn't lying to me, she had stockings on."
"And...and...you stole them?" Monique managed.
"Borrowed, Mo, borrowed." Ron's prize was almost in his grasp.
"And...and then..." Kim quavered.
"I wasn't real sure what to do, I mean I only saw you do it with pantyhose, but I figured one stocking would do, so I pulled one of hers off, grabbed a plastic wrap, tied it around the hose, and the plane leveled out. See, all your fault, KP." Before his girlfriend could close her dropped jaw and react, Ron snatched his prize and in one massive chomp, pushed the naco in his mouth.
This was a suggestion from Zaratan, a plot he didn't have time to develop. Stay tuned for chapter two:
"Ron Saves Kim's Wardrobe" or "Beat me, Baby, I'm yours."