Before anything I want to give thanks to:
Hinata6:how fitting that you are my first reviewer ever!
chibismiles5266: thank you sadly it doesn't stay cute!
cygnet411:I hope I updated fast enough! Thanks for the review!
HunterAzrael not to worry she won't thanks for the review!
grimCapitalist, oh my glob you were told by friends you have no idea how happy that makes me! I hope you re-read it after I updated it! Thank you for the review!
Hinata FanFreak .12: yes I do know what you mean that's why I'll never make Sakura a heroine in any of my stories, Hinata all the way! Thanks for the review!
KoreanGal5: I did I hope you read it already and sort of liked it! Thanks so much for the review!
So I finally decided to re-write my lame ass first fan-fiction, I just couldn't stand it anymore! You guys are nice to say that you like it just fine before, but I must change: Just a Thought, I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I left it like how it was before.
I'm sorry Gaara's Little Girl but I must change it!
Chapter 1: What do you look for in a Friend?
All my life the word "no" has constantly been spoken to me. Before anything else I hear "No," or "You must not" and "You are prohibited" I hate those words more than anything. They limit me in everything, even if I don't have the seal on my forehead like my cousin Neji, I still feel like a caged bird…I don't know how he can live with this burden…
"No, Hinata-sama you mustn't slouch like that," I find myself sitting up straight just like I was taught.
It hurts to sit like this…
"No, Hinata-sama you mustn't cry in front of the guests present here tonight. It'll disgrace your family," another maid whispers in my ear. "You must show nothing. You are prohibited from showing any sort of reaction."
I find myself biting my tongue. I'm prohibited to show feelings now too…this is too much! I can't be told this, it isn't right!
I look away with a blank look as I gaze out towards the guests, and notice a kid from school. I see the class heart throb over by his mother; he looks bored as I watch him. He came with his parents but Sasuke Uchiha didn't even look at me or say anything. He probably doesn't remember me…I get that a lot you know.
No one can really remember me for some reason, I don't mind though, I rather not be seen then actually noticed. I don't know why I feel like this but I do.
All my life I've been locked away in the compound, no one is allowed to speak to me you know…only those of high standings in the Hyuga family are allowed. Not even my cousin Neji is allowed to speak with me, once when we were younger, I was in love with him…at least I think it was love.
I'm still not sure what that word means. I've heard many people explain it differently, everyone has a different view on it, I have none…
Because I'm not loved, I know that, at the age of six I know that no one loves me enough to protect me…there is no one in this world that loves me enough to help me…to take me away from here…
But I could never get away anyways…I'm too much of a weakling…
"You won't amount to anything if all you do is cry," I nod.
"Hinata-sama, you must go and welcome the Uchiha family or it'll make the main family look terrible. Seems to me that Hiashi-sama is walking over to you so go follow after him, all right?" I hear my primary sensei from the Hyuga's say from behind; I nod and lower my head. Instead of following my father I sneak outside, it's so…I feel like I'm suffocating in there. I just need to breathe; I walk to my swing and go on it.
I lost my mom when Hanabi was born, I don't remember what she looked like, but I can remember how it felt to be in her presence, there was this warmth…and this sense of love…it…did it…I mean it's gone… now everything is just cold and forgotten.
Its how I feel, the way the house feels is the same as me.
It's depressing; I'm like a house…a thing that has no life…
That's who I' am; isn't it?
I'm just something, that isn't allowed to show feelings or thoughts; I'm supposed to follow everything I'm told without being difficult.
But that's my nature, I'm told something and I accept it without complaining or arguing, I just nod my empty head agreeing with everything I'm told.
"You're a doll, aren't you?" I nod.
"You're stupid and ugly right?" I nod.
"You're a worthless heir, aren't you?" I nod.
"You don't feel anything, right?" I nod.
"You're alone aren't you?" I nod.
"You're like the moon, right?" I nod.
"You're cold and pathetic," I nod.
Why am I just always agreeing with everything? Have I lost my voice to say "no" back? Or did I never have it in the first place?
I'm not like the sun…I'm the moon; silent and gray. I don't mind, the moon is really bright in its own way, I mean it lights up the world at night, right? The moon is pretty in its own way.
I like the moon, not the sun.
Why was that name giving to me? It doesn't matter; I just look up at the night sky still amazed at how something so silent can light up the world.
I begin to hum a song as I smile up at the moon. I just hope my dad doesn't get angry because I didn't follow after him.
I leave the party to come out to the garden. I let out a sigh and loosen my bow-tie. I look back inside the mansion to see my mom and dad talking to some man that looked to be important. I look up at the night sky and think, brother, when will you get here and help me leave this stuffy party? I let out another sigh.
I just stand here, hands in my tuxedo pant pockets, looking up at the night sky.
I look towards a tree in the distance and there on the swing of said tree is a girl, I can hear her humming a song. I should go back into the party but; mom and dad seem to be too busy talking to that man.
I make my way slowly towards the girl to talk to her hopefully she's not one of those so called fan girls.
I keep going towards the girl who has short dark blue hair. She seems small from behind. Her short dark hair is in a low bun with a few short strands that curl around her head. She has on a traditional kimono a big gold bow on the back, and it's a light aqua with cherry blossom tress in white and gold, plus she seems to have left her shoes somewhere close by because she doesn't have any on.
I walk quietly towards her so I won't scare her too much, but just as I thought this I step on a twig, great I'm an awesome ninja academy student and I'm stupid enough to step on a twig!
She turned suddenly to look at me with wide pale lavender eyes, she looks surprised not scared at all.
Weird! We stay like this just staring at one another not saying anything just looking into each other's eyes.
"Do I know you?" I ask her truly perplexed not remembering where I've seen her before. Her eyes become wider and she smiles a small shy smile.
"Y-yes, we-e are in the same class in the a-academy, I-I-I'm Hinata Hyuga," she answers me in a soft voice.
"Really? I don't remember you," I tell her, a sad smile appears on her lips.
"Y-yes I-I get that a-a lot," she says in the same voice.
"Oh?" is all I'm able to say.
"Y-you're the g-genius, Sasuke Uchiha." I don't say anything I just keep staring at her, trying to remember why I've never noticed her before.
"What are you doing here?" I ask her in a harsher tone then I intended. She gets off the swing to stand a couple of feet away from me. She puts her hands in front of her but; I could only see movement under the sleeves not the actual hands.
"W-w-well I-I-I live h-here," she says in a even lower voice then before, I actually had to lean in to hear her.
"Really?" she just nods. What does he want? Hinata thinks to herself as she looks at the ground, not wanting to look at him.
"You are the only person my age at this stupid party. Just my luck, plus you had to be a girl too!" He says to me in a bored, disgusted voice as he sits on the swing facing me. Good thing it's dark enough so that he can't see how bright red my face is!
"T-t-that's n-n-not true m-my cousin-n N-Neji is here. H-he is o-one y-year older t-then us. H-he is b-better then y-you." I put one of my hands over my mouth; I wish I never said that, I probably hurt his feelings.
"Pft. The only people better then I are my dad and my brother Itachi."
"T-t-that's n-not t-true! T-the Hokage, Jounin a-and the Ch-Chunnin a-are better than y-you-u t-too!" This is the first time I've actually argued with someone it's a weird, cool feeling.
"Pft, fine but, it still doesn't' mean your cousin Genji is better than me."
"H-his n-name is Neji."
"Whatever, his name is. It doesn't matter I'm still better," with that they both stay quiet, one of them looking at the ground and the other one watching her.
"Hey, why are you so shy?" she doesn't look up at me as she answers.
"I-it's b-because t-that's w-who I-I' am. I-I-I guess it h-has to d-do with m-my u-upbringing, I-I-I w-was a-always i-isolated f-from e-everyone."
"Why?" I ask the simple question because I don't understand this need to find out more about her.
"W-well b-be-because I-I'm s-supposed to be t-the h-heir of the H-Hyuga m-main b-br-branch. B-but I-I don't t-h-think it-it'll h-happen n-now." I tell him with my gaze on the ground because I don't want him to see the hurt in my eyes.
"B-because I-I'm we-weak a-and a-a failure."
"Yeah, you look it." Now it's my turn to let out a sigh.
Instead of defending me he agrees. He doesn't even know me! How could he say that? I should say something but, I'm too shy and I don't like to disagree. He just stays quiet; I look up to see if he's still there. He is but, he's looking up at the stars. I let out another sigh. I envy him, he unlike me, actually has talent.
"When someone says something mean to you, you're supposed to argue back, disagreeing what they told you," he says all high-and-might.
"I-I don't-t l-like-e to-o f-i-fight," I respond in a whisper, but he acts as if he doesn't hear me as he looks up at the moon. Does he like the moon more than the sun too?
"W-h-why a-are you he-here?" I ask him quietly.
"My parents were invited; they said I was too young to stay home alone. But, my brother is going to come get me so I could leave this stupid party. He returns from his mission today." I wish I could leave too! It's weird that no one has come looking for me. I'm fine with it, I hate being shown around and presented to everyone. I hate it because I just blush and stammer. Once again we stay quiet not saying anything, it isn't uncomfortable silence but, we are both at ease in it. I relax and look up at the night sky; I also stop playing with my hands under my kimono's sleeves. I close my eyes and breathe in the cold night air. I open my eyes to find his watching me. I feel myself blush a deep red and I once again thank the darkness of the night.
"Do you have any friends?" I shake my head.
"N-no, just like y-you," he stays quiet watching me. "A-all the g-girls th-think yo-your good looking bu-but, yo-you d-don't let an-anyone close to-to you. We-we are b-both l-loners," I finish quietly. He still doesn't open his mouth to say anything but we both keep our eye contact. As I break the eye contact to see a small, very small smile come across his lips, I blink to make sure I wasn't just imagining it, but, when I opened them it was gone and his face was once again angry.
"Do you like it?" he asks me softly.
"Yes," is all I say.
"What kind of friend are you looking for?" He asks me his face and eyes showing a bit of interest but, he kept his voice bored, I smile on the inside.
"Well I-I'd n-need some-someone who would push m-me harder, h-help me t-r-train. Also someone w-who'd need me, I-I'm a really g-good listener. I'd a-also like someone who is a loner b-because, w-we'd u-understand each other and I-I'd make t-h-that person happy. T-that's all I-I'd really want," I tell him softly. I don't look at him but, keep my gaze on the ground.
"Do you have anyone in mind?" he asks me in an angry voice. I look up suddenly blinking rapidly, my mouth a bit open, my hands go up to my mouth, I keep blinking wondering if I should say anything, then I decide I should.
"You," I tell him softly it's almost as if the night wind carried the word to him. He doesn't look surprised but in his eyes I see interest and need. I don't say anything and I wait for him to say something to me.
I never knew that this one little word would change me and my world forever.
If I had the chance…would I change what I just said…
No…I'd never change…I'd keep everything the same…every single feeling and thought…
I wouldn't change it, not even if I was given the World in exchange…