"Hey, Stunt," said Bumper. "We should have sex."
The berserker and the blond theif both stopped dead in their tracks. "WHAT?" they both said.
"I mean it!" insisted Bumper. "By the way, I'd prefer being on top, but if you'd like to, then you can... you know..." he trailed off suggestively.
"Man, this is all kinds of wacked-up, yo," muttered the barbarian. "If youse two is gonna get it on, I'm leaving."
He threw down his axe and walked off with his nose wrinkled as if he had just smelled something disgusting.
"Oh, I see!" beamed Stunt. "You pretended we were gay to scare off that big guy! Pretty sneaky, Bumper."
Bumper looked crestfallen for a second, but quickly faked a smile. "Yeah, I guess I'm just smart like that."
Stunt picked up the axe and inspected it closely. "Check it out! This has a gem in the handle! Once we get to the next town, drinks are on me!"
"Best friends forever!" Stunt and Bumper shouted gleefully in unison. They leapt in the air and high-fived each other. Then Stunt ducked down and Bumper flipped over his head, high-fiving again while Bumper flew through the air. When Bumper landed, they tapped their fists together, then hooked pinkies and shook up and down quickly. With their secret handshake completed, they walked off side-by-side through the forest.
"Hand off my ass, Bumper."
TO BE CONTINUED