This is just a cute little humor oneshot I wrote for Scribbles Editor/LyricalT in exchange for a Mari picture. Be warned, this has (implied) slash, and is funny, but in a kind of stupid way.

Disclaimer: I do not own Maximum Ride

"What are you doing here?" Fang's voice was incredulous.

"Sorry, bird-boy, didn't know you owned this bar." A fifteen-year-old Ari popped the cap off his beer and drained half of it.

"That's not what I meant…But why are you here?" Fang also had a beer in him and was considerably feeling more mellow than usual.

"You tell me why you aren't off with dearest Maximum and I'll tell you why I'm here."
Fang sighed. "Max and I had a fight. She thinks I don't…" He trailed off, realizing that he didn't want to tell the reason for his fight to his arch nemesis in a crowded bar.

Ari pressed the matter, saying, "Don't what?"

Lowering his voice to a whisper, Fang replied, "Let her be on top enough."

Ari laughed. "If I were you, I'd be happy enough just to be able to sleep with her at all, she could be on top whenever she damn well pleased to."
Fang's reply laugh was bitter. "Well, you haven't seen her on top. I have bruises for a week. Best sex on the planet, but it burns. So, why are you here?"

Ari groaned. "I live with a bunch of other Erasers and Max 2, right? Well, since all of them have a life-mate and have been humping like mad, there's baby Erasers, and lots of them. Right now, four litters of five pups each and two on the way, plus the adults and a few elders, and Max 2, who's on-and-off with a younger male Eraser, so I give them about a month before she's knocked up. Since there's so many Erasers crammed into the house, they decided that they would have to kick someone out, and since I'm not an elder, and I don't have a life-mate or any pups, they thought that I would have the easiest time finding somewhere else to live. So I went home tonight, and guess what, my key no longer worked and all my stuff was in a bag on the front porch. Basically, I'm homeless."

Fang gave a nod of sympathy (He had, during Ari's pity speech, ordered and drained another beer). "Sucks."

"I know." Ari now had several empty beer bottles in front of him, and was guzzling another eagerly. "I just need to get hammered."

"Me too."

Several beers later, Fang had, for some reason, asked Ari to come back to his and Max's apartment, and Ari had agreed.

Neither were quite sure how they had ended up in the bedroom.

The way they got to the bed was unknown to both parties.

And to be honest, neither actually cared what had caused them to start making out, though the six-odd beers they had consumed were probably contributing factors. Neither Ari nor Fang had gotten laid in the past month, and they had reached the point where gender was meaningless when it came to potential partners.

When Max walked in Fang was naked, and Ari's jeans were working their way down his thighs.

She froze in the doorway, staring at them, totally dumbfounded. "Oh my God."

They pulled apart quickly, both blushing furiously. Fang stuttered, "Max, I can explain-"

She held up a hand to stop him. "Hold that thought." She ran from the room, and a moment later, returned with her video camera and tripod in hand. The pair watched, confused, as Max set up the tripod, placed the camera on it, and turned it on, setting it to record. She grinned, looking at the two males on her bed. "May I join in?"

They scooted apart eagerly as she quickly removed her clothes, then sat between them on the bed, pulling both men in to her, Ari in front and Fang behind.

"Now," She said in a very satisfied voice. "You may begin."