1"You just couldn't love me," Cameron said as she walked away.
I watch her go, sighing at the sight. Remember the softness of her voice, the understanding in her eyes. God she is so beautiful. Is she right? Is it that I can't love her? Or is it that I just can't love anyone anymore. Did Stacy use me all up?
I look at her with her husband, they are good together. He is a bigger man than me, he can forgive. That is one thing I just couldn't bring myself to do. Why? She thought she was doing the best for me. Saving my life. She probably did, but to what end?
I'm empty, bitter and alone. I can't seem to feel anything but numbness and pain. I guess I like Wilson but I don't feel love as a friend. I tolerate him. Chase, Foreman, nothing. They're just here, taking up space. I know they don't like me either, who gives a damn. I'm not here to hold their hands; I'm here to teach them how to be the best doctors they can be. Then there's Cameron...
Cameron. So kind and caring, so NICE. It actually makes me sick. NO ONE is that nice. She is all puppy dog eyes and little shy smiles; though she doesn't give me those smiles much anymore. Who could blame her, but I actually miss them. I almost wish I could be what she wants me to be. I wish I was what she thought I was. Deep, thoughtful and good hearted under all the shit. She is wrong. I'm not like that at all. What you see is what you get.
I was put on this Earth for one reason alone and it has nothing to do with LOVE. It is about saving lives. That is what I do. It is my blessing and it is my curse. People think to do what I do, you have to care about the people you are saving. I don't. I don't give a shit if Mark lives or dies, I just wanted to know what was making him sick. Now I know. I'm done with him. Go, get out of my life... and take your wife with you. Take her back to you perfect life together.
She comes here and tells me that "I was the one." Then why the FUCK did she run. If I was the one, then why couldn't we make it work? I'm the reason why. Maybe she wasn't MY one. Maybe I don't have a one, or maybe I just haven't given the RIGHT one a fair chance...