"Retard!"

"Moron!"

"Loser!"

"Brat!"

"Jerk!"

All was well with the world. The sun was shining, birds chirped from the leafy limbs of the trees around Tokyo. Traffic was good today, and the weather mild. Teens sat happily crunching their candy bars, sipping their soft drinks and playing their video games. Older students sat whispering quietly in their booths, eyes focused on those they had brought with them. The smell of burgers wafted through the air, mixed with chocolate and fries. The sounds of life thriving outside the small arcade permeated the building, only echoing those same signs from within as children laughed happily and joked with one another.

And, once again, the two greatest arch foe's of all Tokyo were locked in an epic battle of wit and agility as they glared angrily at one another.

"Why do you always act like such a baby!?" Mamoru growled, not in the least intimidated by a 5 and a half foot school girl in uniform. She huffed, straightening and glaring as she did.

"I am most definitely not a baby, Mamo-baka, unless you're so used to the old and decrepit." Motoki grinned, reaching up to change the score board he'd recently had installed for just this occasion. At first, he had been concerned that the paying customers would find such fighting annoying, but since many of them had come simply to watch the spectacle, he prided himself on keeping score for the end-of-the-day tally and bids. He was a business man, after all, and holding bets on the two was as unpredictable as they come. Seeing his edge slip just a bit, Mamoru retaliated with as much heat as he could muster.

"Yes, I'm usually found helping the venerated, instead of crashing into them or stealing their lunch!" It had been nearly three months to the day that the test paper had come crashing against his head, and that meant this particular battle would be a no-holds-barred duel to the death! Since then, they had met on Mondays, Wednesdays, and Fridays to duke it out one-on-one in the Crown arcade. Saturdays were more unpredictable, as there was no real telling when either one would walk through the door. While school was in session on weekdays, though, it was an appointment locked in the minds of the duo like eating and sleeping. Motoki marked one up for Mamoru's side and sat back with interest, Usagi was very much on top of her game today, so the retort would no doubt be as cutting as they all hoped it would be.

"Oh please, Mamo-baka, like you'd actually help anyone other than yourself. People three times your age can't be nearly as much fun to tease than people half it." Usagi crossed her arms and sneered, standing directly in front of the college student to wait for his rebuttal. With all this practice she was getting, now would have been a fantastic time in Usagi's life to join the speech and debate team. Unfortunately, such would mean even more time after school that she couldn't spend playing video games or eating. Not to mention the fact that she had other extracurricular activities to tend to.

"You're probably right, Odango. I have no doubts you'd do the same to babies if given half a chance." Mamoru shot back, a little irritated she hadn't left herself more open to insult. They'd been at it for a good ten minutes now, well into the pleasurable part where they could simply show their wit and be done with it, instead of yelling and screaming as they had done a few minutes ago.

"Hey, I love babies and little kids! I would never do anything to make them cry! But I'm sure all it would take from you is a look before any child would burst into tears." Oh yeah, today was definitely her day! One glance at the scoreboard placed her three points in the lead! No way would that idiot beat her now –especially with the fact that there was a Senshi meeting at the temple in ten minutes. No, it was far too close to the end for him to make up the points before the end.

"Of course you love them, Odango Atema! They're on the same IQ level and everything. It makes the conversations so much easier to follow for you." Darn, he cursed silently, knowing he would have a long shot to win this particular battle today before she ran off with her little friends. He would have to step things up a notch to get her really irritated. She was in the lead, it was true. But knowing how quick Mamoru was at thinking of things, this would soon no longer be a problem. Usagi glared back at him, mind spinning as she tried to think of something that would wipe that smug look of satisfaction off his face.

"Speaking of IQ, how low has yours dropped this morning to be losing so badly to an 'Odango Atema' today?" Oh yeah! Motoki-onii-san gave her two points for that one! She was trying not to grin as someone cheered from the crowd. Mamoru's eyes went icy cold as he took a step forward. He admitted rather grudgingly that that particular card was well played. Angry at himself for the exact same reason, he mused why he wasn't quite on edge today.

"Oh, its so easy to think you're winning when you have a cheering section of stupid jr high kids and their younger siblings." Oh, no good! He had to turn the attention back to Usagi, not the crowd! Bad Chiba, bad! "Of course if you really need that crutch, I guess you can use it like the weakling you are." Usagi was mad. In fact, Usagi was furious. He not only had the gall to attack her, but the crowd? That was below the belt and way over the line. Tsk, tsk, Mamo-baka, that's not how to win the game!

"Oh, poor Mamo-baka's jealous that I have fans and he doesn't. Well, unless you call those bimbos from the college fans. I bet you don't even call them that do you? Just cheap entertainment." Motoki actually covered his mouth as he thought about the innuendo there. Mamoru looked absolute horrified for a moment before shaking his head and chuckling. No doubt she'd let that one fly on the premise of the bystanders for his earlier offence. Although, he admitted rather sheepishly, it was a pretty good one. Instead of glaring back, he locked eyes with her again, this time keeping them as sultry as possible.

"Is that jealousy I detect in your voice, Odango?" She flushed, taking a step back. That most definitely was not what she expected him to say! Seeing he finally had the advantage, he walked forward enough to force her to crane her neck back. "I'd give you a reference, but then they'd have to lower their prices so someone would pay for you." Another hand met Motoki's mouth over top the first and he let out a strangled sound as Usagi's eyes widened. Surely that was on the other side of the world as far as propriety went. There was no way anyone could have seen this particular turn, and Usagi would never stand for it.

"Are you actually insinuating I would allow some pervert like you to touch me at any price?" her utter humiliation and anger gave her all the courage she needed at that point and she shoved a finger in his chest, causing him to falter. "On top of that, are you telling me that any guy wouldn't pay top dollar for me if I were to?! I bet there are tons of guys out there that would just love to help themselves!" at his answering sneer, she did the unthinkable and turned to the arcade. Mamoru felt every hair on his body stand up the second she opened her mouth and he had to force himself not to move as she spoke. "Alright boys, who here would just love a chance to fondle me to his heart's content?"

At this, Motoki's eyes rolled back in his head and he fell limply from his seat beside the score board. Ami, Rei, Mako and Minako stared in open mouth shock. Surely she couldn't seriously be saying this to a bunch of hormone driven boys in an arcade, was she?! The second the offer came up, things went a little bit…crazy. Hands started rising from all corners of the dining area and some were even standing up. Ok, Usagi's mind flew out the window, now she hadn't actually expected there to be many at all! One would have proven her point, but from the looks of things, everyone wanted a piece. Mamoru felt his own shock deepen as he stared at the lithe little girl in front of him. Surely she had to be completely insane! Who on earth wouldn't pass up a gorgeous blond with a body that should have only been seen between the glossy pages of a Victoria's Secret catalogue.

Her eyes went wide when she turned, noting that Motoki was slowly raising his hand as well. In fact, it struck her so completely that she couldn't find anything to say for a few moments, but turned back to a furiously glaring Chiba Mamoru. Oh, yeah, if looks could kill…. He walked forward and gripped her arm, pulling her back and out of eye shot of as many of the very hungry looking guys around them as possible.

"Hey man, she offered!" someone yelled from the back, grinning ear to ear. Mamoru decided not to say anything on that particular comment, but felt his blood seethe through him. Their fights were one thing, but actually offering herself to these low-class boys was something even he couldn't allow her to do. Arch enemy or not, Usagi was a hot girl with legs up to her nose.

"Oh I see I don't even have to give you the reference, Odango, since you're already setting up shop!" He growled, not bothering to mask his irritation as he glared down at her. He still had one slender arm held in his hand and seemed to be holding her in place, directly in front of him so the crowd couldn't see her. She glared back at him, smiling as sweetly as possible.

"Well, seeing as I would have my first customer, maybe we should just go to the back then!" She screeched, ripping her arm away from him. The guys in the back whistled, enough to make her blush as she thought about what she'd said. Too late to turn back now, though. "Of course, with every other male guy in the room so interested, I really have to wonder."

Oh shoot. Mamoru's eyebrow shot up in curiosity as he stared at the younger girl. What exactly was she trying to say here? The arcade hushed to see who would speak first, and Motoki stood ready at the board to update the results of the fight. The girls were staring at her, Rei's mouth open in a silent scream. There was no way she would actually think…

"So, why aren't you interested, hu, Mamo-baka? Apparently I'm enough to satisfy a lot of guys needs." The tension between them mounted substantially as the blond girl took a step forward; eyes both innocent and lost as she stared up at him. For some strange, unexplainable reason, Mamoru couldn't seem to find his voice at all. In fact, though the girl was only fifteen, she seemed quite able to handle herself. The thought made his eyes darken immensely. She was little more than a child, and the way she was looking at him now was definitely not appropriate for her age. "Maybe its because you don't like girls, ne Mamo-baka?"

She tilted her head to the side, infuriating the college student. He refused to rise to the occasion, though, and glared coldly down at her. Strangely enough, this wasn't the first time he'd been mistaken by girls. In fact, the simple knowledge that some of them actually believed him to be gay was a source of constant irritation. What was with them, anyway? Why did they constantly feel the need to assume!? His temper flared and he reached forward, gripping her upper arm and yanking her closer.

"Don't like girls, hu Odango? Show me a girl in this room and I'll show you I do." Oh, he had signed himself up for failure now! Usagi was a shoe in! There was no one in there he couldn't stand worse than her! She grinned evilly, keeping the overly sexy image up as she leaned back against his arm. There was no way… Mamoru-baka, finally caught in his own stupid game.

"How about the least attractive of them all?" She stated, grinning widely before winking. "Me." There was a moment of silence as eyes turned from one to the other in curiosity. They really couldn't be serious about this, could they?

Mamoru yanked on the younger girl again, this time hard enough to send her sprawling along the length of him. He seemed grim enough, staring down at her as if this whole mess was her fault. Which, in his mind, was the case, mind you. In fact, if she hadn't sent that stupid test paper flying at his head, they wouldn't have ever met, or started this whole fighting game. The thought was irritating at best and he grimaced at the thought of having to kiss the child. Somewhere, in the back of his mind, he was already reading the newspapers. 'College Pedophile Sentenced 20 years…' There was something in there about parole and treatment options. This was really just completely unbelievable.

"Well, Odango Atema, it looks like we have no choice. We're going to have to get it on." She nearly let out a horrified screech, but his lips had already claimed hers before the sound left. The second they touched, pleasure careened through the both of them like lightning. Instinctively Usagi's arms wrapped around her assailant as her knees turned gooey and lost all strength. He seemed to understand the problem instantly and wrapped both arms around her to hold her up. Not only was the Odango-ed one a surprisingly good kisser, but Mamoru actually felt the first sudden shift in his chest and warmth spread through him. Oh no, this would definitely not do at all!

He had meant it to be a simple kiss, just enough to prove to her and everyone else that stood there watching, that he, Chiba Mamoru, was definitely not gay. It really was too bad that he seemed to have lost his mind in the process. It was fairly obvious that he had simply gone mad, because there was no way on this earth that he could enjoy kissing his enemy so darn much. It was also apparent in the fact that Usagi had moaned deliciously in his mouth and held on tighter, fingers running through his hair. Yup, she definitely enjoyed it too, it would seem. So then, why, in his sad confused state, hadn't they simply started kissing instead of fighting? As much fun as the latter was, they had been missing out! And by heck, if Mamoru had lost his mind, he was going to take his time with it!

Both pulled away finally, breathing hard and staring with glazed eyes and heated faces. Usagi's eyes were the most intriguing shade of blue he'd ever seen before and she was just staring at him. They realized, none to hastily, that they were still locked in a rather intimate position, but neither really cared. Usagi licked her lips, body shuddering at the taste of him and attempted in vain to steady her breathing. Mamoru's eyes had zeroed in on her mouth and he found himself panting, aching to kiss her again. Great, yes, but dang it was a work out! How many guys had she kissed to get so good anyway? The thought left his blood seething.

"And the round goes to Mamoru by a landslide!" Motoki's voice broke through the haze and they turned to see a rather wicked grin on the manager's face. Both turned to look at the crowd behind them and gulped, feeling a bit sheepish at their earlier activities.

"So, have I successfully proven myself?" Mamoru purred, leaning closer with that same mockingly sultry look in his eyes. Usagi's temper flared and she shoved him away. How dare he make light of that, the jerk! AND how dare he win this match when she was so far in the lead! Her fists clenched and brow furrowed in anger.

"No. But I'll get you next time!" her loud, somewhat strangely maniacal laugher bounced around the room, causing several people to groan and slam their heads against the table. Mamoru didn't miss a beat, but came forward and touched her lower lip with a thumb.

"No, Usagi-chan, I'll get you."