Learn to Kiss

Title: Learn to Kiss

Rating: K+

Pairings: Maria Kanellis/CM Punk

Summary: CM Punk teaches Maria a lesson in lips.

Disclaimer: Unfortunately, I don't own WWE or any of the characters used.


CM Punk was watching the television in his apartment, attempting to recover from his Money in the Bank match at Wrestlemania – all was peaceful. Maria Kanellis, his very good friend was over in the corner on his computer. It was when she started pounding the buttons on the keyboard furiously that he began to wonder what on earth she was up to.

"Why are you abusing my computer?" he asked as he propped himself up on the couch.

The ditsy diva didn't dare take her eyes away from the computer screen. He could almost see the image reflected in her chocolate glazed eyes. "I'm flaming every romantic website that I know of." There was venom in her voice and that told him that she was not kidding… which was a complete change from the woman that he knew.

Curiousity killed the cat, of course, so if he was one of those four-legged felines he probably wouldn't live that long. He walked over to read it over her shoulder. "Why are you so mad at them? They didn't post something you wrote? They slagging you off?"

"No, they'd be hearing from me again if they were." she answered curtly as she exited out of the window she'd been viewing and turned to look at him, "I'm just sick of these sites only telling fantasies and not the truth."

CM Punk was totally and utterly confused. "And they would be lying about... what?"

Maria casually leaned back in her seat. "They're lying about first kisses."


"They're lying about the effect of first kisses."

"And they're saying...?"

"They're saying that when a couple kisses, it's so good that the girl's knees get weak and that she completely gives in or something totally stupid along the lines of that. Trust me, Punk," The brunette woman stretched her legs, then stood up and walked over to the refrigerator for some bottled water, "First kisses are so totally not like that. In fact, they're pretty gross."

CM Punk followed after her, "And why do you say that?" He had kissed plenty of girls before and they never told him he sucked… did he? … nah. Of course not.

"Because my first kiss definitely wasn't like those ones!" she said as she pointed to the computer screen, now displaying his screensaver. "It sucked!"

The straight-edge ECW Extremist almost had to bite his lips from laughing. Maria was actually serious about this! "And why did it suck?"

Maria uncapped her water bottle and took a sip of her drink. She then calmly set the bottle down on the table. "Picture it. My boyfriend and I are on our second date. I'm preparing for my first kiss. We went to a movie, he paid for everything, and then he takes me home. We sit in his car in the driveway and my heart is racing… because this is it! This is the moment that I've been waiting for since I first discovered boys! It's been a beautiful night and it feels like we should be starring in a movie. He tells me he hoped I had a good time and I told him I had had a great time. He leans in to kiss me. I incline my head to meet his lips."

CM Punk was listening intently, sucked into the story. He couldn't help but picture Maria doing all these things inside of his head. It was all quite romantic from his point of view, so what the hell could she be so upset about?

"And?" he impatiently queried her.

"Well," she cocked her head as she thought about the way she'd describe it, "Remember that time that Colt dared you to eat that cow's tongue? Picture that being shoved in your mouth and then licked ear to ear, and up your nose."

Punk couldn't keep it all in. He snorted and it made him choke. "W-what?"

Maria nodded her head, confirming the tale. "Yep, it's true. My first kiss felt like I was going through a car wash in a convertible." Punk was pounding the counter with his fist as he started laughing. The diva put her hands on her hips, sulkily. "It's not funny Punkerdoodle. I had to cancel our date because I couldn't help but imagine what he'd do next, clean out my ears?"

CM Punk took a deep breath and wiped tears of mirth from his eyes. "Well, I'm sorry your first kiss was so… um, tragic." He reached over and took a sip of Maria's drink. "But I swear to God that not all first kisses are like that. In fact, mine are always like the ones on those websites."

The brunette rolled her eyes sarcastically. "Yeah, right."

"I'm serious. My kisses make women's knees give out."

"The women you date wear high-heels all the time so if they can let the men hold them up for a few seconds, they'd take it."

"I'm a very good kisser, Maria."

Maria took a sip of the drink as she looked away from him. "Yeah, wish I could see that."

Smirking, Punk snaked his arm around her tiny waist and pulled her closer to him. "Be careful what you wish for, Kanellis."

He took her lips with his and Maria was awestruck. He nibbled gently on her bottom lip that made her tongue peep out and he nipped at the tip with his teeth that made sensations flow from her lips, and up and down her arms. And even though her knees felt like lead and she could barely stand, CM Punk held her up. His lips had to be a drug because at that moment, she was higher than Ozzy Ozbourne. His cool tongue flicked at her wanting and bruised lips, but never entered as if he was teasing her – which, she realized, he probably was.

Punk smiled at her as he looked at her flushed face. Her cheeks were rosy and her lips swollen slightly, but she looked very beautiful. "So?"

Shaken and out of breath, Maria's eyes were in a daze as she focused on him. "Punkerdoodle..."

Leaning his face closer to hers, he whispered but one word: "Yes?"

"I think I enjoy second and third kisses better."

He realized that day that he did too.