Kabuto looked at the calendar, not anticipating the day ahead of him. It was exactly a month after Easter-the day Tayuya always ate her chocolate bunny.
Every year, Tayuya always saved her chocolate bunny to eat later and make Jiroubou miserable. And every year, someone different bit the ears off the bunny without Tayuya noticing. And every year, someone ended up in the infirmary with Tayuya's handprints all over their face.
Kabuto sighed. Wait for it…wait for it…
The card game last night had landed Orochimaru himself with the ace; therefore he was the one who had to bite the ears off Tayuya's bunny. Orochimaru had slunk into her room, careful not to wake her, bitten the ears off the bunny, and swept back out, leaving the bunny as if no one had touched it.
Kabuto sighed. She found it.
TOUCHED MY BUNNY????????? WHERE ARE THE
Orochimaru slammed the door behind him and slumped against it, panting. "I'm dead meat."
"Yes, you are," Kabuto muttered, pouring himself a glass of juice. "And when she asks me for the DNA analysis, how far away do you want to be?"
Orochimaru sighed and picked himself up off the floor. "So that's how she always knows. Traitor."
"…I hate you."
"I know you do."
"WHERE'S THE ASSHOLE WJO ATE MY BUNNY EARS???????!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
"I am gone," Orochimaru said. "No DNA analysis this year, if you please."
Kabuto shrugged. "Immunity."
Orochimaru melted into the ground underneath him, leaving Kabuto with Tayuya and her bunny.
"Kabuto, open up!!"
Kabuto sighed at Tayuya's pounding on the door and went to open it. "Bunny ears?"
yeeeeeeeeeear!!" she whined. "Someone eats my bunny
"I wanna know who it is this year!"
"We're having snake stew for dinner."
Kabuto watched as Tayuya sank into the ground in front of him. "How'd you learn how to do that?" he asked curiously.
"Orochimaru-sama taught me."
Kabuto sighed. "That's his downfall."
Tayuya ran into Kabuto's apartment a few hours later, Orochimaru chasing her. "First he eats my bunny ears, and then he goes after me, and then he eats the rest of the bunny!!!"
Kabuto sighed and took Tayuya into his arms. "Shut up. You brought this upon yourself."
"He didn't have to
eat the whole thing!!!"
Kabuto sighed again. "In the back."
Tayuya broke away from him and scampered into Kabuto's bedroom to hide. Orochimaru walked in calmly a minute later, looking very smug.
"…You ate the whole bunny?"
"I ate the whole bunny."
"You should be ashamed of yourself."
"…I should be…"
"But you're not."
Kabuto handed Orochimaru another bunny. "Bite the ears off, apologize, and give her this."
"You saved yours too…?"
"No, I stole yours."
Orochimaru sighed. "I hate you."
"I know you do."
Orochimaru sighed and bit the ears off the bunny (again.) "In the back?"
Orochimaru slowly went into Kabuto's bedroom, watching closely for an illusion to spring out of nowhere. Nothing? Strange…
Tayuya tackled him from behind.
"One, get off," Orochimaru grumbled, shoving at Tayuya from his painful position between her and the floor. "Two, here's your bunny. Minus the ears."
"You barfed it back up…?" Tayuya sounded hesitant and unsure as she poked the bunny.
"No, Kabuto stole mine and told me to give it to you because I ate yours."
"Since when do you listen to Kabuto?"
"I don't," Orochimaru said, kicking at Tayuya again. "But I'm not huge with chocolate and I already ate yours and made you cry, so I'm happy."
Tayuya dug her heels into Orochimaru's side. "I didn't cry," she said. "I just screamed bloody murder and kicked you in the balls."
Orochimaru grunted and reached around to smack Tayuya. "That you did," he mumbled. "And it still hurts."
"It better," Tayuya muttered, taking the bunny from Orochimaru. "Because if it doesn't, I'm kicking you again, harder."
Orochimaru sighed. "You've got your bunny, now get off me."
"God, that looks wrong."
Tayuya grinned as Kabuto walked in, seeing the awkward scene. Orochimaru felt his face flush, and he delivered an especially sharp kick to Tayuya's ribs. Tayuya stood, kicked him in the rear, and nibbled on her chocolate bunny.
"I hate you all."
"We know," Kabuto
said, resigned. "Orochimaru-sama, she is going to kick you
Orochimaru stood, feeling the pain from Tayuya's kicks, and walked past her, slamming an ankle into hers and yanking her feet out from underneath her. As Tayuya fell, she raised her leg-
Catching Orochimaru very painfully.
The sannin groaned and crumbled, falling to the floor in a heap.
"Don't touch my Godforsaken bunny, shithead."
Orochimaru sighed and decided to reclaim his position as Kage. Tayuya glared at the raised finger, kicked him again, and walked away, chewing on her bunny.
"Don't touch the bunny."
A/N: Just a little drabble I wrote because for April Fool's Day I bit the ears off everyone's chocolate bunnies…I waited to pull all my stupid pranks just so I could eat bunny ears. So yummy…oh well. Thanks for reading…if you did. Enjoy Tayuya being herself, Orochimaru getting owned, and Kabuto doing nothing about it.