(A/N) It's sad, I've been neglecting my poor writing, as I've been obsessive compulsive over my drawing lately. However, I am now back, hopefully for good. Anyway, this fic is a lot more... how should I put it, deep(?) than the others. It's got a lot more psychological turmoil and what not, without being too emo. I'm surprised at all the reviews I've gotten so far, and it's rather exciting. Perhaps this story will become my best? We'll see.

Disclaimer: If I owned FullMetal Alchemist... oh, crap, I'm drooling again.

Day after day, night after night, she thought of him. She though of every moment they had shared together, and the dreams she longed to becom reality. To see his face again, look deeply into his eyes. To be content once again, to feel like everything in the world was right again. That was how Ed made her feel, like she was on top of the world. And like nothing could bring her down...

Winry's eyes softly closed, before shooting open again. She reminded herself, over and over again, not to fall asleep. There wasn't enough time for rest.

She turned the page of the book. She was begining to understand some of it, the basics of alchemy. Though she didn't know enough yet, to come up with a valid theory. Alchemy was how Edward had come back to her world before, but it wasn't so simple this time. For one thing, there had to be transmutation circles formed on both sides of the gate, Roy had explained.

Not to mention the whole thing was incredibly dangerous.

Not that Winry cared, all that was important at the time was bringing Ed home, she needed him, his image constantly haunting her mind.

Her eyes slowly sunk again, the darkness, and the state of rest calling out to her. Her head slowly lowered down, until she lay it on the open book. Only for a minute, she told herself, embracing the feeling of sleep.

The door creaked open and Winry jumped up from her desk automatically. How could anyone get in? She wondered.

She had shut down her automail shop for awhile, to give herself more time to study, more time to search for an answer. To find the answer. Who would have come in?

She walked into the front room, to find a shadowy figure in what appeared to be the millitary uniform. She flicked on the lights. "Oh! Lieutenant..." Winry exclaimed, smiling weakly, "Riza.."

Today was the day, Winry had realized, they were leaving on the train for Eastern Headquarters today. "The Colonel is outside," Riza explained, "he'll be in in a moment."

Winry nodded and then noticed something, on Riza's finger. It was the engagement ring. It made her smile softly, to see the way that the romance had blossomed between the two. It was so sweet, yet Winry couldn't help but feel a bit jealous.

The Lieutenant caught Winry's glance and commented, "The wedding will be in a few months..." she shifted herself, looking away embarassed, "will you be attending?"

Winry brightened, happy for the couple, and ignoring her own personal envy. "Of course," she beamed, "and I'll make sure Edward is there too."

Riza stared at Winry and sighed, unsure of what to say to that.

"If only I could contact him," Winry continued, "and tell him to open up a portal on his side... then... maybe..."

Hawkeye interrupeted, "I've heard that kind of alchemy is dangerous." She cleared her throat, "Transporting between worlds."

"I know, but, I'm not worried about that," Winry spoke enthusiastically, "as long as I get to see him, no matter what happens to me I'll-"

Riza held up a hand, indicating for her to stop, "It isn't your saftey that would be jepordized." Riza explained, "Edward would be the one passing through the gate."

Winry's heart skipped a beat, her whole mind going into shock. How could she have been so selfish? Risking her life was one thing, but Edwards? She could never do that, she couldn't allow him to be in pain, especially knowing it was her own greed that caused it. The slight chance that he'd return to her, wasn't worth the risk of losing him all together.

This wasn't the only thing she'd been selfish with either, what about Alphonse? How could she completely disreguard Al and his feelings? Had she been that terribly blinded by love? Al and Ed had worked so hard, and suffered so much to be together. How could she allow herself to tear them apart? She couldn't imagine a worse scenario.

Tears began running down her colorless cheeks, and forming small blotches of moisture on her white tank top. She hadn't eaten much lately, nor had she been out in the sun. Her body was weak, and this was pushing her over the edge. Her own foolishness was bringing her downfall.

Her breathing became unsteady, and she began to shake lightly. This was worse than waking up from her taunting, tormenting dreams. A hatred boiled within her, a hatred for her own selfishness.

The sobbing increased, and Riza stood silently. Unknowing of what words of comfort she could bring.

The door swung open again, and Roy entered the room, a frown on his face as he observed all of the commotion. He began to speak, but Winry threw herself at him. She wrapped her arms around the Colonel, and burried her tearing face into his chest, "Edward..." she cried desperately, "I'm so sorry..." He was caught off guard at first, but Roy finally placed a soothing hand on her shoulder.

It was just like that night, the night when the disappearance of Ed had really hit her.

"The Lietenant and I," Roy paused, "we wanted to ask you, if you'd like to head out east with us."

"No..." Winry shook her head lightly, "no... I want... I want to go to the other side." She spoke, almost whispering, taking deep breaths to calm herself.

Roys expression fell, "The other side?" he questioned.

"The other side of the gate," she confirmed, "where Ed is."

"Out of the question." He said immediately, in a harsh tone.

"Please," she pleaded, now screaming, "please transmute me!"

"I said no!" his voice became more stern as he pushed her away. "Absolutely not."

"But why?!" Winry cried out viciously, her voice rasping, and her eyes once again filling with tears."

"Because I'm supposed to protect you," Roy yelled, "not send you to your god damned death!"

Winry stepped back for a moment, calmind herself before she spoke, "I don't care. I don't care if I have to do it on my own, I will find a way to get there. I will be with him, no matter what it takes."

Her eyes burned furiously, with a sense of both conviction and passion. They blazed with determination, and yet gave off an icey glare. Her mind was set, that was certain. She was going to follow her heart, that was apparent. She was going to fullfill her dreams, at any cost. She was no longer going to expect Edward to come back to her, risking everything, while she gave nothing. She was going to follow the infamous law - in order to recieve, something must first be given. She'd give it all, she'd give everything. Nothing could be worth as much as the love she felt for him, nothing was of greater value.

(A/N) Not really sure if this chapter was as well written as the others, but I'm sleep deprived, hungry, and sore. So, it's time for me to go to bed, and for you to review!