A/N: Okay so this story is meant to be funny. It's an internal rambling. And it just came to me...It's kinda short...especially compared to my other oneshots...but most ramblings are. Hopefully y'all will like it...randomness is the best way to sum it up. Oh and I have two people to thank. One is Eve for helping me find a way around the evilness that is fanfiction's document uploader. The other is Ellie who beta'ed it for me...even though she's a BLer. That's why I love her. lol.
Disclaimer: I don't own One Tree Hill.
Damn it. He should be thinking about Brooke.
Well, technically he was, right? If he was thinking about the fact that he should be thinking about her, then technically he was thinking about her. But then again, that thought had just popped into his head now. The rest of this trip had been filled with concern for the blonde in the seat next to him. So that didn't really count.
Yes, he was in a car with her. Traveling miles and miles away to go visit her birth mother. Just hours after he became official with Brooke. Yep. That made perfect sense. It was at this point he realized that rationality and him never really did get along. The rational thing to do would have been to say "No Peyton I can't go with you. I just got together with Brooke, your best friend. The one with the insecurities about us being friends. I should probably sit this one out." But then, he'd have to watch her face fall a little, before she put on a brave smile and promised that she'd be okay. And he'd feel guilty and sad…
Damn it! The girl depended on him! He couldn't let her down. Everyone else had let her down before. Besides, he loved being that guy for her. Does Brooke love you being that guy…Damn Peyton. Always the rational one. Always making sense. Always thinking first and then acting. He always thought he was the prudent, cautious type. But when it came to Peyton Sawyer, it seemed all prudence went out the window. Damn it…
He wished he could say no to her. But he couldn't deny her anything. He never had. And he really was in love with Brooke. Truly, madly, deeply. But there were some days where he wondered what he would do if Peyton just turned around and asked him to break it off with her. Deep down, he knew he'd do it. No questions asked. Almost as if, he was a robot under her control.
He told himself he'd do it because he trusted her judgment. She would have to have a rational reason for asking such a thing from him. (She was after all the rational one) In reality, he'd do it because he was whipped. By a girl he wasn't dating. By his girlfriend's best friend. The one he cheated with before. On a roadtrip. During an emotional situation. Like a possibly dead parent, perhaps? Damn it…
Yeah, he really should have steered clear of replicating those situations. It wasn't good for Brooke's insecurities. It wasn't good for Peyton's friendship with Brooke. It wasn't good for his heart…Wait…did he just say heart? Well, he meant that he had a heart condition. And added stress wouldn't help it. Yeah, of course that's what he meant. He loved Brooke. And Peyton was just a friend. How many times did he have to repeat that to himself before his conscious started listening and stopped badgering? Until you believe it, Lukey.
Damn it. Stupid sarcastic conscious. Stupid pretty girlfriend back home. Stupid curly blonde next to him. Why couldn't he just have been born gay? He bet that would have solved his problems. He and Peyton could have sat and brooded about Jake being gone…
"What are you thinking about Luke?" Peyton asked from her side of the car.
"Umm, back home," he lied. Well, it's not like he could have told her the truth. Hey, Peyton, I'm thinking about if I had been gay with your ex boyfriend…
"Do you miss Brooke?" she asked, and he could see the worry forming in the corner of her eyes. She really felt bad for having brought him with.
"Yeah," he said, "But we'll be home soon enough." He kept his eyes focused on the road, but he felt her hand reach over and squeeze his arm.
"Thanks Lucas," she whispered, "I couldn't have done this without you."
He hadn't been born gay to make things platonic between them. He didn't get the easy relationship with the pretty girlfriend he loved. No, he got dysfunction and the always present connection with the pretty blonde girl beside him. And yet he knew, he wouldn't trade it for anything. Even when he thought his life was perfect as it is, he knew that that would change soon enough. Because there was always Peyton. And he'd always have to make room. And he always would.
"Any time, Peyton."
Nothing like a road trip to find yourself, huh? Or maybe discover your two new favorite words…Damn it.