Tsk tsk! Not nearly as many reviews for this chapter as the last one. Where has everyone gone off to? Anyways, I have spawned a whole new clan of plot bunnies by this story alone.
I've decided that this chapter will be based on the ever-popular American exchange student. Other additions will be the Muggle-dropped-into-Harry's-world, Snape's daughter, Voldemort's daughter, and many more depending on the requests I get. Remember, I haven't been exposed to the Harry Potter world as long as most of you have. But for now let's stick with the American student. I'm sure most of you are thinking... Hogwarts doesn't have an exchange program! Well, a sane person who has read the books should know that. But, then again, Suethors aren't sane.
Mary Sues of Hogwarts
The Hogwarts express was leaving in five minutes. Harry, Hermione, and Ron had already found themselves a compartment towards the back of the train and settled down.
"Wow, can you believe what a strange year we had last year?" sighed Ron. "I'm just glad we can put it behind us, can't we Hermione?"
Hermione rolled her eyes and smiled. "Don't worry, it wasn't your fault. She had you under your spell. No male can escape that."
"How would you know Herm?" asked Harry.
"I looked up Mary-Sues over the summer holidays. Apparently they come in many different varieties and some are almost impossible to spot. Your sister was more obvious, and if we had been more prepared we would have recognized her for what she was."
"Ahhh," the two boys sighed. Harry sank down in his seat and glanced out the window. He did a double take when he spotted a girl walking into the train with deep purple robes and matching violet hair. After giving her a skeptical look, he turned away and went to sleep.
Harry didn't give the girl a second thought until the trio sat down in the Great Hall. After the normal process of sorting the first years and Dumbledore's adding to the already long list of items banned by Filch, they eagerly awaited the food to be piled on their plates. But it never happened. Instead, Dumbledore stood up again.
"Attention students! We are proud to say that Hogwarts, in cooperation with the American Academy of Witchcraft and Wizardry, Salem, has begun a foriegn exchange program."
"Huh?" was the general reaction throughout the Great Hall.
"Millicent Bulstrode of Slytherin has agreed to travel to the USA to study for the remainder of the year. Which means that we have a new student! Everyone, please give a warm welcome to..."
Hermione realized what was happening too late.
"Heather Moonfire Angel!"
The same girl that Harry had seen get on the train stepped in front of the staff table. Her violet eyes flashed, and every single teenage male within a mile radius developed a glazed look in their eyes.
"Oh no, not again," sighed Hermione.
"Heather will be staying with us for the remainder of the year, so, she will need to be sorted into a house. Heather, if you would please step up to the stool."
Anything but Gryffindor, anything but Gryffindor, anything but...
"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!" cried Hermione. Everyone, including the females, gave her a strange look.
"Sorry," she said while slowly slipping back into her seat.
Harry and Ron managed to get every class with Heather (I wonder how that happened...), and the first class of the day was DADA with Snape. It was a few minutes before the bell, and everyone had gathered around Heather to hear about her life in the states.
"I was really lucky to even get the letter from the Acadamy," she said. "My mom was a witch, but she died giving birth to me. My father's an alcoholic muggle and beats me constantly. I discovered my powers by teleporting myself to another town while he was beating me once. When the letter came he ripped it to shreds. I got another letter, which I ran away with. I used the last of my savings to go to school. Now I live in the Acadamy during the summer months because the teachers feel sorry for me."
"Wow," sighed Seamus. "You had a horrible life. Do you need any emotional comforting?"
This was accompinied by a rather obvious (and disturbing) wink.
"Thank you! You are so kind. How about after class today?"
They continued to listen to her life story even after Snape walked in. He only caught the words "four animagi" before they all scrambled to their seats.
Now why does that sound familiar? he thought. After pondering this for a few seconds, he shook it out of his head and began his torture of the Golden Trio.
"Wasn't our first day great?" said Heather enthusiastically. The sixth year girls were hanging out in their dorm after the day's activites. Most of them were listening to Heather. "But that DADA teacher was kind of mean, don't you think?"
"Mmm," Hermione replied. She was the only one not paying attention. Instead, she was reading her Advanced Potions book and trying to figure out exactly what Harry had done to make his potion better than hers. She wasn't having much success either.
"Who's that boy with the lightning-shaped scar, anyways? He's hot, don't you think?"
Hermione slammed her book shut.
"Oh, that's Harry Potter," replied Lavender.
"I've heard of him! He's really famous here in Britain, isn't he?"
"You don't want to date him," said Hermione, irritated that another one of her friends was about to fall victim to a Sue. "You-Know-Who would use anyone close to Harry in order to kill him."
"But aren't you, like, his best friend or something?" asked Heather.
"We're used to it. Besides, Harry isn't interested in getting a girlfriend right now."
Hermione turned away from Heather and crawled into bed. The other girls decided to do the same, and one by one the lights in the dorm went out. As the Sue lay in her bed, she thought, Oh, I can change that.
Sure enough, by the end of the day, Harry was in love with Heather. Hermione was seething, while the Sue was giving her the haha-in-your-face look. Hermione hissed.
"You okay, Hermione?" asked Ron, slightly disturbed by her behavior.
"Oh yes, I'm perfectly fine," she said sarcastically. "Of course I'm not okay! Don't you see? She's another Sue!"
Ron took a good, long, look at Heather.
"Nope, don't see it."
"Ron, you idiot!" Hermione shoved her plate away and ran out of the Great Hall. Heather and Harry emerged from their snogging match.
"What's the matter with her?" asked Harry. Ron shook his head and followed Hermione. Heather shrugged and pulled him back into her grasp.
Late that night, while all the other girls were sleeping, Hermione snuck a peek into Heather's trunk. She shuddered at the massive amounts of pink in her wardrobe. What wasn't pink was either baby blue, light purple, or another disgustingly girly pastel. Once she had dug through her wardrobe, she found her schoolbooks and other personal belongings. After scanning through those, she discovered that nothing even remotely resembled evil. Even in her DADA textbook, all pictures of dark spells and creatures had been scribbled out and replaced with drawings of unicorns, flowers, and rainbows.
This girl is way too perfect, she thought. This spawned an idea.
Heather yawned. It was a beautiful morning. The birds were chirping, the sun was shining, and she was just as beautiful as ever.
Well, not really.
You can imagine Heather's surprise when she looked into the mirror and found her face covered in zits the size of quarters. A blood-curdling scream rang through the castle, and somewhere in the Great Hall, Hermione smiled. A few seconds later, Heather was running to the infirmiry as fast as her legs could take her. Harry had heard the scream and, recognizing it as his girlfriend's, followed her.
It wasn't until herbology late in the day that Heather was seen again. She walked in with bandages plastered all over her once perfect face and sat down without a word. Not only was she embarresed, but Hermione could tell that she would kill the person who did this to her. Her plan was working perfectly.
The next morning, Heather had something else to worry about besides her face. The bandages were gone, and it was almost back to normal. But when she looked into the mirror, her hair had been dyed brown (gasp!) and was ten times bushier than Hermione's had ever been. She tried brushing it out, magiking it out, but nothing worked. And this time, she couldn't go to the infirmiry.
You think she was furious then? Ha, you ain't seen nothin' yet.
As Heather walked through the halls, she noticed posters covering their walls. After looking closer, she realized that they were of her, snoring in her sleep. At the bottom, the poster said:
"Contact Hermione! There's more where this came from!"
Even Heather, who barely had two brain cells to rub together, could then figure out who had been tourturing her for the past two days. And she just happened to be walking by. With as much force as she could muster, Heather slugged Hermione in the nose. And even with blood pouring out of her broken nose, she smiled.
"And here I thought it was impossible for you commit an evil act."
And Heather exploded into a puff of pink smoke.
It turns out that Hermione was right. Certain types of Mary Sues were supposedly the embodiment of everything good and could not commit any acts of evil because it was against their nature. If they contradicted that, the point of her existence was, well... pointless.
For the next sue, I'll make a poll. Whichever one gets the most votes will get the next chapter!