Disclaimer: IT'S NOT MINE!


If only, I had one wish

I'd want a million trillion lifetimes that I could spend with you

I'd fall in love with you, again and again. - "Looking Back on Today", The Ataris


Shatter CH 12. Shuichi POV.

Seguchi Tohma-san is a bitch.

Super-cool and talented keyboardist of Nittle Grasper, my butt.

I may not be speaking to Fujisaki for a while.

Higuchi-san told me everything, in that purr-meow voice of hers. Even though I slapped her a few times, across the face, I kind of almost like her now.

I really admire her, anyway, for having the courage to say she's sorry.

Unlike someone I know.

Shindou Shuichi, that is.

And suddenly, it hits me.

I do have the courage to say I'm sorry. Hidden somewhere deep, deep inside of me.

All I have to do is find it.

"Hiro," I announce. Or rather, my voice announces. It's much braver than me right now. My legs are shaking, even as I stand up. I feel like I'm going to turn into a puddle of pink Jello.

Is there such thing as pink Jello?

I think so. Strawberry kiwi, right?

"I'm going out," my voice informs Hiro. I'm busy trying to figure out how to stand up straight.

"Huh?" Hiro looks up from the newspaper he's reading. He must be really bored. "Where?"

"Um..." This, I have to think about. Where am I going, exactly? To find Yuki, that's all I know.

Everything else will work itself out on the way.


"To make everything right again," I say. That's right. Me.

And that's exactly what I'm gonna do.

I hope.

He smiles a great big Hiro-smile. "Good luck, kid."

"Thanks," I say, trying to remember how to walk, and succeeding only in falling flat on my face.


Looks like I'll be needing it.


As I make my way out to the parking lot, I am suddenly struck with the realization that I have no idea how to get home from this hospital.

I don't even know which hospital this is.

Frick on a stick.

I just stand here for a minute, the collar of Hiro's extra-large T-shirt falling down my shoulder, contemplating what to do about the situation I seem to have gotten myself into.

When I see a car.

A sleek, black, beautiful Mercedes.

I know this car. I've rode in this car. I have been threatened with the thought of my very own head on a platter, if I so much as consider driving this car.

Suddenly, I know exactly what to do.

Ooh, a shiver ran through my body just now.

I pull the collar of Hiro's shirt back up to my neck. Deep breath. Okay. Here goes nothing.

Or everything, depending upon how you wanna look at it.

My legs are jumping in front of Yuki's car, my arms are thrown out wide, and for a second I think I just might fly. My voice screams at the top of my lungs, and for the first time in...well, a while, I feel alive.

Though if Yuki doesn't slow down soon, I may not be very much alive at all.


The car screeches. I can almost feel the rubber tires burning on top of the pavement.

Yuki bursts out of the car, not even bothering to shut the door behind him, and proceeds to sweep me up into his arms and give me the most perfect, wonderful, spectacular kiss I ever will receive.

"Shuichi." He breaks the kiss. I moan. No, please keep kissing me, Yuki. I forgot how absolutely yummy you are. "You're so stupid."

Does he really think I don't know that? "Just kiss me, please," I beg of him.

And so he does.

"Yuki," I breathe. He's so tasty. He really is. "There was this thing that happened, and..."

"Basically, Seguchi's an asshole. Right?"

Huh? How'd he...?

Then I notice Sakuma-san, who's looking very, extremely happy for me.

Well, that's someone I never thought I'd see coming out of Yuki's car.


"Yeah, that," I sigh, as Yuki kisses the very tip of my nose.

You know, I feel very, extremely happy for me too.


He's chewing on my bottom lip a little, tickling me, teasing me. Mm. I like that.

"Let's start over again," I propose between kisses. "I mean, I jumped in front of your car and everything...Right now, at this moment, let's start over again. And this time, we'll get a happy ending."

Oh. Oh.

Before, I lied.

This is the best kiss I ever will receive.

Somehow, though, I get the feeling I'm lying again.

"Yeah, that," he sighs, leaving a trail of sweet kisses down my neck.

I snuggle into his chest, and he wraps his arms around me so tight, and I wanna stay like this forever.

I hope he never, ever lets go.

And somehow, I don't think he will.

"I love you so so so so so so much, Yuki," I say into his shirt.

I look up. He's rolling his golden eyes at this. I prepare my self for some scathing comment about how stupid and needy I am.

It doesn't come.

Instead, he smirks and says, "You too, brat."

And all of a sudden, I'm sparkling. I feel like I, Shindou Shuichi, could be amazing.

For the first time in my life, I feel good enough for Yuki.

And at this moment, I feel very, very pretty.

You know, if it were possible to die of happiness, I would've died six times by now.

No, seven.

Million trillion.

"...na no DA!"

Ooooh, Seguchi-san just got hit with a Kumagoro Beam.

Hey. When'd he get here?

I watch Yuki clench his fists, twitch his eyebrows. He's so sexy when he's mad.

Well, he's sexy all the time, but...

Oh, you know.

I don't know what possesses me to do this, but I walk right over to Seguchi-san, take my non-injured hand, and punch him in that smiling face of his.


That felt really, really good.

Yuki looks proud, too.

"Yuki?" I ask him, leaving Seguchi-san to tend to his bleeding nose, muttering obscenities to himself. My voice sounds a bit whinier than I'd like it too, but when you're as happy as I am right now, I guess you really can't help it. "Take me home."

He takes me into his arms again, kissing the top of my head. I feel so, so wonderful right now, I can't even begin to describe it.

I can't even believe it.

Yuki, I love you.

"Yeah," he says, twirling a lock of my hair with one of those long, lean, sexy fingers of his. "Right after we stop for some cigarettes."


Epilogue: Two months later


Tristesse looked around the empty apartment, making sure, one last time, that she wasn't forgetting anything, leaving anything behind.

No. Nothing but her memories, her former self.

She didn't know where she was going, not yet. Somewhere big, and open, with mountains and lakes and meadows. Somewhere where she could be free, surrounded by only the beauty of the world.

Not tied down by men. Useless affections. Unfulfilled fantasies. The empty promises of lust and love, those no longer belonged to her.

She took her suitcase, wheeling it behind her out the door, and sighed, saying one last goodbye to the empty apartment, for real this time.

She began her last stroll down the sidewalks of Paris, alone and unafraid.


"That's it?" I ask, from my permanent spot of behind Yuki's computer chair, rubbing his back. He's so tense. He always gets like this when he's finishing up a book; he glues himself to his computer chair, writes twenty-four hours a day, then gets cranky 'cause he's missing out on sex.

And I take off work so I can spend my whole entire day massaging Yuki's back, stopping only to refill his coffee mug or use the bathroom.

I don't mind though, because I get to be with Yuki.

And read what he's writing.

"She doesn't end up with anyone?" I go on. "Don't you think that's a little sad? I mean..."

He swivels around in his chair, so he's now facing me. He places a finger to my lips, and I promptly shut up.

"Well," he says, in that deep, deep, sexy voice, "I guess not everyone is lucky enough to get an ending as happy as ours."

He then pulls me into his lap and proceeds to give me the most awesome, breathtaking, glorious kiss I ever will receive.

Somehow, though, I get the feeling I'm lying again.



It's DONE!

Wow. It's been a long and angsty ride. This chapter, I fear, was a bit fluffy...hope anyone doesn't mind terribly much. Oh, and I must say before I forget, I'm so glad everyone liked the Ryuichi chapter! That makes me happy out of my mind.

So, um, I'll admit it. Take away the kissing, the smashing, and most of the happy ending, and 'Shatter' is the story of my best friend and me. In the story, Shuichi plays the role of me. Poor kid. -laughs- I hope, with all my heart, that I too can find the courage to say I'm sorry, wherever it may be.

Yeeeeah. Sappy ending-thing officially over.

Now, I'm not gonna do individual review replies, on account of how superlatively long this chapter already is, but I must say: Thank you SO much to everyone who read this thing. Thank you so so SO much to everyone who enjoyed it!

And...to everyone who reviewed, thank you thank you thank you, a million trillion thank yous, from the bottom of my heart. You guys are truly awesome, and I love you all.

And now...OH MY GOSH IT'S DONE! Wheeeeee.

Thanks again guys! Love you all. :D