It Was Easier to Accept Without Life
The job is shit, the life is shit, the cigarettes taste like shit, and he knows that what he's doing is shit on his lungs, but he accepts it.
Funny, innit? He sees death in front of him, looks in the mirror–hello chap, how many years we got now?–and acknowledges that there are no more beginnings for him, for his generation and for the world, and yet seeing the swollen stomach of Kee makes him deny everything.
He accepted death, but accepting that there's a possibility for life is too much.
Oh, Jasper would laugh at the irony.