Disclaimer: I don't own the Weather Channel, and Buffy etc. belongs to the Joss. All hail.
Spike froze, inches from the TV. Was that? It was! Footsteps! He launched himself at the DVD player, roughly extracted the disc, shoved it in its case, stuffed the case under a couch cushion, and dived on top of said cushion just as the keys finished turning in the lock, and Dawn poked her head around the door.
"What's going on?" She asked, worried.
"Nothing. Nothing. Why-why would you think something's going on? Why? Nothing. Absolutely nothing."
Dawn entered their apartment and closed the door behind her. "I just thought I heard noises, is all." Her worry now dissipated, she peered at her boyfriend suspiciously.
Spike smiled the innocent smile that thousands of men before him had smiled. "No noise. TV, maybe."
"Maybe." Dawn sounded unconvinced. "TV's off."
"That's because I switched it off. Silly little Key. Worrying about TV's. Come here!" He moved towards her, arms outstretched, making to hug her, but Dawn ducked under his arms and moved towards the TV.
"I heard crying. And moaning." She crouched down and flicked the on button. Spike unnecessarily held his breath. The Weather Channel informed the small living room of impending rain. Spike unnecessarily exhaled.
"See? I was just checking up on the weather. Nothing to worry about. Or think about. Dawn? Baby?"
Dawn frowned and began to rise to her feet when she noticed the open DVD tray. She slowly stood and looked carefully at Spike.
William the Bloody, killer of innocents, slayer of Slayers gulped.
Dawn took in his crumpled clothing, clothes that looked like he'd just put them on. Or buttoned them up?
"You asshole!" Dawn shrieked, "That's disgusting! How…how could you!?"
Spike took a step back in alarm. "Look pet, I don't know what you think, but-"
"Oh you know what I think, mister! What, your girlfriend's not enough for you anymore? Now you need porn to keep yourself satisfied? Am I just not good enough for you, is that it?"
Spike blinked twice. "Porn?"
Dawn shrieked. "I knew it! You…you…"
"Dawn, love, I can explain, it's not-" Spike suddenly remembered his manly pride. "Yes. Porn. I'm sorry. Um…porn, absolutely."
Dawn gave him a patented Dawn Summers Look of Death. "Where?" She practically snarled the word.
"Um…" Spike tried desperately to look anywhere but the sofa. Dawn narrowed her eyes and moved towards the sofa. Spike groaned. Damn his hopeless lying skills!
Dawn slipped her hand under the cushion, and her fingers brushed against a DVD box, she pulled it out, not really wanting to look at the cover.
"Dawn, I can explain. This is not what it looks like, I…" Spike trailed off as she steeled herself, and looked down at the cover of the box.
"What the hell? You said…"
Spike sighed and rubbed the back of his neck. "Well, porn sounds a helluva lot better, doesn't it?"
"But…" He squeezed his eyes shut. "It's embarrassing," he said in a small voice.
He opened his eyes slowly when he heard an odd noise. Was she? She couldn't be! She was! That bitch! She was laughing at him!
"It's not funny!"
Dawn gave up trying to suppress her laughter, and erupted into giggles.
"It kinda is," she managed to get out around laughs. "You would rather have me believe you were watching porn than have me know about this?"
"Well…yeah. And besides, you jumped to all the conclusions. I just agreed."
Dawn shook her head. "God, you're sad."
"Am not!" Spike exclaimed, offended. "Besides," he added, moving towards her, "why would I need porn when I have a beautiful," he wrapped his arms around her, "sexy," he lowered his head so she could feel his breath on her neck, "young woman, right here," He dipped his head and kissed her neck lightly, causing her to groan, and tilt her head back, "waiting for me?"
Dawn could only moan in response.
"Never tell anyone about this?"
Spike pulled back and looked at her with a sly grin. "I'll make it up to you…"
Dawn pretended to consider. "I don't know. That's a lot of blackmail material right there. It's going to take a lot of making up…"
Spike grinned and scooped her into his arms, dropping her down onto the couch. "Then I'll have to start right away."
Dawn giggled, and Spike knew he was forgiven.
Beside them, on the coffee table, Spike's double disc limited edition copy of The Notebook lay forgotten for the rest of the night.