(Somewhere near the Mexican border after Season 2 of BtVS)

Television is boring.


Not all the time.

Drusilla adores her favorite show.

It's very frightening.

Oh yes, deliciously frightening, right Miss Edith?

Miss Edith agrees.

Miss Edith approves.

Drusilla's Dark Star does not like Drusilla's favorite show, even if it is disturbing.

He says, whenever Drusilla asks ever so prettily if he would let her have the remote, "Bloody hell, poodle, not that. Anything but that!"

Then he throws our telly out into the daylight, bang, whoomp, and Drusilla misses her very-own-favoritist show.

Miss Edith does not approve.

Drusilla cries and then does nasty things to her Dark Star's side of the bed, when there is one. Then she refuses to play dirty games with him.

Which only makes her Dark Star watch Passions all the harder.

Passions is a dumb show.

Drusilla means, whoever heard of a boy doll that wants to be a real boy - right Miss Edith? All real dolls are girls and are named Miss Edith, not Timmy.

What a silly name, Timmy.

It's almost as silly as William.





Silly Willy and his silly show.


Passions is worse than chocolate eclairs without mold!

So Drusilla sits and pouts with Miss Edith on her lap while her beloved, nasty, mean, selfish Dark Star watches his nasty, mean, selfish Passions with its silly boy doll that wants to be a real boy when everyone knows that all dolls are girls named Miss Edith and could care less about being real.

Unfair! Unfair! Drusilla hates her Dark Star for being so selfish! If Papa Angelus were here, he would grab you by the hair, Dark Star, and toss you out into the daylight to smoke and sizzle while his best and prettiest darling watches her favorite show.

So, Drusilla says, "Please???"

To which Drusilla's Dark Star Replies, "Bugger!" and turns up the sound.



Miss Edith has had enough.

She wants to see Drusilla's disturbing favorite show too, not Passions.

Dumb dumb Passions.


What to do?

What to do?

What would the king of Siam do?

Papa Angelus is busy being all soppy-dribbly over the Slayer, too busy to do anything for his real, true darling, so Papa Angelus' real, true darling will have to take things into her own pretty hands and do for herself.

How vexing!

But, as Miss Edith says, there are times when a lady must make sacrifices.

This is one of them.

So Miss Drusilla grabbed her own mean, inconsiderate, selfish Dark Star by the hair and slammed his head on the floor of the lair he found for us in the cemetery which made him scream but Drusilla didn't listen - she was too busy making a sacrifice to pay any heed to his selfishness.

He screamed even louder when she tossed him out the door and into sunlight.

Drusilla listens to him even less as she locks the door.

Miss Edith approves.

And because she is a good girl, Drusilla tidies up the chair, moving all the empty beer bottles and Doritos bags aside before she sits down with Miss Edith on her lap, and changes the channel from nasty, boring Passions to her favorite show as her Dark Star sizzles like frying bacon outside.

Ah bliss! Martha will now show Drusilla how to make the perfect birthday cake, which is a good thing.