A/N Haven't been to this story for awhile but I have big news. I've decided to turn this into a series. There will be at least two more chapters of this story left (focusing a bit more on Kim and when that's done. We move onto the second part of the series Newlyweds. So it'll be Wedding Bells--Newlyweds arc--Parenthood arc.
The Diner was busy, busier than Ron would have thought for this time of the day. He looked across the diner table at James Possible. Who stared ahead, eyes open wide. Ron could only imagine what invisible scene Kim's father was viewing.
"Mr. Dr. P I..."
The waitress interrupted and delivered two bottles of coke before moving on. Their eyes met as they reached for their respective drinks.
"Mr. Dr. P about what you walked in on, I mean what you saw earlier."
James shook his head "I was only a few years younger than you when Anne's father walked into his guest room and discovered his daughter and I engaged in an amorous activity."
"What I'm saying Ronald is that the universe has quite a sense of humor."
"I'll try to not to forget that."
"No need to worry. If you find yourself blessed with children, a daughter especially, it'll all come back to you when you least expect it."
Without the slightest hesitation they reached for their bottles, popped the top and downed the drink. When they looked at each again they let out a satisfied gasp.
"It took you long enough" James said with a smile.
Ron nodded in acknowledgement "luckily Kim's a patient gal."
James fingers tapped lightly against the wooden table "so how are you feeling?"
"Feeling? I'm feeling a lot of responsibility. I'm feeling a lot of pressure. Oh and I'm pretty sure there's a bit a fear in there."
James's eyebrows arched.
"But there are these moments y'know. Like last night after Kim and I had just finished…" he noticed the blank stare coming back at him. "Skipping ahead, she was lying beside me. I was watching her sleep and I."
Ron glanced away for a moment. He turned back to James and said "I thought yea I could do this for the rest of my life. I'd be happy to."
James leaned back into his chair "hmmm"
Ron let his gaze fall to the table "I can't see myself with anyone else."
The waitress arrived once again and handed them both sandwiches and a side of potato salads.
Ron bit into his sandwich "so Mr. Dr. P how about letting me in on some of those secrets to a long-lasting happy marriage."
James grinned "it's good to have a sense of humor - and a short memory."
Ron chuckled softly.
"Oh and Ronald"
Ron looked up from his sandwich "yes sir?"
James grabbed his sandwich "you can call me James."
Ron blinked back in confusion and then his face lit up about half a minute later "sure thing Mr. Dr. P. I mean--that is going to be a really hard habit to break."
Amused James bit into his turkey club.
"You know Mr. Dr. P--"
"Right, right" Ron pressed his hand against his forehead as if he were pressing the information into his skull. "Like I was saying I may not be a veteran such us yourself but I think the years that Kim and I have been together have given me some serious prep time."
Ron watched curiously as his future father-in-law slid into the Sloth's passenger seat. Though it may have been some sort of hallucination. For a brief moment he caught a glimpse of a sagely aura emanating from the man.
"Here's one, let's say Kim appears upset, and you don't know why. You ask and she says "I'm okay" does--"
Ron chuckled proudly "already ahead of you. Eighty percent of the time "I'm okay" means "I'm not ok and I want you to stick around long enough to figure out what's wrong."
James smiled "how about the classic "do I look big in this?"
Ron rolled his eyes "too easy. "I want reassurance as to how good I look in this outfit," or "I'm insecure about how I look and need reassurance." In simpler terms "tell me I'm beautiful."
"I'm not angry" James challenged.
A soft chortle came from the driver's side "oh yea that one rarely comes up. "Of course I'm upset, why do you even have to ask?" is the underlying message there."
James ran his hands together "I want new curtains."
"And carpeting, and furniture, and wallpaper. I learned that one recently. Once about two weeks after she moved in I came home and for a brief moment I thought I had broken into somebody else's house."
"Fine, just do what you want."
"Another classic, my interpretation of that is "You will be sorry if you don't guess what I really want you to do." I'm very familiar with that one."
James clucked approvingly "well Ronald you seem to be on the top of your game, but there's more to it than that. It takes some work to keep a marriage strong; you get as much you put in."
"I bet" Ron put the key into the ignition. "I know I said I've picked up on most of Kim's Kimness. But she said something recently that had me totally confused."
"What did she say?"
"Check this out, I'm eating breakfast and she walks into the kitchen. She looks around, and says "this kitchen is a little inconvenient don't you think?" then she pours herself some cereal. What did that mean?"
"That should be pretty obvious son."
"It can't possibly be what I think it means."
"Go with your gut."
Ron vigorously rubbed his hand against the back of his neck "she wants to buy a house?"
James nodded "bingo."
But she just moved into my apartment Ron thought.
"You're getting married son, you'll have to start giving some serious thoughts about owning your own home."
Ron blew out a breath "K."
He turned on the engine and the Sloth came to life. James shifted uncomfortable in his seat before his eyes landed on a peculiar looking switch located just below the radio. A tiny label above the switch read "rockets are go." His curiosity catching the best of him James reached for the switch. Ron who had been checking the rearview mirror caught a glimpse through his peripheral vision of James' fingers grasping for the switch.
"Mr. Dr. P don't!"
Too late the flip had been switched.
James cried out when the two front seats abruptly reclined until he and Ron were practically vertical. Before he could blink the two seats snapped together like Legos, and then combined with the backseats to create a very narrow yet comfortable mattress. James looked on in surprise as the moon roof slid open, lit scented candles appeared in the cup holders, and a spinning LED disco ball arose out of the dashboard.
And to top it all off the radio came to life.
I've been really tryin , baby
Tryin to hold back these feelings for so long
And if you feel, like I feel baby
Come on, oh come on.
Ron and James quietly stared up at the ceiling. Lying on their backs, their shoulders touching, they both in their own way hoped--prayed that this was all just dream. It would be an unimaginably awkward dream for one of them indeed; but still mercifully it would only be a dream.
Let's get it on
Lets get it on
Let's get it on
Let's get it on.
And not the awful reality.
We're all sensitive people
With so much love to give, understand me sugar
Since we got to be
Lets say, I love you
"Rockets are go eh?" James commented.
"This is a very" pause "inconvenient position we're in."
"Inconvenient is not the exact word I would have used to describe this situation Mr. Dr. P."
There's nothin wrong with me
And givin yourself to me can never be wrong
If the love is true!
"I'm surprised this thing doesn't offer martinis."
Ron was about to announce that the martini machine was out for repairs but he got himself just in time.
Don't you know how sweet and wonderful, life can be
I'm askin you baby, to get it on with me
I aint gonna worry, I aint gonna push
So come on, come on, come on, come on baby
Stop beatin round the bush...
James turned to Ron "on the bright side Anne should be happy to know she probably won't have to wait that long for grandchildren."
Ron placed his hands over his face and wished for the earth to swallow him whole.
Let's get it on…..
"Yes Mr. Dr. P"
"It's James and a though I'm fond of this particular song. I wouldn't mind if everything went back to normal again."
"Oh right." Ron reached desperately for the switch.
Wordlessly Ron stepped out of the elevator of his apartment building and James followed suit. They shuffled down the hallways until they were standing before Ron's door. As Ron slid his keys into the door he felt a hand on his shoulder.
"You know if you are in need of assistance. Anne and I would be happy to help with the financing for the house."
Ron took a moment to process the information "um I appreciate the offer Mr. Dr. P but I think Kim and I should take a shot at this thing, if you can understand that."
James removed his hand from Ron's shoulder "I certainly can, and it's James."
Ron's shoulders slumped "I don't think I can do it Mr. Dr--you see I've been saying Mr. Dr. P for so many years now."
"It is it that hard to say James?"
"JJJJJJ" Ron began to stutter "JJ Mr. Dr. P."
James let out an exasperated breath "well keep working on it."
They pushed through the doors and were greeted by their respective counterparts.
"So guys did you have a good drive?" Anne asked.
Ron and James involuntarily shuddered violently at the same time. Kim wrapped her arms around Ron's waist as he and James exchanged weary glances.
"So have a nice chat?" Kim asked.
Ron mouthed "rockets are go."
Kim gasped "he didn't?"
To her horror Ron nodded solemnly in response. They heard another gasp, which was immediately followed by muffled giggles. Kim and Ron turned to see Anne and James whispering in a corner of the living room.
Rufus bounded into the room and immediately felt the pressure of the thick atmosphere. Curious he scanned the immediate area. Kim appeared mortified; Ron and Kim's father were glancing at their shoes while Kim's mother was apparently trying her hardest to suppress her laughter. The molerat shrugged and skipped towards the kitchen.
"It's always nice to have family around" Ron remarked.
A month later:
Ron speared a few wilted lettuce leaves, lifted it to his face and stared at mournfully
"Ron Stoppable eating a salad on his lunch break? You always struck me as the type to push his oh so youthful metabolism to its limits."
Ron caught sight of Barkin standing at the doorway of the Smarty Mart employee lounge. Indifferent to the remark Ron stuffed the leaves into his mouth.
Barkin strolled over to Ron's table and took a seat "what's going on?"
"Wedding" Ron blurted as he attempted to choke down the dry lettuce.
"I don't follow" Barkin said.
Ron swallowed the mouthful "Kim lost ten pounds in the last few weeks. She says she has to prepare for the wedding. I'm trying to match her enthusiasm."
"Got to look good for the prom I suppose."
Ron tapped his nose with the end of his fork. He shoveled a forkful of croutons into his mouth before glancing up briefly at Barkin.
"You might as well go ahead Stoppable I know you have more to say."
"A house" Ron started "a good house is going to run us about what eighty grand to a hundred grand tops?
Barkin regarded Ron curiously then he threw his head back and let out a loud whoop that ended in uproarious laughter.
Barkin tumbled out of his seat and rolled along the floor in a laughing fit, his body convulsed with mighty spasms.
Eventually Barkin's laughter began to subside and the substitute teacher picked himself off the ground and regained his composure.
"What?" Ron repeated
"Are you buying a house in 1982? In this state eighty grand--" Barkin paused to wipe a tear from his eye "-won't get you an empty lot built over an ancient Indian burial ground."
Ron quietly pushed a dry tomato around his salad bowl "not the most encouraging bit of news. But we can make this work, correction maybe Kim can make this work because I kind of have a credit problem."
"Try no credit. Throughout college I actually avoided credit cards."
Barkin tsked disapprovingly "what are you a communist?"
"I thought I was doing the right thing, being responsible for the future. You know, keeping myself out of credit card debt."
"What about student loans and such?"
"My parents handled all of my heavy financials ever since the "incident" with the naco royalties."
"So what you're saying is you have zero credit at the age of 25...So basically to banks you don't even live on the planet earth. With no credit you're completely off the grid."
Ron couldn't think of real reply to this. He stared silently at the salad bowl and he smile ran through a gamut of emotions ranging from self loathing to determination.
"I might have to quit" he glanced around the lounge "I have a better job lined up."
"It's your life son; you have to do what's best."
"Yeah" with a deft motion, he speared the tomato and, with flourish, he lifted it towards his lips. "yeah it is my life and I'm going to get things done, I got my low interest rate card in the mail today."
Barkin puffed out his chest "you go son, you go out there and you spend like and honest responsible American."
Ron jumped to his feet "Yessir"
Before Ron could walk out Barkin grabbed him gently by the arm "Stoppable you do realize that eventually you have to pay the credit companies back right…and on time?"
Ron studied Barkin's face hoping to find a sign that he was joking "you do realize that I'm not a complete idiot?"
Barkin leaned back into his chair "whatever you say Mr. Liberal Arts major."
Wide eyed and anxious Ron's head swiveled back and forth as he took in the interior of the empty jewelry store. This was brand new territory for him. He was like a teapot ready to boil over with intense feelings that he could no longer contain. Though he had technically proposed to Kim already the excitement of officially declaring his unconditional love left him a bit breathless with anticipation.
"Excuse me sir."
Startled Ron let out a loud yelp.
"May I assist you sir?"
Ron drew in a breath and stared at the lone man behind the counter. With no one else in sight Ron could only assume he was the jeweler. He had his hair slicked back with what Ron assumed was petroleum and he wore a tight cashmere sweater.
The jeweler offered him a sour and snooty look "may I help you?"
Ron shook off his anxiousness like a dog "yeah I'm looking for a ring for engagement. I mean an engagement ring. Do you have any of those?"
The jeweler allowed the awkward silence to hang in the air
"Yes we do."
"Great I'll take one."
"Hmmm" The jeweler ran his hands under his chin "how much do you love your significant other?"
There was moment of hesitation before Ron asked "what?"
"How much do you love her? I assume it's her."
"You assume correctly" Ron replied.
"Again, how much do you love her?"
"How much do I love her? My love is true…..it's the truest truth that has ever been um true. It is deeper than the deepest deep of unimaginable depth. Our loves grows like a schoolyard rumor, it's like sharing the remote for a show called life. A love forged on an agreement called forever."
The jeweler lifted his hand up to cut Ron off "I get it."
Ron watched as his hand lowered beneath the counter and he heard the click of a switch. Immediately a tiny platform containing a small closed treasure chest rose from the ground. Once the platform reached Ron's waist the chest popped open revealing a single sparkling ring.
"Allow me to introduce the magnificent Asscher Cut & Baguettes Platinum Engagement Ring. Perfect for only the truest of true loves."
Ron closed his eyes and he saw the ring sparkle in his eyelids "I'll tak--." Ron stopped himself "I mean how much is it?"
The jeweler pulled out a pen and a small piece of paper. He scribbled on the paper before sliding it across the counter to Ron.
Ron gazed down at it. His eyes flickered back from the jeweler to the note "is this your phone number? I mean I'm flattered but--"
"That is the price of the ring sir."
His legs giving way Ron balanced himself against the counter "am I getting a share of the store with this?"
"No but the ring does come with a lifetime guarantee of commitment."
Ron's eyes widened for the second time that day "really?"
"No." The jeweler muttered with disdain. "That was a joke."
"Oh" Ron stared despondingly at the platinum engagement ring "I don't think this ring is in my ball park. I mean I will be looking at houses in the not too distant future y'know."
The jeweler shrugged indifferently "let's find something that is in your ball park."
Abashed Ron turned to the jeweler "I mean I wouldn't put a price on my love. But now is not the time for uh." He wanted to say luxuries but it pained him too much to say it.
"Whatever, you say sir."
To Ron's dismay the chest slammed shut and the platform lowered into the ground, fading away from him as if he had been chosen to be unworthy.
No I shall not despair!
"My good man, show me you're finest ring. And by that, I mean from one to four thousand dollars kind of finest."
After close to an hour of cerebration, consideration, contemplation, deliberation, meditation, reflection, rumination, and speculation over a wide variety of rings; Ron excitedly tapped against the glass counter.
"This, this is it." Ron cried. "This is perfect."
"Are you sure sir?"
"Let me do a reference check." Ron pulled his cell from his back pocket and took a picture of the ring with the camera phone.
He slapped the phone shut and placed it on the counter "I'm sending the picture to a friend of mine; she and Kim, my fiancée--" Ron stopped.
"That's a weird word fiancée, fiaaancéeeee."
"Right, my friend and Kim have similar tastes in stuff."
The jeweler let out a few sighs and Ron whistled softly to himself as they waited for the incoming phone call. A minute of so later, his cell began to vibrate violently on the countertop. Ron snatched it up and snapped the phone open.
"Yo Mo what do you think?"
Ron pressed the phone against his ear "uh-huh, yeah, uh-huh….sure." He then pushed the phone away from his face.
"She's crying" he whispered to the jeweler.
"Is that a good thing sir?"
"I think. It sounds like the good type of crying. Sometimes I can't tell." He placed the phone back to his ear "Mo--Monique, yeah, I, uh yes it's beautiful, yeah chances are you and Kim will get married in the same year, right, it's a big deal I know, yes love is a magical thing, I understand…Mo--Mo--MONIQUE!--Should I buy the ring?"
He winced and pulled away when a resounding yes came from the other side of the line. Ron returned the phone to his ear, thanked Monique for her help and put the cell away.
"I think she liked it. I'll ta--Wait, no! I have to ask, this isn't one of those blood diamonds is it?"
The jeweler rolled his eyes "you have my guarantee sir that it is not."
"I'll take it!"
"Will that be cash or cre—
Ron swiftly slapped a brand new credit card onto the counter. "Booyah."
Sitting at the far end of their dinner table, Kim and Ron gave each other hard stares, distant, cold, no emotion.
"I know it's my turn, but since I do most of the cooking….." Ron let his words trail off
"Well that wouldn't be a problem if someone let me do something in the kitchen once in awhile."
"You cook all the time."
"Dinner?" Kim asked with a hint of edge in her voice.
Ron bit his bottom lip "it's not that I don't want you to cook dinner. It's just uh I have more specialties."
"I have specialties" Kim said
"Flutter nutters are not dinner specialties" Ron countered.
"Oh so that's how you want to play eh? You want to play games?" Kim said as they exchanged weak smiles.
"You better believe it sister."
She tilted her head "Ron I love you."
He nodded "Kim I absolutely love you."
Kim's gaze did not waver "I absolutely, definitely love you."
"I absolutely, definitely, devotedly love you" he responded.
"I absolutely, definitely, devotedly, doubtlessly, love you" she said.
She smirked "I absolutely, definitely, devotedly, doubtlessly, firmly love you."
"I absolutely, definitely, devotedly, doubtlessly, firmly, genuinely, love you."
They continued, back and forth non stop for the next five minutes until they finally hit a lull when Ron began to falter.
"Go on" Kim pressed.
"The rules say I've got thirty seconds" he announced. "I…I absolutely, definitely, devotedly, doubtlessly, firmly, honestly, righteously, sincerely, surely, truthfully, unequivocally, madly, wholly, fully, enthusiastically, love you."
He topped the whole thing off with a wide grin.
"That's sweet" she declared lovingly. "But you forgot 'genuinely.' It came right after firmly and right before honestly. And that means you lose and you have to do the dishes."
Ron's face scrunched up in disappointment and he smacked his right palm against his forehead "this is so not fair."
Kim pushed her chair from the table and got up to her feet "you know the rules, you challenged and you lost. Rules are what separate us from the animals."
Ron ran his hands across his face "you know I meant everything I said."
She walked over to him and pecked him lightly on the cheek "your appeal has been noted but denied. When you're done with this, before you jump on the video games I want to talk about the big day."
"Sure" He glanced at the sink full of dishes and moaned.
When Ron entered the bedroom Kim was lying comfortably in bed and sifting through a pile of documents.
He walked over to the foot of the bed and bowed "I've done the dishes master, is there anything else that you desire."
"Hilarious" Kim commented without looking up at him.
Ron paused to admire her. She was wearing one of his jerseys and very little else. His shirt reached down past her waist, so from the angle he was standing at, it was hard to tell if she was wearing her usual boy shorts or possibly something cotton. Perhaps yet even something of the lacy variety.
Either way his blood was pumping.
"Hello? Are you listening?" she asked while reclining on her elbows.
He stared at her hungrily "Kim I'm totally in tune with what you're thinking."
"Ok" she pulled out a massive folder. Then she looked up to see that Ron had removed his shirt and was working on his belt.
Before she could say anything else Ron had stripped down to his boxers. He walked over to her bed and sat down beside her. He stared into her eyes, and took her left hand carefully into his.
"Yes KP?" he asked innocently.
She gave him a delightful smile "Ron I really appreciate the enthusiasm, really, but I remember distinctively saying that we needed to talk."
"Sure that's why I'm here."
"I'm not so sure about that. For one thing you've got your bedroom eyes--
He blinked rapidly at her.
"--plus you're massaging my hand and working your way up."
"No I'm not" Ron glanced down to see that his fingers were deftly moving up her forearm. He pulled away "point taken."
She sat up crossed her legs and stared at him with her insanely deep green eyes. "Ron focus this is important."
"I hear what you're saying but." He looked at her bare legs and then back at her "you're sending mixed signals here."
"How am I sending you mixed signals?"
"Well for one thing you're wearing my shirt; if that's not a mating call of some sort then I don't know what is."
She made a move to get up "alright I'm going to change."
Ron pulled her back down "ok, ok, I'm good. I'm good."
He pointed at his face "note the serious face. Let's talk about the wedding which if I recall correctly is months away."
"I know but" she handed him the folder "My mom and I have devised a few spreadsheets and we printed out this checklist. We can use them when visiting venues for the ceremony so we can remember to ask all the important questions and also so we can remember the answers. And additionally we could use them to calculate the costs and--
"Wait a minute" Ron interrupted as he scanned all the work the Possible females had done "the wedding is months away" he repeated.
"I know" she said "A few months away."
He found that he had no reply to this statement.
"There better not be any monkeys" Ron blurted out loud. "That's my only stipulation for now."
"Why would we have monkeys at the wedding?"
"I'm just putting it out there."
"Fine" Kim placed her checklist into a clipboard and penned a few notes onto it "no monkeys"
So far they were leaning towards the traditional white wedding, though that wasn't necessarily set in stone. They did however agree that they wanted a sit down meal and an evening reception. Ron had mentioned a disco but he wasn't sure that Kim had heard him either that or she was ignoring him.
His hands folded under his head Ron gazed up at the ceiling "when we were five we had a fake wedding and we pretended to travel to the wedding in a horse and carriage.
Kim was silent for a moment from sheer surprise "you remember that?"
"I remember reciting vows before Father Stretch Armstrong."
"Horse and carriage, like in a fairy tale" Kim remarked
Ron let out a melodramatic sigh "oh the things you had me doing back then."
She tossed a pillow at him "you liar, you enjoyed playing pretend as much as I did."
"I plead the fifth" he laughed.
"But it's funny that we are now decades later actually planning a real wedding. If only we knew way back then."
"If only we knew" Ron echoed.
After some quiet reflection Kim shrugged "ok I'm just going to come out and say it. I'd really like the horse and carriage."
A grin came to Ron's face "on one condition; we must have the theme to Top Gun playing in the background during our vows."
"Quid pro quo Kim, Quid pro quo."
"So I was thinking we should probably serve chicke--ok stop"
Hey, girl, ain't no mystery, at least as far as I can see. I wanna keep you here layin' next to me, sharin' our love between the sheets.
"Ron, when did you turn on the radio?"
Kim moaned slightly in protest and pulled away; as Ron ran his fingers through her hair and attempted to kiss her exposed neck and chin.
He scooted closer closing the gap between them. He caught her hands; and kissed and nuzzled his way towards her wrist. She closed his eyes and breathed in his scent as he made his way upward.
"When did you find the time to put on body lotion?"
"When you were talking about the brides' maid dresses" he answered
She sniffed again "mmmm I love the smell of coco butter"
Kim relaxed into the pleasure as he kissed, nibbled and licked at her neck. She purred softly "now this isn't fair; how did you get so good at seducing me?"
"Practice, practice, practice" he whispered into her ear.
Ooh, girl, I'll love you all night long. And I know you felt it comin' on, ooh, darlin' just taste my love, ooh you taste so sweet, sharin' our love between the sheets.
Abruptly the mood was immediately shattered when the phone started to ring. Simultaneously their eyes darted to the nightstand where the phone seemed to be ringing louder than it ever had, since they purchased it. Kim attempted to get up but Ron held her close.
"The phone is ringing." She told him.
"This moment right here" he started. "This moment here, is exactly why answering machines were invented."
The voice that came from the answering machine was soft, friendly and familiar.
"Tara" Ron muttered under his breath.
I just wanted to remind you guys about the dinner party on Saturday.
Ron silently mouthed "no."
"It's not like she can hear us…..besides, we have no choice I already promised them we would come."
Josh has this painting that Ron would absolutely adore--
Ron let out a loud moan of exasperation and frustration.
--and we got this brand new coffee table from Italy that I'm just dying to…Tina what are you doing? No Tina, you do that in the potty--in the potty--no don't do THAT!"
Kim and Ron exchanged glances.
Ok fine, fine just don't touch, don't touch it….watch out for the walls, Tina the walls, we just had the walls painted. Tina…..Tina! TINA, MOMMY WILL HIT….MOMMY WILL HIT!
Ron and Kim's eyes went wide at the same time.
JOSH, JOSH--she's doing it again--Yes….I don't know--I don't know where the gloves are….use your hands--I don't care……You can just wash it out of your clothes later--She's your daughter Josh, it's not going to give you leprosy. Yeah-- It's called bleach maybe if you washed something once in awhile--Uh-huh yeah well your mother isn't here is she Josh? And if she was here I'd tell her to mind her own freaking business! Who is she to tell me how to raise my daughter! What, oh please--Here's what you do Josh, carry her in your body for nine months, push all eight pounds and six ounces of her out of one of your holes; drug free I might add, I'm talking Au freaking Natural; then, then we'll compare notes and complain about the little things together!
Ron ran his hand through his hair "ok this is a little uncomfortable"
Two seconds, that's all I'm asking for. Two seconds to use the # phone is that too much to ask for?! You see what you did? You made me curse in front of Tina!
There came a pause.
So we'll see you two on Saturday right? It should be a great night; Josh, Tina and I are so excited! We're on pins and needles; we just can't wait to see you guys! Ciao for now."
After the long period of silence that followed the terminating click; Ron ventured out of his daze and glanced at Kim.
"Penny for your thoughts?" she said.
He ran his tongue over his bottom lip "Kim we haven't really discussed it detail--
"I know" she stated
He lifted his gaze to hers "KP I understand, I know the thing with the puppy--
"What thing with the puppy" she interrupted. "Oh and F.Y.I her name is Esther."
Ron's right eyebrow arched "Esther? Esther as in my mother's middle name Esther?"
"Isn't it adorable?"
An awkward pause followed as Ron's brain crashed and rebooted. After sifting through the abundance of thoughts that had popped up, he combined the good ones into an appropriate response.
"Yes, adorable." He said quickly before clearing his throat. "Now I would absolutely love to, with you, eventually beget a new generation of Stoppables as my ancestors did before me. It would, WILL be a highlight of my life but--
"Go on" she said.
"--Give me a sec I'm processing…..KP, remember when you moved in and Esther went through her 'pee in Ron's sneakers phase.' That led to a few; I'm not saying it was anybody's fault; but it did lead to a few fights between us. We didn't exactly prepare to have a puppy living with us, together."
"So what I'm extrapolating from that is, you don't think we're "emotionally" prepared to bear the responsibility of having children."
"That's not what I said" he replied. "But that is kind of what I'm saying."
She went silent as she reflected on what he was "saying."
Visibly anxious he asked "penny for your thoughts KP?"
"Um" Kim glanced briefly at the answering machine. "I think that we should give the marriage time to get established before adding the stress of pregnancy and children."
Ron's head bobbed up and down
She continued "it would probably be in our very best interests to give ourselves time to enjoy one another, alone….for a while."
"For a very temporary while" Ron stated.
"Of course" her eyes darted back to the phone. "You think Tara and Josh will be alright?"
Ron scoffed "are you kidding? This is TASH we're talking about. I've gotten cavities hanging around those two. They deserve each other."
Kim smiled "I've heard the same said about us."
"Uh-uh we're nowhere near as bad as them. I'm very proud of that fact."
Kim laughed and shifted her position on the bed "you still….?"
"Um" Ron's eyes again went to the answering machine. A sigh escaped his lips and he released Kim from his embrace
"It's uh; I may need some time to recover."
"I'm not sure if it should be a small intimate wedding or a big affair. The thought crossed my mind to have it at the beach but that might be too tacky." She glanced over at Ron who was now lying with his back to her.
She heard muffled snoring coming from him.
"Are you asleep?"
"Big affair" he muttered.
"Huh" Kim twirled her hair between her fingers while she reflected on the situation "so you want a big wedding?"
"Big affair" He muttered once again.
"It'll be expensive."
"Uh huh" he continued snoring.
"It'll be very expensive."
He didn't reply
She nudged him ever so lightly "It'll be really, really expensive." She whispered.
His body twitched "that's fine."
"I mean we don't need to have fireworks."
Kim scribbled onto a sheet "ok fireworks. What do you think about releasing a dozen white doves after the vows?"
"I like the doves too" Kim said as she continued scribbling "ok now here's a biggie, if you want to have the wedding at a castle then don't say anything."
Kim grinned, "spankin."
"You do know I'm actually awake right?"
"No big I'm getting all the answers I need" she announced with a smile.
Ron placed the back of his head onto Kim's lap and stared up at her "Star Wars then?"
"Lord of the Rings?"
"We're not having a theme wedding Ron!"
"I'm telling you we should totally have a medieval festival style wedding."
She looked down at him "I was joking about the castle thing."
"But think about it, you could come out in a medieval lace dress or maybe a trimmed velvet cloak like some kind of ancient Celtic princess."
"Why would I do that?"
"Why wouldn't you? You'd look great; you'd be the envy of all ladies across the lands."
She rolled her eyes "OK"
"If anyone could pull it off it's be you. Cuz my lady is a classic beauty mixed with modern hotness."
A smile on her face Kim quietly traced the lines of his face with her fingertips "awww you're just saying that because you're trying to get in my pants."
She lowered her head; with her eyes narrowed and her lips already parted, she kissed him. Breaking the kiss she said "and you're succeeding marvelously."
She kissed him again and when it over they were both breathing raggedly.
"I wasn't joking about the castle" she said.
Ron sat up and pulled Kim into him "Now you're just taking advantage of me."
He laid her onto her back and resumed the intense kissing.
They stopped immediately and looked at each other. Kim shrugged and Ron cursed under his breath.
There wasn't a window or a door in sight. Kim made note of this as she stood in the middle of the room. She held out her forearm and aimed the face of her Kimmunicator towards the wall. She pushed a button on the Kimmunicator and it projected a beam of light that washed over the walls.
"So, we got caught by who?"
Kim turned to see Ron at the far end of the large room sitting in the lotus position.
"Hank Perkins" she slowly made her way across the room coating the walls with the light emanating from her watch.
"Was he the guy who interned for Drakken that one time?"
"That's him. He must have come back to take another stab at the villain life."
Ron shut his eyes and drew in a breath "so is this a new low for us?"
"I don't know; if I recall correctly he seemed pretty competent. He did take away most of my gear and he locked up Rufus."
"True but he let you keep the Kimmunicator and he didn't separate us."
Ron let out a deep breath and unfolded his legs "I'm ready, when you are."
"I'll be done scanning in just a sec" she told him as she aimed towards the very high ceiling.
His back against the wall Ron yawned loudly "here's something I've been thinking about. In a few months, I won't be able to call you KP anymore."
Kim aimed at the floor "I know what you're thinking and I have already prepared for this."
"Really?" Ron exclaimed genuinely surprised.
"Yep, you can call me Kim on weekdays; sweetie, Kimi, or Kimala, on the weekends, my darling Kimberly Ann on Valentines Day; Kimsy-Whimsy when you're feeling playful; gorgeous and or ravishing on every other major holiday."
"Huh, that sounds reasonable. So when do I call you Mrs. Stoppable?"
Kim glanced over her shoulder and gave Ron a devilishly inviting look "when you're, at your happiest of course."
A sliver of excitement ran through his spine. "I couldn't possibly love you anymore more than I do now."
Hello, hello is this thing on. This is Hank Perkins speaking.
"PA system in the walls" Kim told Ron.
Team Possible welcome to your doom! Mwhahahahaha (clears throat) Wait let me try that again…..MWHAHAHAHAHAHAHA.
Spikes protruded from the ceiling and to no one's surprise the entire ceiling, spikes and all, slowly began to descend upon them.
Ron yawned again "the old spiked ceiling gag. Hank's a hack alright."
Kim glared at the trap "it's moving unusually slow, don't you think?"
The ceiling moved at a snail's paces, descending only a few inches every forty seconds. Kim calculated that they would have at least five minutes before it even came close enough for them to begin worrying.
Sorry about the wait folks but unfortunately I couldn't afford a brand new ceiling trap. Lairs are pretty expensive to maintain. But I've just been informed by my henchmen, that I can take the opportunity to mock and belittle you unmercifully as you await your untimely death. You know play some mind games, a little psychological trauma.
"Go for it." Kim challenged.
Alright let me take a look at my notes here…oh it says here you're getting married. Can you confirm or deny this?
"Yeah we're getting hitched alright." Ron declared.
Oh this is interesting Stoppable I'm looking over your profile here and; I uh minored in psychology by the way; according to your character type you should absolutely be freaked out by the prospect marriage. It says here that the responsibility and the pressure brought on by society's image of an ideal husband should have you swamped in fear and distress. So the question is why would someone like you want to get married?
Kim rescanned a section of the wall and motioned for Ron to come over.
One would have to assume that you were pressured into this situation. I mean is it that much of a stretch? You personality profiler also says you are the type to easily become hopelessly devoted.
Kim slapped her hand against the wall. Ron nodded to her and took a fighting stance.
For all intents in purposes you hit the jackpot, you'll probably never do better than Kim Possible. So you bit the bullet, You thought you made the choice but you didn't really, you were badgered into getting married, trapped, pressured by her overbearing Type A personality. Did you say yes or did you just surrender! In the war of love Stoppable you're most definitely French……
Ron punched the wall and it exploded outwards creating a man sized hole that he and Kim could walk through.
"Ladies first" Ron replied.
Kim pecked him lightly on the cheek and he followed her out of the trap. The hole led them into what could only be the control room of the lair. They traversed through the room, following the sound of Perkin's voice, until they came upon their captor.
Perkins sat before a control panel with his back to them "you surrendered, you are weak, remember that as you die!" Perkins cackled.
"Yo" Ron called out.
Perkins twirled in his seat to face Team Possible "oh I knew I shouldn't have sent the henchmen out for lunch."
"And you should also have cameras in the trap dude."
Kim nudged Ron with her elbow "no tips for the villains Ron."
"So it's over?" Perkins asked anxiously.
"Not quite" Moving quickly Kim belted Hank with a roundhouse punch knocking him unconscious. "Now it's over."
"That's going to sting when he wakes up." Ron turned his attention to Kim; who seemed more than agitated.
"It had to be done. He was a jerk." she proclaimed.
Ron looked over at Hank's body "you don't hear me complaining. But you look upset."
"I'm not upset" she said before quickly brushing past him. "I need to be alone for a minute."
"Something is up" Ron muttered to himself.
Candles flickered softly on the dinner table, soft music drifted through the air and a bottle of wine chilled in a bucket of ice next to the candles. It would have been an utterly romantic scene if Ron hadn't been alone or sleepy.
His eyelids like sandbags Ron tried desperately to stay awake.
Ever since they foiled Perkins Kim had been a bit antsy to say the least. What better way to cheer her up then finally giving her the ring? There would be no better night then tonight to surprise her.
But she was running late.
After racking his brain for hours on how to present the ring, he decided to bake Kim's favorite dessert; a scrumptious mini strawberry cheesecake; and hide the ring in the upper layer. Drowsily Ron looked over the room. He saw Rufus ridding Esther like a cowboy on a bucking bronco and it may him chuckle. But it wasn't enough to keep him from blacking out.
Like sleeping beauty Ron was awakened by a kiss. His eyes fluttered open to see Kim face before him.
"Hey" he said.
"Hey I'm sorry I ruined your plans."
"Plans" Ron muttered weakly as he wiped the sleep from his eyes "oh right"
"I feel so bad, if I had known I would have been here sooner. But then again if I had known it wouldn't have been a surprise. Still I love the execution a candlelight dinner for two is very, very sweet."
"Oh right" Ron repeated as he began to recall his plans for the night. It was just about then that he noticed the plate of crumbs on the table.
"Kim, when did you come in?"
She shrugged "um maybe a half hour ago."
He continued to eye the crumb filled plate "why didn't you wake me up when you got home?"
She pinched his cheek teasingly 'Well you looked so adorable I thought I'd let you sleep awhile longer."
"Uh-huh did you find it?"
She followed his eyes to the plate. "Oh the cake, yes and it was perfect" she exclaimed with her eyes closed.
"And?" Ron asked nervously.
"And…?" Kim stated.
Ron's eyes went back and forth from the plate to Kim. "Is that all you have to say?"
"Oh" she smiled "alright I know, I said I was on a diet but I missed lunch and I was sooooooo hungry and before I realized it I had eaten the whole thing."
"You….you're kidding me right? You're joking, you're playing me? Tell me it's April Fools day and I didn't notice!"
Kim looked perplexed "I--huh?"
He stood up "don't tell me you ate the entire cake?!"
"Ok" Kim put her hands up in mock surrender "I know I pigged out and I should have saved you a piece but I think you might be overeating just a little bit. It was perfect but it wasn't that perfect."
Shocked beyond belief Ron turned on his heels, walked into the kitchen and poured himself a cup of water. He reentered the living room, guzzled the water and let the cup dramatically fall from his hands onto the floor.
Kim waited silently as the light from her watch covered her. "How does it look Wade?" she asked when the scan was over.
"X-ray is positive; there is some definite bling bouncing around in your stomach. You know I've heard about dogs eating wedding rings but this is just on another level of--
Kim glared at Wade "this is not funny."
"Come on, you've got to admit it is actually kind of funny."
Exasperated she turned off her Kimmunicator
Kim and Ron eyed each other, or more specifically they locked their gazes to each others eyes. Then their gazes fell to the floor, and then returned to each other. Eventually Ron broke the silence.
"You ate the engagement ring I brought you" he said softly.
"I didn't know! Why would you put it in the cake anyway?"
"It was supposed to be a surprise; it was supposed to be romantic, according to this movie I saw. It was supposed to be a night to remember."
"Well…" Kim avoided his gaze. Then she managed to bring a grim smile to her face "I ate the ring."
"You ate the ring!"
"I know I ate the ring, I just said I ate the ring, you don't need to tell me that I ate the ring. I feel really bad about eating the ring."
Ron sighed "is your stomach alright? Are you feeling any pains or cramps that we should be worried about? We need to get you to an emergency room because I don't think a diamond has any nutritional value."
"I feel fine I guess" she patted her stomach. "It's probably no real big. Like a baby swallowing a penny you know."
Ron shook his head "like a baby swallowing a penny. Do you not realize that it was your engagement ring! It was beautiful, it was expensive…………and you ate it!"
"I'm sorry I ate it, I'm sorry."
As Kim apologized Ron began to pace back and forth "you know what this is right? It's a sign, it's an omen, the universe is saying "Ron you idiot, if you can't even deliver the engagement ring properly, how in the world are you going to get a marriage to last. We might as well call the whole thing off right now."
Kim twitched nervously while she ran her fingers through her hair "if that's what you want."
Ron stopped mid-pace "huh?"
She looked away "if you feel that it's the best thing for you right now; then we can call it all off."
Ron coughed into his fist "whoa, whoa, something is whacked here. I panic and exaggerate the situation, and you reassure me with kindness and logic. That's how we work, that's our system. You're being completely out of character here."
"Ron I don't want to pressure you into doing something that you're not entirely comfortable with."
"Wha…" he stopped to figure out how the conversation had reached this point. "Is this because I haven't thrown myself into the wedding planning? Our moms and your grandmother were creating pie graphs and templates and statistics, it's a bit overwhelming."
"I understand, and if you don't feel like you're ready for all that I can wait."
Ron took a moment to study her face "is this because of what Hank Perkins said. He's a villain Kim, villains are notorious liars."
"I know that, but he made some points, I mean before Al's funeral you weren't really….I know he was a great friend of yours and the whole thing hit you really, really hard but right after that came the wonderful, wonderful proposal and it was such wonderful moment that was so wonderful."
His arms wide open he said "it was wonderful, I know, I'm glad it was wonderful. Wonderful was something I was trying to recreate tonight but this is happening instead."
Kim's lips quivered slightly as she spoke "I just want you to know I won't be upset if we're not exactly on the same page. Ok I might be a bit upset but I won't be angry. I don't want it to feel like you were given an ultimatum. I'm genuinely happy just being here."
"For the record, this is a strange, strange turn of events." Ron told her.
"Just think about, go with what you feel is right ok." She made a gesture to the front door "I'm going to get some air."
Stunned Ron watched her go.
She walked now in silence, besides the heavy breathing that accompanied her rapid footsteps. Kim made it down to the lobby of the apartment building in record time, and then she practically sprinted towards the parked Sloth.
Eyes a tad misty she popped into the driver's seat. She was quickly backing out of her parking space when she heard a loud thump. She turned away from the back window to see that someone had jumped onto the hood of her car.
"Ow" the person moaned before rolling off the hood onto the ground.
The person's voice was all too familiar. She rolled down her window and stuck her head out "Ron is that you?"
"Yeah" came a weak voice from the front of the vehicle "you're probably wondering why I did that; well I was trying to stop you."
"So you jumped on the hood of my car."
"I didn't want you to leave!"
"You could have called out my name!"
Ron crawled into her field of vision "ok I admit that might have been a little impulsive…..God I think I sprained my wrist. Apparently the MMP doesn't take stupidity into consideration."
Kim stepped out of the car and checked his swollen wrist "are you insane?"
He sat up "let's not focus on my illogical actions, let's focus on the real issues here. The key issues, let's talk about that."
Kim inhaled and exhaled "I know Perkins was messing with us but I didn't want you to feel like I strong armed you into something you weren't ready for. Because down the road that just leads to resentment; I had this dream recently, where years into our major you woke up one morning and you hated me. And then I had to explain to the kids that daddy left because he felt our ten years of marriage was a lie."
Ron stared at Kim with sympathetic eyes "KP you should have told me sooner we could have been paranoid and insecure together."
He stopped to gather his thoughts.
"I'm going to be completely honest; I did hesitate when you first hinted at the marriage, heck when you hinted at moving in with me, I thought "what we have now is great, why add more responsibility to it?"
"But that was high school Ron talking. High school Ron is the same Ron who felt like he did too much work when he got a B- minus. I may be a college grad but every now and then high school Ron will pop in. I hate H. S Ron and maybe he'll always be a part of me but he's doesn't know what's best for me. He's an idiot. But he can be overcome, smothered by common sense and overpowering feelings. Because like that song….that song whose lyrics I am unfortunately blanking on."
He snapped his fingers vigorously against his ear. After awhile his face lit up.
"Kim I love you today more than yesterday, but not as much as tomorrow. That's how I feel."
Kim placed her hands in his "I know that you love me I'm not doubting that. That's why I don't want you to feel like you surrendered to something--
He gave her hand a little squeeze "the morning I did that wonderful proposal. I looked in the bathroom mirror and I asked myself this. I said "self if you had the chance, ignoring the big ceremony, ignoring the fanfare and the hype; if you had the chance to marry Kim this very second would you do it?"
He drew in a breath "I told myself without any hesitation "yes I would." And I mean that literally. I was actually talking to myself like a crazy person."
"Kim our future is bright, or destiny is manifest. If you want to get married right now, let's go, we can catch a flight to Nevada we'll be married by tomorrow afternoon, I guarantee--."
But before he could finish the sentence, she kissed him with the passion and intensity of someone who had, for years been starving for attention. She kissed him without taking the time to notice if he were kissing her back.
When finally she stopped she said "I appreciate the offer but I'm looking forward to the big ceremony, the fanfare and the hype. It would make me really happy."
"I wouldn't want it any other way."
They looked at each other and started to giggle
"I swallowed the ring" she said softly.
"You swallowed the ring."
"I'm really sorry" she said. "But now we've got another story to tell at parties."
He kissed her again. Their lips pressed lightly together he said "I'll take the opportunity to say I don't feel like I surrendered at all, in fact I'm clearly the big winner here."
She closed her eyes and reopened them a moment later "So am I. Ron I can't see myself being with anyone else, ever" she told him.
"Awww, you're just saying that because you love me."
She nuzzled her cheek against his "actually I'm just trying to get in your pants."
He grinned "oh-ho you should know by now that you don't really need to try that hard."
"Well then I say rockets are go" she cooed into his ear
He was about to pull her closer when a thought occurred to him. "Wait a minute before this goes any further. I need to know something about that dream you had."
"You said kids as in the plural to kid. How many kids were in that dream?"
"Y'know I swallowed a ring, and you sprained your wrist. We should really be getting to a hospital."
"Wait a minute answer the question."
"We'll uh cross that bridge when we get there" she stood up and made her way to the Sloth.
"Hey hold on a sec, was it two, it was two right?"
"I vaguely recall twins being involved" Kim replied as she slid behind the wheel.
"Involved?" he said incredulously. "What do you mean involved?"
"Are you getting in?" she called out to him.
"Ok three, was it three. It had to be three."
"Honestly I don't remember."
"Oh you are so lying. I know because you are a terrible liar."
High beams flashed over Ron's body and to Kim he clearly resembled a deer caught in the headlights.
"Four?! It couldn't have been have been more than four. You're not telling me it's more than four are you? ...………. Look I'm sorry but five is definitely where I have to draw the line."
"Get in the car" she laughed.
A/N Hope you enjoyed the fluff. A few of the situations may seem exaggerated but I think most of it works ;)
Read and review folks. Reviews are food for the soul.