A/N When I found out Sawyer was a daddy it really got my mind ticking over time with ideas. It really distracted me from the episode, but hopefully it made for a good fic beginning. So enjoy the fruits of my musing now, while you get the chance (Knowing my luck it'll be gone by tomorrow) :)
Prologue - A Tainted Start
When Clementine Phillips was four years old she was playing in the park on the swings. Her best friend in the world; a young boy named John, came and sat beside her.
Clementine knew John's Mummy well, but had never seen the man that had accompanied him to the park. "Who's that?" She asked curiously.
John looked to where she was pointing. "My Daddy." He replied without hesitation. "Can I tell you a secret Clemmy?"
"Yes." She said with a tiny shrug, straightening her blue safari hat and leaning in close so no one else could hear.
"He's superman." John whispered.
Clemmy glanced at the man once more and wondered if her Dad, wherever he was, was Superman too.
When Clemmy was six she got up in front of the whole class, her heart pounding furiously. She looked down at the dozens of tiny faces staring up at her expectantly and gulped.
"Well, go on Clementine. Tell us." Miss Jones said kindly.
"My Mummy works in a restaurant." She said clearly and quickly. Pleased that her ordeal was over she went to sit down but was stopped by the teacher.
"And your Daddy?"
Clemmy paused; she looked down at her shoes.
"I don't know Miss Jones."
With that she sat down on the floor cross legged, her chin resting on her knuckles. She didn't hear what the other kids said when they got up.
When Clemmy was eight she had a terrible day at school. On the trip home she silently pondered on the words that had been thrown at her all day.
"What's wrong Clemmy?" Cassidy asked, taking her eyes away from the road for just a second to glance at her daughter in concern. Clemmy was a lot of things, but quiet wasn't usually one of them.
"Michael Flinders was calling me names."
"What?" Cassidy asked horrified. She parked the car on the side of the road and looked down at her green eyed daughter. "What'd he call you baby?"
"He called me a barstard. I'm not a barstard Mummy. I saw it on TV once and the man who was being called a barstard had done something awful… I haven't done anything awful Mummy."
Gripping the steering wheel Cassidy's knuckles whitened.
"Of course you haven't baby." She whispered. Hands shaking she put the car into gear and kept her glassy eyes on the road.
Clemmy clung to her seat belt wanting nothing more than to ask what 'Barstard' really meant, but didn't dare because she didn't want to upset her mother further.
When Clemmy was ten she sat on her bed with the curtains closed. She looked out into the hallway and made sure her mother wasn't checking up on her.
She rolled over and stuck her head under the bed retrieving a wrapped present. She pulled it apart within seconds and pulled out the stripy blue tie she'd bought at the Men's wear shop herself.
With trembling fingers she opened the card she'd written.
I hope you have a good father's day!
She placed it back in the envelope and stared at the peeling wall in front of her, hoping that maybe one day, she wouldn't spend father's day sitting in her bedroom wishing she knew him.
When Clemmy was thirteen, her friend Amanda came to school crying; bearing the news that her father had been killed over seas. Clemmy could only think of one thing to say; "I know how you feel."
Amanda stopped crying and looked up for a moment; angrily.
"No you don't. You never will."
And as Clemmy watched her stomp away, she thought that though she might never know what it was really like to lose a father, she did know what it was like to lose him without him even being there.
When Clemmy was fifteen she wanted to go to John's sixteenth birthday party, unfortunately it was the same weekend she was going to her grandparents' house in Connecticut. It meant more to her mother than anything else that yearly visit, and there was no way of getting out of it.
Unless… Clemmy lied.
She told her mother that she had a huge chemistry lesson that Saturday afternoon for extension, and that if she missed it she'd fail the entire semester.
Cassidy found out two months later and was furious. She fought with Clemmy for hours and it only ended when, in frustration she yelled; "That's just the sort of thing he'd do!"
Clemmy did something she'd never done; something that she'd thought was too weak to do before…
She fled to her room, locked the door, flung herself down on her bed and cried herself to sleep.
Dreaming that he'd come in and make it all better.
Because that's what fathers did.
When Clemmy was seventeen, she asked her mother what her father had been like but got no answer because Cassidy was unable to talk audibly.
Two days later, Cassidy died in her hospital bed after a long battle with cancer, having not revealed any information about Clemmy's father.
You have a date with that tiny purple button ;) It'll only take a second too... Please???Insert blue eyed child for bribing purposes.. How could you say no to that face:)