Title: Lessons on Loosing and Holding on

Author: Skychild

Fandom: Ouran Highschool Host Club

Pairing: KyouyaKaoru

Date: 17/04/07

Author's Note: My second Ouran fic within one week… the evil demon of fandom really got to me this time. Too many ideas running around in my head… This was actually planned as an one-shot, however, according to my ever-so-annoying muse there definitely is going to be at least one more chapter… we'll see.


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Chapter One

They made sure it only happened during school time, in those brief moments right before the Host Club opened, with Hunny and Mori still enjoying their lunch, and Hikaru and Tamaki being busy dancing attendance around Haruhi.

At those times, it might happen that Kyouya was already there, having no sense for overlong dessert sessions or "getting some fresh air", as both Tamaki and Hikaru called their bugging the brown-eyed commoner girl. It might also happen that, while Kyouya was sitting on the couch, doing some research on his laptop, the quiet opening and closing of the door would be heard, followed by soft steps.

And sometimes, shortly after that, he felt slender fingers trailing along the back of his neck, gently caressing his nape, ghosting over the line where his scalp hair started.

There even were times when he didn't ignore the way those fingers turned into palms, gently massaging his nape and shoulders, but stopped typing instead and closed his eyes, making absolutely no move or sound to acknowledge the presence behind him.

It happened that the other gently used his nails on the white skin until he felt Kyouya's soft shiver, something the older boy would try to suppress to the very end. Once he felt his senpai shivering, he knew he'd won.

- - -

They made sure it only happened during school time. No private meetings, phone calls, shared glances aside from that, nothing that would make people wonder. None was to know what both of them denied knowing.

Kaoru would then kneel down behind Kyouya, loosing draping his arms around the older one's neck, his fingers keeping up their exploring, mapping, touching, only now they would extend their gentle caresses to ears and throat, following the protruding line of the collarbone to the adam's apple that was moving rapidly beneath his touch. After lightly resting his palm against the slender column of the throat, making his thumb brush against Kyouya's chin line, he would then sent his fingers up to the ears, tracing their outlines.

Around the same time, lest Kyouya found the time to regain his reason, he allowed his lips to softly skim over the dark-haired boy's nape, following the paths his fingers had taken earlier.

Those lips then would travel up to the shadow king's earlobe, catching it between his teeth, tugging gently, while fingers traced nose, eyebrows, lips, sliding the glasses off his face… and if Kyouya had not objected up to now, Kaoru knew he was allowed to go further. Raising to his feet, he quickly circled the couch and boldly took the laptop from the older one's unresisting hands, carefully placing it on the table together with the glasses, before unceremoniously sliding into the other boy's lap, straddling his hips with his knees, and resuming his pleasurable torture, the soft dance of lips on ears, collarbone and throat, kissing, nipping, sometimes even suckling slightly, never strong enough to leave a mark. At that point, Kyouya knew he had lost.

- - -

They made sure it only happened during school time, so that someone or something would definitely turn up before things went too far. It was all perfectly planned, balanced, scheduled. Up to now, that was.

Sometimes, Kyouya's arms would then come up around Kaoru's waist, bringing the boy a bit closer, tilting his head ever so slightly to grant the younger one more access, which was accepted eagerly, the redhead pressing hot, open-mouthed kisses to the other's neck, trailing fire that spread into his veins, consuming all reason, going directly to where the need was centred.

If, to that point, none had interrupted them, Kaoru would allow his lips to travel higher, over chin, cheekbones, eyebrows, forehead, his breath tickling the shadow king's skin, making it tingle until the older one was all but struggling to keep the appreciating hum locked in his throat.

And usually it was then that Kyouya finally lost his self-imposed reservation, slightly opening his lips, searching, trying to capture that maddening mouth that just kept shying away from him, pressing unbearably soft kisses everywhere but where it was needed…

Kyouya moved one hand up to grab Kaoru's nape, the other bringing their bodies even closer, and then it was all moist lips locking, hot tongues intertwining as deeply as possible, needing more closeness, more touch, loosing all sense of reality in that kiss, feeling the younger one's fingers entangle with his hair, pushing even closer into the longed-for, much-needed contact, pressing their bodies together tightly until they both could feel the other's warmth, passion and need quite acutely.

Most of the times, there'd be the alarming sounds of steps in the corridor before the third music room's door, making them snap out of it and keeping Kaoru from leaning against Kyouya, making him lay back on the couch.

But sometimes, there wouldn't, and Kyouya would find himself on his back, one leg still on the couch, the other one on the floor, and Kaoru resting comfortably between them, making their bodies touch in the most beautiful ways, both breathing heavily. It then happened that Kaoru, while still continuing their kiss, didn't keep his hands in check anymore, letting them wander down Kyouya's sides, caressing chest, ribs, hips and legs through fabric that suddenly seemed far too thick, too much of an obstacle, robbing the older boy of his last shreds of self-control and dignity, making him sent his fingers down as well, following similar paths, then sliding carefully beneath Kaoru's shirt, over his back, feeling the younger one's breath hitch at the electrifying contact of pure skin on skin…

- -

They made sure it only happened during school time. And yet it was getting harder and harder to stop.

Up to that point, the heat had grown to an almost unbearable measure, their need was almost painful, and as he felt Kaoru press their hips even closer together, Kyouya so badly wanted to break the kiss, press his lips to Kaoru's throat, forcing a stifled moan from the other's mouth as he started suckling feverishly, marring the pure skin with his teeth, soothing the mark with his tongue, he wanted to tear open the other's shirt to feel more skin, more heat, he so badly wanted for their hands to go further, lower, deeper…

Too far gone by now to care where they were, he pushed his hips up to meet the heat of Kaoru's body, his fingers straying to the buttons of the younger one's shirt…

…and only now did the sound of steps and voices right before the door make both of them freeze for a split-second, before Kaoru jumped to his feed, straightening his hair and uniform, while Kyouya did the same and put on his glasses again, as an addition.

Their routine in this had become so perfect, it took them mere moments to regain a normal breathing pattern, to find something to occupy themselves with and pretend as if nothing had happened, and the moment the other host club members opened the door, both were perfectly calm, presentable and busy with either reading or typing something.

The other Host Club members – Hunny offering Tamaki some cake to console the grief-stricken prince and father of Haruhi, who in turn was half-heartedly trying to escape Hikaru's antics – didn't notice anything out of ordinary. Mori was the only one giving Kyouya an examining look, but kept silent anyway.

Tamaki soon recovered, though, chatting about costumes and settings for today, presenting the latest collection of mind-numbingly colourful, sickeningly otaku-friendly outfits, and Kyouya watched how effortlessly the twins slipped back into their roles, their brotherly love act.

Yet at the same time he kept seeing Kaoru, flushed and panting, eyes dark with desire, the brief instant of utter disappointment he'd read in the younger boy's eyes the moment they'd been interrupted, kept feeling the burning need, the taste of the kisses, the scorching touches that were still having an effect on his body he was having trouble suppressing... and he hated it.

He hated that someone was having this kind of power over him, that he had lost control over himself, repeatedly so, and most of all, he hated how much he wanted to continue what they had been doing.

He was the one planning, controlling, manipulating! He was pulling the strings from behind the scenes… so was Kaoru, a voice in the back of his mind reminded him, he was just as much of a mastermind as Kyouya. No, it was Kyouya who truly controlled the Host Club and everything related to it! That boy couldn't possibly have any power over him!

And while Kyouya went politely through his host routine, his agile mind was whirling, processing information, finding and asking questions.

This had been going on for quite some time by now, gradually growing longer and more intense, and they never talked about it.

The question was…. Why? What merits did he get out of this? Aside from the obvious, of course.

Kaoru simply needed body contact, warmth, something he'd grown used to over the years with his brother. Now he was denied all of that, and it hurt him more than the younger Hitachiin twin would ever admit, wouldn't admit because his brother's well-being, his happiness, was far more important to him.

Kyouya… why Kyouya submitted to something like that, why he not only allowed the younger boy's touches and caresses, but invited them in, even reciprocating them, he didn't know himself. Maybe he knew that it was because of Tamaki, that the loneliness he'd always felt was much more unbearable, now that his best and only friend was more or less ignoring him for the sake of a girl. Maybe he knew and denied it, maybe he just didn't want to see the reason… whatever it was, Kyouya couldn't explain his actions, not even to himself. That was definitely a first, and that's why he hated this whole situation even more.

But he knew that it was out of sheer luck that someone had always interrupted them until now, that one day, there wouldn't, and they both longed for and dreaded that day in equal measure.

And Kyouya knew exactly that while gentle, gradual seduction might be his undoing – an undoing Kaoru had learned to perfectly exploit – Kaoru had one as well. He knew that, should he decide to take control one day, he would succeed, as Kaoru, for all his bravery and skilful teasing, would never take the last step.

That's right. He lost control because he allowed it, for no other reason. Wasn't that the story of his life? Seemingly following along the lines others defined for him, he still knew exactly where and how to strike, and one day, he would.

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Hope you had as much fun reading as I had writing it :)

And now… leave me a review, please. You know you want to!

Best wishes, Skychild