Edited on 27/04/10

Warning: Alternate Universe, SasuHina, hints at yaoi in future chapters, out of character Hiashi Hyuga, a dysfunctional Uchiha Clan and…poor Hanabi wants to join a convent.

Inspired by: eiko-chan's fan art on deviantArt named I'm sorry Naruto.

A/N: Erm. The fan art is obviously interpreted as NaruHina but me being a fan girl of Crack…I just couldn't tame the inner beast within me and so when writing this I got a little carried away.

Was supposed to be a one-shot but I got even more insane ideas and created an AU specifically for the crazy plots I concocted.

Future chapters will be linked somehow.

Wrote these drabbles in 2007. It's 2010 and I realize…I really sucked at writing. Still do. 8D


Special Effects

Uchiha Sasuke could not help the shiver of disgust rippling through his spine. The six year old cherub tugged at his kaa-san's sleeve fiercely and the Uchiha matriarch crouched down.

"Okaa-san do I have to wear that?" he whispered eyeing the costume clutched in his mother's hand with abhorrence.

Chuckling softly Uchiha Mikoto raised the green, scaled outfit in her hands and tilted her head as she inspected the costume with a much exaggerated look of contemplation on her face to be serious.

Nodding her head finally, she looked at her baby and smiled. "Hai, Sasu-chan."

Sasu-chan scowled, or at least attempted to. His efforts in imitating Itachi's trademark look of displeasure resorted in his pink lips pouting and rosy cheeks puffing…Mikoto had to bite back her grin at the adorable picture her son presented when he made that look.

"I don't want to!" he proclaimed, lower lip trembling a bit.

Smiling, she ruffled his spiky raven locks as she stood and wondered just how she was to get him into the outfit for the rehearsal soon. As her eyes rambled throughout the auditorium, she spotted a stone faced Hyuga Hiashi standing on the other side of the room with an already dressed little girl, most likely his eldest she presumed, clutching the fabric of her otou-san's yukata tightly.

The Hyuga Head really looked awkward with his daughter clinging to him like that. Mikoto was almost tempted to take a picture to show to Fugaku after. Her husband would no doubt torment his rival over it…

Noting the lavender coloured dress and the crown on her head, she realized that the heiress had been cast as the princess. She was cute, Mikoto mused, before glancing down to look at her suspiciously silent son to see him staring at the girl with a light flush across his cheeks.

It was as though a light bulb had flickered above her head and she smirked, mind working furiously. "Sasu-chan," she said in a sing-song voice crouching low again.

Sasuke averted his gaze towards his mother and took a step back at the gleeful look his kaa-san was sporting. "Hai?"

"You like Hinata-chan, don't you?" she whispered secretively glancing to her right and then her left making a show to her naïve son that she didn't want anyone to hear.

"W-what?! Iie!" little Sasuke denied furiously putting up his hands in a defensive position though his cherry face was all the encouragement his mother needed to press onwards.

"Do you know that the role you've been given is to protect Hinata-chan?" she asked innocently watching her baby boy's eyes widen. "You have to protect her from the big bad prince. You do want to protect her, don't you?"

Forgetting the fact that he denied that he liked Hinata just a second ago, he nodded his head - chest puffing out in a manly display of strength when he said, "Hai, I want to protect Hinata-chan!"

Covering her laugh with a cough his mother said, "Well you must wear your costume to protect Hinata-chan! Do you understand?"

At Sasuke's nod, she grabbed his hand and pulled him along towards an available changing stall for him to get into his green outfit with a triumphant grin.

Sasuke eyed the blond standing in front of him dressed in clothes meant only for a Prince and he was holding a shield and a sword. Eyes twitching, he tugged at the collar of his costume, feeling warm and uncomfortable with all the stares he was receiving.

"Look at the Uchiha boy…isn't he adorable?"

Flushing, he shuffled his feet on the spot hating himself for letting his mother trick him into wearing this horrid costume. It didn't help that almost everyone was cooing over him and he wondered if they were blind.

Did they NOT see that if something had a tail, was green and scaly then it was ugly and ferocious?!

He wasn't supposed to be adorable!

But…how was he ever going to get Hinata-chan to like him if he was a green, scaly lizard with wings and a tail? Not to mention he had cones sticking out from his head that was supposed to be his ears…

Damn his mother.

Groaning to himself at the thought of Hinata never liking him now with what he was wearing, he focused his attention back to the blue-eyed Prince before him, catching the last part of what he was saying.

"…now move you beast, for I Hokage Naruto shall kill you if you stay in my way, believe it!"

Iruka-sensei groaned loudly.

"NARUTO! How many times do I have to tell you to stop changing and adding lines! It's "I shall slay thee dragon to rescue my beloved!""

The blonde boy just shrugged, sticking his tongue out in defiance and Iruka held back a scream.

Sasuke opened his mouth to utter his line and said in a bored tone:


Everyone blinked and crickets chirped.

Iruka, however, closed his gaping mouth and decided then and there he was going to kill himself. Did these children not understand what acting meant at all? You had to act with passion and determination, something these six and seven year olds weren't doing. He had slaved day and night to write the script, to prepare the costumes and the set designs!

And these ungrateful little brats were ruining his masterpiece!

"MY YOUTHFUL FRIEND!" screamed the green spandex clothed P.E. teacher, appearing out of thin air and Iruka and every other occupant in the auditorium jumped in fright.


Calmly Iruka bonked his clipboard hard on the head of said spandex clad teacher and watched with disinterest as Gai fell onto the floor unconscious. Turning his attention back to the children on the stage he said, "I have to agree with Gai-sensei Sasuke-kun, you can't just say 'Roar' like that. You're a dragon; you have to say it in the scariest and loudest way possible, okay?"

Sasuke nodded his little head and looked back at Naruto. Suddenly his mother's voice echoed in his head.

"You have to protect her from the big bad prince. You do want to protect her, don't you?"

Was Naruto the bad Prince? Looking at him Sasuke thought, Yeah.

So he had to protect his Hinata-chan from this Prince and if that meant scaring the shit (he heard Itachi say it!) out of him then he was going to do so. Setting his face into a determined scowl he edged himself a little to the left so he would be directly in front of the tower that his princess was in.

This Naruto wasn't going to harm his Princess!

Opening his mouth, something came to mind and he grinned a bit – hands flying to perform the correct hand signals.


A burst of fire erupted from his mouth, aimed directly at poor Naruto. Quickly shielding himself with the flimsy paper shield, Naruto let out a surprised yelp and jumped back at his shield burst into flames.

Sasuke smirked, pleased with himself before letting out another roar that had Naruto falling on his butt and scrambling back. "Sasuke!" said his mother sharply from her seat next to Hiashi Hyuga and he turned his eyes towards with an innocent look.


"Why did you do that?" she demanded watching her son in confusion, for she knew her husband never taught him the jutsu (maybe it was Itachi?).

"I'm a fire breathing dragon protecting the Princess," Sasuke deadpanned.

"Ooh…special effects! This is way better than what I thought of! Fabulous, the play would be a success!" Iruka said, giggling to himself as he jotted all this down on his clipboard completely ignoring the glare directed to him from Mikoto.

"Well," she muttered to herself, "if Sasuke is this gullible at this age then it wouldn't be too hard to manipulate him into marrying Hinata-chan when he's older…"

Hiashi blinked and eyed the Uchiha woman next to him with suspicion. Did he hear what she had just said right?

"…ooh yes, I can see my future grandchildren! Now the only thing I have to worry about is getting Itachi hooked up…"

Turning to Hiashi she smiled sweetly at him. "You approve of a marriage between my Sasuke and your Hinata, right?"

Hiashi blinked and before he could say 'Hell no' she continued on happily, "Great! A marriage between our two clans will surely produce the cutest babies! Just imagine, with Hinata-chan's cuteness and Sasuke's hair…"

Turning away from the Uchiha, Hiashi contemplated what he had just learned.

Mikoto Uchiha was crazy and how Fugaku survived all these years married to her he would never know.

Hinata stared at Sasuke in awe as he declared that he would forever protect her. Feeling herself blush when he blew her a kiss she decided that Uchiha Sasuke was nice.