I was trembling and dropped to my knees. I felt extremely weak, physically and mentally, although my thirst was heavily sated, and I could feel no ache in my throat.
Violent flashes of the recent past events rushed through my mind. The irresistible smell of human blood pulsating through electric veins, attacking everyone, being blindfolded and brutally chained…. How could they do that to me, treat me like a wild animal. They were supposed to be my family, not hurt me. I didn't think anything could hurt a vampire! Why was this kept from me! Anger pooled in my stomach like a raging river breaking through a dam. I felt betrayed.
I felt waves of calm flow through me. Jasper was trying to calm me down; I knew he could feel my rage.
"Don't Jasper" I growled glaring at him. He met my glare with a look that held pity and determination.
I did not want anyone's damn pity and it made me more furious. I wanted to know why I was chained up.
"Easy Bella," Carlisle was by my side with Emmett close behind. They thought I couldn't control myself now. He went to touch my back, and I instantly flinched away.
"Don't touch me." I whispered violently, but even as I spoke the words, I could feel the anger dissipating with Jaspers control. I was too weak to fight it.
"Why didn't anyone tell me about this?" I was hurt and embarrassed.
"I should have told you Bella. I didn't want to scare you. Calm your anger. You are so young and strong, and without controlling your power, we did not have a choice. Would you rather have lost control?" Carlisle was smooth and steady. He was trying to get through to me and I felt as if I was being scolded by my father.
"Bella, we had no choice." Alice had flittered to my side. "I saw you killing the humans, and we were not able to stop you. You would have hated yourself."
At that moment I knew I had no right to be mad and with Jasper controlling my emotions, it was hard to put up much of a fight.
As I looked into the eyes of my family, I only saw love and concern seeping through me. Not betrayal. I shook my head trying to control my anger and gain my senses.
Then I realized that I should be grateful - I was able to be controlled and I did not hurt anyone. Was this Jaspers doing, or was this my real feelings?
I met eyes with Carlisle for the first time, and I could not be angry any longer.
"I am so sorry!" I cried.
He leaned down next to me, gently rubbing my back, holding me as a father would a young child.
"Shhh…Bella….it's okay. We should have told you ahead of time about the titanium. It is our fault. I am sorry we scared you." Carlisle explained trying to calm my heaving body.
I looked down on the ground. I was ashamed at the accusations of distrust I had just thought about my family. They would never do anything to hurt me, I know that now.
I felt a cool finger gently lift my chin.
"There is no reason to be ashamed dear," Esme's voice was like a soothing blanket. "You were confused, scared and hurt; I would have felt the same way."
"Yea me too!" Rosalie snorted. I chuckled at that. Rosalie would have gone crazy!
I instantly felt the tension around me begin to lift.
Suddenly, someone was behind me, lifting me in their arms, and hugging me to their strong chest.
I knew it was Edward.
"I am so sorry!" He whispered in my ear and his voice was filled with agony.
I touched his cheek so he would know I did not blame him.
"I am okay. But, I feel really weak." My voice was still trembling.
"I know - that is normal. It is the effect of the chains. You will feel back to normal within the next couple of hours." Carlisle assured. "Let's get you home."
I could feel Edward's chest heaving as he was sobbing silently into my shoulder as he was carrying me and running towards the car. He was holding me tightly, and I knew he felt bad about what had happened. I vaguely remember him arguing with Carlisle about the chains, and I knew he was not happy about it.
My arms were wrapped tightly around his neck, and I reached up and gently kissed his neck. He looked down into my eyes at that moment with so much love that I thought my dead heart would start beating again.
When we got to the car, Edward looked at me with excitement in his eyes. Instead of getting into the back seat with me, he closed the door and I could see him talking with Carlisle. He spoke in French, and I had absolutely no idea what he was saying. I saw Carlisle laugh with a beaming grin and nod his head. Then he got into the car with me and Esme.
"What is Edwa…" Before I had a chance to ask, Edward swiftly opened my door.
"You go back to the house with Carlisle and Esme. I have an errand to run. I will be home in a few hours!" He sounded so excited, like a child on Christmas morning.
Before I could protest, he gave me a quick kiss and disappeared.
"Where is he going?" I demanded confused.
Carlisle chuckled softly and told me not to worry. That is was a surprise.
"I hate surprises." I grumbled softly.
Esme laughed openly, looked back at me putting her hand on my knee and said, "Surprises are what bring romance to our existence Bella. Enjoy them!"
I couldn't help but smile back at Esme's warm expression.
The drive back seemed to take forever. I couldn't wait to get back to the house so I could bombard Alice with questions, knowing she would have seen a vision of Edward's surprise. But, I noticed Carlisle driving slower than usual, and I had an uneasy feeling he wanted to talk about what had happened this afternoon.
"Bella, we need to talk." Although it was a statement, Carlisle was asking for my permission.
I met his intense gaze in the review mirror and nodded for him to proceed.
"Can you recall the way you reacted when smelling the humans?" His voice held a gentle caution.
"Yes." I spoke grimly. "The pain to feed was overwhelming. I could not control myself. The pulsing blood was entrancing me like nothing I have ever felt."
"Understand that it won't always be like that Bella. You are so extremely young. The pull is much stronger when you are first turned."
"Good." Relief was thick in my voice.
"Bella, I want to warn you ahead of time that the next few days are going to be difficult. We need to start helping you gain control of your power."
I looked down at my knees, embarrassed and full of anxiety.
I saw Esme grab Carlisle's hand and from the corner of my eye I saw her give him an intense glare as if to say, now is not the time.
"Uh… well…. we can discuss this later." Carlisle stammered.
I smirked to myself still looking down. I had never seen Carlisle lose his composure, and I guess it would make sense that Esme would have that power over him.
"You have been through a lot today. I know Edward has something real special planned for the two of you. You just enjoy that tonight, honey." Esme looked back at me as she spoke and placed her hand on my knee.
As I looked up, I noticed that we were already to the house. I couldn't wait to get inside and hound Alice.