Ring ring ring ring ring ring. Dammit, the phone just wouldn't shut up! Seventeen year old Kyle Broflovski had two more pages to type on his English paper and it seemed like Yahweh just wasn't going to let him finish it. Fine, he could play His little games… He casually strode over to the phone and picked up the g'damn thing.

"Hello," he droned into the phone.

"Dude! Can I come over? I need to talk to you!"


"I thought you were out with Wendy tonight even though you are supposed to write your paper…" Kyle couldn't help the irritated tone in his voice. Stan had turned down his invitation to come over and work on papers together so he could go out with Wendy…again. Stan hadn't even started his paper.

"I know dude but that's what I wanna talk about! Can I still come over?"

Kyle looked at his clock and almost flipped, "Dude, it's two in the fucking morning!" Had that much time gone by?

Silence overcame the line until Kyle sighed his agreement.

"Sweet dude! I'll be over in like two minutes!"

Kyle dejectedly hung up the phone. Why did he always let Stan walk all over him? He hurriedly threw his old green hat on to hide his Jew-fro and decided to at least pretend to go back to writing his paper to try to inspire remorse in his best friend. He also didn't want to seem over eager to hear Stan's news; the guy had ditched him for a girl!

Sure enough, just a couple minutes later the blue eyed, raven haired teen came slinking into his friend's room. Kyle had long ago given him a key to the house, just for in case…

"Ok ok ok ok…you aren't gonna believe this!"

Kyle just gave him the cut-the-shit-and-get-on-with-it look.

"I…I lost it!"


"Dude, I fucking lost it!"

Kyle just gave him a perplexed look, "What the hell are you talking about? Are you drunk? Do you need me to find something for you?"

Stan let a little frustration show, "No! I mean I fucked Wendy, the hottest girl in school, dumb-ass!"

The only reaction he received was an icy glare. Why was Kyle being such a douche? This was like the biggest deal ever! When his friend did speak, Marsh wished he would have just gotten the glare, "You fucking interrupted my paper for that? Dude, go the fuck home. I don't care." He might as well have been slapped in the face.

"Fine asshole. I thought you'd be happy for me, being my best friend and all, but I guess I was wrong…"

"Go home please."

With that, Stan gathered his shattered pride and left. Kyle sat at his desk for at least another hour fuming. Traitor. He and Stan were supposed to be friends, why would he do that to him? When he finally turned out the lights, with the paper still lacking two pages, he tossed and turned until he fell into fitful nightmares of his friend and the slut.

Stan parked his car by Kyle's house and waited on him like usual the next morning. Things had gone wrong last night. His friend was probably just sore that he ditched homework for Wendy. Kyle was his best friend in the whole world. He loved Kyle. But damn he was a nerd! It took a while before he noticed that Kyle hadn't come out yet. Kyle was the early bird, the one that was always out waiting, ready for a new gripe about why was Stan always late to pick him up. He parked the car and went in.

"Good morning Mrs. Broflovski, is Kyle sick today?" Stan asked as politely as he could.

"No Stan, he got up earlier than normal this morning and went to school. Said something about something he needed to do early…" Sheila informed as she slid a waffle in front of Ike. He didn't noticed but stayed plastered onto the morning news.

"Fuck, he is mad at me…"Stan murmured and ran out the door before Sheila could ask him what he said.

"Dude, where the fuck have you been? I have been looking for you all day!" Stan yelled when he finally spied a scarlet ball of hair bobbling in the lunch crowd just a few feet away from him. It was no surprise that a ratty orange hoodie bounced next to it.

Kyle's emerald eyes turned and caught Stan's azure ones on instinct but coldly turned away again upon recognition. He disappeared into the food hall.

It was after he was done eating before he could catch up with Kyle, quite on accident. He found him washing his hands in the boy's bathroom. "Dude, what's up your ass today?" the teen athlete began before his nerdy friend had time to get to the door. Finally, Kyle turned and confronted him.

"You, asshole! You sold me out! Your best friend!" The Jew's face was red with emotion. Stan just gaped at him.

"How did I sell you out? I slept with my girlfriend! You don't like her and never have as far as I know…" Then it hit him. "You like Wendy! Dude, I wouldn't have done it if I had known, I swear!" he confessed truthfully. Bros before hoes was definitely his motto…more like bro before hoes.

"No, idiot, you know I hate Wendy! It's you! I thought you'd….." the red head stammered and broke off, looking at the ground.

"Look, just tell me cause I'm only getting pissed off here," Stan twitched. Fuck, he friend was acting weird.

Finally they met eyes. "Come over after school today and I will talk to you…It's kinda embarrassing here…" Kyle stammered, and then left the desolate bathroom to Stan.