Ranma of the Black

Ranma learned magic and had a really weird childhood.

I don't own Ranma or 8-bit theater or final fantasy.

Chapter one

The returning mage

---Nerima/ten years later---

Akane Tendo was once again fighting a horde of idiots as a new student came in. He was about five foot three with cold blue eyes that made ice look warm. He was wearing black boots with black pants, black shirt that said "I'll doom you all" and a coat over it with silver clasp, but the collar was up and closed, hiding his face. He also had on a hat that covered the rest of his head.

Now Akane, being Akane saw only one thing about the new guy. 'Pervert! I'll kill him.' though Akane, charging him. When he noticed her charging him, he grabbed the closest person to him and threw him at her. "Pervert-doken!" yelled the man, as the person he threw, hit Akane head first. When Akane got up from that, the person that she was charging was shaking his finger at her as if to say 'Bring it!'

With that Akane charged, when some guy with red hair and in matching red armor and broadsword stepped in her path. "There you are, Ranma! I though of something really cool." said the man in red. "Kenshin, if it has to do with swords, I'll stab you…in the back." replied Ranma, pulling out a dagger. "It doesn't." replied Kenshin, backing away. "Fine, what is it?" asked Ranma, lower in the dagger. "Sword-chucks! It's a cross of Swords and num-chucks." said Kenshin, really happy. "That's great, Kenshin, can you do me a favor?" asked Ranma, with a glint in his eye. "Sure!" replied Kenshin, turning around. "Thanks!" said Ranma, as he drove the dagger into Kenshin's spine making him drop dead.

"Now, I can die happy." said Ranma, as he walked away. A few seconds later Kenshin stood up and pulled the dagger out. "The Hell….!" said Ranma, getting a tear in his eye. By this time, every one was stunned by these two. "Here's your dagger Ranma, somehow you left it in my back." replied Kenshin. "Now you see, the cool thing about the sword-chucks is, they are both sword and num-chucks." said Kenshin, pulling out a sheet of paper. As Kenshin was talking, Ranma was thinking of cartoon math. This means a chibi of Kenshin + Hadoken a happy chibi Ranma.

"Kenshin, we're going to play the quiet game. That mean's if you say anything, I stab you!" said Ranma, charging up his Hadoken. "….." was all that came from Kenshin.

"Hold, foul sorcerer! I, of the noble house of Kuno, shall smite you!" yelled Kuno, charging at Ranma. "Eat eclectic death, fool!" yelled Ranma, shooting a lightning bolt at Kuno. Let's do the math, shall we? Kuno + Lightning bolt Kuno, on the ground, doing an impression of Kentucky fried chicken. At this everyone is stunned and afraid. "Come Kenshin, or its stab time." said Ranma, going into the building.

---Five minutes later in homeroom---

"Class, we have four new students joining us today. Please introduce yourselves." said the teacher. "Hi, I'm Ranma Mage." replied Ranma, standing next to three others. "Hello, I'm Rufus Magia." said the next boy. He was about Ranma's height with white hair and black eyes. He was wearing red boots, pants, shirt and a red hat with a white feather in it. "I'm Ereptor Oro." replied the next boy. He had blue hair and eyes with pointy ears. He was wearing all brown cloths and a small pouch on his hip. "Hi, I'm Kenshin Fighter!" yelled Kenshin, when a dagger entered his back. "You lose." said Ranma, pulling his dagger out and putting it away.

The other two were looking at Ranma with a deadpan look. "What? You were thinking of doing it too!" said Ranma, as Kenshin got up. "Can you please stop trying to kill Kenshin?" asked Ereptor, as they all took a seat. "I've figured out how to use sword-chuckery!" said Kenshin, as a sword and two daggers found themselves in his back. "Is there any way to really shut him up?" asked Rufus. "If you need to ask why my knife is in your back, then you haven't been paying attention." said Ranma, pulling out his dagger.

A little while after that, Kenshin was doing fine and the group was eating lunch. "I still don't see why you allow him to breath." said Rufus. "Well, it all comes down to this. Hey, Kenshin, there's a giant grasshopper on your head." said Ranma, as Kenshin flipped out. "AHHHHHH! IT'S IN MY HAIR. IT'S IN MY HAAAAIIIIIIR! RUN FOR THE HILLS! WE'LL NEVER ESCAPE THE WRATH OF THE GIANT INVISIBLE GRASSHOPPER!" yelled Kenshin, as he ran around trying to get rid of the "grasshopper". After a few minutes of this, they had enough. "Is there an off switch for him?" asked Rufus. "Well, I could stab him in the back and make an off switch." replied Ereptor, pulling out his dagger. "Your ideas intrigue me and I wish to learn more." said Ranma, looking at Ereptor. Then Kenshin just collapsed.

---Other side of the school---

"How do those four think they are? I'm the best here and they just shrug me off." said Akane, going up to Nabiki. "Hey, Nabiki, there are some new guys and they look rich." said Akane, getting Nabiki's interest. "I'll see what I can do." said Nabiki, getting yen signs in her eyes.

End of chapter: ….And the moral of today's story is… Don't take live too seriously. It isn't permanent. Well, that's me Je Ne. Tenkai of chaos!