Rated: K+

Summary: Hyoutei tennis club members have been…failing therefore they need a study session in the library…disaster awaits… especially ones including fairytales and psychology

Category: humour/ general

Pairings: Implied atoji, dirty and silver

Disclaimer: I do not own PoT…I wish I did though

Excuse language errors, I had French last semester…


Semi-sequal to my first Hyoutei story…kinda…not really.

Hyotei Phobias


The regulars of Hyoutei were spending the remainder of their lunch period in the library, catching up on some schoolwork. Why was the whole team in the library? Well, aham, er… according to Mukahi, the Hyoutei team was like a great big family, a great big abusive and dysfunctional family but a family nonetheless and families stick together...especially when one member is failing psychology with a 19 percent (-cough-). At least that was his excuse to get Oshitari to do his homework. But who really believes what Mukahi says anyways?

"Ne Yuushi, I don't get it!" Mukahi asked loudly.

"Shhh!" The nosy librarian hushed the redhead.

"What don't you get?" Oshitari asked, exasperated.

"Everything!"

"This is simple, you just carry the x to the lw and then multiply the whole thing by t and …"

"I still don't get it!"

"Gakuto, you are going to fail," Atobe stated.

"Not everyone have private tutors from Tokyo U like you."

"Ore-sama does not need tutors!" Atobe declared.

"Right…" The whole team had another one of their now famous coughing fits.

"Atobe!!!" Jirou skipped merrily to Atobe. "What does this French phrase mean?"

"Marie et Lucille seront très… ?"

"Yeah, what does it mean?"

"Marie and Lucille are …it's future tense…" Atobe looked up, "Jirou! WAKE UP!"

"Huh…?"

"If you're going to ask ore-sama to help you, then don't fall asleep." Atobe said.

"But don't explain things to me when I'm asleep!"

"Argh…Ore-sama is giving up on you guys!" Atobe smacked Jirou on the head.

"Ow…" Jirou sat back down and fell asleep on his books.

Atobe went back to doing his own homework, muttering something about narcoleptics and paying attention. Oshitari and Gakuto exchanged a glance and sniggered. Shishido and Ohtori exchanged a knowing glace and Hiyoshi rolled his eyes.

"Gakuto, stop figiting and do your work, you're failing!" Oshitari said when Mukahi started doodling.

"How are you failing with a 19?" Shishido demanded.

"It's not like it's my fault, I was passing with a 56 until that last unit test!"

"Seriously, Gakuto, you know that if you flunk a class you get kicked off the team right?" Atobe raised an eyebrow.

"REALLY?" A chain of offensive words slipped out of Mukahi's mouth, the librarian glared.

"You…didn't…know?" Ohtori asked.

"NO! Yuushi, do my homework for me!"

"I don't take psychology remember?"

"But you're a genius! And you know how to mentally torture people, and you know how to manipulate people! That's psychology."

"Now I see why you're failing." Shishido snorted.

"I'm going to take that as a compliment, Gakuto," Oshitari went back to his calculus homework.

"Yuushi! But don't you want me as a doubles partner anymore?"

"Erm…" Oshitari sweatdropped.

"Is it just me or is Mukahi-senpai behaving more like a girl everyday?" Ohtori commented.

"WHAT?!" Mukahi turned to Ohtori with his snarky bitchy face.

"Now that you mention it…" Shishido considered.

"Hmm, that is true." Atobe smirked. "Ne, Kabaji?"

"Usu."

"Hey! That is a lie!"

"Actually it's the truth." Shishido played with his pen.

"Is NOT!" Mukahi turned to his doubles partner. "Defend me here, Yuushi."

"You can't ask me to defend you for everything, Gakuto, besides, you are like a girl, a cute one at that." Oshitari grinned sadistically.

"I AM NOT LIKE A GIRL!" Mukahi screamed.

"QUIET OVER THERE!" The librarian screamed back.

"Yes, Gakuto, quiet!" Atobe sneered.

"Shut up!"

The library slipped under some time of blissful silence until a very frustrated Ohtori started pacing around the table, muttering to himself uncharacteristically.

"Chotarou, is something wrong?" Shishido asked.

"I can't seem to think of anything for this lit assignment."

"What is it?"

"Well I'm on the Fairy Tales and Mythology Unit…"

"Hmm, I loved that Unit!" Mukaihi grinned, "Remember Yuushi?"

"Ahh, those were the days, remember, the fights? The chaos, the havoc?"

"Yep…" And the famous Hyoutei dirty pair got lost in reminiscence.

"Um…" Ohtori and Hiyoshi gave Atobe and Shishido a questioning glance.

"Don't ask…just don't." Shishido muttered, "All I'm saying is I'm glad I wasn't in their class, I think the sensei is still in the Mental Institute."

"Ouch…"

"Meh… we weren't that bad," Mukahi and Oshitari slipped out of their reverie. "The teacher was over-sensitive."

"Excuse me, you call the parents BEGGING the teachers to not put you two in the same class again not THAT bad?" Shishido asked.

"And we're not sure how many people went to the temple to pray that their children don't get into the same class as you guys." Atobe rolled his eyes.

"What DID they do?" Hiyoshi asked, interested.

"We're not telling…bad memories." Shishido shook his head as if to clear his head.

"Hmmm…."

"Um, Shishido-san, can you help me….?" Ohtori asked nervously.

"Oh, yeah, um, what is your assignment on?"

"Fairytales and Mythology, we're supposed to relate Mythologies and Fairytales to real life… like for example…um…Sleeping Beauty."

"Oh, that's easy… Sleeping Beauty is Jirou…" Mukahi said.

"Then who's the prince…ahhh?" Atobe asked.

"Um…"

"Atobe." Shishido said without hesitation. "And Kabaji is the prince's …minion?"

"Are you trying to piss ore-sama off, hmmm?" Atobe asked.

"Only statin' the truth." Shishido shrugged.

"Ahh…" Ohtori looked from Atobe to Shishido.

"Gakuto is the evil fairy." Oshitari pointed out.

"And what are you!?" Mukahi demanded, flushing.

"Why the King of course." Oshitari grinned.

"Then Mukahi must be the Queen, ne Kabaji?"

"Usu."

"What, where did that come from?!?!?!?!" Mukahi demanded.

"It's only logical." Shishido said.

"Then you're the good fairy!"

"No that's Chotarou." Atobe corrected.

"Hiyoshi can be the evil fairy too…" Ohtori suggested, Hiyoshi scowled.

"And Gakuto is my queen!" Oshitari smirked.

"Then what's Shishido?" Oshitari asked.

"Uhhh…………the narrator?" Mukahi suggested.

"That's not a character." Atobe said.

"It could be." Mukahi argued

"Should I…erm…write that down?" Ohtori asked.

"NO!" Mukahi grasped

"Yes!" Oshitari grinned.

"NO!"

"Yes!" Shishido smirked.

"NO!" Mukahi was out numbered…again.

"YES!"

"Shut up or you're all banned from the library!" The librarian barked.

"Okay, NEXT!"

"Cinderella." Ohtori looked back onto his sheet.

"Simple, Choutaro is the Cinderella."

"Then who's prince charming?"

"Shishido…?" Mukahi suggested.

"Prince Charming…yeah right, you have to be charming to be Prince Charming!" Atobe said, flipping his hair.

"Shut up!"

"Well it only fits right? Chotarou and Shishido living happily ever after." Mukahi said.

"W-what?" Shishido glared at Mukahi while Ohtori blushed.

"Who's Mukahi-senpai then?" Ohtori asked.

"He's the evil step-sister of course." Oshitari stated the obvious.

"Hey! I should be…like the king or something this time!"

"Excuse me, Ore-sama is the king, ne Kabaji?"

"Usu."

"No, 'ore-sama' is the evil step-mother." Shishido growled.

"Are you asking to get kicked off the team, ahhh?" Atobe asked.

"That's abusing captain privileges, Keigo." Oshitari said.

"Sakaki-sensei won't object, Ore-sama thinks that Taki will make a better addition."

"Ouch…burn…"

"CAN WE PLEASE GET BACK ON TOPIC?"

"Oh, right, hm, well Yuushi is the sadistic step-sister for sure."

"…I'm not objecting." Oshitari said.

"Hiyoshi is the fairy godmother!" Mukahi declared.

"Uhh...no." The mushroom headed second year glared at his senpai.

"But it fits you, besides you wouldn't want to be the carriage driver right?" Oshitari reasoned

Hiyoshi muttered something about better a rat than a godmother and turned back to his homework.

"Hm, what about Jirou?" Mukahi asked.

"Umm," The team racked their brains.

"Who else is in Cinderella?"

"Uhh…the carriage driver?"

"Um…sure? Can Jirou drive a carriage…?"

"Sure…" The regulars looked at each other and decided to work a little more, after all, it was just a matter of time before they got banned from the library …again.

"What about Greek Myths?" Atobe asked suddenly.

"What about them?"

"Do you need to do them for your assignment?"

"I guess…" Ohtori smiled.

"Greek Myths are more interesting than fairytales, ne Kabaji?"

"Usu."

"Well, I can relate Atobe to one character in a Greek Myth." Oshitari said slowly.

"Apollo."

"Narcissus."

Those two names were said at the same time, Apollo by Atobe and Narcissus by Oshitari and Mukahi.

"What do you mean Narcissus? Ore-sama is not narcissistic."

Another round of coughing by all the members of Hyoutei.

"You guys are grating on ore-sama's nerves…"

"You're not Apollo Atobe." Oshitari said.

"…I suppose you are?"

"Well, I'm more like…Hermes…" Oshitari considered for a moment.

"I wanted to be Hermes!" Mukahi protested.

"You're more like…one of the Harpies." Oshitari grinned.

"How?" Mukahi asked, raising an eyebrow.

"Bird-women…" Oshitari sat back, as if that explanation was enough, but then added, "But you're much better looking, don't worry."

"How come you're a god and I'm a bird-woman?!?!" Mukahi glared at his doubles partner with a glare that even the most stoic people would've flinched, but Oshitari is not stoic…much and 'sides if you were with Mukahi that much, you kinda had an immunity to those glares

"Because you remind me of one." Oshitari said and the other regulars burst out laughing, except for Hiyoshi who grinned and Jirou who was still asleep.

"Um, then who's Shishido-san?"

"Oh, him," Atobe smirked, "He must be Icarus, stupid little boy who flew too close to the sun and drowned, ne Kabaji?"

"Usu."

"Shut the fuck up!" Shishido fought the urge to strangle the life out of Atobe.

"Did ore-sama hit a sore spot, ahhh?" Atobe taunted.

"SHUT UP!"

"QUIET!" The librarian shouted and the regulars settled down again.

"Ohtori is Prometheus." Mukahi declared.

"The creator of mankind, the bringer of fire?" Shishido asked, having recovered somewhat from Atobe's mockery.

" Depends on how you look at it, really."

"Oh?" Atobe glanced at Mukahi.

"Really, he did had to suffer for all eternity with a eagle ripping out his liver everyday." Mukahi said.

"Is that an innuendo of some sort?" Shishido asked.

"What Gakuto is trying to say is that…" Oshitari interjected, "Prometheus is too nice for his own good… and…I'm guessing that he is insinuating that the eagle is us…right Gakuto?"

"Basically." Mukahi said.

"Wow, Mukahi-senpai…" Ohtori gasped, "That's a really good comparison."

"Yeah, Gakuto's single brain cell must be working hard." Shishido sniggered.

"SHUT UP!"

"Well, it is true right? People say that Chotarou is the only sane one here." Hiyoshi reasoned.

"What? WHO SAID THAT?" Mukahi demanded.

"QUIET, OR IT'S A LIFE LONG BAN!"

"The other tennis teams…" Hiyoshi said going back to his work.

"Stupid…" Mukahi mumbled curses under his breath along with some things like Rikkaidai, Seigaku and basically every school in the Kantou region.

"If we eat his liver everyday, he's bound to go insane." Shishido said, ignoring Mukahi's ranting.

"But…" Ohtori blushed, "I don't mind the eagle…I mean…I don't mind hanging out with my senpai-tachi…"

"Isn't he sweet?" Oshitari reached up to pat Ohtori on the head, earning a deadly glare from Shishido.

"Kabaji is like… Hercules…" Mukahi tried to distract Oshitari from Ohtori…he was getting a bit jealous.

"Yeah, the strong hero…who wasn't very smart." Shishido said.

"That's you, ne Kabaji?"

"Usu."

"And now there's Jirou and …Hiyoshi."

"Hiyoshi is like, Ares." Mukahi mumbled.

"Ares, god of war…?" Oshitari raised an eyebrow.

"Yeah, he's like…a good fighter."

"Gekokujou…"

There was a moment of blissful silence…and then Jirou woke up.

"Oh yeah, who was Jirou?" Ohtori asked

"Uhh…." Shishido thought for a moment.

"Who was me??" Jirou asked, confused.

"Who are you in Greek Mythology." Atobe smiled at Jirou, earning sniggers around them, it was then when Atobe snapped.

"FOR THE LAST TIME, ORE-SAMA IS NOT TRYING TO MOLEST JIROU!"

"LANGUAGE YOUNG MAN!" The librarian looked ready to bite Atobe's head off. "ALL OF YOU ARE BANNED FROM THIS LIBRARY FOR A WEEK!"

"Nice going Atobe." Mukahi glared.

"Are you asking to die, ahh?"

"…Atobe, this is the fifth time this year we're banned, and it's June." Oshitari said.

"The first time was Gakuto giggling over some stupid book like a girl, the second time was Shishido and Gakuto getting into a fight, third time was Jirou snoring and last time was Gakuto jumping into a bookshelf and the bookshelf falling on that Freshman." Atobe said, "and none of them were my doing."

"Uh, you showed Gakuto the book, you provoked Shishido and blamed it on Gakuto and you pushed Gakuto." Oshitari stated.

"Are you contradicting Ore-sama, ahhh?"

"Of course not."

And what happened to Ohtori's project? Well, he got an A for humour and creativity…but the teacher asked him to never get help from his senpai-tachi again… and we never found out who Jirou was in Greek Mythology…or whether Mukahi actually passed... (Heres a hint, Oshitari is good at psychology)


Greek Myths Characters:

Apollo: beautiful god of music and the sun

Narcissus: beautiful boy who fell in love with his own reflection and wasted away staring at himself

Hermes: trickster god of messengers, thieves and travel

Harpies: as Oshitari so wonderfully put it 'bird-women'

Icarus: boy who escaped prison with his father on wax wings, but flew too close to the sun and the wax melted therefore feel into the sea and died…foolish boy

Prometheus: god who created mankind and gave them fire, the gods punished him for giving humans fire by chaining him to a mountain and having a eagle rip out his liver everyday

Hercules: strong son of Zeus who was all brawn and no brains

Ares: god of war


A/N: another failed attempt at humour, oh well…I wrote this in like two days so don't blame me, yes I really need a life. And im going to assume everyone knows the story of Cinderella and Sleeping Beauty cuz…yes…you should know it.

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