-1Yes, I could relate to her.
My dearest Bella. She looked so.. Fragile. She already was, of course, with her being human and we being vampires. But there was something else there; pain. But not ordinary pain. Like someone had died, like someone you saw to be infinitely more precious than yourself had left you forever. I had seen that same pain once before.
The pain of losing my new born son had driven me to jump off that cliff: I remembered everything leading up to that fateful moment. First was the incredulity, the shock that something could be there one moment and be gone the next. Then was the tearless grief: I felt as if I should be crying enough to fill the entire world, but I was unable to cry because of the shock. After came the numbness. It felt so good to not be able to feel, to be dragged under the surface of all conscience thoughts, to float aimlessly and totally unfeeling.
Gradually I accepted my son's death and I felt the relief of ending my own life. I was at peace. Of course, I was saved by Carlisle and Edward, but the point here is that I could see the pain in Bella's eyes. Her eyes. They should be full of spark and spunk, but instead they're…
Dead. Blank windows, dark mirrors, no reflection of happiness. I can also see the bruise-like quality of the shadows under her eyes. Are we at fault for her loosing so much sleep? She's lost weight, weight that she doesn't have to lose. And why? Because we left. Because, in Edward's gallant attempt to keep her safe, we all ended up hurting her more than any living soul has the right to.
I embraced me Bella in the airport, my youngest child. She was exhausted, and Edward wasn't going to release her hand anytime soon, that much I was sure of. As my son stepped back, I looked into the eyes of my two children, and what I saw saddened me deeply: they had the same deadened look, the same shadows, the same grief etched into their faces.
They say that the eyes are the window to the soul, and if it were possible, mine would be crying right now.
Author's Note: This is Esme's point of view and she is relating the pain that Bella went through with Edward leaving to the pain that she went through when she lost her own child. I tried to stay loyal to the book but I also used my own point of view, how I felt myself when my grandpa died last year and when my uncle died a month or so back. Please review (first fic).