Interviewing the Organization
I've always wanted to do something like this. Now don't think this fiction is doomed like my other ones. This is an interactive fiction; there's a very low chance that I'll leave it discontinued. Before anyone has any questions, I want to make some questions myself. Though, I won't be the one asking them…
Lance Soldier walks on screen with Lance following
"Hello everyone. I'm not sure any of you know me but I'm that one Heartless who's mostly to blame for all the stuff that happened to Sora on his adventures," he said.
"If you have no freakin' idea of what he's talking about then step on down to the author's profile to read his latest hit 'World Vacation!'" the lance said.
There was a silent moment that was nonchalantly broken as the Lance Soldier whacked his weapon friend upside the head.
"He said no advertisement, you idiot!" the Lance soldier said.
"Well, don't blame me that our story was pushed down into an ocean of fanfics! In less than two days, the damn story was at page 34 when I went to look for it!"
"That's because the Kingdom Hearts series is very popular. So popular, that any story of pitiful proportions was to be submitted on any fanfic site, the crowding literature of obsessive male pairings will suffocate the author's desire for attention and appreciation."
Somewhere in the background, someone stifled a sniff.
"I think you made him cry…" the Lance sniff said peeking in the back- GET AWAY FROM ME!
"Either way, it all depends on how much you update and who's interested. We only had, like, two reviews, but we'll be catching on in the future. …hopefully."
"I just hope we don't end up like those other fictions he hasn't updated."
Just then, some piano/guitar music played.
"…is this the 'Organization XIII' theme song?"
"On that note, the author managed to download the entire KH 2 soundtrack. We all know he's inspired by music to write these things."
"You mean…we're doing a fan fiction right now?" the lance asked, receiving a nod from the soldier, "for what?"
"Well, this is only a one-shot so we can't expect much."
"What kind of one-shot is this? I mean, we're series material, what could we possibly do on this one-shot that is so minimal or, god forbid, charitable that can't fit in 'World Vacation'?"
"This is an interview fic," Lance Soldier replied.
"Oh god…" the lance groaned as it used it's antennae to, seemingly, rub its temples.
"Hey, it ain't that bad."
"No, it's not that. I do wonder who we're interviewing."
"Uh, is this the part where I come in?" a man from the back asked.
"Yes it is."
From behind the set, Demyx walked in, wearing the Organization cloak, with sitar in hand.
"If this were a live audience, thank god it's not, the entire audience would scream in joy, resulting in the implosion of my ears," the lance said.
"We had to keep this thing secret. That's the very thing we wanted to prevent. As a member of the KH 2 cast, fans would go crazy if they wouldn't be able to by anymore, knowing that every ticket, that won't be, in existence has been bought."
"Wouldn't we need the money?"
"There are more fangirls than any number of tickets we could possibly print," Lance Soldier said, "fandom is a very dangerous thing when used elusively."
"Uh, am I just standing here or what?" Demyx asked.
"…oh, right. Sorry. Anyways, please have a seat," Lance Soldier beckoned as he showed Demyx the chair that was once nonexistent.
Demyx sat on the chair as he laid his sitar next to him as Lance Soldier sat as well, with the lance floating by his side.
"Okay, let's start the interview. First off, tell us a little about yourself."
"Okay. Well, I'm number 9 in the Organization, or rather, number IX."
"…you just said that."
"No, I said IX. 9 and IX both mean the same thing but in a different language."
"…right," the lance said, "well I've got a question that's been bugging me for a while."
"Hold on, I got a question for him too. Demyx, how old are you exactly?" Lance Soldier asked as he received a stern look from the lance.
"Well, before Roxas came, I was the youngest member of the Organization. Right now, I'm, like, 19 years old."
"Huh, that explains the guitar," Lance Soldier said, "as a teen you must be one of the angsty kind. Tell me; is it true that teens are hindered helpless after listening to Linkin Park?"
"…uh, first off, it's not a guitar, it's a sitar. Second, I can't be all teen without a heart. Trust me, I was a teen once, and it's all about heart. And thirdly…well, the funny thing is, I thought that rumor was true. Linkin Park does seem to hinder the emo's. I tried it on Zexion once, all he did was get angry and club me half to death with encyclopedias."
"Ouch," Lance Soldier said sympathetically.
"I learned two things that day: One – encyclopedias are heavy. Two – Zexion has a LOT of them."
"Now I have a question for him," the lance spoke, "Demyx, you know how the other members are leaders of certain Nobodies."
"Yeah, it was sort of an offering though. They'd ask us what we specialize in and they give us leadership rights to the Nobodies we could've been."
"Right. Well, that's where this question is coming from, two actually. How can you be the leader of the Dancers? Female Dancers on that note"
"Also, does that mean you could've been a Dancer too?" the lance continued to question.
Demyx let out a sigh as he rubbed his temples.
"I told them something like this would happen," he muttered.
"Now don't go telling us there was a mix-up at the registration office or something. We've heard that many times," Lance Soldier said.
"I know, I know. I thought it was weird the first time…" Demyx replied.
"Well? Do you have an answer or no answer?" the lance asked.
"Well, as you all would've guessed, most of the Nobodies were based off of our fighting style when Kingdom Hearts II was in motion. The only Nobodies who weren't subjected to a leader were the Dusks and the Creepers. Is it alright to break the fourth wall here?"
"You are supposed to be dead," Lance Soldier pointed out.
"Good point. Anyways, you might not have known this, but Dancers don't know how to dance at all."
"Seriously?!" both Heartless and weapon chimed at the same time.
"…until I teach them how to."
"So, you're not really a leader," the lance theorized, "You're actually a teacher!"
"That explains why you never summoned any Dancers in KH II," Lance Soldier said.
"Actually, during the Heartless attack in Hollow Bastion, where do you think all of those Dancers came from?" Demyx corrected.
"Oh. That was a bit of foreshadowing there, wasn't it?" Lance Soldier asked.
"Okay, here's another one. Why, in Jiminy's Journal, does it say you're a weak fighter, when half of the time you're slaying the hell out of Sora?" the lance asked.
"Hold on, they said I was weak?" Demyx replied, "Why would they (pointing at the producers) say something like that?"
"I'm assuming that people would assume that you were, assumingly, not a fan of fighting. I assume they assumed that you weren't good at fighting, assuming you were weak," Lance Soldier theorized.
The weapon and the Melodious Nocturne stared at the bronze knight, with the weapon looking less disturbed than the Nobody sitting across from it.
"You know the old saying," the weapon spoke, "when you assume, you make an 'ass' out of 'u' and 'me'."
"Well paint me purple and call me DK, I was only making a theory!" Lance Soldier retorted.
"He was still pretty accurate in his guess," Demyx stated, "hell, I couldn't have said it better myself, sort of."
"And now on to another question," Lance Soldier said, "it's time we poked at a common pairing involving Demyx: Zexion x Demyx. Demyx, in the search engine, a lot of 'ZEMYX' fiction comes up when you're name is typed. As the author has never played Chain of Memories, he can only assume, mind that he does, that this pairing is the most favorable among fans involving you. Demyx, what do you have to say about this?"
"Well, I knew something like this would happen when I signed the contract," Demyx said, rubbing the back of his head, "first off, all I'd like to say is that if the fans like it, they like it. I mean, I've seen some nasty things that porn stars do, and for one second, I think about how they feel doing it. Usually, fantasy isn't that detailed; that job is for reality and the people in it. Since me and Zexion weren't seen socializing at all in the Kingdom Hearts series, this doesn't really bother me at all. I mean, sure the fans love this kind of thing whenever it involves a fandom with less woman than a Star Wars convention, but as long as Square Enix stays out of the "fan-service-will-get-us-rich-quick" plan, it really doesn't bother me at all."
"…whoa, that was a mouthful. I was expecting to be a bit more deliberate let alone calm about it," Lance Soldier commented.
"He took it like a man, you have to give him some cred'," the lance stated.
"Speaking of credit, do you guys mind if I practice with my Sitar for a while?" Demyx asked as he grabbed his Sitar nearby.
"Sure, we still have a few questions in mind," Lance Soldier said as he began stringing a bit.
"Okay, my turn," the lance started, "Demyx, you just drank 2 cups of coffee and had no fiber for breakfast on your way to work. You head to the bathroom as if the hallway would explode if you didn't make it in time. You see that the stalls aren't working and the wall toilets are the last option. There are people waiting within the bathroom. One of the toilet dividers has been ripped off and there's someone using the toilet despite the empty space. The other toilet is being used and nobody has used the other toilet. What do you do?"
Lance Soldier remained speechless throughout the talking bout as Demyx stared at the weapon oddly.
"Normal men don't look. I'd use the toilet and be on my way," he said calmly as he resumed string his sitar.
"What the hell was that about? We're supposed to talk about inquiring questions, not question over 28 characters," Lance Soldier complained.
"I just wanted to see what he would say. No one else gave me an answer I just wanted to see what I would get."
Annoyed, Lance Soldier redirected his attention to Demyx continuously stringing his sitar. Then, a thought came into his mind.
"Demyx, how many songs do you know?"
"Hmm? Oh, well, since the sitar isn't electrical, I'm limited to few solos. But like all of the greatest guitarists in the world, I steal the ideas. But since the Organization keeps my ass busy, I usually have my Dancers scout for them. I had about 40 singles ready to go before Sora sworded me to death. But seeing how I've been revived thanks to fandom, I'm thinking of actually starting on them."
"So, you're saying you have none at the moment? Well, I don't expect too much from you, seeing as the time you had died and the time you are here, most of those songs have already been produced. You might wanna think some of them through before you edit them," Lance Soldier advised.
"I know. I marked the ones that are 'lawsuit-risks' and 'can't-sue-me-yets'," Demyx said.
"Wonderful. Pokey thingy, do you have any question for him?"
"No. I have nothing," the weapon replied.
"You know what that means!" Lance Soldier exclaimed enthusiastically.
"Wh-what does it mean?" Demyx asked.
"FANMAIL!!" both chimed.
"…aw hell no."
"Sorry Demyx, but according to the contract, if this fiction doesn't reach 8 pages when we run out of questions, we have to reply to fanmail," Lance Soldier stated.
Demyx placed his fingers on his chin for a quick idea and thought of one, "I'll just ramble incoherently until we reach 8 pages!"
"Sorry, but the author can't type ramble that effectively since rambling requires random yet pronounceable syllables," the lance stated.
"You heard it here folks! For 2 chapters, you will have the privilege to ask Demyx about anything! Send your questions in your review, and please review a lot. The author will explain the rest of the details," Lance Soldier advertised.
Well, I've stooped this low; I guess it's time I did something like this. Anyway, I will be interviewing all of the Organization members, all of who will have three chapters for them until we move on to another member. If there are still a lot of reviews for one specific member when the other comes in, we will keep the member until we have three members interviewed in total. When another member is to be interviewed, one of the current members being interviewed has to go, whom you will vote off.
Please send in one question per review. The questions aren't limited but if someone asks a similar question you asked, the question will be dismissed. If this happens, review anonymously under your name and ask a different question, repeat should it reoccur.
Should you flame or complain about what the members answer, you will be blocked. I don't care how much you love a pairing, if you deny whatever negative comments I make the members say, that is what they say. Keep in mind that I'm trying to keep the members as much as in character as I can. I'll NEVER make someone openly claim that the pairing is absolutely true even if it's obviously not. I'm pairing sensitive myself but don't push something like akuroku on me with footage as long as time itself.
And remember, there no stupid questions, just stupid questions. R & R!