Inu Wars

Summary: What happens when you mix caffeinated craze dream of a sixteenth century humanoid hanyou and the greatest sci-fi movie of all times? A fucked up Star Wars dream that's what! Inu Yasha must over come the forces of the dark side to save Princess KagomeLea, or just plain Kagome, with his trusty Light-Rin! Can he master the ways of becoming a Jedi Master with Master Totoda, whom everyone just calls Totosai? And can he defeat Darth Naraku and Darth Sessho-Maru? What is his relationship with Darth Sessho-Maru?


Chapter 1: Sugar Hell


Inu Yasha hated it… hated it with a passion.

The damn sugar daddy package wouldn't open. Every time he got a hold of the edge, the blasted thing would tear off just a little bit. He had been trying his damn hardest to get it open for nearly ten minutes… make that eleven. It was the night of the new moon, at least in Kagome's time and her family was away. Away to where? Somewhere in Osaka for some weird expo of mummified crap from his era.

"AHH!" shrieked Inu Yasha, "Open damn you! I want to eat you! Woman! Open this blasted thing before I eat the wrapping too!" he fumbled with the caramel cover paper, praying to all gods of caffeine that it would open. Again it ripped and he shrieked, almost sounding like a school girl.

"Calm down, Inu Yasha. Maybe you shouldn't eat so much candy." Kagome sighed as she took the candy from his chocolate covered hands, "You ate six bags of jumbo party mix candies alone! Can you really handle any more sugar? You ate my snicker bar and Twix!"

"No! I need more!" whined the humanoid hanyou, "I love sugar. It's my friend!"

Kagome shook her head in disbelief, the eyes of the hanyou gone human dilating as if he was on a high, the color streaks from the M&M's earlier making him look like an escaped psychopath that had an accident with finger paints.

"Let's just finish the marathon ok? It's almost three in the morning, but there's one left." Kagome leaned back, unwrapping the sugar daddy and popping it in her mouth, "Star Wars isn't such a bad movie, though I don't understand why they made the last three first. Look at those effects!"

"Kagome… I have no clue what you mean, the movie is trippy as it is, but besides that, why did you eat my candy?" Inu Yasha crossed his arm as he pouted, eyeing Kagome with a look of malice, at least he hoped that what it looked like, but the buzzing in the back of his head and flashing lights with the music playing in the back ground was really making thinking difficult. The thunder storm wasn't helping either. He twitched.

"Oh shut up! All I know that the guy who played the older Anikin Skywalker was hot. Too bad he got messed up after episode three." She sighed, "The beautiful never last long." She pretended to wipe away a tear as she sniffled. "And it was not funny when he lost his hand!"

"I thought it was. Come on, Sessho-Maru showed more balls than that! He didn't whine like a ninny!"

"That's because he was a great big DOG!"

Inu Yasha grumbled to himself as he shoved a mouth full of caramel popcorn into his mouth, then chugged it down with a can of coke. Opening another bag of regular buttered popcorn, he dumped a box of milk duds and a pack of pop rocks in it and consumed a fun size pack of whoppers. More coke soon followed and the fun size kiddy packs of jolly ranchers you can find in the AMC kid packs. Throwing the can behind him, he went for a can of root beer, then the king size double peanut butter filled Reese's pieces butter cups and snickers.

He went to the kitchen and opened the freezer, grabbed the cappuccino dark chocolate heart Godiva ice cream, a box of soft chewy chips ahoy and Oreos before resuming his quested on finding the hidden boxes of donuts Kagome hid earlier that day. He raised a brow as he opened the oven, finding the pink boxes of custard chocolate glazed donuts and it's siblings of other donutty flavored yuminess. Ah, the wonders he could eat in a box of four dozen donuts crammed in each box. Getting the can of whip cream and Twinkies, ho hos and zingers, Inu Yasha went to sit on his spot on the couch.

He didn't understand what was happening in the movie only that Darth Vader and Luke Skywalker were talking.

'Vader should really see a doctor about that breathing problem or maybe… a DARTHER' Inu Yasha cackled at his own corny joke, "It wasn't that funny…" he finely said to himself, "God… I. AM. A. LOSER!"

"Hmm?" Kagome said, eating a pocky stick as she watched the two characters ramble on and on. "Can you believe the two are related?"

"Nothing… nothing at all…" he jumped as the two characters clashed together in a death defying fight of neon colored swords. Where were the blades? And where did that other guy come from? Oh no! Vader turned against him! "Yeah… kinda figured something like that was gonna happen after episode three." Inu Yasha began to twitch as he filled a twinkie with whipped cream.

"If I hadn't seen the movie already, I wouldn't have!" Kagome said, finally turning toward the boy behind her, "HOLY ICING BATMAN! Inu Yasha, you're not going to eat all that!" she yelled, trying in vain to reach over and grab a box of donuts, "You have to share!"

"NEVER!" squealed Inu Yasha and he not so lightly shoved Kagome with his foot, covered in socks since the heater was broken. Oh well, at least she wouldn't be impaled by his nasty toe jam. Oh the horrors of cleaning it earlier!

"Well… You're going to get fat if you don't share!" she hissed.

"And so would you, retorted Inu Yasha as he crammed a plain glazed donut. The left over bits crusted over his mouth, making a nice frosty ring around his lips. To Kagome, it looked kind of…. Kind of wrong. Yeah…. She really had to stop reading gay romance novels. Or romance novels in general.

"This is blasphemous!" Kagome hollered, getting up and walking toward the stair case, "Fine, don't share you pig! I hope you breakout and gain… a zillion pounds! See if anyone would want to fight a lard butt! Fatty!" she humphed, walking up the stairs with her eyes clothes and nose in the air. Little did she know, once of Sota's toys was ready to ambush her.

Kagome stepped on it, squealing in pain as she tripped, sliding down the stairs. Inu Yasha pointed at her and laughed, chunks of Zingers and Ho Hos flying out. "Da wha ju gef, Kwag'meh." He said, laughing.

Kagome got up and threw the evil hell produced toy at his head, successfully knocking him unconscious. Little did they know, he was about to enter the scariest dream ever experienced since Alice in Wonderland or Bring it On 2. Nah, Legally Blonde was scarier, but he'd never admit to watching it. But either way, a certain Mr. Seuss would have loved to meet him.


And there is the first chapter. I wanted to post this up along time ago, but a lot of things kept me from it. I am minutes away being whisked away to buy food for a very special event at school… woooo! I hope you enjoy and I want 10 reviews! Please? If you have any ideas, feel free to tell me. Maybe in another chapter or 2, I may post the entire characters' roll. But for now, you may guess who plays who after the ones I already told you.