The Morning After
Disclaimer: I am in no way associated with Namco or anyone who hold rights to Tales of the Abyss. It isn't mine, I'm just playing with it.
Spoiler Warning: Uhm, if you don't know who Asch is or why Guy has problems with House Fabre, then it's a spoiler?
Guy Cecil was used to the many, varied peculiarities that one Luke fon Fabre introduced into his life. How could he not be? Seven years and counting and he still found himself sometimes tripping over the idiot when he got up in the morning. Of course, those little episodes weren't quite as innocent as they had once been. Not that he was to blame for that. It wasn't his fault! It was entirely Luke's doing! He'd had no intention of getting thoroughly shitfaced on his birthday and then waking up in bed with a certain naked impudent redhead curled snuggly around him. Granted, he hazily remembered being gentle at the outset for that night. He'd had enough vague focus to, uh, not make an arguably idiotic virgin's first go something he would regret. Of course, that had changed over the course of the evening. Luke was nothing if not enthusiastically insatiable. So, yes, he'd gotten quite used to screwing Luke into the bed... and the floor and the table and the wall, sometimes a tree, or just, hell, the damn grass worked just as well.
So it was perfectly understandable to expect to wake up to a redhead in his bed, or on his floor for that matter. What he hadn't been expecting was waking up to two redheads in his bed. One redhead who looked entirely too peaceful to be anything but a ticking time bomb, and the usual suspect snuggling said ticking time bomb like he was the proverbial teddy bear.
Probably literally in this case.
Guy gulped silently, shifted in preparation of hopefully sliding out of this little disaster waiting to wake up and winced at the extremely telling sharp ache radiating from his nether regions. Well, someone had certainly had a lot of fun down there last night. Unfortunately, he couldn't recall just who had taken him for a ride... though it was distinctly possible that both of them had had their fun with his lower extremities. He did, however, faintly remember quite a lot of licking and groping and kissing... and a little biting. Guy couldn't help but blush a bit as he finally noticed the very telltale bruising that paraded down Asch's neck and across his shoulder. Okay, maybe more than a little. And he most definitely remembered running his hands through gorgeous long red hair -damn Luke for cutting his stupid hair-, playing with it and wrapping it around his hand as he... uh... yeah, long hair was great in certain instances.
He was going to die. That's all there was to it. The only real question was whether Asch would kill him or Luke first. Probably Luke. And just this once, he'd stand back and just watch... because the little shit totally deserved it this time. Getting him drunk was expected. It had happened enough times by now for him to get used to it and the typical morning after wake up routine which generally consisted of him unknotting himself from whatever bizarre position he'd invariably end up in the night before. That was fine. He did dearly love Luke after all, despite the many, many, many times he very much wanted to beat the snot out of the incorrigible moron. But getting Asch drunk and then having their... usual way with him... Yeah, that was practically a declaration of war. Hell no, he wasn't going to help the idiot out. No, he was going to find someplace moderately safe to hide out in and hope that when the dust finally settled he'd still have all of his working parts. More or less.
...Hell, his testicles were already trying to shrivel up in dread.
Guy froze solid as a small twitch of the time bomb snared his entire attention. Asch's brows scrunched together slightly, then smoothed out a second later as he turned his face further into the pillow. Guy almost allowed himself to think that his impending death had been delayed a little bit longer, but his usual disaster decided to intrude upon that happy thought. A soft hum issued forth before Luke tightened his arms around Asch somewhat and nuzzled at his neck. The scene was entirely too cute for words, and Guy seriously wondered if he had lost his mind to even be considering something like that at a time like this.
And then Asch opened his eyes.
For a moment, everything was deceptively peaceful. Asch was just laying there, blinking muzzily, still half asleep by all accounts. But his expression, it was getting more and more and more confused as the seconds ticked by. And then finally something clicked and the aforementioned time bomb shot up in bed, jostling and waking up the eternal idiot, though Asch didn't seem to notice that little detail. No, he was far too busy looking around the room and at all of their clothes strewn about it in an interesting array and yes, that was extreme alarm dawning upon his face. Oh dear.
It took a few more very quiet but charged seconds before Asch's now horror filled gaze alighted upon Guy. Of course, it had to be him. He couldn't look to Luke, whose fault this was entirely. Noooo, he had to look at the responsible one. Goddamnit, he just had to get himself installed in such a position where certain idiotic redheads always ended up looking up to him for explanations, now didn't he? Lord, but he was so fucking stupid. Well, fine then, he'd deliver an explanation, a rather deserved one.
But before Guy could even open his mouth to seal the moron's doom, Luke sat up, blearily rubbed his eyes and looked over at Asch. "Good morning." That shithead, he didn't even spare a glance of sympathy at his typical poor beleaguered victim of choice. Little bastard was asking for it as far as Guy was concerned.
Asch visibly shuddered and then slowly craned his head around to give Luke the most "what the fuck" inspiring look any of them had ever seen to date.
Luke merely blinked in response and reached up to feel Asch's forehead. "No headache or anything, right?" He asked breezily, as if the situation they all found themselves waking up in was the most natural thing in the world. For him, perhaps it was.
Asch just stared at him in return, completely bewildered by the question what with the other subject at hand being that much more severe. But finally, he gave himself another shake, leaned back a little from Luke, to lose contact if nothing else, and muttered a simple strained, "No."
Humming thoughtfully, Luke studied Asch for a moment, perhaps to make sure that the surly God-General was being honest with him, then he shrugged nonchalantly and turned his attention towards Guy. "See? I told you I knew what I was doing," he crowed triumphantly and grinned.
Guy could easily say that he felt his stomach fall out in that singular moment. He... really didn't hear that right, did he? The little idiot did not just implicate him in arranging this little disaster with his typical careless way with words... did he? Yes, judging by the absolutely frigid glare that Asch was now spearing him with, the little brat actually did. Luke really was asking for it at this point, but first he needed to save his own hide. There were very important priorities that must be dealt with first before lovely, wonderful vengeance.
"Don't listen to him," he started off frantically, waving a finger pointedly at the now smug little bastard sitting behind his latest victim, "I had nothing to do with this. He always drugs me whenever he feels like it. I have no say in the matter whatsoever."
"Drugs have nothing to do with it!" Luke piped up, sounding completely scandalized by the very idea. "I just know how to mix up a nice drink that gives you a sweet buzz without the awful headache in the morning. How can you complain about that?"
"Because I can barely remember anything in the morning!" Guy yelled back, his self-preservation instincts shoved to the side for the moment as the more mundane aggravation where Luke was concerned took over. Why did they always have to have this same damn argument every single time? Why couldn't the idiot just leave well enough alone? He was more than happy to screw the fool senseless when he was sober, for god's sakes.
"Now now, Guy," Luke chided as he closed his eyes in something that resembled a very put upon expression, "We've had this conversation before. When you're all stressed out, you just can't let yourself go without a little help. Well, I just supply the necessary aid. It's really not that hard of a concept-" And that was about as far as he got before a hand wrapped itself around his throat.
"Let me get this straight," Asch said calmly, too calmly, as he secured his grip around Luke's neck, "You drugged me last night, and then somehow arranged for me to end up in your room and your bed. And I'm not supposed to kill you now, why exactly?"
Luke raised his hand and waved it in the negative. "This is Guy's room," he supplied oh so helpfully, "and Guy's bed."
"Fine," Asch growled sulfurously as he tightened his grip, "You drugged me and dragged me to Guy's room for your little sordid orgy. You still have not given me a decent explanation for why I shouldn't kill you now, much less one for why I shouldn't just kill you both for that matter." He snarled the last as he gave Guy a quick murderous glare, showing quite readily that he had not forgotten about or even considered forgiving the other participant involved in this little encounter.
Uhoh. Guy glanced surreptitiously towards the door and tried to gauge the distance and just how far he could get before Asch caught up with him. Shit. Probably not very far, even if he didn't take the deadly mood the God-General was in into account. And he did, oh lord, but he did. He wasn't that stupid, unlike certain other individuals. And well, to be perfectly honest, he just didn't fancy the idea of one of the girls coming across his naked beaten corpse somewhere out in the hallway on this fine morning. He still had his dignity, sort of. Well, okay, he had just a few remnants left now but they were his and he wanted to hold on to them as long as humanly possible. Which probably wouldn't be very long all things considered. Luke did have a way of destroying whatever little hope he had left in certain areas.
Luke rolled his eyes heavenward and poked at the wrist attached to the offending hand wrapped around his throat. "Come on, you were so damned depressed last night that I thought this might help. Surely you can see that Guy doesn't hate you now."
Both Asch and Guy blinked blankly at that for several long moments, then burst out at practically the same time, "What?!"
Luke rolled his eyes again and sighed heavily in annoyance. Grimacing, he stole a quick glance at Asch then pinned Guy with a thoroughly reproachful glare. "He overheard you talking with Natalia yesterday afternoon."
"What does that-," Guy started dumbly, then remembered the general subject of his discussion with the princess the other day, "Oh." He hadn't really meant anything by what he'd said, but he supposed it might have come across that way. He just... didn't want her getting so worked up over stuff like that. Relationships always ended up being stupid anyway, especially where redheads were concerned.
"I see," Asch hissed out through gritted teeth. A few seconds passed in charged silence, then he forcibly removed his hand from Luke's throat and looked anywhere but at them. "Well then, if you don't mind, I'm going to get dressed, get the hell out of here and forget any of this ever happened. And you two can just go back to doing whatever the hell it is that you do."
"But- I don't-," Luke sputtered, taken aback a bit by Asch's immediate reversal of reactions. Why did he always have to be so damn difficult to read? Couldn't he just enjoy the moment for once? Asch merely gave him a disinterested look in return and then started to get up. "No!" Luke shrieked and pounced, startling both Guy and Asch with his outburst and thus giving himself just enough time to wrestle the prissy God-General back down onto the bed before Asch could seriously start fighting back.
"Let. Me. Go," Asch ground out as he glared pure death up at the idiot daring to manhandle him.
"No," Luke said frantically as he tried his best to think up a way to explain things without running Asch or Guy off for good, "We're not done yet." He gave Guy a quick uncertain glance, then looked back down and nervously chewed on his bottom lip. "You see, I didn't do this on the spur of the moment."
They both gave him mirrored expressions of extreme disbelief at that. Luke chuckled weakly and nodded somewhat in mock shame. "Okay, I lied. It was on the spur of the moment, however, the fact that it was you was not."
Asch shuddered and closed his eyes, as if to prevent himself from killing the idiot outright. "I don't care-"
"Yes, you do," Luke said quickly, interrupting the God-General before he could even get started. This wasn't going to be an argument. He would be made to understand, they both would, because he was damn well tired of the typical song and dance he went through with them both. "You have to understand, Guy has absolutely no initiative."
"Uh, Luke?" Guy ventured hesitantly. He really, really didn't want to be here right now and certainly didn't want to be the subject of their little talk. He had a bad feeling that whatever was going to happen wasn't going to be pretty and would probably change everything. He loved Luke. He really, really did... which was why he hadn't run for his life just yet, but that thought was becoming more and more appealing as the minutes ticked by.
"Shut up, Guy," Luke groused goodnaturedly, "I know what you're going to say, but I also know something else." Smirking knowingly, he shook his head and continued on with his explanation. "I know all about Guy and his little problems. You see, I had to get him drunk the first time just to show him that I didn't mind a damn bit about having sex with him. Or a lot of other things for that matter."
"So really, it's just a simple fact that I know how Guy thinks better than he does," Luke concluded happily, completely and utterly ignoring any further protests from his best friend. "Thus, it really was the easiest thing in the world to figure out just how he felt about you."
"Now wait just a damn minute," Guy interjected in mounting desperation. The idiot wasn't doing what he thought he was, was he? He didn't- He couldn't- There was just... certain things he couldn't do... weren't there? Luke understood that, didn't he?
Luke shook his head again in mild exasperation. "Yes yes, I know. I know. There's that whole hang up with revenge and everything. And god, can you be so stupid?" Giving Guy a thoroughly disgusted look, he plowed on, "I know you don't hate Asch. And I know why you don't. And frankly, I'd be a little put out if it was anybody else. Just thank every god available that you have good taste, otherwise you'd be flying high and dry already, sweetheart."
Asch scowled and pushed pointedly at Luke's hold on him. "If this is your idea of a lover's spat, you can just-"
"It's not," Luke said gently as he leaned down, his nose almost touching Asch's, "It really really isn't. I've wanted you for quite awhile now. But I think Guy's had that sort of yearning for a lot longer, he's just refused to admit to it. And well, I love Guy and I'd really love to love you too, so I arranged certain things last night. Hope you don't mind."
Guy just sat there in stunned silence for several seconds. Oh. Well shit, the incorrigible idiot really was doing what he thought he was. Damn damn damn. He hadn't... he wasn't... he wasn't sure he was quite ready to deal with his little irrational feelings towards Asch, both the real ones and the ones he had created out of disgust at himself. But well, there Luke was, forcing him to face what he didn't want to, regardless. Again. Lovable brat.
"Is that was this is really all about?" Guy asked softly, just to make sure. If he had to, then he would just have to. And hopefully Asch wouldn't hate either of them in the long run. After all, he really did want to-
"Of course it is," Luke said sharply before giving Guy an aggravated look, "I'm not stupid."
Guy smirked. How could he not? That was just too easy of an opening to pass up. "Yes, you are."
"No, I'm not."
"Yes, you are."
"No, I'm no-"
"Could you two just shut the fuck up?" Asch snarled and shoved ineffectually against the idiot looming over. "And while you're at it, get the hell off of me!"
Luke looked back down at Asch thoughtfully and shook his head. "No. No, I don't think so. At least, not until I'm sure that you'll come back tonight."
"I have absolutely no intention-"
"Exactly my point," Luke said breezily as he leaned down and licked the tip end of Asch's nose, "I know you well enough, which admittedly isn't as well as I'd like to, but we'll get to that later. But anyway, I know you well enough to know that if you really didn't want to be here, then you wouldn't be."
Asch scowled at that and looked away, but there was just a hint of color in his cheeks. It wasn't much, but it was more than enough for Luke's purpose.
Grinning at his apparent victory, Luke continued on cheekily, "And with that in mind, I'm going to show you just exactly what's going to happen tonight. In detail." He spared another glance for Guy and shrugged. "And I guess Guy can watch if he really wants to since he still seems a bit conflicted at the moment." Sighing in a very put upon manner, he reached down and gently forced Asch to look up at him as he explained further, "You've just got to give him his space sometimes. He's so exceptionally dense about these things that it really takes him awhile to figure out what he really wants to do."
"And well, I guess the view might encourage him some." Luke grinned impishly as he lowered his head down, his lips almost brushing against Asch's as he concluded, "Sometimes he needs visual cues to help him along." And then he shut up for good and crossed the minimal gap, kissing the God-General for all he was worth and thoroughly elated by the fact that Asch seemed interested enough to kiss him back.
Of course, Guy couldn't let that stand. There was still the little matter of well deserved vengeance. And well, yes, there was also that unexpected, but perhaps welcome, addition of Asch to the equation, but hey, the more the merrier. And as long as Luke couldn't walk straight afterwards, then he'd be more than content with the punishment meted out.
He really did love the idiot after all.
Possibly both of them.
But he'd think about that later, much later. He had two very sexy redheads in his bed at the moment. He shouldn't let this perfect opportunity go to waste.