Rated: K+

Summary:

Pairings: Implied silver atoji and dirty well, too much silver to be actually implied

Category: humour/ general

Characters: Hyotei Tennis Regulars

Disclaimer: Is this necessary everytime?

Sorry if the reading part doesn't make much sense…I tried


Another one of my pointless, random stories…crap, I wrote this while listening RajiPuri so it's gonna be pretty messed up. Here's a list of the past crap:

Hyotei Phobia

Hyotei Library Session

Bets and Lovers


There was a book that all the Hyoutei senior regulars knew about. A leather bound Hyoutei blue book that was possibly the best kept secret in Hyoutei because not even Mukahi wanted everyone to know about the book. To any other it would be just another book, perhaps one of the wonderful books of Inui or one of the blackmail albums of Fuji or Kirihara's colouring books. But no, it was something much more scary…(yes, even Kirihara's colouring books are not as scary as this) it was called the Book of Stupidity (tm)(c). But not all secrets were kept, and certainly no Hyoutei secrets. Therefore, one day, this secret was out, at least among the Junior Hyoutei Members .

"Ne Hiyoshi, what's this do you think? I've seen Oshitari-senpai flip through this book a lot." Ohtori noticed the book on the ground. Perhaps it's Oshitari-senpai's jounal…I should give it back to him.

"Why don't you open it?"

"But, but, what if it's private?" Ohtori considered.

"Argh, I'll do it." Hiyoshi snatched the book and flipped to some random page, he froze, his eyes widened, a look of horror on his face.

"This…is…this….is…." The book fell on the floor.

"What is it? Is it a journal?"

"Not really."

"What's on it."

"Fortunes…"

"Fortunes?"

"From Fortune Cookies."

Ohtori opened the book and stared, neatly labelled were five notes, each with a name next to them. He read the notes out loud:

"Atobe: Your reflection is not all it seems. Oshitari: Plans may backfire, blackmail is not the best solution. Mukahi: Old friends may be tricking you. Jirou: wake up and see the world around you and Shishido:" Ohtori blushed. "Love may be in the air." Beside each one was a little note made by Oshitari. "Atobe: they nailed you down perfectly," This was crossed out and another note was scribbled, "Are you challenging ore-sama, ahhh?" Beside that was scribbled by Shishido "Atobe, admit it, you have a problem." This was crossed out messily and another note said, "Ore-sama DOES NOT have a problem."

"What…the…" Hiyoshi snatched the book again and read out loud the writing beside Oshitari's fortune, it was Oshitari's own handwriting. "Oshitari, are they trying to say something?" Written beside it was "Mukahi: Yeah, stop tricking money off me." This was crossed out and beside that was written, "Oshitari: Gakuto, don't be so gulliable." And beside that was written "I AM NOT GULLIBLE! SHISHIDO IS THE FREAK THAT'S GULLIABLE!" Shishido was later crossed out and wrote Mukahi, this was crossed out and written Shishido…that continued for what seemed like a while until Shishido wrote, "Get a life."

"Wow…" Ohtori took the book and read out loud. "Mukahi" Scrabbled beside it was Oshitari's handwriting "I have nothing to do with this message." And beside it was obviously Atobe's neat handwriting, "Yuushi don't pretend" Then that was crossed out, "Oshitari: I already got enough money." Nothing was written after that, Ohtori looked down at Jirou's message and beside it was scribbled roughly, "Self explanatory…" They couldn't quite decipher who wrote that message. Ohtori blushed before reading Shishido's message and Hiyoshi had to take the book from Ohtori.

Mukahi's handwriting "It's implying something, Shishido," And that was crossed out and Shishido scribbled beside it, "Mind your own damn business." Atobe scribbled something beside that. "We all know it's talking about Ohtori." Hiyoshi snuck a glance at Ohtori who was a deep shade of vermillion. Nothing was written after that.

"Saturday April 16th 1:20pm, Atobe's mansion. Mukahi stupid moment: What's the melting point of water." Hiyoshi went on to read. "Saturday April 16th 1:43pm, Shishido stupid moment: Alaska is a country." Hiyoshi was taken aback What the…I've been planning to genkokojou my sepia-tachi for so long and they're as stupid as this? I knew I should've went to Seishun.

"What are you guys looking at?" Mukahi stood in the doorway of the clubhouse.

"Nothing…" Ohtori quickly slammed the book shut.

"Hey, where did you get that?" Mukahi jumped over to the juniors.

"We found it lying in the clubhouse." Hiyoshi said.

Mukahi paused for a moment, as if considering what to do, then opened his mouth and closed it, then opened his mouth again and screamed deafeningly. "YUUSHIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII!!!"

"What is it now?" Oshitari appeared in the doorway only to be assaulted by a screaming Mukahi.

"The book!"

"What book?"

"The book of Stupidity!"

"What about it?"

"It's been discovered!"

"So?"

"SO? WHAT DO YOU MEAN SO? HOW CAN YOU BE SO INCONSIDERATE!?!?!? We're OVER!"

"Again?"

"YES AGAIN!"

"It's a book…"

"It…has...everything in it!"

"I understand that…"

"DOESN'T THAT BOTHER YOU!?!?!??! HOW CAN YOU BE SO CAUSAL?!?!?"

"Gakuto, calm down." Atobe stood at the doorway, gazing around at the luxurious room.

"What the hell?" Shishido appeared behind Atobe.

"Gakuto is having another spazz."

"What is it this time?"

"The Book of Stupidity." Atobe rolled his eyes.

"WHAT!?!?!?!? WHO DISCOVERED IT?!!?!?" Shishido screamed.

"Not you too…" Oshitari rubbed his temples.

"NO ONE OUTSIDE THE SENIOR REGULARS ARE SUPPOSED TO SEE IT!"

"Gomennasai, Shishido-san." Ohtori hung his head.

"Cho- Chotarou…" Shishido calmed down instantly.

"What IS this book?" Hiyoshi asked, glaring at it.

"The Book of Stupidity, it was started when we met." Oshitari explained

"Why was it started?" Ohtori asked.

"I don't know, we wanted to remember…I guess." Shishido said.

"Sentimental." Hiyoshi smirked.

"SHUT UP!"

"Shishido-san…" Ohtori touched Shishido's shoulder.

"It has some smart moments too," Hiyoshi commented flipping through the book.

"Most of them were put in by Atobe, about himself." Oshtari was still trying to calm Mukahi down."Atobe's stupid moments are more interesting."

"He has stupid moments?" Hiyoshi's interest was perked.

"Ore-sama does NOT have stupid moments!"

"Page 33, line six." Oshitari said, pushing his glasses.

"Page 33…" Hiyoshi flipped, "Sunday April 20th 6:30pm, French Restaurant, Atobe stupid moment: Couldn't spell his own name."

"…THAT WAS GALUTO TRYING TO CONFUSE ORE-SAMA!"

"WAS NOT! I WAS JUST TRYING TO GET OUT OF PAYIN THE BILL!"

"You're just making it worse for yourself, Gakuto." Oshitari said.

"Argh!"

"Hiyoshi, page 34, line 3." Atobe said and snapped his fingers.

Hiyoshi glared at Atobe and turned the page to 34, "Monday April 21st Geography Class, Mukahi stupid moment: Mt. Everest is there? I thought Everest was in America."

"Hey! I really didn't know, if Everest was in Tibet then why did the Americans make documentaries on it?" Mukahi argued.

"Oh…my…god…" Ohtori felt the need to cross himself.

"Mukahi, five laps for stupidity."

"NOT FAIR."

"Don't make ore-sama add to that," Atobe snapped, running out of patience.

"Oh and, Chotarou, if you want to see some Shishido, go to page 42." Oshitari smirked as Mukahi took off laughing.

"Alright…" Ohtori got the book from Hiyoshi and turned the page, it was a picture of Shishido staring intently at his fingers. A note beside it said: Shishido cannot count with his fingers. Ohtori stared that the picture for a second, then blinked, and blinked again, sniggers erupted throughout the clubhouse.

"HEY! YOU WEREN'T SUPPOSED TO PUT THAT IN THERE!" Shishido glared daggers at Oshitari.

"Gakuto made me do it." He shrugged.

"DID NOT!" Came a voice outside the clubhouse.

"Woah, he heard you?" Ohtori asked.

"We developed telepathy when we became doubles partners." Oshitari said with a straight face.

"Not that again," It was Atobe's turn to rub his temples.

"Telepathy? Someone tell me he's kidding," Shishido shivered at the thought of having telepathy with someone like Mukahi, no scratch that, with someone as scary as Oshitari.

"Nope." Oshitari smirked.

"Shishido, you are so stupid, ne Kabaji?" Atobe smirked.

"Usu."

"Am NOT!"

"Oh really, 'He's going to shoot me with a knife' ahhh?" Atobe said.

"SHUT UP! Mr. My driver drives 2 seconds an hour!"

"That is neither here nor there…" Atobe's vein popped out.

"Don't forget Shishido's famous: Do Russians Speak a different Language?" A voice came through the window and in another moment Jirou walked into the clubhouse, grinning, followed by Mukahi who finished his laps.

"How could we forget?" Atobe smirked.

"Oh yeah, did you forget about your: What's a cod?"

"We didn't learn about Cods in school…" Jirou pouted cutely and Atobe couldn't help but pat Jirou's head.

"Molester…" was the word whispered around the clubhouse.

"SHUT UP!"

"Remember science class? 3 by 4 isn't that like wood? Wait, no that's 2 by 4…didn't Mukahi say that?" Jirou piped up.

"That makes no sense whatsoever." Shishido said.

"Isn't that the point?" Ohtori asked.

"Wait, if this book was around since last year, then wouldn't what Mukahi-senpai and Oshitari-senpai did last year be recorded?" Hiyoshi suddenly asked.

"I suppose," Atobe shrugged.

"Our legacy lives on."

"In the souls of every person in the Mental Institute." Shishido rolled his eyes.

"Shut up, you're just jealous!"

"What page is it on?" Ohtori asked.

"Page 4" Oshitari said.

"It's ripped out." Hiyoshi said, disappointed.

"Shishido…."

"What!? It's not me!"

"…"

"I'm SERIOUS!"

"Gakuto leave it," Oshitari said after Mukahi had chased Shishido around the room with a tennis racket about five times.

"Ore-sama does not appreciate you misusing a Tennis Racket, even if it's on someone as worthless as Shishido."

"Thanks for the concern…" Shishido mumbled.

"Your welcome." Mukahi stuck his tongue out at Shishido.

Shishido opened his mouth to make a retort, but was interrupted by Atobe's "FIFTY LAPS EVERYONE!"

Yep, just another day at practise, another twist, and more entries in the Book of Stupidity.


Glossary of Quotes:

Recorded in Ica's Book of Stupidity (fortunes were made up, but there are fortunes in the actual book of stupidity)

Yes, these are actual Quotes, and yes people have actually said that. I know, I worry for them too… Used with Permission

What's the melting point of water? – Raluca

Alaska is a country –Raluca on her Map of Canada

Couldn't spell his own name – Kirk

Mt. Everest is there? I thought Everest was in America – Raluca, Kirk and Ryan, but mainly Ral

He's going to shoot me with a knife – Raluca

2 seconds an hour – Raluca

Do Russians Speak a different Language – Riti

What's a cod?- Me (yeah, I am pretty stupid)

3 by 4 isn't that like wood? Wait, no that's 2 by 4 – Ral, yeah you gotta worry about her

If I missed any, just assume that it's Raluca


A/N: Phew, finally done, stupid quotes…XP, I got lazy in the end too. So yeah, not very funny unless you appreciate the quotes. XP love ya for reading –muah-

For Ral, Ica, Riti and everyone else I quoted, your stupidity amuses me

Your reviews keep me going!!