Disclaimer: We do not own Lord of the Rings. Though that would be sweet.

How Lord of the Rings Should Have Ended Or Éomer's New Look

(A/N: Okay, so. We all know how outrageous Éomer's helmet is in The Lord of the Rings, right? I mean, come on. Who puts a ponytail at the top of their helmet? But what would happen if he got a totally new helmet? Would it improve his look, or would it just make things even worse?)

Aragorn: Riders of Rohan! What news from the Mark?

Riders: (circle around Aragorn, Legolas, and Gimli. Point their spears at them.)

Éomer: (rides in front with his new helmet) What business does an Elf, a Man, and a Dwarf have in the Riddermark?

Aragorn: (starts snickering)

Éomer: Speak quickly!

Aragorn and Gimli: (burst out laughing)

Legolas: (tries to keep his cool)

Éomer: (glares)

Gimli: (between laughs) Honestly, laddie! No Man, Dwarf, or Elf can possibly take you seriously when you wear that!

Aragorn: (falls to the ground, laughing)

Éomer: (gets off of his horse) I would cut off your head, Dwarf, if it stood but a little higher from the ground.

Legolas: (draws out an arrow and aims to fire) You would die…(chuckle) before…(snort) your…(bursts out laughing)

Éomer: (snaps his fingers)

Random Rider: (hands Éomer his "normal" helmet)

Éomer: (takes off his new helmet and puts on his other one) Speak quickly!

Aragorn: (gets up off of the ground and clears his throat) I'm Aragorn, son of Arathorn. This is Gimli, son of Glóin, and Legolas of the Woodland Realm.

(A/N: And the rest of the scene goes on as it does in the movie.)

Later on…in front of the Black Gate:

Aragorn: (tries to control himself from laughing)

Éomer: (glares at Aragorn) Don't laugh.

Aragorn: Right, right. (clears throat) Let the Lord of the Black Land come forth! Let justice be done upon him!

Mordor Messenger: My master, Sauron the Great…(sees Éomer's helmet) bids…(bursts out laughing)

Éomer: (turns to Aragorn) Are you sure about this? I don't think I can stand this much longer.

Aragorn: (snicker) Just wait.

Mordor Messenger: (dies laughing)

Aragorn: See?

Rest of the Orcs and Whatnot: (march out, see Éomer's helmet) (start snickering)

Aragorn: Wait for it…wait for it…

Éomer: I can't stand this.

Orcs and Whatnot: (burst out laughing)

Gandalf: Why does this seem way too easy?

Aragorn: Because it is. Just watch.

Orcs and Whatnot: (die laughing)

Aragorn: See? We won! And no blood was spilt! (turns to Éomer) High…(snicker)

Éomer: I really don't understand why this is so funny.

Aragorn: …Five…(chuckle)

Éomer: Just great.

Aragorn: (bursts out laughing)

Éomer: You're supposed to be a King! High King of Gondor! Show some dignity!

Aragorn: (falls off his horse, laughing)

Éomer: Show some maturity!

Aragorn: (ignores Éomer and is still laughing and rolling on the ground)

Gandalf: Okay, let's go get Frodo.

Aragorn: (is still too busy laughing)

Éomer: (sighs and takes off his helmet and hands it to a random Rider) Burn this.

The End