Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter and I doubt I ever will.
A/N: I hope you guys like this… This is my take on what might happen. It is a response to the challenge on the MMAD boards.
An Interesting Proposition…
Minerva could not help the small smile which spread upon her lips right now as she walked through the corridors of Hogwarts. She knew that she probably should not have helped Peeves by telling him that the chandelier unscrewed the other way, but she just could not help herself. That horrible toad of a woman who had the nerve to call herself a teacher was undermining Albus at ever turn. Did that woman's incompetence know no bound? Honestly, Minerva wanted to pull at her hair with every meeting.
Minerva had to bite back a sigh and stop herself from rolling her eyes. At least while she was in front of the students who were walking down the halls. How much longer must she put up with that insufferable woman? With any luck, Dolores Umbridge would last no longer than any other Defense Against the Dark Arts teacher that had been teaching here since the demise of Professor Quirrel. Well, she hoped it would not even be that much longer. Because of that...that…that TOAD, Harry Potter's education, as well as the education of every other student, was suffering, the professors were constantly cranky, and her husband of more than thirty years was forced to leave the school.
Yes, she and Albus Dumbledore had been married for roughly thirty two years. For those glorious thirty two years, she had been privileged to call herself Mrs. Albus Dumbledore, even if it was only in private. They had survived numerous battles, the defeat of one dark lord, had three beautiful children together, and many, many wonderful memories as Albus and Minerva Dumbledore. Together!
Minerva could feel tears begin to well up and she fought the urge to let them fall from her eyes. She was, after all, still in the hallway. She could not let the students see her in such a state. Perhaps what she needed was a little break. Not more than five minutes, mind you. But perhaps she just needed to sit down and rest before she finished the things she needed to get done before the weekend started. So, she made her way towards her office. She would have gone to the bedrooms she shared with her husband, but in order to get there Minerva would have had to go through his office. There was no way she was going to run the risk of coming face to face with… her.
"Oh, Professor McGonagall!" Too late. Minerva kept walking as she heard the stout woman nearly break into a run in order to keep up with her. "Ahem! Professor McGonagall!" Minerva sighed and closed her eyes, letting her breath out slowly. Alright, she told herself. All she had to do was talk in the simplest way she could without losing her temper. Right?
"Yes, Dolores?" she asked through gritted teeth. She turned towards the impossible woman. Dolores Umbridge stopped short of Minerva and attempted to gather herself before straightening once again.
"Professor, there you are," she huffed. "I was wondering where you had run off to." Minerva pursed her lips.
"I assure you, Dolores, I was not running anywhere," she said. Dolores quirked a brow as she made a note on a piece of parchment upon the clipboard she carried around with her everywhere. "I do not run from anyone." Dolores continued to smile in that sickening sweet manner that had come to be expected from her.
"Of course not, Minerva," she replied in that sugar coated voice. Oh, how it grated on Minerva's nerve. She turned back to her notes. "Anyway, Minerva, I have something I wish to speak with you about. It seems that since I am to be the permanent headmistress-," Minerva snorted.
"If by permanent, you mean until Professor Dumbledore comes back, then yes, you are," she said. She knew she should not goad her in that manner, but she just could not help herself. This woman was insufferable. She turned and walked away with Dolores right behind her. Dolores continued on as though she had not been interrupted.
"-then there are a few things in which I see fit to change. Your pay, for instance." Minerva felt her back stiffen.
"What about my salary?" she asked. Dolores let out a little laugh as she looked up at Minerva.
"Well, it seems that you make much more than the average deputy head of any other school in the U.K." Minerva now stood as straight as a pin.
"Is that right?" she asked, not once looking back at the pink toad behind her. She could almost feel the sneer covering Dolores' face.
"Well, doesn't that seem a bit odd to you, Minerva?" Minerva looked out of the corner of her eye.
"And what do you mean by odd?" she asked. "I have been the deputy headmistress here for many years, Dolores. By now, I am sure I have proven myself worthy of this position and have earned any raises Albus has been kind enough to offer me." It was at this point that Dolores stood in front of Minerva, halting her in her tracks. There it was. That horrible smirk of hers was smeared across her face.
"Yes, but I question what sort of raises he has been giving you, Minerva. Or, perhaps, what sort he has received… from… you…" Minerva felt the blood drain from her face. How dare that woman insinuate such a thing? So what if she and Albus were secretly married? Dolores did not know that to be fact, so she had no right, no right at all, to suggest such a thing. Minerva stared at her, fire seeming to shoot from her eyes.
"How dare you even suggest a thing, Dolores Umbridge!" she all but screamed. She noticed that she had caught the attention of several passing students, but she did not care at this point. She was mad. "Are you implying that in return for the money, which I have rightfully earned with all my experience in the field of Transfiguration, that I have given the Headmaster sexual pleasure?" She said the last two words in a whisper so that only Dolores could hear. The woman never lost her smile.
"My dear Minerva, I feel this conversation might be better suited for another place. Your office, perhaps?" Minerva nodded, if only to have the chance to have five seconds alone in a room with the woman now staring at her with that awful smirk upon her face. They made their way towards Minerva's office, neither one totally sure what was about to happen.
By the time they reached Minerva's office, Minerva was literally seething. She locked her door and placed a silencing charm upon it. She did not want any unsuspecting student to hear anything that they might not want to hear. She went around her desk and looked as though she would sit, but then decided against it. She turned on Dolores, who was standing on the other side of the desk. She rested her hands upon the desk.
"I do not appreciate the insinuation you have made about the relationship between myself and my employer, Albus Dumbledore," she hissed.
"Believe me, I take no pleasure in the thought of what you may or may not do with Professor Dumbledore," she said.
"Your smirk says otherwise," Minerva bit back. Dolores nodded.
"Well, I can see from that little comment in the hallway that you still believe that Albus shall be permitted to come back to the school. I beg to differ."
"Really?" asked Minerva, her hands upon her hips. "And what makes you say that?"
"Because it is my belief that he has a bias for his entire teaching staff…yourself included."
"And what has lead you to believe this?" Minerva asked, her lips pursed and her eyebrows furrowed. Dolores' smirk seemed to grow impossibly larger. Minerva feared, or rather hoped, that it would grow too big for her smug face and force her head to fall back. Sadistic? Perhaps. But right now she did not care. The former pulled out a piece of paper.
"I have here one marriage certificate. It is signed by a minister from Ireland. It shows that there does exist a marriage between one Minerva McGonagall and one Albus Dumbledore, dated April nineteenth, 1963." Minerva was left with her mouth hanging open.
"But that was supposed to be a concealed document. How did you-?"
"I have my ways," smirked Dolores. "This document will prove his bias and will undoubtedly get him fired for good from Hogwarts." Minerva made to grab at the document, but ironically the toad was too fast for the cat. "Not to mention the impropriety of it all." That was it. Minerva had had enough of this foolishness.
"First of all," she shouted, "Albus has not once been biased. He gave me the job before we decided we wanted a romantic relationship. Second of all, you are just trying to get rid of Albus and therefore are making trumped up charges. What is so improper about falling in love, may I ask you?"
"Nothing," Dolores finally shouted back. "Just the fact that you have no need to be the highest paid Transfigurations Professor or Deputy Headmistress. Not when there are so many other underpaid teachers."
"I have earned every single sickle which is in my vault, and don't you dare go accusing me of harboring dirty money." Minerva walked around her desk and was now standing toe to toe with Dolores. The latter sneered.
"Just like you to be so frugal when it comes to your salary," she hissed. "You have always been frigid, haven't you? Yes, you are frigid in class, frigid at meals… And I'll even bet you are frigid in your own bed." This was when Minerva completely lost it. The words which came out of her mouth next just seemed to tumble out before she could stop herself.
"I am most certainly NOT frigid. I am a disciplinary in the classroom because I am dealing with teenagers all day long. Angst ridden, sexually active teenagers, I might add. As for meals, I am not frigid. I am just on alert for what might happen. With those teenagers in the same Great Hall, as well as Peeves floating around, who knows what could happen? And I am most certainly NOT frigid in the bedroom." Dolores barked out a laugh.
"What proof have you?" she asked.
"Albus and I once did it on the Quidditch Pitch!" Just as she said that, Minerva realized just what a mistake she had made. Oh, this was not good. Not good at all. She had just given Dolores Umbridge, quite possibly the most horrible woman on the face of the planet, the fuel she needed.
"Is that so?" she asked. Minerva buried her face in her hands. Why, oh why, had she revealed such an intimate thing with Dolores Umbridge? Of all people to say this to, why her? Minerva would have even chosen to tell Severus Snape before she told Dolores Umbridge. "Well, if this is true, then I suppose I shall-,"
"Forget everything you have just heard." Minerva spun around at the sound of her husband's voice. Her heart fluttered at the sight of the man she had loved for so long. Unable to contain herself in this, one of her greatest moments of weakness, she ran into his loving arms and began to sob.
"I am so sorry, Albus," she cried. "I did not mean to tell her what I told her. It just came out." Albus soothed her by whispering comforting phrases to her and rubbing soothing circles on her back.
"It is alright, Minerva." After she calmed down a degree, Albus let go of her and walked over to Dolores and held out his hand.
"I would thank you very much if you were to hand over that rather important document to me. You see, out of all the documents which concern me, I feel that is the most important one." Dolores frowned and kept it behind her back.
"And why should I give it to you?" she asked.
"Because if you don't, then I shall be forced to take drastic measures," Albus replied. Dolores smiled.
"Such as?" But Albus never got the chance to answer. Minerva called out a spell from behind him.
"Obliviate," she called out. The spell hit Dolores and she stumbled back. Albus quickly grabbed the marriage document and hid in within his robes. He turned to Minerva.
"When she comes to, send her on her way and then meet me in our rooms." Minerva nodded and kissed him quickly upon the lips.
"Albus?" she called out. She looked about their rooms. "Oh, Albus, where are you?" She gasped when she felt his arms snake around her waist and his hands began to massage her breasts.
"It is about time you showed up," he teased, kissing her where her neck and shoulder met. She smiled and leaned into him. Then, she pulled away from him, suddenly frightened.
"It's too dangerous for you to be here," she said. "Who knows who might have seen you already?" Albus laughed as he pulled her to him.
"Do not fret, my dear," he said. "No one knows I'm here, except you. I promise." He kissed her passionately upon the lips, which she dutifully returned. When he pulled back, he looked at her with a wicked smile upon his face. "I just had to see you again. I've missed you these past few weeks."
"I have missed you as well, my darling." She then felt a wicked grin slowly spread across her face. "Since no one knows you are here, I suggest we take this time to be-," she kissed him as she pushed him towards the wall. When she had him flush against the wall, she pulled back and finished with, "-productive." Albus chuckled.
"A repeat of the Quidditch Pitch, my dear?" he asked, slowly taking her hair out of its bun.
"I'm thinking somewhere more comfortable," she said, indicating the bed with her head. Albus' eyes twinkled.
"Now that is the most interesting proposition I've had in a long while," he said, scooping her up in his arms.
A/N2: Phew. I hope you guys liked my little answer to the challenge that had been issued on the MMAD boards. Read long and prosper. Always Hopeful